Lauren sits down with artist Boy Jr. (they/them) to talk relationships, gender, and their upcoming album "I Love Getting Dumped." Shortly after graduating, Boy Jr. (who describes their gender identity as "a non-binary unknowable entity who lives in your walls") was very interested in getting top surgery and starting testosterone. However, as they began to embark on their music career, they got the distinct sense that their success as an artist "hinged on being as desirable as possible to as large a pool of people as possible." As a result, they put gender on the backburner and leaned heavily into their femme identity. But if there's one thing we know about queerness, it's that you can't suppress it forever! Boy Jr. shares how much more authentic they feel now that they're "making decisions based on comfort instead of...desire to feel desirable." Plus, we discuss their deep foundational love for Joe Jonas, and the etiquette around giving your exes a li'l heads up when you're releasing breakup songs about them.Follow Boy Jr. on Instagram at @boyjrofficial, on TikTok at @boyjr.69, and on Twitter at @BoyJrMusic. You can also find them as "Boy Jr." on YouTube, Patreon, Fiverr, and alllll the music platforms. Last but not least, check out their Linktree at linktr.ee/boyjr, and look for the release of "I Love Getting Dumped" at the end of October!

Tahitia Timmons' parents were hippies, and so Tahitia had been around queer people since childhood. But when she came out to her mother as a teenager, Tahitia was shocked - and angry - to be met with the response "Why would you choose to be gay when you're already Black and a woman?" Tahitia shares how it wasn't until years later when one of her own children came out to her that she finally gained a real understanding of (and compassion for) her mother's fear-based response. We have a fascinating conversation that runs the gamut from asexuality to the evolution of lesbian stereotypes to that first queer heartbreak that just GUTS you. Plus, Tahitia explains how her company, Conscious By Us, tackles DEI specifically from a health (especially mental health) and wellness perspective.There are a ton of places where you can find Tahitia! Check out her website, consciousbyus.com, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Instagram at @consciousbyus. Also, check out all the folks she shouts out at the end of the episode!

New episode coming at you next week, but first: it's time for another Lez Hang Out POD SWAP! Countless Coming Out Pod guests have talked about how stumbling upon the now-infamous Lesbian Masterdoc figured into their coming out stories. In this episode, Leigh and Ellie take a deep dive into the doc itself!Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that googled “Am I Gay” before it was cool.This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out to talk about one of the most controversial and widely read pieces of modern lesbian “literature” on the internet, the Lesbian Masterdoc. The 31-page document titled “Am I a lesbian?” first appeared in 2018 and experienced a rather large resurgence during the pandemic shutdowns of 2020 (when people actually had enough time to read a 31-page document).For those of you who somehow managed to avoid reading the Masterdoc, it is essentially every “Am I gay” quiz from 2002 onward condensed into a 31-page pdf. The main issues that we have with the Masterdoc are that it greatly oversimplifies the experience of compulsory heterosexuality, completely ignores all nuance involved with sexuality (to an almost comical degree), and uses exclusionary language when the doc absolutely can apply to anyone who experiences attraction to women. It also somewhat reads like an attempt by the writer to get her straight best friend to sleep with her. However, we still want to give some props for the Masterdoc being very purposefully inclusive of trans and nonbinary lesbians and at the very least not giving off terfy vibes.Even though the Masterdoc should certainly be taken with many grains of salt, some of the experiences listed really hit home (a little too hard if you ask Leigh). We’ve said it before, but comp het is a doozy! We dive into our own experiences with navigating comp het back in our ‘straight’ days and lament about why straight women have to speak so negatively about their male partners all the time (be less confusing, straight women!). If you are looking for a fun activity to bust out at your next shindig, we absolutely recommend pulling out this bad boi (fun for the whole family!) and seeing how many of your straight friends get clocked by the Masterdoc.Follow us on Twitter: Lez Hang Out (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay questions at the end of every episode. You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and follow on Instagram (@lezhangoutpod). Find us individually on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida).

Writer Elliott Maya (they/them, and "a sprinkle of he/him in, like, a fruity Victorian dandy boy way") has a real way with words, in case you couldn't tell from that parenthetical. Raised in the *extremely* strict Jehovah's Witnesses religion, Lio and their brother were also the only Black kids at their school. As if this weren't enough, Lio started going through puberty quite early, which coincided with them realizing that they were "not like the other girls, in many ways." Lio knew that college was their only chance of escape, so they started working at the age of twelve. Along the way, they attempted to hide their queerness in high school by becoming a gay bully...but in an ironic twist, they ended up becoming "horrifically" attracted to their (also queer) victim. Besides being an absolutely HILARIOUS storyteller, Lio also has Long Covid, and started the group Covid Cautious Queers. We spend the latter half of the episode talking about the ways in which Lio's illness has changed their life, and the (easy!) ways you can help not only them, but everyone in your community.First thing's first: follow Lio on Instagram at @bougiebasquiat, and please please please see their bio for links to their GoFundMe, their Health Hub, and their Ko-fi! You can also follow them on TikTok at @transnaruto, and check out their *gorgeous* website at elliottmaya.com. Last but not least, follow @covidcautiousqueers on Instagram, especially if you're in Southern California. It's Pride Month, y'all - let's be there for Lio!!

OH, HELLO, EVERYBODY! The pod is coming out (wink!) of hiatus for Pride Month, and we're kicking things off in a big way with Nashville singer/activist Heather Mae! Heather recently dropped her new single "Kissing Girls," which is not only a "super-queer bisexual Pride mega pop song" but also serves as a reclaiming of her own coming out story. Mercilessly bullied for her weight throughout childhood, Heather's only solace used to be the music videos she would run home to watch every day after school. But when she started attending Sunday school in the fourth grade...the bullying stopped. As a result, Heather became deeply invested in both the Church and the purity movement, and although all of her early kisses and pseudo-relationships were with girls, she truly never believed that they "counted." Heather shares how isolating with her partners during lockdown and re-examining those early experiences (not to mention learning about comp het for the first time!) made her want to write a song that captured "the sonic embodiment of queer joy and liberation." It's a beautiful, celebratory episode and the perfect way to start off Pride!Follow Heather on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @heathermaemusic, and check out her website at heathermae.net and her YouTube channel at youtube.com/heathermae, where you can watch the official music video for "Kissing Girls." "Kissing Girls" is streaming everywhere, so go listen and add it to your Pride playlists!

Lauren couldn't put the podcast on hiatus without doing one of her favorite kinds of episodes: namely, a REDUX! When producer and writer Jenn Lee (formerly Jenn Lee Smith) was first on the pod in July of 2022, she was celebrating the publication of a book she had co-edited called "I Spoke to You with Silence: Essays from Queer Mormons of Marginalized Genders." Jenn herself was raised in the Mormon religion, and despite having come out in 2008, she had chosen to remain in a monogamous marriage with her husband of twenty-one years, with whom she shares three children. Suffice to say that a lot has changed for Jenn since the summer of 2022. She explains how the book tour for "I Spoke to You with Silence" kicked off a chain of events, and shares how her love for her children has only deepened now that she is finally living as her whole self ("I have been able to love them so much more since feeling right in my own body and skin"). Plus, Jenn describes her experiences on the dating apps as a "little post-Mormon gayby," and Lauren asks Jenn a question that she's been mulling over ever since the day they first met...Connect with Jenn on Facebook at facebook.com/jennlee.smith2, and follow her on Instagram at @bewilderfilm. Also, check out her upcoming documentary at homecourtfilm.com and on Insta at @homecourtfilm!

Pop-punk/alt-rock artist Chloe Star is so obviously comfortable in her own skin that you would never know she struggled fiercely with her sexuality throughout her adolescence. Chloe's mother is Native American, and so Chloe grew up going back and forth between the radically different worlds of Los Angeles and her family's reservation. Some of Chloe's stories from this time are deeply relatable (such as Googling "am i gay quiz" and secretly having a huge crush on Kristen Stewart while all of her friends were Team Edward/Team Jacob), but she was also grappling with more than her share of darkness. This culminated in Chloe being sent to an incredibly intense three-month wilderness treatment program at the age of sixteen; her mother's last-ditch attempt to free Chloe from addiction. Chloe's upcoming single, "Wasted Youth," is all about that experience, which she finally feels a sense of closure on a full decade later. We have a funny, vulnerable conversation about first loves, coming out at diners, songs about exes, and much more!As of this Friday, March 22nd, you can stream "Wasted Youth" everywhere! Also follow Chloe on Instagram and TikTok at @frenchtoastkiller, and watch the videos for "Fool," "Found My Peace," and "Happy Place" on Chloe's YouTube channel, youtube.com/@frenchtoastkiller!

Lauren gives a transparent, hilarious, and WAY the f@#k too long explanation of why she is putting the podcast on hiatus at the end of March!Info and resources mentioned:- The pod's website is comingoutpod.com. That's where you'll find a link to search episodes by keyword, as well as multiple resources on the "Resources" page (including the virtual queer community Google doc and "Lauren’s List of Lighthearted LGBTQ+ Stuff with Positive Queer Portrayals!" media list).- Other queer, female-helmed podcasts that Lauren recommends include Bad Queers, Two Dykes And A Mic, and Lez Hang Out.- Last but not least, the pod's AMAZING engineer/editor Averie Severs can be found on Instagram at @averie_severs!And stay tuned for two more new episodes on March 20th and 27th...

Author and librettist Leah Lax ("Not From Here: The Song of America") shares a series of incredible stories in a truly one-of-a-kind episode of the podcast! Leah grew up as a Jewish genderqueer lesbian in Northern Texas, and struggled with the fact that she didn't understand how to "be a woman" in the intuitive way that all of her (straight) friends seemed to. So when she was approached by members of the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic community at the age of sixteen, Leah felt "like somebody handed me a bulleted list. And all I had to do was follow it, and...I wasn't marginal anymore at all. I was completely accepted." Leah was matched with a man at eighteen; she had seven children in a ten-year period and spent thirty years with the Hasidim. Leah shares what ultimately made her leave the only community she had ever known, and explains the unlikely path that led to her writing down the life stories of over a hundred American immigrants for a new opera! It's a truly beautiful episode, and a reminder of why, to quote Leah, "we all need to be dangerous.""Not From Here: The Song of America" comes out on March 28th! To find out all about it (as well as Leah's memoir "Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home"), go to leahlaxauthor.com. And don't forget to preorder on Amazon! You can also follow Leah on Instagram at @LeahLax120, and on Facebook at @LeahLaxAuthor. Lastly, check out therefugemusic.com to hear snippets from Leah's opera!

Arohi Kumar has been a HERstories participant for the past several years, and in that time, Lauren has seen her confidence and happiness grow exponentially! Arohi (whose identifiers include transfemme, poly, and "bi enough") is a child of Indian immigrants, and the prevalence of male/female separation when she was growing up led to her feeling ostracized on both ends. When it came to attraction, Arohi knew she was attracted to girls, but describes the experience as wanting to be "attracted to girls in the way lesbians are attracted to girls, which is like a very specific, different thing." We debate gender roles vs. gender, and muse on why so many people (including Arohi!) came to terms with their queerness during lockdown. Plus, we talk anxiety, dissociative identity disorder, and OCD...but in a fun, quirky way, like the fun, quirky girls we are!(TW: discussion of suicidal ideation in childhood, but nothing descriptive)Speaking of fun and quirky, Arohi made a fun, quirky board game! It's called Grad Rush, and you can check it out at grad-rush.com.

Lauren has a genuinely hilarious conversation with comedian and podcaster, Carmen Lagala, who spills all the details of her recent coming out story! Carmen grew up in Vermont, which is arguably one of the very best states to be a queer woman (hiking; leftists; liberal arts colleges; you get it). Carmen was so sure that she *wasn't* queer, however, that when a lesbian rumor spread during her freshman year of high school, she actually came out to her family as straight. Carmen, who now identifies as pansexual, describes having "teenage boy levels" of horniness as an adolescent, while simultaneously carrying a deep shame about sex in general, and masturbation in particular. She discusses how being in back-to-back relationships with men led to her feeling like her sexual attraction to women somehow didn't count, and how coming out on stage actually helped her get past that ("it legitimized it to me as soon as people laughed at what I was saying"). Also, Carmen shares her high school obsession with G.I. Jane, and Lauren tells a story about Michelle Rodriguez that she probably shouldn't!Follow Carmen on Instagram at @carmstagrams and on Twitter at @CarmenLagala, and subscribe to her YouTube channel at youtube.com/@carmenlagalacomedy! Also check out her comedy OnlyFans, and listen to In Cahoots w/ Corey & Carmen wherever you get your podcasts!

When 23-year-old grad student Maddy Kling asked if she could interview Lauren for her project on coming out stories, Lauren jumped at the chance to sit on the other side of the mic! But not only that; the work Maddy was doing sounded so fascinating that Lauren asked if she would come on the podcast to discuss it! Maddy is getting her master's in Dance/Movement Therapy, and her project explores how DMT can help the queer community "by allowing them to tell their coming out stories through dance and movement." Maddy identifies as both bisexual and demisexual, and regarding her own journey, she says that "the most comfortable space I felt being out was dance." Maddy describes the relief she experienced when she finally discovered the demisexual label, and also shares how she lived the bi dream of coming out in a Vans store! Now THAT'S how you embrace a stereotype!Learn more about Dance/Movement Therapy at adta.memberclicks.net/what-is-dancemovement-therapy.

