– We’re thieves, not spies. – Thank you, Sidney. There goes our not guilty plea. Weighing in at 18% on Rotten Tomatoes, our latest pinched loaf of pure Rogertainment is Bullseye!, a 1990 comedy starring Roger Moore and Michael Caine as two petty criminals pursuing a nuclear physicist and his patron, played by Michael Caine and Roger Moore. Hilarity ensues, probably. See the film Bullseye! was given a fairly lacklustre DVD release, which you can buy from Amazon in Australia (Amazon AU). Both delightfully and inexplicably, it’s available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime Video in the US and the UK. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK). Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll ensure that the haggis you ordered is rigged to explode so that you don’t have to eat the bloody thing.

Must be Christmas. Everyone wants to give me things. A skeleton flies a plane into a Scottish forest, and in that plane Rodge and Tony find a secret formula that will make all fossil fuels obsolete! Soon people are throwing punches, girls and million-dollar contracts at them both, but with the mystery of the skeletal aviator still unsolved, they have no alternative but to wait for the fabulous Nicola Pagett to sort it all out for them. The Rogertainment continues with Episode 13 of The Persuaders! (1972) — The Long Goodbye See the episode The Long Goodbye is available on YouTube somehow, along with the rest of the series. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and Todd is @ToddBeilby. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll ignore our dead father’s last wishes and read out the secret formula after the closing credits of the next Bondfinger episode.

– Will you do it? – Of course. Nobody in the world is better-equipped to get rid of Simon Templar than me. And we’re back at last — a fresh slab of Rogertainment, with a couple of ripper Aussie sheilas along for the ride. When organised crime boss Robert Verrier’s butler is unexpectedly exploded, he becomes convinced that Simon Templar is the killer. Hilarity ensues, of course, and Simon has no choice but to impersonate the assassin to uncover the real culprit. See the episode To Kill a Saint is available on YouTube (for the time being), complete with burned-in Hungarian subtitles. The entire series was released on DVD in two box sets, one for the black and white episodes and another for the colour episodes. The colour episode box set, which includes this episode, is 14 discs of pure Rogertainment, designed to titillate the palette of the true Rodge connoisseur. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and Todd is @ToddBeilby. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll release our next Bondfinger episode with Hungarian subtitles.

– Ah, I make it just on half-past three. – Eight, Holmes. – What on earth are you talking about? – Half-past eight, see. – Watson, we are on New York time. – Oh. Oh, well I’ve always found Greenwich time perfectly adequate to me needs. I see no reason for changing it now. This month: New York! With a horribly miscast Roger Moore as Sherlock Holmes and a horribly misjudged John Watson in Patrick Macnee, Sherlock Holmes in New York is the story of a ruddy-cheeked and thoroughgoingly heterosexual consulting detective, his toffy-nosed dimwit sidekick, and their inexplicably beautiful girlfriend (Charlotte Derampling), who all harbour a dark secret, in the form of an appalling American moppet called Scott. Plus, all of the world’s gold has been stolen, or at least shifted to a nearby floor. Which is why, dear listener, it took us two attempts to work up the courage to even watch this. (Don’t) see the film If you want to spend some money here, a plastic disc release of the film is available. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) If not, it’s currently up on YouTube, for some reason. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll send you some unsolicited tickets to the opening night of our next show.

– Actually, I wanted a word or five about the old Groupee, official magazine you know, I’m acting as PRO. – From the HQ? – BHQ. – On TTR? – JJV. seconded from RHB. – Oh really, how’s the GCM? – A-1. – MY? – 50 PPR. – Downgraded to 007, eh? This month, Steed and Mrs Peel are joined by John Le Mesurier, while we are joined again by Steven B, ably assisting us as we investigate various military bigwigs with improbable facial hair, who appear to be leaking valuable secrets to our enemies. Meanwhile, Diana Rigg’s Spotlight photo is getting one hell of a workout. Which is impossible to object to, really. See the episode As is now well established, Series 4 of The Avengers is also available in a lavish Blu-ray box set. Which is how we watched it. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Steven is @steedstylin, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll sponge your best suit so thoroughly that you’ll be able to see your face in it.

– I see. Oh! Are you going to tie me up? – You bet I am. – Well, I don’t mind, really, but may I fix my face before I die? It’s in such a mess. This month, we’re joined by Steven B from New to Who to investigate the theft by some puppets of the blueprints for a new atomic weapon. Inevitably, Lady Penelope gets tied to a bomb or something, and we have mere moments to locate her before she is completely exploded. The sets are lavish, the hardware is impressive and the eyebrow lifts are the most expensive and time-consuming eyebrow lifts until Rodge takes over as Bond. Thunderbirds are go, in The Man from MI.5. See the episode The episode is available for purchase through various online retailers, but it is currently available in full on YouTube. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Steven is @steedstylin, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we won’t turn up at your wedding, accuse you of bigamy and generally ruin your life.