It's Valentine's Day, and the pod is serving up a hot 'n spicy episode with educatrix, writer, and former AVN-nominated director, Tina Horn! Regarding her sexuality, Tina says "as soon as I knew that I had a crush on Fox Mulder, I knew I had a crush on Dana Scully." Unfortunately, she was growing up in a small, homophobic town in Northern California, and so the majority of her early sexual partners were restricted to cis men. Tina categorizes those early experiences as "all right," but even as an adolescent, she was already aware of a fundamental truth: "I knew that I really liked sex, and I wanted to do it all the time, and I wanted more variety and, like, different kinds of sex." Tina discusses becoming a sex worker at a time when the Bay Area had a thriving queer and feminist porn scene, and explains why it is so important for her to be out as such, even though her time in the sex industry has "waxed and waned over the years." We also talk about Tina's comic series, "Deprog" (which features a hardboiled leatherdyke detective and a genderqueer femme fatale!), and her upcoming book of fetish cultural criticism, "Why Are People Into That?" based on her long-running podcast of the same name. All this, plus Lauren gives a special Queer Root Shout-Out (TM) to the most sapphic music video of ALL TIME!Go to tinahorn.net to find out where you can pre-order both "Deprog" and "Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink" (and while you're there, sign up for Tina's newsletter as well!). Also follow Tina on Twitter and Instagram at @tinahornsass, and check out her podcast "Why Are People Into That?!" on all the usual platforms!

LGBTQ-affirming therapist Chris Tompkins clearly remembers knowing by the age of six that he was gay. So when he was told that his six-year-old nephew was "not old enough" to understand that he had a gay uncle, it started Chris down a path that ultimately led to him a writing a book titled "Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground." Chris describes how his religious upbringing made him genuinely believe that if he put all his energy into becoming "the best Christian," he could eventually make himself straight (spoiler alert: he couldn't). A natural storyteller, Chris details several close calls he had during his study abroad in Italy ("I feel like I was trying to come out"), and shares the beautiful story of how he eventually met his first boyfriend through a series of random-but-fateful events. Plus, Chris's record-breaking tour where he came out to a whopping seven family members during a single visit home!Follow Chris on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at @aroadtriptolove, and check out his website, aroadtriptolove.com, for info on his book, his work, and much more!

The pod welcomes its first ever Singaporean guest, Tania De Rozario, whose memoir "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out next week! At the time that Tania was growing up in Singapore, positive representations of queer people were literally illegal on public television. Since this was long before streaming platforms and the prevalence of the internet, this meant that all of Tania's childhood teachings about "homosexuality" came from her Evangelical-convert mother. Things culminated in Tania being subjected to a gay exorcism (or as it was called at the time, a "casting out") when she was just twelve years old. Tania, who now lives in Vancouver, shares this and other stories from her past with a good deal of perspective, and an admirable amount of levity. Plus, we discuss how the horror genre is intrinsically linked with queerness, which is a real bummer if you hypothetically can't watch scary movies because they give you nightmares HYPOTHETICALLY.Follow Tania on Instagram at @_tania.de.rozario_ (make note of all the underscores and periods!) and at @TaniaDeRozario on Twitter. "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out February 6th; find out where to pre-order/purchase it at linktr.ee/TaniaDeRozario, but also check your local bookstores!

Lauren gets into it with comedian Andie Main, who just released her aptly titled comedy album, "Rocky Mountain Bi!" Andie grew up in Portland's artsy district, and identifies as "classic '90s bi." She reveals the various cartoon characters who helped her realize her sexuality, discusses her adolescent passions ("I was a horse girl, and then I was a boob girl"), and details the path that led her to who she is today ("a divorced, 43-year-old bisexual woman who had dreams of Alanis Morissette as an early child"). Andie also describes the challenges of dating couples, and - brace yourself - because we talk a little bit of smack about astrology SORRY!!! Also, a word of warning to the person who left the podcast a three-star review on iTunes titled "Would love this if it weren't for the foul language": you should probably skip this episode.Follow Andie on Instagram at @andiemain, and listen to "Rocky Mountain Bi" (as well as Andie's first album, "Magpie") on all streaming platforms. Also, check out Andie's new podcast, "Recovering with Andie Main," wherever you get your pods!

Multidisciplinary author and artist Julie Delporte (they/she) was born in a village in the French countryside, and describes herself as "someone who is late in life." One of the ways in which this manifested was that Julie did not realize she was a lesbian until the age of thirty-five, which, as she says, "is not so old, but it felt so old." In her newly released graphic novel, "Portrait of a Body," Julie traces the arc of her coming out story through both text and illustrations, and the result is beautiful and moving. Julie speaks candidly about the conflict she felt between her need to explore her sexuality and her fear of potentially hurting someone in the process, and we have a vulnerable conversation about why we sometimes feel like we're "not sexual enough" as lesbians. Also, Julie tells an incredibly relatable story about how sometimes the slightest glimpse of a friend's shoulder can clarify everything...Follow Julie on Instagram at @juliedelporte_, and buy her GORGEOUS book "Portrait of a Body" at https://drawnandquarterly.com/books/portrait-of-a-body/, or wherever gorgeous books are sold!

Writer and filmmaker Sara Mossman grew up in Baltimore in the midst of a family dynamic that consisted of "a lot of dysfunction, a lot of chaos, a lot of people in the mix" (Sara is one of SIX children!). All of this led to her becoming emancipated from her family just before she turned fourteen...riiiiiight on the heels of also figuring out that she was gay. Suffice to say that Sara did not have an easy adolescence, but the saving grace came when she was accepted into a predominantly-female, VERY queer arts school for her high school years! Sara shares how generational trauma has shaped her journey, but hasn't prevented her from having a great deal of empathy for her mother (whose own mother was a child bride from the Philippines). Also, the wild tale of how Sara was assisted in her hardest coming out by none other than Mister Rogers! Talk about "It's a beautiful day in the GAYborhood!!!" (Sorry; I had to.) Check out Sara's website (saramossman.com) and YouTube channel (youtube.com/c/underaneonsky), and follow her on Twitter at @SMossman. You can also purchase her novel, "The Tree of Life," at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGX5HGPL, and check out her BFF's charity that she mentioned at unmatchedathlete.org!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The pod is kicking off 2024 in a big way with its first ever furry-identified guest! Comedian Adario Mercadante has been doing standup since the age of eighteen, and is truly one of the sweetest men alive. Like many '90s kids, Adario first discovered furry content on sites like LimeWire and Kazaa, and his fascination/titillation led him to further resources like Furcadia and Yiffstar. Adario not only details his full journey from pre-puberty to adulthood, but also answers several FAQs, such as "Is being a furry just a sexual kink, or is there more to it?" Plus, Adario discusses his decision to come out to the *entire world* via his appearance on ABC's The Prank Panel, and shares the incredibly moving story of how doing so literally changed his life. Forget everything you think you know about furries, and learn about the community from one of its proudest (and, since his appearance on TV, most prominent) members!First and foremost, watch Adario's episode of The Prank Panel for free at https://abc.com/shows/the-prank-panel/episode-guide/season-01/09-bride-swap-furry-double-cross (his segment starts just before the twenty-five minute mark)! Then give him a follow on TikTok at @adariomercadante, on Instagram at @adario1, and on Twitter at @YammoYeen. Lastly, if you want to check out the furry YouTuber who Adario shouted out, go to https://www.youtube.com/@BetaEtaDelota. Awoo!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

It's POD SWAP day! Leigh and Ellie of Lez Hang Out thought Coming Out Pod's listeners might especially enjoy this episode of theirs from February 2023.Lez Hang Out Episode 613: Missed Queer-nections with Elle MillsYour eyes meet across the aisle in Trader Joe’s. Then, your fingers brush as you reach for the same container of oat milk. The moment passes, but you can’t help wondering, could she have been the one? This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with writer and director Elle Mills (@elle.mills) to talk about her journey from longtime Youtube creator to filmmaker with her directorial debut of short film Reply available to rent now on CreatorPlus.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren and Nicole are reunited for the pod's *FIFTH* ANNUAL LISTENER MAILBAG!!! In this double-stuffed episode, we're taking on allllll of your burning questions with our usual #workwife candor! Hear our thoughts on if gaydar is real! Listen as we debate whether or not straight people should have to come out! Delight in our very different (BUT EQUALLY VALID) answers to "what's on your queer bucket list?" Nicole also gives her take on several poly-specific questions, including what she's learned from being the hinge partner in a V relationship! It's a warm, funny, and insightful way to say goodbye to 2023. Happy holidays, y'all, and thanks so much for listening this past year!Follow Nicole at @nicolepacent on Instagram, and be sure to check out her upcoming episode of The Poly (Pod)Cast when it drops! You can find the info for Zig Zag Pride (and all of the L.A. LGBT Center's other community groups) at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/. Also mentioned as a resource in this episode was the Cuties mailing list, which you can subscribe to at hicuties.com. Last but not least, there's no time like the present to give the *podcast* a present by leaving a 5-star rating and/or a li'l review on either iTunes or Spotify!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

If you listened to last week's special episode about A Holiday I Do and found yourself thinking "gee, this is great, but I sure wish I knew Lindsay's coming out story..." then you're in luck, because this week Lindsay Hicks is BACK, and she is TELLING ALL! Lindsay (who uses bi and pan interchangeably) moved around a lot as a kid, so she was far less focused on things like crushes and dating than she was on simply keeping herself safe from bullying. It wasn't until she got to college and met her first ever lesbian that she started to sense that something was "different." Lindsay describes the surprisingly emotional experience of coming out to "some, like random dude...after four Bud Lights," and discusses the tumultuous intensity of her first queer relationship (relatable!). She also talks about meeting her parents with compassion despite their initial negative reaction to her sexuality, and shares the very sweet experience she had watching the original L Word ("I was like, oh my God - they're so safe! They're so safe, and they're so comfortable to be who they are!"). All this, plus a dog named Bagel!Follow Lindsay and Bagel on Instagram at @linzhicks and @candicebergenbagel respectively. Also, watch Lindsay in A Holiday I Do and The List on Tello (tellofilms.com), and check out Suicide Kale on Amazon!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it's officially holiday movie season, and if you follow Lauren on Twitter, then you know that she is absolutely *obsessed* with made-for-TV Christmas movies. As such, she jumped at the chance to talk to former guest Rivkah Reyes (Episode 136) and upcoming guest Lindsay Hicks, who are the two leads of Tello Films' latest QUEER LADY CHRISTMAS MOVIE! In this special episode, Lindsay and Rivkah dish on what it was like filming A Holiday I Do in the coldest place on earth (aka Michigan in January), and discuss the reactions they've been getting from viewers (Rivkah's future mother-in-law is a huge fan!). They describe the process of shooting their climactic, movie-ending kiss in a 4° barn, and Lindsay reveals how she produced a copious amount of tears for her emotional tour de force with an equine scene partner ("I just trusted the horse"). Plus, Rivkah gushes about her recent real-life enGAYgement! It's the perfect episode to usher in the happiest season; pun *fully* intended.Check out A Holiday I Do and all of Tello's other queer and lesbian content by subscribing to their platform at tellofilms.com, or buy/rent A Holiday I Do directly at https://www.tellofilms.com/products/a-holiday-i-do.You can also follow Rivkah on Instagram and TikTok at @rivkah.reyes and on Twitter at @rivkahreyes, and don't forget to follow their full moon/new moon party HOWL on Insta at @howl.party.la! Lindsay can be found on Instagram at @linzhicks, and tune in next week to hear her coming out story!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren has an eye-opening conversation with the VELVET-VOICED Andrew McCaskill, a LinkedIn Career Expert and 2023 brand ambassador for Nike's #BeTrue campaign! When LinkedIn conducted a study of LGBTQ+ professionals for Pride Month of last year, they were surprised to learn that more than half of the respondents polled said they hide their identity in the workplace. Andrew kicks off our in-depth discussion about coming out at work with his own personal story, which begins in a rural Mississippi town that literally had more cows than people. His first big job out of college was in the financial industry, and not only was he not out to his colleagues; he found himself watching hours of SportsCenter every night before he saw clients, "because everybody wants to talk to the 6'3" Black guy about sports." We run the gamut of what it means to be queer in the workplace, including the importance of knowing your "why" if you're planning on coming out, how to find resources if you're transitioning, and the ironic downside of passing privilege. It's an invaluable conversation with somebody who's been on both sides of the out-at-work experience!Follow Andrew on Twitter at @DrewMcCaskill and find him on LinkedIn at "Andrew McCaskill," where you can also subscribe to his newsletter, The Black Guy In Marketing!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Poet and professor Erin Hoover self-identifies as "the parent of a donor-conceived child," and if you're wondering how she came to use that specific terminology, the thread of its evolution runs all the way through her recently-released collection, "No Spare People." Erin is currently based in Tennessee, and has lived in a number of places we might not think of as particularly "queer-friendly." Add to that the fact that she's chosen to parent on her own, and...let's just say she encounters a lot of personal questions. Erin shares how being queer is "a mode of existence...that has influenced every part of my life," and reads several poems from "No Spare People" as the events that inspired them come up in her story. Plus: '90s Dyke Drama (TM) at Sarah Lawrence!(TW: discussion of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)The best way to find all things Erin is to go to her Linktree at linktr.ee/erinhoover. From there, you can access her website for more of her poetry and a list of upcoming events, find out where to purchase "No Spare People," and read the Daily Beast article we discussed in this episode! You can also follow Erin on Twitter and Bluesky at @erinhoover, and on Instagram at @theerinhoover.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren aims to do Nicole proud as she hosts Rich and Siobhan of The Poly (Pod)Cast, a British/Australian couple who absolutely charm the PANTS off of her! (Just kidding; Lauren never wears pants when she records the pod.) Siobhan fully believed she was a straight woman when she met Rich in late 2020. Rich, on the other hand, had already had coming out journeys pertaining to both his bi/omnisexuality, as well as his gender identity ("I feel like I'm a collage of gender most of the time"). One thing they both had in common, though: they were sure as heck monogamous!! As their relationship continued, however, Rich's polyamorous orientation became harder and harder to deny, ultimately leading to what they both describe as the hardest conversation they've ever had. Siobhan details how honestly examining her feelings about non-monogamy "popped the cap off the self-discovery train," at which point "the bisexuality came CLAWING out!" Rich shares how terrified he was to "burden" Siobhan with yet another non-mainstream facet of his identity. It's a vulnerable, hilarious, and, dare I say, *enchanting* conversation you won't want to miss!Do yourself a favor and listen to The Poly (Pod)Cast on all the usual platforms! Also follow them on Intagram, Twitter, and Threads at @poly_podcast, and drop them an email at [email protected] show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Over the next two months, Hinge's NFAQ (Not-so Frequently Asked Questions) will be highlighting the experiences of bisexual daters, and so we're having a bi-extravaganza this week on the pod with Hinge's new Love and Connection Expert, Moe Ari Brown! But Lauren didn't want to dive into these waters all by her (gay) lonesome, and so she's also joined by guest co-host Kyrsta Morehouse, whose debut collection of (very bisexual) poetry has just been released! Besides being a GODDAMNED DELIGHT, Moe (they/he) is a Black non-binary transgender person from the South Side of Chicago, whose very first coming out was as bisexual. As such, they have the unique experience of having openly identified as both a bisexual woman *and* a bisexual man! We have an absolutely fascinating conversation about alllllllll of the challenges that bisexual people face when dating, including misconceptions across the gender spectrum, and the insidiousness of bi imposter syndrome. Plus, Moe shares their personal coming out journey, and how it led them to their current work!Check out Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions (and submit some yourself!) at hinge.nfaq.co, and follow Moe on Instagram and TikTok at @loveoutproud! Also, go to theemoeari.com for all things Moe, and listen to the Be Your Own Love Goals Podcast that Moe co-hosts with their wife! Finally, follow Kyrsta on Instagram at @kyrstashae, and hit up poetrybykyrsta.com to find out where you can buy "As Long As This Heart Beats," her BEAUTIFUL debut collection!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Tomorrow is Intersex Awareness Day 2023, and Lauren has a guest whom she's wanted to have on the podcast ever since she saw her do an Insta Live for Intersex Awareness Day 2022! Jahni Leggett has a number of intersecting identities (fat! Black! someone with ADHD!), but describes her intersex identity as the foundation or "fixed point" that informs all of the others. Jahni was raised as a boy by a single father who had very heteronormative, machismo-tinged expectations for her...but in Jahni's own words, "things started to get funky" around fourth or fifth grade, when she suddenly began to develop breasts. This is only the beginning of Jahni's story, which she tells with humor, charisma, and an *incredible* amount of grace and compassion for those involved along the way. From unexpectedly finding radical acceptance and empowerment through sex work to finally receiving a diagnosis that made everything fall into place, Jahni's story is a true celebration of intersex identity! Happy Intersex Awareness Day, y'all!(TW: mentions of underage sex work, but nothing descriptive)Follow Jahni on Instagram at @queen_jahni_, and watch the fantastic video she made with Jubilee at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvKbfegN1g0, where it has over ONE MILLION VIEWS! Also, if *you* are intersex and are looking for community, check out the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex at https://lalgbtcenter.org/programs/community-support-groups/intersex-support/!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