Can I just have one nice evening before the world explodes? After a disastrous attempt to record a commentary on No Time to Die results in several cinemagoers calling the police, we decide to regroup, get some drinks in, and hold a roundtable discussion of Daniel Craig’s last film in the role. So: when SPECTRE holds a Christmas drinks thing despite Covid restrictions and everyone ends up feeling quite unwell, James Bond, Felix Leiter and 007 (it’s complicated) team up (sort of) to find the renegade scientist responsible. A whole bunch of things happen, and a generation of Bond fans are scarred for life as a result. Be warned. There will be spoilers. Here is a link to the #IAmNotYourVillain campaign by Changing Faces UK, which calls on filmmakers to stop using scars and disfigurement as a signifier of villainy. See the film The film is currently screening in a cinema new you, at last. Streaming and DVDs and things will all come later. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter at @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we won’t suggest that the Bond producers abandon facial disfigurement as a signifier of villainy and start making all their villains avid podcast listeners instead.

It’s nothing much. It’s only serious. This month, advertising account executive Gary Fenn (Roger Moore) and fiery underwear model Marla Kougash (Claudie Lange) find themselves on the run as they try to foil a violent fascist takeover of Great Britain. Meanwhile Richard (Martha Hyer), James (Dudley Sutton), Brendan (Mark Ruffalo) and Nathan (an extremely rosaceous Sir Bernard Lee) take copious liquid advantage of the recent lifting of Sydney’s lockdown by slurring their way through the long-forgotten quota quickie Crossplot. See the film The film is available for purchase through various online retailers, but it is currently available in full on YouTube. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we won’t turn up at your wedding, accuse you of bigamy and generally ruin your life.

– You’re not the first person to pass through my hands, Stirling. – I never thought I was. – They all broke eventually. – I’ll try and spoil your record. This month, James finds himself drugged, sweaty and trapped in a prison cell with a wastepaper basket and no visible means of escape, while Richard insistently questions him about the identity of the mysterious Renfield or something. Meanwhile, Brendan and Nathan flap about uselessly outside. It sounds like a job for The Champions. See the episode You can watch this episode for free on DailyMotion, for the time being. The whole series is also available on iTunes and Amazon Prime Video (in some regions). Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll forget all the grievances we have with you by the time the next episode airs.

– I might try singing an antidote note. – Then do it! – Oh, but that’s three octaves above high C! Nobody’s ever done it before! My voice would be gone! I’d rather die! Holy Peripheral Relevance, Batman! This month, the Dynamic — er — Four have pursued patron-saint-of-the-podcast Joan Collins to Gotham City, where she makes a surprising guest appearance in an episode of Batman as the mesmeric Lorelei Circe, whose voice has an uncanny power over heterosexual men. (Fortunately we’re all very neatly tucked and wearing the Bat-Earplugs for this one.) See the episode As Brendan says towards the end, Batman is available for streaming on Amazon Prime in the US, but not in the UK or Australia. There is, however, a beautifully mastered Blu-ray box set available. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll introduce her to our new friend Ethel Merman and her lovely collection of parasols.

– Do I look like a burglar? – No. You look rather ch— Don’t move, stay where you are, put your hands over your head and lean against the wall. – Nor am I a contortionist. This month, it’s a queasy mixture of the Swinging Sixties and the Punching-People-in-the-Face Seventies, as Steed, Purdey and Gambit try to discover who is encouraging so many sweaty government security personnel to discotheque themselves to death, and why. It’s The New Avengers in Angels of Death. See the episode No luck finding this one for free online, but the Region 2 version of the DVD box set is still available on Amazon. (Amazon US) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll take you down the pub for a pint of beer. There are lots of pubs outside.

Then he’s blessed. I’m forever plucking stray hairs from my comb and brush. Positively demoralizing, but an inescapable part of the human condition. Hmm? Does any of this say anything to you Miss Holt? It does to me. It fairly shouts Remington Steele is an elaborate ruse. He does not exist. You invented him. This week, we answer the eternal question, “Why the hell are we watching this?” with a resounding “Dunno”, as we plumb the depths of Reagan-Era film-noir-lite with the first episode of the TV show that gave the world Pierce Brosnan — Remington Steele. See the episode You can watch the episode on DailyMotion, for the time being. Richard bought the whole season on Apple TV, for some reason. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll give you five years of top-quality TV work, even though you struggle to do a posh English accent convincingly.

– Oh well, sir, in that case, some of the credit must go to Drake here. I mean the men in the field. — Rubbish, the glamour boys always get all the credit. I hope you don’t mind my saying this, Drake. – On the contrary Mr. Ambassador, it is the man behind the desk who does all the planning, all the real thinking. We just carry out orders. This month, we’re off to Geneva to rescue the handsome Captain Munro from Spearhead from Space, who has been abducted and held captive in the Romanian Embassy by some people who are apparently doing the accent. It’s a jolly old heist, involving Patrick McGoohan, the lovely Jane Merrow, Mr Range from Frontios and, in the true spirit of the Kate O’Marathon, Kate O’Mara herself. For a few minutes. See the episode You can catch up with the episode on YouTube. In fact, huge numbers of Danger Man episodes are still there. But not all of them, for some reason. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll make you a lovely lunch — nothing fancy, just some smoked ham, sausage, cheese…

– You wouldn’t trust your mother, would you? – Her least of all. She used to spy for the Egyptians. This month, we resume last year’s abortive Kate O’Marathon with an episode of The Persuaders! from 1972, in which Tony Curtis and Roger Moore join forces to fail to recover a retired spy’s sensational memoirs, while Marla and Melania conceal a dark secret about their husband’s astonishing hairpiece. See the episode I couldn’t find The Persuaders! on streaming in Australia, but a beautifully remastered box set is available. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Of course, you can always just watch the episode on YouTube. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll write such lovely things about you in our memoirs that you’ll be really disappointed when Roger Moore and Tony Curtis eat them.

Oh, I discovered then, nothing beats a good lashing. (Mind your head.) Take India. You can have a good ten inches overnight there. You know, one should never fear being wet. This month, we commemorate the death of Sean Connery by revisiting the first nail in the coffin of his movie career, the 1998 film The Avengers, starring Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman as crude robot replicas of John Steed and Mrs Peel, who go up against the wet sporran of Connery’s single most villainous role, Sir August de Wynter — a man who selflessly tries to provide the population of Great Britain with something interesting to make small talk about. See the episode Despite all this, The Avengers is not a bad-looking film. You can almost certainly find it — or a completly different film of the same name — on one of your streaming services. And the DVD is sort of still available (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley , Brendan is @brandybongos , Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we promise not to eat the last macaroon.

– I’ve come here to appeal to you, Mister Cartney. – You certainly do that! This month, we all don our flattest Regency trousers and head underground for an evening of wrestling, wassailing and wenching to support the admirable cause of bringing down the British Government. And Peter Wyngarde is here too, looking as devilishly handsome as ever. It’s Part 2 of our Diana Rigg marathon: the 1966 Avengers episode A Touch of Brimstone. See the episode Of course, Series 4 of The Avengers is also available in a lavish Blu-ray box set. Which is how we watched it. Again. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley , Brendan is @brandybongos , Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll give you one of these expensive cigars that were given to us by that lovely Mr Kartovski.

– You’re not feeling the part, Mrs Peel. – I have a feeling I will be feeling it. This month, we celebrate the life of the late Dame Diana Rigg, who left us earlier this month. And we do this by watching one of the most beloved — and one of the most disliked — episodes of The Avengers. It’s Epic, in which Mrs Peel is kidnapped by three washed-up actors playing two washed-up actors and a washed-up director, who are awful enough to believe that it’s fun to watch Mrs Peel being repeatedly threatened with certain death. And, turns out, it is. See the episode Of course, Series 5 of The Avengers is also available in a lavish Blu-ray box set. Which is how we watched it. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley , Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll take you on a lovely country drive to see some horses and a picturesque vicar.

– You know the Chinese have a marvellous way of releasing tensions. Better than any tranquilliser. – Hm. – You just hold it, fondle it, stroke it. You’d be surprised how quickly the tensions drain away. This month, our Kate O’Marathon continues with an episode from the final series of The Avengers, in which Steed gets repeatedly punched in the face, while some hot O’Mara-on-Tara action takes place in the next room. See the episode Delightfully, Series 6 of The Avengers is available in a lavish Blu-ray box set. Which is how we watched it. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley , Brendan is @brandybongos , Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll take you with us on a lovely trip to Bermuda. Sometime in 2024, probably.

– Well, it’s going to be a lovely day. – Why not, it was a lousy night. Where were you? I left a message for you at midnight. – Chasing a bag of peanuts. This month, our Kate O’Marathon commences with a 1968 episode of The Champions, in which Miss O’Mara does some light shoplifting in the hope of scoring some deadly crack for the weekend, and the four of us team up to use our slightly racist superpowers to stop her. See the episode You can watch this for free on Dailymotion, or in French (inexplicably) on YouTube. The series is also available on iTunes and Amazon Prime Video (in some regions). Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley , Brendan is @brandybongos , Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood . You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast . We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on Apple Podcasts, we’ll use our psychic powers to help you escape from the hotel room they’ve got you locked up in so that you get the chance to score whatever stuff you need to get through the next agonising week.

– We shall be gone from here in a few hours. You back to your own country in triumph, me to the foothills of South America. They say there is gold there. – It didn’t do Humphrey Bogart much good. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Most people think Walter Huston directed it. It was John. This month, we head back to the gritty and hardbitten 1970s to check in on one of our favourite Bond girls, Joanna Lumley (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Bond Meets Black Emmanuelle), in the show that made her a household name, The New Avengers. See the episode It’s hard, but not completely impossible, to find this for free online. However, you can find a Region 2 version of the DVD box set on some versions of Amazon. (Amazon US) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll cook you an omelette with fines herbes so delicious that you’ll forget your lifelong obsession with gold and opt for a long, quiet and socially distanced life with your handsome French boyfriend.

– A journalist? I hope you haven’t come to write lies about us. – Well, that’s a difficult question, Colonel, because what is truth to me could be lies to you. This month, our guard of honour continues with an episode of Danger Man from 1960, in which the glorious Honor Blackman stars as the wife of a journalist falsely accused of espionage. Will the eponymous Patrick McGoohan be able to save him from the clutches of the opportunistic Colonel Rodriguez? And, more importantly, can he do it in less than 25 minutes? See the episode You can catch up with the episode on YouTube. In fact, huge numbers of Danger Man episodes have found their way there. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise never again to release a Bondfinger episode longer than twenty-five minutes.