This week on the pod: Lauren sits down with L.A. LGBT Center facilitator *and* participant, Elle Forbes (they/them)! Elle identifies as bisexual, transfeminine non-binary, and aroace, so buckle up, everybody: we're talking three coming outs MINIMUM! Elle's journey contains its fair share of darkness, but now that they've fully stepped into their identity, their exuberance is palpable. Elle shares how coming out as bisexual "was a need; not a want," and explains why their gender realization took a good deal longer ("we hide ourselves from ourselves"). Inspired by Nicole's vulnerability in previous episodes, we also have a candid discussion about cheating, and Lauren manages to not-so-subtly sneak in the pod's ten thousandth Rachel Weisz reference. IT'S A GIFT!!!(TW: mention of sexual abuse, but nothing descriptive)Follow Elle on Instagram at @icanseequeerlynowtherainisgone, and check out all of the community groups the L.A. LGBT Center has to offer at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/. Also, as discussed in this episode, sign up for weekly emails from Cuties at hicuties.com, and follow them on Insta at @cutiesla!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day, and the pod is celebrating with a *truly* delightful conversation with mental health therapist and writer, Parisa Akhbari! Parisa had an abstract fear of lesbianism throughout her early adolescence; enough so that she asked her mother at the age of eight if lesbians were "good people." But when her older sister came out a few years later, Parisa felt a huge sense of relief that "oh, it was HER the whole time - it wasn't me!" Parisa continued to repress her feelings for girls throughout high school (despite some same-sex smooching...), and not long after she'd started college, the idea of dating *anyone* went out the window when she was diagnosed with a debilitating disability. Parisa shares the beautiful story of how the Persian new year Nowruz ended up doubling as her own coming out celebration, and describes how her queer YA novel, "Just Another Epic Love Poem," is overflowing with love for her wife. Also: the legend of the Rusty Pelican, and why it gave a young Parisa butterflies!Follow Parisa on Twitter and TikTok at @ParisaWrites, and on Instagram at @authorparisa (where you can also check out The Queer Muslim Project she mentioned at @thequeermuslimproject). And go to Parisa's website, parisawrites.com, to sign up for her newsletter and pre-order "Just Another Epic Love Poem," which comes out on March 12th, 2024!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Netflix's Sex Education recently dropped its final season, and with it came a new asexual character who - while groundbreaking - has proven to be quite divisive within the ace community. To that end, it seemed like the perfect time for Lauren to have a conversation with asexual activist Marshall John Blount, known online as the Gentle Giant Ace! Marshall was homeschooled by his mother from third grade onward, so he didn't directly experience the social pressures of high school dating. Even so, he knew that he felt "different" from his peers, and when he finally confided this to a family member, the information that she gave him on asexuality was a revelation. Marshall discusses the specific set of challenges that Black asexual people face, and shares how, even in activist spaces, he is almost always the only person like him in the room. He also explains why he literally wears his identity on his sleeve (or rather on his back, in the form of an ace pride flag), and much more!Find Marshall on Twitter at @AceGentle, on TikTok at @gentlegiantace93, and on YouTube and Facebook as Marshall John Blount!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren has a beautiful conversation with singer-songwriter Irina Rivkin, who identifies as "a lesbian queer femme dyke with disabilities" as well as ambiamorous, which for her means "my heart is capable of loving more than one person...but also doesn't mean that I *must* be in multiple relationships." Irina's family had to flee Russia in the '70s, and subsequently settled in the U.S. as refugees when Irina and her twin sister were just five years old. But despite being in a safer country, Irina didn't feel safe within her strict, conservative family, where there were "a lot of consequences to non-conformity." As a result, Irina's same-sex attraction didn't really register for her until she went off to UC Berkeley...and suddenly found herself in a progressive environment teeming with eminently-crushable butch women! Irina's coming out story involves *literally* bursting through a closet door, not to mention a queer kissing booth! She also discusses accidentally outing herself to her parents, and graces us with a GORGEOUS live performance of "Ya Eyo Lublu," her self-described "Russian-Jewish-lesbian-émigré-coming-out-love-song," which won the 2003 Outmusic Award for Outsong of the Year!You can listen to more of Irina's beautiful music (and find out about her virtual performances!) on YouTube at youtube.com/irinarivkin, and on Facebook at facebook.com/IrinaRivkin.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Tera Wozniak Stortz, founder of the Queer Divorce Club, remembers one fleeting moment in high school when it ever-so-briefly crossed her mind that she might be a lesbian. For the most part, though, Tera thought that her lack of attraction to men simply meant that she was "broken." Like many in her position, Tera ended up in a long-term heteronormative marriage, and kept herself moving at such a breakneck pace that she never had time to truly examine her identity. But when Tera and her husband became polyamorous and Tera started having experiences with women...the truth that she'd been repressing for decades became impossible to ignore. Tera shares how opening her marriage led to her meeting her current partner, and describes how she and her now ex-husband explained their divorce to their two young children in a transparent but age-appropriate way. We also discuss the unique difficulties (not to mention stigmas) that come with getting "queer divorced," and Tera shares how she created the Queer Divorce Club around the central idea that "we can all get divorced in our own way."Interested in the Queer Divorce Club?? You can check out their website at queerdivorceclub.com, and request to join their private Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/queerdivorceclub. You can also learn more about Tera at terawozniakstortz.com, and follow her on Instagram at @tera.queerdivorceclub and on TikTok at @teraqueerdivorceclub!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

"Long-time listener, first-time guest" Amanda Slawinski's coming out journey began with a covert kiss behind a purposefully-closed door at the tender age of five...but then didn't pick up again until eighteen years later. Amanda identifies as queer, demisexual, and a "recovering Catholic," so it's no surprise that sex of any kind was NOT discussed in her family home (even the Gilmore Girls were frowned upon). Ironically, though, an unscripted moment during Catholic Mass the Sunday after marriage equality passed in New York ended up becoming a huge turning point in her life. Amanda describes having her first ever queer experience one week before the pandemic hit (timing is everything!), and shares how finding THIS VERY PODCAST during lockdown assisted her on her coming out journey! Lauren and Amanda also discuss what demisexuality means to them, and we relive the adolescent Gay Panic (TM) of worrying that your family will discover you made all your Sims gay!Follow Amanda on Instagram at @yogawithmoo, and hit her up if you're in the NYC area and are interested in yoga or meditation classes! You can also request to follow her private Insta account at @amanda.slawinski.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Musician Jupiter Zirkua (she/they) describes her story as "a lot of bleak stuff," but with "a bookend to it that's really sweet," and she delivers on both promises. Raised in rural Florida by a single mother, Jupiter's first introduction to the idea of gender nonconformity was a kindergarten teacher at a Tampa Catholic school. But while Jupiter was aware of the pansexual aspect of her identity from a fairly early age, it would take years before she felt secure enough to truly begin engaging with her transness. From coming out in a sewer (yup!) to leaving home at the age of sixteen, Jupiter tells her story with a degree of levity and heart that is deeply impressive in the face of all she's had to overcome. We talk about She Who Must Not Be Named, Elliot Page, and Jupiter's most personal album yet; plus, Jupiter discusses the freedom and emotional-shorthand of being in a relationship with another trans person!(TW: grooming and child abuse, both physical and sexual)You can listen to Jupiter's back catalog by searching "Stuffy Doll" wherever you get your music, and check out MxDmG exclusively on Bandcamp! You can also follow Jupiter at @stuffydollband on Insta and Tumblr, and @stuffydoll on Bluesky. Lastly, the queer content creators who Jupiter shouted out are Teddy Hold On (@teddyholdon on Insta) and Zhalarina (@zhalarina on Insta), both of whom have music available wherever you do your streaming!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

If you're an old school listener of the pod, then over the years you've probably heard Lauren and Nicole mention their SINGLE GREATEST SUCCESS STORY* as podcasters, which is the marriage of Episode 25 guest Vanessa Ravenscroft. Well, get ready for a lovey-dovey episode, because today Lauren and her guest co-host Vanessa are talking to the woman who made it all possible: baker, artist, and Vanessa's wife, Sarah Ravenscroft! Sarah hit the ground running by living every lesbian's dream (i.e., dating her best friend at an all-girls Catholic high school). But when that relationship had run its course, she found herself grappling with an all-too-relatable queer conundrum: how do you find potential partners; *especially* if you're considered "straight-presenting?" Sarah discusses the queer platonic relationship she entered into with an ace male friend (they had a dog *and* a house!), and the fateful night that Vanessa slid into her DMs. Squeal along with Lauren as Sarah and Vanessa share their love story, from that very first message on Twitter to the day Nicole officiated their wedding at Disneyland!Follow Sarah and all of her fuzzy/feathered kids on Twitter at @Squatchycat, and on Insta and Threads at @fuzziesoflakeview! Follow Vanessa on Twitter at @LochNessy7891, and on Insta and TikTok at @vanessalynn25!*(besides finding Ricky)This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

At sixteen years old, Jenn Levine sat in a room with her mother and was told by two doctors that she had an extra chromosome, and that because of that extra chromosome, she would never be able to have children. But that wasn't all: they also said that she shouldn't tell anyone about her "birth defect" because people wouldn't understand, and then closed out the conversation by saying "you'll probably never meet anybody else like you." What Jenn *wasn't* told that day was that she was intersex; that was something she wouldn't find out til over a decade later, when she herself undertook a years-long process of obtaining her hard copy medical records from that very appointment. Jenn describes the truly serpentine journey she went through to finally arrive at the point where she now definitively knows "I am not my diagnosis...I am an intersex woman." All this, plus Jenn kvells over the fact that she is living every Jewish woman's dream by being a bagel ambassador for Brooklyn's BagelFest!Follow Jenn everywhere at @jennlevine! Also, follow InterConnect on Instagram at @interconnect_support, and check out their website at interconnect.support to see all that they do! If you'd like to join the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex group, you can register at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/member-registration/ (intersex-identified folks only, though - allies, check out InterConnect!). Lastly, Every Body, the intersex documentary that Jenn discusses in this episode, is streaming for free on Peacock, and is available for purchase elsewhere.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren sits down with voice actor and romantic/erotic audio narrator Dianna Conley, who identifies as bi/pansexual ("I saw The Mummy, and my answer was 'yes'"), agender, and neurospicy! Dianna's first kiss with a girl was in high school, but since she knew she was definitely attracted to boys, she was left more confused by the experience than anything else. That is, until she learned the word "bisexual" from a formative character on The O.C.! Dianna shares how, for her, "all clothes are a costume," and explains why "being ADHD is more important to my identity than having a gender." Plus, Lauren and Dianna - who met in a COVID-conscious Zoom group - discuss how the ongoing pandemic is very much a queer issue, and have a personal and candid conversation about why they are still taking the level of precaution they are.Whole lotta stuff here, so buckle up! First off, follow Dianna on Instagram at @diannaconley and on Twitter at @DiannaConleyVO, and get in touch with her via her website at diannaconley.com. Also mentioned in this episode, former guest Jessica Ellis (Episode 144) is tweeting very openly about her journey with Long COVID at @baddestmamajama (you can search her profile page for "Long COVID" to turn up tweets).In terms of all the COVID-related information we discussed, here's an easy to digest, super-thorough primer full of resources and links: https://www.patreon.com/posts/86871700?utm_campaign=postshare_fan. If you're interested in meeting other folks who are #stillcoviding, the "Still Coviding Weekly Hangout" (@covidisntover on Twitter and Instagram) is a virtual, international, and very queer-leaning group, and you can also check out covidmeetups.com. Last but not least, if you'd like to personally ask Lauren about any of the things discussed in this episode, please don't hesitate to reach out at [email protected]!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Lauren is joined by her friend and co-facilitator, Maggie Tielker (Episode 165), for an in-depth conversation with Lane Willis, whom Lauren and Maggie both know from the L.A. LGBT Center's HERstories group! Lane (they/them) is a *phenomenal* kindergarten teacher, who hopes their students will always remember them as "that one that wore the rainbow shoes." Lane knew that they "adored girls" as early as five years old, and also strongly identified with both Twiggy and Elton John. But a rushed marriage to a man at only nineteen years old quashed any chance of Lane exploring either their sexuality or their gender identity for many years. Lane shares how their involvement in an underground swinging community confirmed their long-suppressed attraction to women, and discusses how non-binary YouTubers guided them to their eventual gender epiphany at the age of fifty-two. Plus, Lane tells a story about running into a former student at Pride that will pull on even the sturdiest of heartstrings!If you're interested in any of the groups or workshops discussed during this episode, check out the L.A. LGBT Center's website at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/, and follow them everywhere at @lalgbtcenter. Also, follow Maggie at @maggietielker, and check out some of her designs at @worldofwonder!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