– Well, well. The Saint, no less. I know a great deal about you. – I’m flattered. – Don’t be. I follow your exploits with extreme distaste. That article about you in The Times last Sunday was the most nauseating thing I’ve seen in print. – Tried reading your own columns? This month, our tribute to Honor Blackman continues as we revisit the earliest days of Rogertainment with the seventh episode of The Saint — The Arrow of God. A gossip columnist and blackmailer has been murdered, but who is the perpetrator? Richard, with his history of embezzlement? Peter, who can’t stop cheating at tennis? Nathan, with his dubious parentage? Or James, with his dark, bigamous past? See the episode You can catch up with the episode on Dailymotion for the time being. After that, you can buy it on Amazon Prime Video in the US, and as a DVD box set containing all the black and white episodes in the UK and in Australia. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, then some day, when we realise how much you care for us, we’ll reciprocate.

You didn’t really think you could take over this country with a few fanatics in fancy dress. This month, we celebrate the life of Honor Blackman, who died this week at the age of 94, by watching one of her early episodes as Cathy Gale in The Avengers. In this episode, The Mauritius Penny, Mr Steed and Mrs Gale team up to defeat a gang of murderous dentists and stamp collectors who plan to overthrow the British government and install a fascist dictatorship decades before that sort of thing became fashionable. See the episode In the US, you can buy episodes of Series 2 of The Avengers on Amazon Prime Video. In the UK, Amazon will let you import a Region 4 box set from Australia, oddly. While in Australia, it seems that Series 2 is impossible to buy. Baffling. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll find you a British Guiana 1856 four-cent black with four perfect margins. (Psych!)

Thank heaven for English theatre bars. We’ve had two acts of this play, complete suffering both onstage, and off. This month, we head back to the earliest days of Rogertainment with the very first episode of The Saint (1961), in which Roger Moore teams up with a future Bond girl, the glittering Shirley Eaton, to thwart a serial wife-killer who will one day control every computer in the galaxy. Or something. It’s all a bit confusing really. See the episode You can catch up with the episode on YouTube for the time being. After that, you can buy it on Amazon Prime Video in the US, and as a DVD box set containing all the black and white episodes in the UK and in Australia. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll buy you a pint from the barrel — warm, flat, nourishing and very British.

I don’t trust a man who makes toys in a land where children are forbidden. It’s Christmas, and to celebrate we’re heading back into James Bond territory by watching a film produced by Albert Broccoli, based on a novel by Ian Fleming and a screenplay by Roald Dahl. It’s like You Only Live Twice with a much nicer car, and we love it: it’s Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) It’s also available on iTunes and Google Play. Notes and links You can find some links and photos that we mention in this episode by going to its shownotes page. Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll marry both your father and his newfound wealth and we’ll all be happy and blond together for the rest of our lives.

I love you madly. I love the way the hair curls on the back of your neck. You’ll make a beautiful corpse. I’m going to do you the honour of letting you die superbly. This month, we’re watching The Prisoner (1967), more specifically its weird antepenultimate episode The Girl Who Was Death. So while Nathan puts the children to bed, James does some ball-tampering, Brendan drives around on the ceiling, and Richard enters a deadly alliance with the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. No, we don’t know what’s going on either. See the episode As usual, it’s temporarily possible to watch a version illegally uploaded to YouTube. But why not buy the entire series on Blu-ray? It’s strange and fascinating and the film transfer looks amazingly beautiful. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll tuck you in bed and read you a violent and upsettingly incomprehensible bedtime story.

– Oh, I’m sorry about the explosion. It doesn’t happen every day. – I don’t come every day. This month, we’re watching the camp 1966 spy-fi classic Modesty Blaise, starring a very attractive Italian lady, Dirk Bogarde and Bernice off Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. There’s diamond smuggling, spycraft and racist comedy Arabs, but it’s mostly all there to get in the way of the lovely location work in Amsterdam and Italy and the upsettingly psychedelic wallpaper. See the film No one seems to want this film on their streaming services or digital stores, for some reason, but you can still buy it on Blu-ray or DVD. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll consider rewatching this film until we undertand it enough to make up a funny and relevant promise to put in the show notes.

– Where do these guns keep coming from? – I get ’em wholesale. This month, we’re watching The Persuaders! Season 1 Episode 17, Five Miles to Midnight, in which TV’s Roger Moore and sometime lady saxophonist Tony Curtis team up with Joan Collins to smuggle some guy out of Italy, accompanied by a series of excellent jokes written by Terry Nation. And in the process, we answer the age-old question, “What did Tony Curtis call Joan Collins during the production that got her so annoyed?” Over and over again, I’m afraid. The upsetting Joan Collins interview to which Richard refers can be found here. See the episode Well, no one has taken down the illegal copies of this that are up on YouTube, so why not try watching it here. Otherwise — and this is the course of action we recommend — buy the Blu-ray box set of The Persuaders. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) Follow us! Nathan is on Twitter as @nathanbottomley, Brendan is @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll overlook that time you destroyed a hotel bar on the Côte d’Azur and send you on a series of groovy adventures instead.

– The Americans have put a tail on Palmer. – Have they? How very tiresome. This month, we head back in time to 1965. While James Bond is in the Bahamas enjoying some painfully slow underwater harpoon fights, Harry Palmer (Michael Caine) is having a much more prosaic time spying for the Ministry of Defence, trying to locate a kidnapped scientist. That is, until the psychedelia kicks in. The Ipcress File was produced by Bond producer Harry Salzman. The score was by our very own John Barry, and the production designer was our beloved Sir Ken Adam. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of The Ipcress File. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) It’s also available on iTunes and Google Play. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll have you over for dinner and cook you some delightful foreign muck with capsicums in it.