For her first episode all by her lonesome, Lauren wanted to bring on "a guest who felt like home." Enter Brooke Berry, Lauren's BFF from college, whose incredible life experiences run the gamut from starting an AIDS coalition with a nun at the age of twelve, to living in South Africa, to working with Angelina Jolie (DON'T FREAK OUT, NICOLE!). Even *more* impressive than these achievements, however, is the fact that Brooke was literally in the room for Lauren's first ever girl-girl kiss, which Lauren finally dishes on in detail! Brooke reveals how she knew Lauren was gay even before *Lauren* knew Lauren was gay, and shares why she thinks so many theatre boys picked her as a queer-adjacent safe haven to come out to. She also discusses the unbridled joy of her brother's nascent journey with gender fluidity; plus, Lauren owns up to being "devoured" by her first ever queer relationship, which saw her largely peacing out on her entire friend group. Learn from her mistakes, lesbians!!!If you'd like to reach out to Brooke, feel free to do so via @comingoutpod on Twitter or Instagram, or at [email protected]!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

So, okay; here's the deal: we talked SO much when we recorded Nicole's farewell episode that we ended up cutting almost half an hour from the version that we released last week (classic #workwives!). We ultimately decided that this particular twenty-four minute chunk didn't serve the true purpose of that ep - which was celebrating Nicole, our partnership, and the version of the pod that is "Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole" - but we also felt that the tangential discussion we'd had was important enough to release on its own as this bonus mini-episode. Plus, Nicole wouldn't be Nicole if she didn't leave without a dash of CONTROVERSY! Please enjoy the following completely unedited, *heated* conversation, and remember: it's okay if we disagree!The Out Magazine article we discuss (that we keep mistakenly referring to as an "interview;" oops!) can be found here: https://www.out.com/gay-news/jasmin-savoy-brown-lesbian. At least Lauren got the author right!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

The moment is here, y'all: it's our final episode as Lauren & Nicole. So grab a glass of red wine and/or bottle of sparkling mineral water, and strap in as we take an equally hilarious and tearful stroll down memory lane; from the original tiny closet that we crammed Stephanie Beatriz into, to our posh podcasting studio, to our respective hot, sweaty closets that we've been recording in since we went virtual! Nicole shares what she's learned, what she's grateful for, and even a few things she wishes she'd done differently. We reminisce about some of our favorite moments, and talk about our ONLY fight as #workwives! Nicole sobs! Lauren actually CRIES! It's a beautiful, funny, and fitting goodbye for a truly irreplaceable co-host.Keep up with Nicole on Instagram at @nicolepacent. Our hashtags are #comingoutpod and, in ethereal perpetuity, #foundricky.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

This is Nicole's penultimate episode of the podcast, so we knew our guest had to be someone extra-special! For over a decade, this incredible human being has been extremely close to Nicole and her family; so much so that he performed Nicole and Gustav's wedding in Scotland, and Nicole's sister's Memorial Service. Now, after *countless* mentions on the pod over the years, we finally sit down with the man, the myth, the legend, the REVEREND: Mark Montgomery! Mark discusses his small town South Carolina conservative Christian upbringing, and tells the "gayer than gay" story of how he came out to his mother at her hospital bedside (let's just say Steel Magnolias was involved). We talk faith vs. religion, Mark shares some "practical theology" you can use when confronted by intolerant Bible thumpers, and we take a deep dive into the misinterpretation of the oft-cited Sodom and Gomorrah story! This is an episode that you won't want to miss (and that you *will* want to send to your conservative family members)...Mark gives an incorrect handle at the end of this ep, so make sure you *actually* follow him on Instagram at @markdmontgomery (and feel free to reach out)! Some of the people and resources he mentions during this episode include the United Church of Christ's website (ucc.org), Janie Spahr (https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/jane-adams-spahr), and More Light Presbyterians (mlp.org).This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

We laugh our goddamned asses off with standup, writer, and biomedical engineer (yes, really!), Pallavi Gunalan, who wins Lauren over in the first sixty seconds by stating that she "would die for Pierro." Pallavi grew up in an Indian family in Utah, and only started coming to terms with her queerness in her late 20's ("I had just started wearing crop tops; I didn't know you could do that without a sari"). Pallavi made the bold choice to incorporate her newfound identity into her comedy almost immediately, and shares the exhilarating story of coming out live on stage to her cousins. (She also discusses the much less effusive reaction she got when she later told her parents...) Not only that; Pallavi provides us with a *phenomenal* pudding cup analogy, and we talk shame, adult goths, and the Tootsie Pops owl!Follow Pallavi everywhere and on all the things at @PallaviGunalan. Share her stuff, come to her shows, and don't forget to keep an eye out for her in the comments under Pierro's pictures!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

When Tembe Denton-Hurst's fiancée gifted her a writing class, Tembe had no idea that the short story she turned in would eventually become "Homebodies," her debut novel that was published in May! A consummate writer, Tembe shares a hilarious rollercoaster of a coming out story that includes an "earth-shifting" look she exchanged with a friend's younger sister, and a highly-relatable series of "deeply one-sided, ill-fated crushes." Tembe also discusses how, at just twenty years old, she and her now-fiancée made the incredibly mature decision to prioritize their relationship over their unaccepting parents, and explains how, with "Homebodies," she wanted to tell a more nuanced coming out story about "women who are very settled in their identities, but still constantly navigating...being queer in Black families." All this, plus Nicole has sexy chest-cold-voice!Follow Tembe on Instagram and Twitter at @tembae, and check out her website at tembedentonhurst.com!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

We're closing out Pride Month in a big way with Emmy-nominated actress, writer, and producer, Rain Valdez (Razor Tongue; Transparent)! Rain, who describes herself as a heterosexual transgender woman, was born in the Philippines, and initially raised by her incredibly affirming grandparents. Things only changed when she moved with her mother and stepfather to Guam, and discovered that the people there were considerably less accepting than those in her home country. At the age of nineteen, Rain moved on her own to Los Angeles to pursue the arts, and was advised not to disclose to anyone that she was transgender. Believing this was her only path forward, Rain did exactly that for many years. But in June of 2016, bolstered by the beautiful community she'd met working on Transparent, Rain came out publicly in a VICE article. We have a candid conversation about what it's like trying to forge a career in the entertainment industry once it has decided that your particular marginalization is no longer trendy. Also, we discuss the many and varied ways that we as queer people can often feel "in between worlds," and what it means to try to align with your purpose within a system that was not built for you in the first place.Follow Rain on Instagram at @rainvaldez, and check out her website at rainvaldez.com and her company at rainbowrated.com! Also, you can watch Rain's Emmy-nominated turn in Razor Tongue at https://rainbowrated.com/razortongue, and you can see her short film Ryans at https://www.rainvaldez.com/videos!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Holy hell, do we have a PIPING HOT EPISODE for you! When previous guest Avgi Saketopoulou and her partner Ann Pellegrini (both practicing psychoanalysts and faculty members at NYU) received an award for an academic article they co-authored, they were thrilled to find out that their paper would be published in a prestigious journal. They spent the following year working closely with the editors to revise their article for publication...only to be told at the last minute that they would be required to remove parts that the journal deemed "too political." Instead of bowing to pressure, Avgi and Ann decided to expand upon their thesis and publish it as a book, thereby making their work accessible to laypeople as well as academics. In this riveting conversation, Avgi and Ann discuss their controversial argument: that queer and trans people are not, to quote Lady Gaga, "born this way," but rather that any number of outside factors (including trauma) *can* affect and inform our sexuality/gender. It's a truly liberating, paradigm-shifting discussion about how we as queer people police ourselves as a result of (justified) fear that our words will be weaponized against us. And most importantly, we finally get to the bottom of the eternal question: *did* seeing the movie Mannequin as a child make Lauren gay??Follow Avgi and Ann on Instagram at @avgolis98 and @apell168 respectively. And give Jeff Bezos the finger by ordering their incredible book at uitbooks.com instead of at the other place!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Therapist and advocate Briana Mills was born with an extremely rare form of muscular dystrophy, and from a very early age, everyone but her mother reinforced the ableist idea that the world would never expect much from her. Throughout her youth, Briana didn't want anything to do with her disability; all she wanted was to fit in. But her participation in a youth leadership forum for marginalized students not only changed the way she viewed herself, it made her want to educate others. Briana shares how seeing therapist after therapist who knew nothing about disability inspired her to become a therapist herself, specifically so that she could serve other people like her. She also discusses her experiences as a disabled bisexual woman on the dating apps, and we have a great conversation about taking it upon yourself to educate others vs. somewhat-less-kindly telling people to educate themselves.Check out Briana's website at https://www.brianamills.com/, and follow her on Twitter at @theBrianaMills and on Instagram at @brianamillslmft. And if you live in California and are looking for a therapist, make sure to reach out!Also, while we don't have personal experience with it, it's worth noting per our conversation in this episode that there is a new queer-friendly dating app called Dateability that is specifically designed for the disabled and chronically ill communities! You can follow them on Twitter and Insta at @dateabilityapp, and sign up for an account at https://info.dateabilityapp.com/!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

WE MADE IT TO PRIDE MONTH, Y'ALL! For our first episode of the *actual* happiest season (sorry, KStew), we're rejoined by comedian and podcaster extraordinaire, Carolyn Bergier, who was first on the pod all the way back in Pride of 2019! When we last spoke with Carolyn, she was two years into her second marriage, and described herself as a "serial monogamist." Well, suffice to say there's been a big change to the latter half of that sentence, because two years ago, Carolyn and her wife Cecilia opened up their marriage! Carolyn shares how feeling safer and more secure in a relationship than she ever had before had unexpected results, and discusses the challenges and joys of navigating "non-monogamy 101." She also describes the differences between dating women on her own versus dating them with her wife, and we have an incredibly candid conversation about alllllllll the pros and cons of having children. Happy listening, and HAPPY PRIDE!Follow Carolyn on Instagram (and encourage her on TikTok!) at @tgicarolyn. And if you're in the New York area, lucky you: you can go see Carolyn's live queer dating show "Love's A Pitch" on June 20th at C'mon Everybody in Brooklyn!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Hot on the heels of her newly-released debut comedy album "Off-White," we talked to Nicaraguan-American comedian and writer, Cat Alvarado! Growing up in a mostly Spanish-speaking household, Cat always felt more Latina...and yet more often than not, she was perceived by her own community as "a white girl." Needless to say, Cat's dawning realization that she was bisexual only enhanced her experience of straddling two different worlds. Cat describes the dismal Vegas wedding she went through with as a teenager because she was terrified of going to hell for having premarital sex, and shares the refreshingly *positive* experience she had being a unicorn (good couples ARE out there!!). We also have a candid conversation about those instances where we're not 100% "out and proud" with family members, and the guilt we place on ourselves as queer people for these deeply personal decisions. Plus: naked ladies!Follow Cat on Twitter and Instagram at @thecatalvarado, and on TikTok at @catalvaradocomedy. And you can buy "Off-White" on iTunes and Bandcamp, or stream it on Spotify! But, you know - buy it!This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5207650/advertisement

Actor/singer-songwriter Holly Cinnamon (Succession, Daredevil) recently released the single "Small Town Queer," and in a true case of impeccable timing, we just so happened to catch her while she's briefly back in her rural Canadian hometown! Holly (she/they) weaves a tale that has it all: a childhood obsession with Barbra Streisand! Coming to terms with your sexuality on a camping trip! Making your pregnant high school biology teacher a Feist mixtape! Holly also shares how they processed a traumatic event via Alexander Technique and somatic experiencing, and how they've recently embraced themself as a self-described "baby they." Plus, the song Holly wrote to honor the first American woman in space (who, spoiler alert, was also queer)!(TW: sexual assault, but nothing descriptive. Content warning is verbally given beforehand at around the 42 minute mark.)Follow Holly on Instagram at @holly.cinnamon, subscribe to her YouTube channel, and check out her teaching presence website at https://teachingpresence.com/. You can also listen to "Small Town Queer," "Ride Sally Ride," and more on Spotify at https://sptfy.com/hollycinnamon, or just search "Holly Cinnamon" on any streaming platform!