– Steed! I thought you were an old lady with a bale and knitting needles. – They do say I take after granny. This month, we go back to Richard and Brendan’s first love — 1960s spy-fi classic The Avengers. Brendan has taken up knitting, James is achieving better living through self-help books, Nathan is wondering why Graeme Garden left his computer here, and Richard is relaxing in a leotard and a giant birdcage. Watch out, everyone: it’s The Girl from Auntie. See the show? The Girl from Auntie is the 17th episode of Season 4 of The Avengers. It’s a bit hard to find now, to be honest, but the existing episodes have been released on boxed sets and can be found on your local version of Amazon. It can’t be watched online, alas. I’ve tried. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll knit you a lovely bungalow.

– All ready to get off a slick draw like that. – Oh, Mr. Simpkins, that was wonderful. I’m sure I’ll never get my drawers off as slickly as that. This month, Richard leads a bumbling troupe of trainee Secret Service agents on a mission to retrieve a top-secret chemical formula. But Brendan faints after his first martini, James keeps accidentally giving the formula to enemy agents, and Nathan is altogether too enthusiastic about disguising himself as a dancing girl. Which is why there’s nothing left for us to do but Carry on Spying. See the film Buy the DVD of Carry on Spying. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) It’s also available on YouTube, but you have to pay. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll try to remember that the secret STENCH base is located just under your house before we turn on the self-destruct.

Goodbye, James Bond. This is our last James Bond commentary podcast for now, as we finally catch up to the end of the series. Tell me is this where we give it all up? Well, probably not, I’m afraid. If you’re a fan of the action/spy genre, you’ll want to keep us in your podcatcher. We’ll be Bondfingering some classic spy films from here on in, and — who knows? — we might find an excuse to do yet another commentary on Casino Royale (1967)? See the film Buy the Blu-ray of SPECTRE. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Todd is @toddbeilby, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll tell those reporters that you’re absolutely not too old for us to date.

Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. It’s James Bond’s fiftieth anniversary, and so we’re celebrating by introducing him to Q and Moneypenny, casting doubt on his fitness for the job, shooting him in the chest, burning his house down, and killing his Mum. Take it away, Adele! See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Skyfall. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) (Amazon AU) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Todd is @toddbeilby, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll help you tidy up your ancestral seat in preparation for some long-awaited guests.

In 1991, MGM brought to the small screen a 65-episode series called James Bond Jr, in which James Bond’s nephew James teams up with a forgettable bunch of Saturday morning cartoon sidekicks to defend democracy against a forgettable array of Saturday morning cartoon villains. Or some shit. Stop hassling me. In 2017, Brendan, Nathan and James decided that it would be a good idea to watch an episode of that series and discuss it. And that discussion has languished for months in a forgotten corner of Dropbox. Until now. Don’t see the episode This week, we’re watching Goldie’s Gold Scam, Episode 48 of the series. You can watch it here. And if you hate yourself, and have nothing better to do for a solid 22 hours, you can watch the entire series on YouTube. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll never do another commentary on James Bond Jr again. We promise.

Hello. We’re teachers on sabbatical and we’ve just won the lottery. After two years of doing commentaries on various versions of Casino Royale, Brendan, Nathan and James spring back into action with a totally incomprehensible but mercifully short commentary on 2008’s Quantum of Solace. Our writers are on strike, so that’s all the show notes you get. So go and watch the alternative Quantum of Solace theme instead. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Quantum of Solace. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll cover ourselves in oil and surprise you in your hotel room.

– Vodka martini. – Shaken or stirred? – Do I look like I give a damn? Hello, and welcome back to Bondfinger, the only James Bond commentary podcast consisting entirely of commentaries on various versions of Casino Royale. This month, it’s Daniel Craig’s first outing as Jimmy Bond. Accompanied by sidekick Clarence Leiter (Jeffrey Wright) and love interest Eva Green (Ursula Andress), the American agent must defeat dangerous card shark Die Ziffer (Peter Lorre) in a psychedelic game of old maid that will take Jimmy to the very edges of sanity and beyond. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Casino Royale. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise finally give Casino Royale a rest, and do a series of increasingly unhinged commentaries on Die Another Day instead.

Good evening. This doesn’t look dangerous, does it? But it’s killed plenty of men and women. It’s made beggars of many and millionaires of a few, mighty few. We’re finally back, and we’re taking a break from either recording commentaries on the David Niven Casino Royale or simply not podcasting at all, in order to release a commentary on the first ever appearance of James Bond on screen: a live television adaptation of Casino Royale, first broadcast on American television in 1954. See the film It’s just possible that you don’t have a DVD version of this in your collection, so you can watch it along with us in this version which has been released on YouTube. (Illegally, probably.) Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to do yet another commentary on Casino Royale literally every day for the rest of our lives.

It’s depressing that the words “secret agent” have become synonymous with “sex maniac”. In this Very Special Holiday Episode, we right one of the greatest wrongs in the history of the Bondfinger franchise — Richard’s exclusion from our commentary on Casino Royale (1967), which is a film that Richard knows and loves and a film about which has many hilarious and insightful things to say. So drop a tab of acid (no, no, don’t), throw away your script, wave goodbye to your leading man, and cast your mind back to 1967, or at least to Bondfinger Episode 6. It’s time for us to revisit David Niven and basically everyone else in Casino Royale. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Casino Royale. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to do another commentary on Casino Royale literally every day for the rest of our lives.