Lauren talks to her CHARMING AND HILARIOUS friend Shenuque Tissera, a New York-based actor and standup who identifies as a genderqueer pansexual! Shenuque (he/they) grew up in a Sri Lankan Catholic family on Staten Island, and remembers the concept of masculinity making him uncomfortable as far back as childhood. This didn't get any easier when he started attending an all-boys Catholic high school, and so Shenuque learned to just keep his head down, and try to blend in with the machismo around him. It wasn't until just after college that Shenuque finally stopped repressing his sexuality...and by then he was already in a very serious relationship with a woman. Shenuque talks about how he started using standup as a way to process his sexual identity, and shares how exploring gender is what's currently most interesting to him. He also describes the messages he gets from queer Sri Lankan kids, and tells a surprisingly tender story about a hunky gym rat with a heart of gold!Follow Shenuque (and watch his standup clips!) on Instagram at @shenuque, and on TikTok at @fakeshenuque. And check out Lauren and Shenuque TOGETHER on past episodes of FMK Champions here and here!

At long last, Episode 40 guest Martha Marion is back to talk about her all *new* set of identifiers, which include "solo-poly-my-way" and "Everybody from Ted Lasso can get it!" Martha discusses the excitement she experienced getting to be "a publicly queer person," and shares how she felt like, in coming out, she escaped a straitjacket, only to discover "there's twenty more straitjackets on under here?!" Martha also describes her quest to replace the relationship escalator with a playground, and we have an elaborate discussion about the infinite nuances that exist within relationship orientations. All this, plus Martha gushes about her girlfriend and "the wet joy of being a whole person that gets to meet another whole person!"Catch Martha as the voice of Arcee in Transformers: Earthspark on Paramount+, and say hi to her if you see her on a bus!

If you're a long-time listener of the pod, then you probably remember alllllll the way back in Episode 17 when Nicole's mom joined us to tell Nicole's coming out story from her own point of view as a parent. Well, it took us four-and-a-half years and 230 more episodes, but we've finally got a matching set of Pacents: today's guest is none other than Nicole's DAD! Paul Pacent discusses his Italian-American Catholic(ish) upbringing on Long Island, and how having (closeted) gay friends in the '60s helped normalize queerness for him. He speaks honestly about his family's less-than-stellar reaction when his younger sister (Nicole's Aunt Nina) came out, and how in many ways that prepared him for his experience with Nicole two decades later. Plus, we tackle the age-old question that spans all generations: what do you do when people are being ignorant asshats in the group chat??

Burak Yilmaz grew up in a very small town in Turkey and was best friends with his beautiful, glamorous mother: she taught him fashion, makeup, and hair, and would dress him in outfits to match her. But when he was five years old, Burak's mother left, launching him into a real-life Cinderella story, complete with a literal wicked (read: abusive) stepmother. In addition to his stepmother, Burak also endured abuse at the religious boarding school he was shipped off to, later documenting his experiences in a best-selling Turkish memoir that he wrote under a pen name. But when his identity was discovered, Burak was captured and imprisoned. He shares his incredible story of perseverance, culminating in his recently released book, "If My Mother Never Left." Also, the debt that Miley Cyrus owes him for her new hit single!(TW: child abuse)Follow Burak on Instagram at @burakny212, and look for "If My Mother Never Left" (available soon in audio form) on Burak's website (https://burak212.com/), Amazon, or wherever else you buy books online!

Nicole is once again single-handedly manning the ship for a conversation with Rae McDaniel (they/them), a non-binary therapist, certified sex therapist, coach, Transgender Diversity and Inclusion Educator, AND author of the upcoming book "Gender Magic: Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step Into Your Most Authentic Self" -- talk about a multi-hyphenate! Rae grew up the adopted child of fundamentalist Southern Baptist missionary puppeteers (!!) in rural Louisiana, got married very young to a cis man, and didn't come out as queer until they moved to Chicago for grad school. Their story is an inspiring example of moving through difficulty to find gender "magic," which they define as that space where "who I think that I am, how I'm presenting myself in the world, who I'm surrounding myself with, and how I'm showing up in the world are all aligned." Rae also discusses how they encourage their trans and non-binary clients to move away from a fear-based paradigm by reframing gender exploration as the magic we are running *towards,* not just the pain we are running away from. It's a fantastic conversation, and we hope it whets your appetite for Rae's book, which launches May 30th!Follow Rae on Instagram at @theraemcdaniel for allllll things Rae, including their newsletter and "Gender Magic" pre-orders!

Nicole flies solo this week for a WILD ride of a conversation with NYC comedian Maggie Lalley, who took her childhood trauma and turned it into a *hilarious* off-Broadway musical! Sex Witch The Musical covers Maggie's time in, quote, "a two-person teen witch sex cult," and if that sentence doesn't grab your attention...then we are quite simply out of ideas. Maggie divulges an incredible true tale of Albanian witches, bi-locational powers, and even A-List celebrities (kind of)! Plus, Nicole helps Maggie have *multiple* breakthrough realizations in real time!Follow Maggie on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok at @magslals, and purchase tickets for Sex Witch The Musical (opening April 19th!) at https://www.sohoplayhouse.com/sex-witch-the-musical. Don't forget that you can DM Maggie for a secret discount code!

There's "I didn't realize I was queer!" and then there's "An actual pastor's kid had to inform me that I was queer!" Comedian and podcast host Jolenta Greenberg (How to Be Fine) hilariously falls into the second category. Although Jolenta spent all of high school in blissful obliviousness, the evidence of her bisexuality had been piling up since childhood, notably with simultaneous crushes on LeVar Burton and a female side character on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. But despite frequently hooking up with her female friends and regularly attending a queer club, Jolenta genuinely believed that she was just a REALLY good ally! She and Nicole bond over being bi women in straight-facing marriages, and Jolenta discusses the "pang" she sometimes feels about not having put a label on her sexuality sooner. Also: what it's like to live by the teachings of different self-help books week after week, all for the purposes of your podcast!Follow Jolenta on Instagram at @jolenta_g and on Twitter at @JolentaG. Also, check out How to Be Fine (formerly known as By The Book) wherever you get your podcasts, and follow them on Instagram at @howtobefinepod!

This Friday, March 31st, is Trans Day of Visibility, and we quite literally can't think of a better way to celebrate than with the author of the upcoming book "Begin Transmission: The trans allegories of The Matrix!" When screenwriter Tilly Bridges first saw The Matrix back in 1999, it spoke to her on an incredibly deep level that she couldn't fully understand until about fifteen years later, when she realized that - like the Wachowski Sisters themselves - she was trans. Tilly decided to revisit and analyze the movie that had started it all, and what began as a simple thread about The Matrix's trans allegories eventually became a timestamped handbook to the entire series! As Matrix fans, we absolutely GEEKED OUT over this conversation, and we know that you will, too! Happy Trans Day of Visibility!"Begin Transmission: The trans allegories of The Matrix" comes out on June 27th, and you can pre-order it wherever books are sold! Also, follow Tilly (and ask her all your Matrix questions!) on Twitter at @TillyBridges, and on Instagram at @heckyeahtillybridges. For all of the writing she and her wife do as a team, check out http://birdguest.com/, and for over a hundred archived Trans Tuesdays posts (plus new ones every week), go to http://tillystranstuesdays.com/!

We have a hilarious chat with one of Lauren's old comedy buddies: actor, writer, director, and standup, Bill Posley! As a Black-presenting, Catholic school *and* Baptist Church-attending veteran from a military family, you can probably guess how easy it was for Bill to accept the fact that he was bisexual. He weaves a Tarantino-esque tale that involves answering a classified ad for masseuses, getting clean and sober, and having a surprisingly revelatory coming out conversation with his father. Plus: Uncle Reggie's fabulous adventures in West Hollywood!Find Bill everywhere at @BillPosley, and check out his standup, By The Bi, and more on his YouTube channel!

We have a conversation with psychoanalyst Avgi Saketopoulou that is truly unlike *anything* we've ever broached before. Avgi's new book is called "Sexuality Beyond Consent," and if that title makes you a tad uncomfortable...that's kind of the point. Avgi's work gives new meaning to the idea of "risky" sex by exploring the eroticism around shame, humiliation, and objectification, with a particular focus on the controversial sexual roleplay fetish known as race play. She guides us through an incredibly nuanced conversation about "finding the erotic in the domain of the traumatic" (an experience that can be both frightening *and* exhilarating), and explains how, especially when it comes to queer sex, "we are both fenced in, and fencing ourselves in." Avgi is absolutely BRILLIANT, and we are so grateful that she was game to dive into this very complicated (but equally fascinating) territory!(TW: explicit sexual acts; discussion of race play, and accompanying discussion of Jeremy O. Harris' "Slave Play")Check out Avgi's website at https://www.avgisaketopoulou.com/, and follow her on Instagram at @avgolis98. You can purchase "Sexuality Beyond Consent: Risk, Race, Traumatophilia" via the above site, or wherever books are sold. And don't forget to leave a review!

Okay: so last month in Episode 234, we had a good ol' fashioned bitch session about how gatekeep-y the Los Angeles queer scene can be. But because we are mature and balanced adults, it seemed only fair to highlight the founder of one queer event in L.A. that is getting it 100% RIGHT! Enter Lilly Brown, the creator and organizer of Queer Field Day! Fostering community has always been a central part of Lilly's life, tracing all the way back to one night in college when she found herself at a queer oil wrestling after-party, looked around, and realized "everything feels right here." Lilly explains how a beach get-together that she figured would draw maybe twenty to fifty people ended up being a 300+ person event, and how from there she built Queer Field Day into one of the most popular gatherings in L.A.! Also, the tale of how a mismatched room share situation at Dinah Shore unexpectedly led Lilly to the love of her life...Follow Lilly on TikTok and Instagram at @lilly27sings, and check out Queer Field Day at https://www.queerfieldday.com/, and on Instagram at @queerfieldday! For those local to L.A., other queer community resources mentioned in this episode were https://www.hicuties.com/ (make sure to sign up for their fantastic email list!), and @beingqueerinla on Insta.

At long last: it's actor, writer, director, and educator, Carolyn Ratteray (Outfest 2022's (UN)CLAIMED)! We've been wanting to have Carolyn on the pod for ages, because she and her wife, Kelli, were one of the first poly couples that Nicole EVER met! Carolyn regales us with a twisty-turny story that involves a sleepaway arts camp, a Black Baptist conference on homosexuality, and two *incredibly* prophetic dreams! She also shares how kink helped free her from the residual shame she was carrying from her long and arduous coming out process, and we have a tantalizing discussion about BDSM (Lauren mostly listens!).Follow Carolyn on Instagram at @carolynratteray, and watch (UN)CLAIMED on Vimeo at https://vimeo.com/694127928!

It's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, and our guest (and current med student) Stella is LEARNING US UP on this oft-misunderstood identity! In addition to being aromantic, Stella also identifies as asexual and queer, but it's the first of these labels that most strongly shapes and affects how she experiences the world. Stella discusses how, to her, being aromantic feels like existing on "a different plane entirely," and not at all like "operating from a deficit" - an incredibly important distinction that alloromantic folks often don't understand. Stella also explains how health providers tend to pathologize asexuality and aromanticism, treating these identities as a problem to be solved rather than trusting their patients' lived experience. It's a fascinating episode that sheds a lot of light on not just aromanticism, but relationships in general. Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, y'all!Follow Stella's advocacy page on Instagram at @aroacespec_tacular.ca, and check out The Aspec Affirming Practitioner Directory at https://aspecaffirmingdire.wixsite.com/aspec-affirming-prac!

In honor of Black History Month, we're doing a special episode covering a selection of Black queer trailblazers who are especially meaningful to us! We've put our focus on activists and artists who fly a little bit below the radar, so chances are you won't know most of these folks, but you absolutely should. Lauren finally talks about a singer/songwriter who ISN'T Joni Mitchell! Nicole shares the work of a spoken-word poet who made her heart go pitter patter as a teen! We also recommend present-day accounts to follow, and discuss some of the uprisings helmed by queer people of color that pre-date Stonewall. Happy Black History Month!Discussed in this episode:Bayard RustinAntoinette Scully (@AntoinetteForLA on Twitter and Insta)Staceyann Chin (@staceyannchin on Twitter and Insta)Joan Armatrading (@ArmatradingJoan on Twitter; @joan_armatrading on Insta)Cheryl Dunye (@cheryldunye on Insta; @cdunye on Twitter)Gladys BentleyStormé DeLarverieThe Cooper Do-nuts and Compton's Cafeteria riotsJanaya Future Khan (@janayathefuture on Insta; @janaya_khan on Twitter)@BlackQueerJoy on InstaRaquel Willis (@raquel_willis on Insta; @RaquelWillis_ on Twitter)Octavia's Chariot (@octavias_chariot on Insta; virtual Speed Friending event on Feb. 24th!)

We have a fashion-forward conversation with the OUTRAGEOUSLY stylish Amir Levi! Amir is a non-binary performer who uses the pronouns he, she, and they ("I like it when they get turns, so that none of them feel left out"), and their story has alllll the hallmarks of the late '90s: Coming out to your friend after seeing Scream 2! Guys from chat rooms calling your family's fax machine! Problematic senior yearbook quotes! Your dad offering to buy you porn! Amir explains how two acting roles they were playing simultaneously finally unlocked their understanding of their own gender, and the brilliant plan they concocted to explore their feminine side! Plus, Nicole shares a fascinating story about Leif that proves just how deeply heteronormativity runs in our culture...Follow Amir on Instagram at @theamirlevi, and check out theamirlevi.com!

There are two people without whom the podcast would literally not exist: one is Episode 87 guest Susan Miller, who introduced Lauren and Nicole to each other, and the other is today's guest, the unparalleled Samee Junio, who recorded OUR VERY FIRST EPISODE and heard ALL OF OUR SECRETS! Currently the Senior Audio Producer for Entertainment Weekly, Samee (they/them) grew up the youngest of five children in white, conservative, megachurch-heavy Colorado Springs, and used to change out of the dresses their parents made them wear as soon as they got to school. Today, their identifiers include non-binary, certified Good Boy (TM), horse girl, and of course, "human bowl of noodles." Samee shares the hilarious significance (and non-significance!) behind some of their many tattoos, and tells us the most emotionally-crushing, gay teenage angst story we have EVER heard. Plus, we stop being polite and start getting real about L.A.'s too-cool-for-school queer scene!Follow Samee on Twitter at @it_your_sam for tattoos, pizza, and pups! Also, the L.A. LGBT Center's safe 'n cozy social groups that we talk about at the end of this episode can all be found online at https://socialnet.lalgbtcenter.org/social-networking-groups/.

We chat with the FABULOUSLY queer Amir Yass, a content creator and TikTokker whose self-described job is "to make straight white men uncomfortable!" Amir grew up the child of immigrant parents in a conservative Muslim household in Orange County. How conservative? Let's just say his parents not only pulled him out of sex ed in middle school, they also moved houses because their neighbor was an out gay man. Amir shares how both therapy and comedy have helped him to destigmatize the shame he felt for so much of his life, and discusses how "coming in" is not just an affirming practice in general; it can also be a real lifesaver for those in situations where it simply isn't safe to come out. All this, plus that full-circle Hallmark moment when Grindr reconnects you with someone from your distant past!Follow Amir on Instagram and TikTok at @amiryassofficial, and feel free to DM him!

We cover some entirely new territory in a candid and vitally important conversation with Avi Roque, who voices Raine Whispers on The Owl House. Like many of us, Avi (they/them) had the ubiquitous "tomboy" label imposed upon them in childhood, and suffice to say it was a long and arduous road from there to their current trans/transmasculine identity. A consummate storyteller, Avi walks us through their entire journey, which includes leaning all the way into ultra-feminine stereotypes during high school, and hitting a scary rock bottom in adulthood that finally prompted them to begin the process of medically transitioning. Avi's story involves reckoning with their demons in a difficult, vulnerable, and honest way, and we hope this episode encourages nuanced dialogue about the human capacity for growth, change, and healing.(TW: mentions of assault and suicidal ideation, but nothing descriptive)Follow Avi on Instagram and TikTok at @avi_roque, and on Twitter at @ok_roque.

In July of last year, Nicole made an Instagram post announcing the adoption of her new puppy, Lily, named for Harry's mother in the Harry Potter series. Kai Katschthaler (they/them), a longtime fan of Nicole's who identifies as trans non-binary, was surprised that Nicole would pick this name due to the J. K. Rowling of it all, and commented something to this effect. Since this was all happening on social media...you can probably guess what ensued. The twist, though, is that Nicole and Kai decided to take things offline and actually talk face-to-face over Zoom, which ultimately led to Nicole inviting Kai onto the podcast! Kai starts by sharing their coming out story, and from there we tackle the *incredibly* sticky and nuanced topic of how (or even if) we can still incorporate the art we love into our lives when the people behind that art...suck. We talk TRAUMA! We talk INTENT! But above all, we talk compassion and empathy. We're so grateful to Kai for having this conversation with us, and we can't wait to hear what you all think!Follow Kai on Twitter and drop them a request on Instagram at @thegrumpyenby! Also, check out their Linktree at https://linktr.ee/thegrumpyenby, and explore Taboola Rasa at https://taboolarasa.org/ and @taboolarasaproj everywhere.

We're starting the new year with a longtime friend of the pod whose *very* distinctive name can be heard each and every week on our list of patrons: that's right, it's Pooh! Pooh hails from Alaska, and is NOT kidding when she says that the story of her life is basically "many, many Lifetime movies." From getting married off at seventeen to a "family friend" who was four decades her senior, to being personally responsible for helping to get domestic violence laws passed in Texas, Pooh has navigated some unfathomably difficult circumstances (abuse, life-threatening illness, etc.) with an INCREDIBLE amount of grace and humor. She shares some of the most impactful stories from her life, including how her platonic poly family has rallied around her in the wake of a recent health diagnosis. All this, plus the kiss heard 'round the world at FaberryCon!Follow Pooh on Twitter at @rqficrecs and on Instagram at @poohtine7.

We're so excited to be releasing the episode of The Bechdel Cast that we both guested on back in June of 2019! Listen to us discuss allllllll the gay goodness of the *classic* holiday film Carol, and remember: always leave your gloves behind if you want to help a repressed shopgirl have her lesbian awakening.Follow The Bechdel Cast at @BechdelCast, and follow hosts Caitlin and Jamie at @caitlindurante and @jamieloftusHELP (@jamiechristsuperstar on Insta).

HAPPY HOLIGAYS, Y'ALL!!! It's our annual Listener Mailbag episode, and we got *so* many great questions from you this year! We discuss a wide variety of queer queries, ranging from the serious (what to do about transphobic colleagues and how to check in with a loved one re: their mental health) to the sexy! Listen as we share resources and spicy personal anecdotes; plus, Lauren closes out the year by throwing us a GENUINE CURVEBALL. May your holidays be merry and very, very, gay, and we'll see you all in 2023!As always, we'll be taking next week off, but check your feed on Wednesday for a special *bonus* episode all about the GREATEST LESBIAN CHRISTMAS MOVIE OF ALL TIME! (No; not Happiest Season.)

In the past couple of years, the term "DEI" has started popping up *a lot* online, to the point where Googling just those three letters turns up hundreds of hits! However, you would not be alone in admitting that you maybe don't exactly know what DEI...like...is. Fortunately, Lily Zheng (author of the recently-published "DEI Deconstructed: Your No-Nonsense Guide to Doing the Work and Doing It Right") is here to explain everything; not only in layperson's terms, but from a queer perspective! In an incredibly wide-reaching conversation, Lily (they/them) explains how both the acronym "LGBT" and the phrase "people of color" originated as solidarity terms, and demolishes the maddening argument that "it's actually *harder* to be a straight white man right now..." (complete with factual data you can share with all the butthurt people in your life!). Plus, Lauren tells a story that demonstrates why you should NEVER host a tequila drinking contest in your college apartment!Check out https://lilyzheng.co/home/ for more info on Lily (including links to all of their books!), and connect with them on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/lilyzheng308/.

Throughout her adolescence, Iris Liu ticked off a number of familiar boxes: SUPER good ally; "isn't *everybody* attracted to their friends...?"; all the greatest hits. But it wasn't until she fell in with the rugby team at college that Iris finally had her Aha! moment ("It was like, all of a sudden, all my friends were lesbians"). Today, Iris identifies as both queer and polyamorous, but it's been a hard-won journey that's involved, among other things, "trying to break some generational curses." Iris shares what it was like to unexpectedly meet Her Person (TM) - who just so happened to be a cis man - before she'd had a chance to explore her feelings for women, and how having the terrifying "I think I'm poly" conversation with him ended up bringing them much closer together. Also, we tackle the eternal question: are you the person in the relationship who's afraid of losing your partner, or the person in the relationship who's afraid of losing *yourself*?Check out Iris' gorgeous website at https://www.irisliuart.com/, and follow her on Instagram at @irisliuofficial!

If you've ever wondered what could make a lawyer leave their profession to create the world's first undies for oral sex (and who among us hasn't?), then this is the episode for YOU! Melanie Cristol, Founder & CEO of Lorals, discovered she was queer in college; a realization that so deeply influenced her sense of social justice that she ended up going to law school. As a lawyer, Melanie went to work fighting for people, including on one case with Lambda Legal that brought gay marriage to the Western United States! But then something that happened (or rather, *didn't* happen) on her honeymoon gave her the idea for Lorals, and Melanie found that she just couldn't get it out of her head... We have a fantastic conversation all about the inequity of dental dams, the stigma surrounding STIs, and the WORLD-CHANGING benefits of great oral sex!Learn about all things Lorals at https://mylorals.com/, and enter the code "comingoutpod" at checkout for 15% off! Also follow Lorals and Melanie on...TikTok & Insta: @mylorals / @melaniecristolTwitter: @mylorals / @melcristol

Eden Robinson's story has a little bit of everything: A dad who was both a rabbi *and* a pastor! Marlee Matlin as a gateway drug to The L Word! Kate McKinnon as the final nail in the coffin for compulsory heterosexuality! Eden shares how, despite an upbringing where she was praised for questioning everything, she nevertheless was too frightened to truly interrogate her own sexuality until she was much older. Plus, the confusing difficulty of finding femme lesbian representation IRL, and the choice to have a "low contact" relationship with a challenging parent.We also open this episode with a conversation about the recent tragedy that took place at Club Q in Colorado Springs. Rest in peace Daniel Davis Aston, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump, and Raymond Green Vance. May their memory be a blessing.Check out all things Eden at https://www.fangirlfit.com/, and follow her on Instagram at both @fangirlfit and @writing.eden.

Last week, America held its midterm elections, and many of us were nervously anticipating a so-called "red wave." What ended up happening, however, was a red...and orange...*and* yellow...*AND*--okay; we're just gonna cut to the chase: IT WAS A RAINBOW WAVE!!! Lauren and Nicole take a week off from coming out stories to discuss the historic wins queer candidates had in this pivotal, record-breaking election, and what it means for the country. Nicole gives a quick-and-dirty civics lesson! Lauren learns that AOC is not, in fact, a senator! We also announce our fourth annual Listener Mailbag episode, and much more! God Bless America, kinda!HELP RAPHAEL WARNOCK WIN THE GEORGIA RUNOFF! Tons of things you can do here, regardless of where you live: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xOm2N3kde8A617xdGt_mkR5cR5aTslFXyqxNBZby9v4/edit?usp=sharing. And don't forget to get your questions in for next month's listener mailbag! *And* check out https://www.comingoutpod.com/media for the free trans Zoom groups Lauren mentioned, as well as a bunch of other resources! *AND* find one-of-a-kind holiday gifts for all the queers in your life at https://www.beyondclexa.com/!

We have officially set a new record with this week's guest Tricia Friedman, who has lived in a whopping *eight* countries as a result of her longtime work as an educator! And as if that weren't exciting enough, Tricia also gifts us with our first coming out story to ever involve being mistaken for a spy by Russian authorities WHO IS THIS WOMAN OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE?! From humble beginnings in New Jersey, Tricia details how her initial move to China gave her the continents-wide space she felt she needed to finally feel comfortable living as a "super-charged lesbian." She also explains how meeting her wife during her travels and constantly moving together as a queer couple provided a unique window into what it's like to be out in a multitude of different countries ("I feel like my coming outs are kind of in the hundreds"). All this, plus Nicole finally lets our listeners in on her *day job*...Follow Tricia on Twitter at @tricia_fried, and check out learning organizations https://allyed.org/ and https://www.shiftingschools.com/! Also, listen to Be a Better Ally, Shifting Schools, and Unhinged Collaboration wherever you get your podcasts, and hit Tricia up if you'd like to be a guest on Be a Better Ally (Lauren guested on Episode 98!).

We have a rapid-fire discussion about one of our all-time favorite topics: queer female representation in media! Karen Frost describes herself as a "professional lesbian dabbler," but that majorly downplays the WEALTH of knowledge she has as a result of ceaselessly mining the data for queer TV shows, films, and web series! We discuss how (and why) projects like Nicole's As Love Goes face increasing difficulty when it comes to funding, and why outlets like Autostraddle are having trouble staying afloat. We also address the anger in our community over how many queer female-fronted shows have been cancelled recently (spoiler alert: direct your rage more towards sexism than homophobia...). Plus, we wax nostalgic (or rather, *non*-nostalgic) about how there used to be so few queer female characters on TV that you LITERALLY knew all of them, and Karen shares how Xena: Warrior Princess kickstarted her entire career path!Follow Karen at @Lez_Dish on both Twitter and Instagram, and listen to Peaches Aren't the Only Fruit and GossipINT wherever you get your podcasts. Also, check out https://www.karenfrostbooks.com/ for info on all of Karen's books!

It's Intersex Awareness Day, and we are thrilled and honored to at long last have on our first ever out intersex guest, the brilliant Val Hill! Val (they/she) is a queer intersex community advocate who facilitates the group Club Intersex for the L.A. LGBT Center, so you would never in a million years guess that, pre-pandemic, she didn't even *know* the umbrella term "intersex!" Val shares how a routine sports physical at the age of fifteen led to them learning that they have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS), something they thought was a random genetic occurrence specific to their family. It wasn't until decades later during lockdown that Val finally discovered the robust intersex community that exists online, and fully embraced the beautiful "liminal space" that intersex folks inhabit. We learned a ton in this episode, and we're so grateful to Val for having this truly expansive conversation with us!Follow Val on Instagram at @lookwhatvalposted, and check out the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex group at @clubintersex! Also mentioned in this episode...Intersex activist Tatenda Ngwaru's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/safety-and-wellbeing-for-tatenda-ngwaruAdditional intersex folks and orgs to follow on Instagram: @intersexjusticeproject / @interconnect_support / @saifaemerges / @pidgeon / @xoxy_alicia / @red.moonprojectThe Intersex Awareness Day 2022 Insta Live that Val did with Jahni Laggett (@queen_jahni_) is posted on Club Intersex's Insta at https://www.instagram.com/p/CkMp3Yap65Z/

At the age of nineteen, journalist and author Jessi Hempel came out. Tale as old as time, right? But far less traveled territory is what proceeded to happen over the next several years: four out of five members of Jessi's immediate family - including her father - *ALSO* came out! Two decades later, in the midst of lockdown-induced isolation, Jessi, her parents, and her two younger siblings somewhat unexpectedly began turning to each other for support, despite their tumultuous family history. Equally unexpectedly, Jessi found herself wanting to revisit the deeply-vulnerable five-year period during which every single one of them (including Jessi's mother, in a different way) came out of the closets they had been trapped in. The end result is the newly-released, Glennon Doyle-endorsed memoir "The Family Outing," and we were absolutely thrilled to get to talk to Jessi all about it! Plus, we get into identity politics, and the *particular* way we all judge our parents' relationships...Look for "The Family Outing" wherever books are sold! You can also connect with Jessi on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessihempel/, and check out her award-winning podcast, Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel.