— I see you handle your weapon well. — I have been known to keep my tip up. This month, special guest star Todd Beilby joins us as we huddle together for warmth in the melting ice hotel that is Die Another Day. Todd’s brandishing a hell of a rapier, Brendan’s fighting Richard for the microphone, Nathan is completely computer generated, and James is shaking his head in disbelief at Basil Fawlty’s invisible car. Way to kill the franchise, Brosnan! See the film Die Another Day is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone, James is @ohjamessellwood, and Todd is @toddbeilby. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll get you some tweezers and help you to pick those diamonds out of your face. There’s no real need for those to stay there, you know.

– I don’t know. But the world’s greatest terrorist running around with six kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can’t be good. I have to get it back, or somebody’s gonna have my ass. – First things first. After a series of violent and expensive elocution lessons, Robert Carlyle returns to the big screen as the villainous Renard, whose terrifying plans to destroy Istanbul nearly inspire Pierce Brosnan to attempt his first facial expression in his role as Bond. Oh, and Mummy gets tied to a bomb or something. See the film The World Is Not Enough is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll put you in touch with Goldie’s orthodontist. Trust us, you won’t be sorry.

– You were pretty good with that hook. – Thanks. It comes from growing up in a rough neighbourhood. You were pretty good with the bike. – Thank you. It comes from not growing up at all. We’re straight on to Pierce’s second film, in which he teams up with Nathan’s cousin-in-law to defeat a villain who is in equal parts Ted Turner, Rupert Murdoch and that guy who played the Master in Doctor Who that one time. It’s like a bunch of previous Bond films rolled in to one violently stirred vodka martini, really. See the film Tomorrow Never Dies is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we won’t release the video of you with the cheerleader and the quarterback in the Chicago motel room. Unless you want us to, of course.

– Good morning, Mr Bond, sit. I’m Defense Minister Dimitri Mishkin. So, by what means shall we execute you, Commander Bond? – What, no small talk? No chit chat? That’s the trouble with the world today. No one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore. It’s a lost art. This month, the entire franchise is retooled and the lead has been recast from the menswear department from Grace Brothers, but somehow we all manage to find these facts less compelling than the recent and terribly upsetting death of Sir Roger Moore. Cheerio, darling! See the film GoldenEye is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to devote at least half an hour to each of our remaining commentaries to eulogising the wonderful Sir Roger Moore. (Actually, I think we’re planning to do that anyway.)

When it gets up to your ankles, you’re going to beg to tell me everything. When it gets up to your knees, you’ll kiss my ass to kill you. This week, we’re still as dark and edgy as ever, but instead of commenting on a fun and witty espionage thriller, we’re consumed by a thirst for revenge, like so many tiresome action heroes of the 1990s. There’s also some stuff about cocaine mixed with petrol, which comes with so many warnings from the Surgeon General that you can barely fit them on the side of an oil tanker. See the film Licence to Kill is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll really give you a nice honeymoon. A proper romantic one, with flowers and martinis and things.

Why didn’t you learn the violin? We’re back after a two-year break, and somehow we’re darker, sexier, edgier, and a whole lot more Welsh. Brendan’s hot and bothered, James is seeking other podcasting opportunities, and Nathan is weirdly obsessed with the Dalton hair. He’s probably just jealous. See the film The Living Daylights is available for purchase on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) You can also get it on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise we won’t punch Robert Brown in the face until at least the next film.

– Welcome sir, I’m Jenny Flex. – Of course you are. Well, it’s our last ever Rodgecast, and we couldn’t be more upset to see him go. (Although he only appears in this film for about five minutes: in most scenes he is played by one of a team of about three dozen stuntmen.) To console ourselves, we share a few bottles of bubbles, while we discuss flirting grandparents, pranking Roger in bed, the absence of Ken Adam, the worst actors to play Bond villains, the curse of Goldfinger, and the terrible disappointment of a flaccid zeppelin. See the film If you can tolerate buying yet another plastic disc, you can buy A View to a Kill on Blu-ray. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll think twice before breaking your precious Ming vase over an intruder’s head.

– Good to see you Mr Bond. Things’ve been awfully dull round here. Bureaucrats running the whole place. Everything done by the book. Can’t make a decision unless the computer gives you the go ahead. Now you’re on this. I hope we’re going to have some gratuitous sex and violence! – I certainly hope so too. For legal reasons, this month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James have decided to do a remake of Bondfinger Episode 4, with much more exciting lighting and production design and a much less coherent script. But all is not lost. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Max von Sydow, Rowan Atkinson and Pamela Salem to the world of Bond, and Never Say Never Again. See the film The Blu-ray of Never Say Never Again is ridiculously expensive in the US, and comparatively cheap in post-Brexit Britain. But, honestly, don’t bother. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll somehow manage to fill that beaker you’re holding from here. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds Brendan’s currently on a secret mission to undermine the government of a tiny South Pacific nation, and so he’s been unable to create a new episode of Doctor Who in Ten Seconds. But if you’d like to see him summarise his way through Doctor Who’s first seven seasons, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