Surprise! We're dropping this week's episode a day early because IT'S NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL! And we're celebrating in a big way with none other than actor Janet Varney, who voices bicon Korra on The Legend of Korra! Janet was never "in" the closet ("The first kisses I ever had were with girls, and that never stopped"), so she found it confusing when the internet informed her that she had "come out." She discusses the eye-opening experience she had doing a comic-con in a not-so-queer-friendly part of the country, and shares how she put all the *complicated female friendship angst* of her youth into the lesbian character she played on Burning Love. We also delve into the maddening stereotypes that bisexual women have to deal with while dating (Women are afraid you'll leave them for a man! Men are afraid you'll cheat because you MISS BOOBS!), and Janet spills the details of her *extremely* relatable Jodie Foster obsession...Follow Janet on Twitter at @janetvarney and on Instagram at @thejvclub, and listen to The JV Club wherever you get your pods!

Actor, writer, and longtime friend of Nicole's, Doug Plaut (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate), had what can only be described as a roughhhhh childhood. When Doug (they/he) began exhibiting non-heteronormative traits at an early age ("I was a four-year-old who loved Barbara Streisand"), his parents sought out medical intervention. By late high school, Doug had seen eleven psychiatrists, and been on a whopping *seventeen* different medications. Doug recounts his struggles with exercise bulimia, his hilarious/enviable desire to identify most as "a strange person who, like, lives in the woods," and the incredible 180 his father did in recent years. Also, his beautiful friendship with Charles Busch, and the life-changing production of The Sound of Music in which he and Nicole played von Trapp siblings!Follow Doug on Instagram at @dougplautperson and on Twitter at @DougPlaut.

We're closing out Bi Visibility Month with makeup artist, photographer, and Leif Pacent-Lindquist's "Number One" Babysitter, Kyrsta Morehouse! Kyrsta grew up in a small, conservative town in Northern California and was raised in a "very Christian" home. However, when she became aware of her attraction to women, it wasn't being a lesbian that Kyrsta was afraid of, but rather "living in that weird liminal space." In fact, Kyrsta found herself praying to God to just make her straight *or* gay. Kyrsta discusses moving to L.A. all alone at eighteen, why "bi" resonates with her more strongly than "pan" (even though they're equally accurate labels for her), and how finding the pod during quarantine led Kyrsta to the L.A. LGBT Center's Biosphere group, which in turn led her to her partner!Follow Kyrsta on Instagram at @kyrstashae, and follow her AMAZING makeup artist account at @kyrstamua!

Episode 33 guest Ash Holzer returns for an episode we've really been looking forward to, because WOW have things changed in her life since she was first on the pod! When we spoke to Ash (formerly "Ashley") in January of 2019, she had recently been part of the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group; she and her husband were living on different sides of the same house while co-parenting their three children, and legal separation papers had been filed. Fast forward to today: Ash and her husband are still cohabitating...but in a very different manner. Ash discusses the whirlwind relationship she had with a woman shortly after our initial recording ("it was really great until it wasn't"), how she unexpectedly fell back in love with her partner during the pandemic, and how she's navigated the fear that doing so would somehow erase all her growth over the past three-and-a-half years. Above all, Ash details how she's learned to follow her heart while also using her head, and the delicate balance of "trying not to let one get ahead of the other."Follow Ash on Instagram at @asholza!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

We talk to one of our co-facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Tawni Sofia Acosta! Tawni is sixty-two, and was born at a time when there was zero information on being transgender ("or if there was information, it was just the freak show information"). As a result, she had no language to explain what she was feeling; she only knew that if she expressed it to her family and friends, things would not go well. Tawni ended up suppressing her true identity so ferociously that she didn't even begin addressing it until she was in her fifties...at which point she had been in a hetero-presenting marriage for over twenty years. Tawni explains how her need to see herself as female kept intensifying until she finally had to face it head on, and shares what that meant for her marriage, her job, and more. She also describes how transitioning gave her a courage she'd never had before, and unexpectedly led her to her new career as a hypnotherapist!(TW: discussion of suicidal ideation)Follow Tawni on Instagram at @acostatawni, and on Twitter at @TawniSofia. You can also connect with her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TawniSofiaAcosta, on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/tsacosta, or schedule a discovery/strategy call with her at https://calendly.com/tawnisofia/strategy-call!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

We bask in the glow of the LUSCIOUSLY-MANED Garrett Schlichte (he/they)! When Nicole heard Garrett's essay "My Relationship Guru Is a 14-Year-Old Girl" on the Modern Love podcast, she knew we had to have him on to talk about "second adolescence," or as it is affectionately known in our community, "queer puberty." Garrett was in the fourth grade when he first got called "gay" by a classmate (because "people have eyes"), and was subsequently so afraid of being seen for who he was that he went through a bully phase in high school. He shares how being gay eventually grew to become his favorite thing about himself, and presents a beautiful argument as to why it is the responsibility of straight allies to *make* the world safe for us, rather than just fearing for our safety. Also, we take '90s rom-coms to TASK for their straight, cis, monogamy-exclusive transgressions!Check out all of Garrett's work on his website, https://www.garrettschlichte.com/, and follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @gschlichte.This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

Uh oh! We have a new BFF in Nashville and it's singer/songwriter GODDESS, Nicole Serrano! Nicole (she/they) identifies as non-binary ("I feel like 'female-plus'"), and remembers having crushes on girls as early as preschool. Growing up in the Pentecostal Church, however, meant constant messaging that "gay people were going to Hell," so when it came to her burgeoning sexuality, Nicole says, "I knew what I knew, but it was never an option." Meanwhile, she was singing regularly in church and began writing her own music at fourteen, which led to her gaining a sizeable following in the Christian music scene. Nicole shares how the intense stress of repressing her true identity eventually landed her in the hospital, and walks us through the moment she came out as gay on Good Morning America (talk about a baptism by fire! (no pun intended!)). She also discusses finally writing the music she really wants to write, and we get the scoop on her upcoming album all about coming out!Follow Nicole on Instagram at @nicoleserrano, and listen to her music on all of the usual music-listening platforms!This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

In the grand tradition of Sappho, Audre Lorde, and probably Emily Dickinson (just sayin'), the pod finally hosts our first ever lesbian poet! Sofia Fey has always "just gravitated towards terms that felt right," and found reclaiming the word "lesbian" to be important to them. However, it wasn't until years later when they began identifying as non-binary and exclusively using they/them pronouns that they finally felt like they were being seen. In addition to being a non-binary lesbian, Sofia also identifies as demisexual, which gives us the opportunity to delve deeper into demisexuality than we ever have before (get ready for some in-real-time Googling!). All this, plus Sofia graces us with not one, but *two* live poetry readings! YOU WILL FEEL SO CULTURED AFTER THIS EPISODE!Follow Sofia on Twitter and Instagram at @sofiafeycreates, and follow the Luminaries poetry workshop on Twitter at @luminouspoets. Most importantly, read Sofia's poetry and fiction (and find out about their live readings) at http://www.sofiafey.com/! And if you'd like to reach out to Sofia about any of their work, you can drop them a line at [email protected].

Raised in a traditional Middle Eastern family, author and podcaster George Azar ("My Gay Church Days") knew that he was attracted to men even before puberty hit. But when his older brother came out in middle school and was summarily put into therapy, George receded even further into the closet. He became a Young Republican in order to gain his father's approval, and was subsequently drawn to Christianity, which promised a "remedy" for his homosexuality. George excelled so much in the way of the Church that he became a pastor, all the while being told - and believing - that his queerness was a gateway to (you guessed it!) pedophilia and bestiality. His journey towards self-acceptance included seeing a "conversion therapy specialist," and eventually doing his own deep dive on what the Bible *actually* says about homosexuality. Despite everything he's been through, George is absolutely EFFERVESCENT, and he shares his story with an incredible amount of grace and humor!Follow George everywhere at @mygaychurchdays, and check out https://www.mygaychurchdays.com/ for all the info on George's book, podcast, and more!

It's a conversation that's been four years in the making! In her first appearance on the pod back in Episode 9, Lauren Ludwig (she/they) told us her coming out story, and detailed a number of parallels that it shared with her own mother's journey, which started back when Lauren was a child. Now, in a special guest co-host episode, Lauren and Lauren (double your Laurens, double your fun!) at long last sit down with Randi Ludwig, the woman who LITERALLY started it all! Randi was born in 1955, and genuinely never questioned her sexuality until she unexpectedly fell in love with a woman in the late '80s...at which point she was already happily married with two children. She describes the absolute *terror* she felt at this revelation, and how difficult it was to navigate a situation that had caught her completely off guard. We cover everything from internalized homophobia to feminist bookstores; plus, Randi shares how Lauren's poly coming out initially triggered a trauma response in her as a direct result of her own past struggles. It's an absolutely one of a kind mother-daughter-pansexual-poly EXTRAVAGANZA!If you'd like to get in touch with Randi, feel free to reach out to her via Lauren at @ludwigmonster on Instagram!

Nicole is in Sweden, so we're taking the week off! But since Lauren is *not* in Sweden, she wanted to briefly hop on the mic to give some alternate listening suggestions, tease next week's very exciting episode, and share the single most lesbian thing she's ever done! Please enjoy all of her lip smacks and "um's" - she had to edit this minisode herself, and has absolutely no idea what she is doing!Links to the other podcast episodes Lauren and Nicole have guested on...The Bechdel Cast:https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cSd7h2JpivuVjZiS1ZZsn?si=yweNSp66SPKTTf-gIdYpjw (Both of us!)Dyking Out:https://open.spotify.com/episode/32CAZqrYD2xffmTuCSd50j?si=ldPZdP6cQ0W4n0MYWcMaIQ (Lauren!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mWNpot7QszA9JVdZg3nJ2 (Nicole!)Lez Hang Out:https://open.spotify.com/episode/1xYLVa9PaBfFAf6Gyd5ik1?si=S8G_eMJyRhencnxvKFmzQQ (Nicole!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/7G8LO4KmMLL1com3v1ECyp?si=0APJ3v2qTnWHDHRV25LS-Q (Lauren!)The DTALKS Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/episode/3sFZsAApk7DLHtwVCLIHYE?si=tc0DG4JNQvyTx3Ho0DCIpA (Nicole!)https://open.spotify.com/episode/48QIGnft1aWjfRHNYOaZXj?si=RuDHbJ6uQaWSYqJHW5GmnA (Also Nicole!)

When she was first on the podcast back in December of 2018, Valentina D'Alessandro had only been in the U.S. for three years, and had been married to her wife Cynthia for just under two. What we did *not* reveal during that episode was the fact that she and Cynthia had also spent the past year trying for a baby. At that point, they were still hopeful, despite a number of emotional, biological, and financial hurdles that they'd already encountered. But after five years of trying absolutely everything they could to conceive, they were forced to come to terms with the fact that it was not meant to be. Valentina shares all aspects of the emotional rollercoaster she's been on for half a decade, and how the grief of infertility led her and Cynthia down the path of fostering. This episode is a beautiful and candid look at what it means to become a family, and we are so grateful to Valentina for sharing such an intimate part of her life.Check out the *fantastic* resource Valentina has created (plus adorable pictures) at @queerfosterfam on Instagram!

Shohreh Davoodi (host of the Conjuring Up Courage podcast) has had a...tumultuous couple of years, to say the least. Raised in the strict, expectation-heavy Baháʼí Faith, Shohreh was always regarded as the "black sheep of the family." But the fact that she was naturally more feminine-presenting meant that her queerness didn't ping for anybody, including herself! Shohreh shares how her slowly-dawning awareness of her sexuality led her to the painful decision to end her marriage, but also guided her to her work as a self-trust coach for queer folks (in Shohreh's own words: "I help people come home to themselves"). We also talk about the importance of taking a break *before* your body forces you to, and Shohreh tells us the MOST lesbian first-date story we have ever heard!Check out Shohreh's website at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/, follow her everywhere at @shohrehdavoodi, and listen to all 133 episodes of Conjuring Up Courage wherever you get your pods! Also, be the first to know when Shohreh's hiatus is over by signing up for her Queer Agenda newsletter at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/subscribe/!

We've got J.P. Der Boghossian (he/they), creator of the Queer Armenian Library and host of the brand new podcast, This Queer Book Saved My Life! J.P. grew up with messaging from his religious Armenian community that AIDS and hate crimes were "divine punishment" for being gay; as a result, he believed well into his twenties that he was going to die young. J.P. walks us through his unexpected brush with mortality, what it means to be a queer Armenian-American, and how he went from never being in a relationship longer than six weeks to becoming part of a polyamorous throuple that's celebrating their eleventh anniversary this year!(TW: discussion of suicide attempt/ideation)Follow J.P. on Twitter and Instagram at @jpderboghossian, and make sure you check out the Queer Armenian Library at https://queerarmenianlibrary.com/ (@readtheQAL on Twitter and Insta)! Also, listen to This Queer Book Saved My Life! at https://thisqueerbook.com/ or wherever you get your pods, and follow them on everywhere at @thisqueerbook!