– Is he still there? – You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won’t see him till dawn! This month, we’re throwing political correctness to the winds, and trying out every conceivable Indian stereotype. Brendan is sleeping on a bed of nails, Nathan is swallowing swords, Richard is charming snakes, and (strangely) James is dressing as Agnetha from the music video of SOS. It’s the second best Bond film of 1983 (or is it?). Welcome to Octopussy. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Octopussy. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to give you enough cash to keep you in curry for a few weeks. (This promise should not be regarded as in any way legally binding.) Doctor Who in Ten Seconds We never mention Doctor Who on Bondfinger, of course, so you have probably never even heard of it. But if you have, you will certainly enjoy Brendan’s video series Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he summarises each Doctor Who story from the 1960s and 1970s in no more than 10 seconds. To watch the series, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

– Mr. Bond! We can do a deal! I’ll buy you a delicatessen in stainless steel! Please! – Alright, keep your hair on! – Put me down! Put me down! – Oh, you want to get off? This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James decide to rein it all back in — we’re dumping into a chimney the whole idea of taking over the world, and instead we’ll just do a whole lot of skiing, rock-climbing and wrangling over a eighties-era electronic calculators. Oh, and punching Lynn-Holly Johnson in the face. For Your Eyes Only-y-y! See the film Buy the Blu-ray of For Your Eyes Only. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. Feel free to tweet at James with your podcast suggestions. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll totally award you a gold medal for breath control. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds Since our last Bondfinger, Brendan has been hard at work on Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, which now covers the 1960s and the first season of the 1970s. To see Brigade Leader Brendan gurn his way through the first seven years of Doctor Who, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

Mr Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you. This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James watch the widely reviled 1979 classic Moonraker, and to their absolute delight, they discover that it’s actually really good. Of course, they also criticise some terrible kerning, wince at the series’ most upsetting death, and wonder if Drax’s guards can actually hear anything under all that. Oh, and Brendan sings Joe Cornish’s proposed theme for Quantum of Solace. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Moonraker. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we will completely overlook that regrettable incident in Egypt where you bit out the throat of beloved English actor Nadim Sawalha. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds Since our last Bondfinger, Brendan has been hard at work on Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, which now covers the entirety of the 1960s. To catch Brendan’s uniquely sweet and sardonic take on Doctor Who, or just to see him clad in skin-tight glittery spandex, just visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

– Oh, by the way, thanks for deserting me back there. – Every woman for herself, remember? – Still, you did save my life. – We all make mistakes, Mr. Bond. After a couple of fairly lacklustre films, the James Bond franchise roars back to life in the seminal Bond film of the 1970s: The Spy Who Loved Me. So, among the crude double entendres and Doctor Who references, there’s a lot of admiration here: the frocks, Jaws, Barbara Bach’s fabulous breasts, Bernard Lee’s fabulous nose, and the biggest set in the biggest sound stage in human history. As always, Bondfinger isn’t really safe for work. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of The Spy Who Loved Me. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise to always keep the British end up, sir. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds On Bondfinger, we make it a strict rule to never mention Doctor Who, of course. But just this once, let’s make an exception. Brendan has just uploaded the latest episode of Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he deftly summarises every story in Doctor Who’s Season 4. Trust us, you’ll love it. And for more delightful Doctor Who–summarising whimsy, you can visit the webpage or subscribe on YouTube.

– Good morning. How’s the water? – Why don’t you come in and find out? – Sounds very tempting, Miss, er… – Chew Mee. – Really? There’s only one problem. I have no swimming trunks. – Neither have I. This month, Brendan, Richard and James shred to pieces one of Nathan’s favourite Bond films, The Man with the Golden Gun. On the way, we discuss the casting couch, Roger’s reluctance to learn the choreography, the inscrutable geography of Asia and the need for every Bond stunt from here on in to be performed to the sound of a slide whistle. The Q and A with Sarah Douglas, star of Superman II, is at the Hayden Orpheum in Sydney’s Cremorne, on 9 October 2016. See you there, perhaps. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of The Man with the Golden Gun. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds Yes, I know we’re not talking about Doctor Who, but fans of Brendan Jones will enjoy Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he summarises every Doctor Who story in no more than ten seconds. You can find it here. It’s terribly, terribly sweet. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes or the Google Podcast Directory, we’ll actually say some nice things about next month’s Bond film.

– There are two ways to disable an alligator, Mr Bond. – I don’t suppose you’d care to share that information with me? – One way is to take a pencil and stick it in the pressure point above its eye. – And the other way? – Oh, the other way is twice as simple. Just stick your hand in its mouth and pull out all its teeth. This month, Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James watch the first of Roger Moore’s seven Bond films: Live and Let Die. We cringe at the racism, admire Tee Hee’s positive approach to his work and enjoy Roger Moore’s best hair ever. As always, Bondfinger is not safe for work. And the opinions expressed in this podcast have no legal standing or cultural validity. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Live and Let Die. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Doctor Who in Ten Seconds If, like all reasonable people, you are baffled and slightly repelled by all our references to Doctor Who, then we have the solution. Brendan has launched a video series called Doctor Who in Ten Seconds, in which he summarises every Doctor Who story in no more than ten seconds. You can find it here. It’s a hoot, apparently. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you enjoyed our commentary (you know you did, you know you did), then please rate or review us on iTunes, or even Google Music. (Sure, why not?)

– I’m Bambi. – And I’m Thumper. Is there something we can do for you? – I can think of several things, off hand… Brendan, Nathan, Richard and James have each been paid £1.25 million to appear in this episode of Bondfinger, which means that we have no money left to pay Ken Adam, John Barry or any of the makeup girls. Sorry about that. As always, Bondfinger is not safe for work. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Diamonds Are Forever. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, when love’s gone, we’ll lustre on. If that’s actually a verb.

— I find her fascinating. But, she needs a psychiatrist, not me. — What she needs is a man… to dominate her! To make love to her enough to make her love him! A man like you! Sean Connery’s gone, never to return (never!), and so we find ourselves with a long-running film franchise starring Australian heartthrob George Lazenby and his amazing seven-film contract. What could possibly go wrong? In the meantime, we discuss overworked foley artists, Diana Rigg’s fabulous breasts (repeatedly) and Richard’s prepubescent frisson encountering a shirtless Lazenby at a 1970s dinner party. All while continually preventing James from making endless Doctor Who references. Oh, James. Here’s the exchange of open letters between Diana Rigg and George Lazenby, apparently published in the Daily Mirror in 1970. You should immediately follow George Lazenby on Twitter. He’s crazily fabulous. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll give you the name of our oculist.

It’s vaporized lysergic acid: it’s highly explosive! What the hell just happened? After a two-month mission infiltrating a volcano in Japan, Brendan, Nathan and James return to face their most puzzling mission yet: the inexplicable and sporadically entertaining dumpster fire that is the 1967 film Casino Royale. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Casino Royale. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, you’ll be in the running to win the grand prize of starring in your very own incomprehensibly disjointed dance sequence in a Buddhist temple, or a big green thumbprint or, who knows, the Wild West or something, directed by some guy we met on the street just now, for the upcoming Bondfinger Productions movie Never Say Never Again, starring Ben Stiller as Sir Daniel Craig and Richard L Stone as Fatima Blush.

– Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls? – You think we better, huh? – No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar, but I love them both. – Darling, I give you very best duck. Brendan, Richard, Nathan and James have been surgically altered to look like Romulans and sent off to the embarrassingly exotic Orient to confront the hideous Doctor Evil. On the way, they discuss Danger 5, stirring your martini, landing helicopters in the studio, pig-faced girls, orientalism, sexism, and dozens of potential future podcast projects. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of You Only Live Twice. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we promise never to come first (ew!).

But of course! I forgot your ego, Mr Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents and immediately returns to the side of right and virtue. But not this one. In this episode, Brendan, Nathan and James head off to the irrigation therapy room to watch Thunderball. On the way, we tell you how to set off a nuclear bomb, try and pronounce the name Llewellyn, speculate about sexy grandfathers and watch carefully-trained sharks being brutally slaughtered. You can read the Incredible Suit’s review of Thunderball here. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Thunderball. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll throw in a mink glove to reduce the tension (no we won’t).

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die! This month, Brendan, Nathan and James watch and comment on one of the all-time Bond classics: Goldfinger. On the way, we find ourselves discussing golfing without underwear, the joys of bourbon, exposition pool tables and, of course, Little James himself. Over and over again. Roger Moore plays James Bond in this comedy sketch from 1964. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Goldfinger. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll tell the stewardess liquor for three.

Siamese Fighting Fish. Fascinating creatures. Brave, but on the whole, stupid. Yes, they’re stupid… except for the occasional one such as we have here, who waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted that he cannot defend himself. And then, like SPECTRE, he strikes. In our second commentary track, Richard, Brendan, Sutekh the cat and James (oh, James!) hop on board the Orient Express (probably), where they fight over Robert Shaw, obsess inexplicably over Daniella Bianchi, and tell you everything you never wanted to know about Sean Connery’s increasingly unconvincing series of toupées. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of From Russia With Love. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Richard is @RichardLStone and James is @ohjamessellwood. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at bondfinger.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll make love to you all the time in England. No, really.

– I admire your courage, Miss — ? – Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck, Mr — ? – Bond. James Bond. Welcome to the first episode of our new podcast, Bondfinger. In this episode, Brendan, Richard, Nathan and James watch and discuss the first proper Bond film: Dr No (1962), starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress and John Kitzmiller. Bondfinger is a commentary podcast, so it’s best watched alongside the film itself. Just press play when Brendan says now. Of course, you can also watch it on its own — on a boat at night heading out to the mysterious Crab Key, or while showering on a conveyor belt with Ursula Andress. Bondfinger may contain drug and sex references, colourful idioms, adult themes, and artistically valid nudity. It’s hard for us to remember after the fourth Vesper martini. See the film Buy the Blu-ray of Dr. No. (Amazon US) (Amazon UK) It’s also available on iTunes, Google Play and Amazon Instant Video. Follow us! Brendan is on Twitter as @brandybongos, Nathan is @nathanbottomley, James is @ohjamessellwood, and Richard’s Twitter account was last seen tumbling down a cliff in a hearse and exploding for no reason. You can follow the podcast on Twitter as @Bondfingercast. We’re also on Facebook, and you can check out our website at flightthroughentirety.com. And if you rate or review us on iTunes, we’ll slap on some unconvincing eye makeup and cook you some lovely Chinese food. No strings attached. Promise.