Kerry Spencer Pray and Jenn Lee Smith met in Affirmation, an organization for LGBTQIA+ Mormons. Kerry had just realized that she was queer; Jenn had been out for longer, but as an Asian-American, she was struggling with the overwhelming whiteness (not to mention maleness) of the only available queer Mormon spaces. Jenn and Kerry clicked immediately as friends, and Jenn pitched the idea for what would eventually become "I Spoke to You with Silence: Essays from Queer Mormons of Marginalized Genders" (which just sold out during its first week on Amazon!). Kerry and Jenn share the different trajectories their lives have taken since coming out, and we discuss the beauty and freedom of unconventional relationship structures. Plus, Lauren does a live reading of an essay from the book THAT SHE HERSELF IS FEATURED IN! Umm...#FOUNDLAUREN?!Follow Kerry on Twitter at @swilua and on Instagram at @swilua_, and keep up with Jenn on Instagram via @bewilderfilm (or connect with her on Facebook)! You can purchase "I Spoke to You with Silence" at https://uofupress.lib.utah.edu/i-spoke-to-you-with-silence/ or at your local bookstore (or, yes, FINE; also on Amazon). And find links below to a bunch of the things we discussed during the episode!Queer Mormon Witches: https://www.qmwproject.com"Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire" by Lisa M. Diamond: https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Fluidity-Understanding-Womens-Desire/dp/0674032268"The Dilemma of Desire" (feat. Lisa M. Diamond): https://www.sho.com/titles/3509856/the-dilemma-of-desireJenn's short film "Faithful": https://vimeo.com/ondemand/faithfulmormonfilm

We're capping off a fantastic Pride Month with the publisher of DIVA, the world's largest LGBTQIA+ magazine for female-identifying and non-binary people! DIVA has been around since 1994, but Linda Riley became the title's first ever lesbian owner in 2015. She shares the story of how she came out to her mother at fifteen and was offered the choice of "psychiatry" (aka electroshock therapy), or leaving home. Linda promptly left home and school, and what followed were years of her finding and building her queer community; not only in her native London, but also in San Francisco during the AIDS crisis. She describes how activism was intertwined with queer social life in the '80s, and how she ultimately ended up in the magazine industry. Plus, Linda talks trans allyship, founding Lesbian Visibility Week, and her Twitter beef with JK Rowling!Follow DIVA on Twitter and Instagram at @divamagazine, and follow Linda individually on Instagram at @diversityriley, and on Twitter at @lindariley8 (where you can help her fight any future Twitter battles!). Also, as Linda mentioned, DIVA will soon be changing over to a new URL, but for now, check them out and subscribe at https://divamag.co.uk/!

We have a *hilarious* conversation with actor Erica Luttrell (Lost Girl; Salvation; Mayans M.C.), who voices lesbian icon Sapphire on Steven Universe! Back when she was younger, Erica made a point of differentiating between her platonic female crushes (Gillian Anderson) and her non-platonic male crushes (you will genuinely never guess who). But the formative experience of seeing Shakespeare in Love brought up some feelings she could no longer ignore, and kicked off a five-ish year internal struggle with her sexuality. Erica reads some GLORIOUS journal entries from that time in her life, and discusses how she eventually grew to identify as "homoromantic demi-pansexual" (but also just "gay"). Plus, she shares how she *still* gets cast almost exclusively in make-out-with-a-dude roles, even after publicly coming out! WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE, HOLLYWOOD?!?Follow Erica everywhere at @shukrani.

Activist and author Edafe Okporo ("Asylum: A Memoir & Manifesto") is a truly incredible human being. Born and raised in Nigeria when homosexuality was heavily condemned (but not yet criminalized), Edafe hid his sexuality by joining the ministry in college. Though he eventually left to become an activist and work at an HIV/AIDS clinic, everything changed in 2014 when homosexuality was made illegal in his country. Edafe details the harrowing story of how he was attacked by a mob and subsequently fled Nigeria...only to land in a U.S. detention center for months on end as a refugee. He describes the emotional whiplash he experienced going from life-threatening trauma to suddenly having to be "fabulously gay in New York," and how therapy has helped him on that journey. Today, Edafe is THRIVING, and it was an utter joy to talk to him!Follow Edafe everywhere at @edafeokporo. Also, check out his beautiful website (and order his BOOK!) at https://www.edafeokporo.com/.

A Functional Medicine Nurse Practitioner! A Certified Breathwork Meditation Guide! A self-identified "Deep Lez!" Victoria Albina (she/they; Feminist Wellness podcast) was born in Argentina, but by her early teens, her family had immigrated to the greatest state in the union (Rhode Island), and she was secretly attending a "tiny homo support group." Victoria shares how her queer Latina origins led her to the healing work she does with other marginalized folks, and how the #positivevibesonly movement is actually *detrimental* to our mental health. She also leads us in two simple somatic exercises in real time, and we introduce Nicole to the *life-changing* k.d. lang/Cindy Crawford Vanity Fair cover from 1993! Do we keep erroneously referring to it as a Rolling Stone cover from 1992? LOOK, WE WERE FLUSTERED, OKAY??Victoria gives good gram at @victoriaalbinawellness, and you can listen to Feminist Wellness wherever you get your pods. Also, make sure you go to http://www.victoriaalbina.com/comingout to check out the FREE suite of meditations and exercises Victoria created just for our listeners!

It's officially Pride Month, and we're kicking things off with an UN-F$@#!NG-BELIEVABLE guest!! At thirteen years old, Jay Toole (known to all as Super Butch) came home with a flat top hair cut, and was promptly kicked out for good. Jay headed straight for the West Village, and before long, she was taken in by a community of homeless queer kids in Washington Square Park. What followed was over twenty-five years of living on the street, and some of the most amazing stories we have EVER heard on the podcast! It's impossible to do justice to this episode in a blurb, but among other things, Jay discusses the stints she did at the famed Women's House of Detention, and her experience AT THE STONEWALL RIOTS!!! Jay is an indispensable (and *hilarious*) resource for our community, and we cannot emphasize enough what an honor it was to talk to her. Happy Pride, everybody!(TW: passing mentions of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)You can honest-to-God contact Jay at the number she gave out in this episode! She's also on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Superbutch, and her website is https://www.jaytoole.com/.

Get ready to FEAST YOUR EARS on the Southern drawl of public speaker, advocate, and Lesflicks writer, Sarah-Cate! From living alone by age nine, to bouncing around group homes through her teens, to years spent unhoused as a young adult, Sarah-Cate's story is equal parts devastating and deeply inspiring. And despite living her entire life in very conservative parts of Texas, Sarah-Cate always, *always* made the choice to be out as queer. She explains how she went from life as a homeless young person with zero queer people in her orbit, to managing Lesflicks' Community Amplification Network, traveling the country to advocate for positive representation, and working with LGBTQ youth organizations. Also, Sarah-Cate identifies as aromantic and says she's "not a monogamous creature," and we get all the deets!We've got a whole bunch of stuff for you this episode! Follow Sarah-Cate on Instagram at @s.c.peregrine, and at her *new* Twitter handle (not the one she gives in the ep!), @sarahcaitlin. Read her work at https://www.lesflicks.com/, and check out the Community Amplification Network she manages at https://audience.lesflicks.com/c/hello! Also, the Texas LGBTQ youth org that Sarah-Cate mentioned is https://www.lgbtqsaves.org/. They're located in Fort Worth, but also do things virtually! Lastly, check out Sarah-Cate's fan site, Fleet of Fandoms, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FleetofFandoms!

Not only is queer relationship coach Liana Griebsch an absolute joy, she is also one of the most SELF-AWARE people we've encountered! By the end of high school, straight-A-rule-follower Liana had already cleared the massive hurdles of accepting her gayness, and coming out to her Mexican Catholic mother. But a series of unsatisfying partnerships in college ultimately led her to a bold declaration: "I'm not entering into any relationship until I actually understand [how to do] this." And thus, a Queer Love and Relationship Coach was BORN! This episode is so valuable for both those in relationships *and* those struggling with being single. Nicole asks about limiting beliefs for ethically non-monogamous folks! Lauren asks about being alone! Liana gives us tools to help us be gentle with ourselves! It's an enlightening and uplifting conversation.Follow Liana on Instagram at @lianagriebsch, and check out her incredibly comprehensive website at https://lianagriebsch.com/!

Strap in and strap-on for this VERY HORNY EPISODE!! Unflinchingly-authentic comedian and actor Abe Farrelly (Curb Your Enthusiasm; Netflix Is A Joke Fest) is back as our first ever post-transition guest! Abe discusses how his standup - which used to lean heavily on the butch lesbian jokes - was "a big tell" when it came to realizing he needed to transition, and how he sees comedy as an opportunity to educate audiences without lecturing them. He also shares the beautiful ways in which his parents have adjusted to his new identity, and how his 89-year-old, Catholic Mass-attending grandmother has become his biggest supporter! Plus, Abe reveals all of the surprising changes he has gone through since starting testosterone (spoiler alert: no tree stump is safe, and Rob Lowe is the only person who can make him cry).Follow Abe on Instagram at @abfarrelly, and on TikTok at @abefarrelly!

Actor, writer, and VO artist Lisa Cordileone heard "no" so many times that it prompted her to create her own work, which led to the lesbian web series Easy Abby and the feature Freelancers Anonymous! But while Lisa's queer life away from home was thriving, the time she spent with her family back in North Carolina was radically different. Lisa gets candid about her lifelong journey with shame, and how it was impacted by the fact that her parents took a long time to come around. She also spills her plans to create "a Marvel Universe for women in STEM," and we go on a Queer Elder (TM) mini-rant about how WE HAVE TO KNOW OUR HISTORY!!!Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisa.cordileone, and watch Easy Abby at https://watch.revry.tv/details/30205 and Freelancers Anonymous at https://www.freelancersanonymousmovie.com/!

We've had a number of asexual-identified guests on the podcast, but for the first time ever, we are thrilled to be speaking to an asexual couple! Courtney and Royce (who go by "The Ace Couple" online) are about to celebrate eight years of marriage. They share how they each came to understand their asexuality prior to meeting, and regale us with their UNFATHOMABLY cinematic love story! We also answer listener questions concerning the ace spectrum, and Courtney and Royce describe what intimacy - which is *not* synonymous with sex! - looks like for them. Plus, we dig into attraction vs. action, asexuality vs. no/low libido, graysexuality, and much more! It's a fascinating episode that speaks to *all* manner of relationships!There are so many ways to keep up with Courtney and Royce online! Check out www.theacecouple.com for their podcast (including transcripts and closed captioned eps on YouTube!), and follow them on Twitter at @The_Ace_Couple. If you're part of the a-spec community and would like to participate in their "A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism" discord channel and/or Zoom book club, you can hear all of the details and get the links in the April 6th episode of their podcast (entitled "New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism"). Lastly, you can check out the interviews that Courtney conducted with disabled members of the a-spec community at https://aceweek.org/stories/why-i-m-founding-disabled-ace-day. And make sure you follow The Ace Couple on Twitter to find out how they'll be celebrating Disabled Ace Day in October of this year!

Ben Siemon is an animation writer at Disney, and he loves his job. But when the infamous "Don't Say Gay" bill was on its way to becoming law in Florida and Disney didn't come out against it (AND was revealed to have donated to the politicians behind it), Ben got upset. So upset, in fact, that one day last month he made a video explaining why Disney's silence was dangerous in general, and hurtful to the company's LGBTQ employees specifically. Ben's video ended up going viral, prompting other Disney writers and actors to speak up as well. Within several days, Disney's CEO had issued a statement. Ben helps us wade through Disney's complicated history with the queer community, and provides some insight as to what we can do when a company we love is causing harm. Plus, he tells us how his own coming out collided with a NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE!Follow and help amplify Ben on Twitter at @BenjaminJS, and watch his *hilarious* Barbie doll brunch videos at @brunchtheseries on TikTok!

Nicky Endres (they/she; Hulu's The Dropout) contains so many intersecting identities that they've come up with a comprehensive way to introduce themself: "I am an adopted, Asian-American, non-binary, transfeminine, queer actor, comic, voice artist, and audiobook narrator." How's THAT for a mic drop?? Growing up with white parents in a small town in Wisconsin, Nicky was aware of the ways in which their identity didn't fit the mold, and actually embraced this from the word go. In an extremely thought-provoking conversation, we discuss the expansiveness of the umbrella term "trans," and the inherent power that comes from abandoning the illusion of certainty and simply admitting "I don't know." Also, Nicky blesses us with the A+ phrase "a Schrödinger's cat of gender" -- PUT IT ON A T-SHIRT!Find all things Nicky at www.nickyendres.com, and follow them everywhere at @mxnickye.

It's International Asexuality Day, and we're absolutely thrilled to have on activist, model, and writer, Yasmin Benoit! Throughout school, Yasmin was constantly singled out by the other girls for not being Team Edward *or* Team Jacob (it was 2009, y'all). When she learned about asexuality online, Yasmin immediately identified with it, but when she tried to come out, she found herself consistently met with the ever-popular "but you don't *look* asexual." Yasmin shares the factors (including race) that led her to create #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, and explains how she eventually felt it was also necessary for her to come out as aromantic. Plus, Yasmin tells us all about how she collaborated with Stonewall UK to create the UK's first ever asexual rights project, which launches TODAY!Follow Yasmin on Twitter and Instagram at @theyasminbenoit, and check out her writing and her INCREDIBLE modeling shots at https://www.yasminbenoit.co.uk/! And to learn all about the Stonewall x Yasmin Benoit Ace Project, go to https://www.stonewall.org.uk/stonewall-x-yasmin-benoit-ace-project!

Nicole met the gorgeous-inside-and-out Koren Porras (he/they) in a dance class, and the two of them immediately bonded over being bisexual (and "very woo woo"). Koren grew up in the "deep, deep south" of New Orleans and Texas, and found himself othered more for his North African/Native American heritage than for his burgeoning sexuality/non-binary identity. He explains how not fitting into any particular box actually spared him from bullying, and shares how a traumatic loss he experienced at twenty-two prompted him to stop "flying under the radar," and live fully as his true self. We also fangirl over Koren's '90s DiCaprio hair, and discuss the horny music videos that were part of our queer awakenings!Follow/message Koren on Instagram at @koren.siren!

We have a *delightful* time with writer, film analyst, and green-haired swamp queen GODDESS, BJ Colangelo! BJ breaks down the ways in which queerness and the horror genre are intrinsically linked, and details the incredible impact that Chris Sarandon - NOT Susan! - has had on her understanding of attraction. She also shares her experiences as a cis woman married to a trans woman, and discusses reclaiming the word "lesbian" from bad faith actors. Plus, BJ tells us a story SO MIND-BLOWING, we can't even tease it!!!Follow BJ on TikTok (queer sh*t), Twitter (angry queer sh*t and film stuff), and Instagram (very dumb photos) at @bjcolangelo. And check out This Ends At Prom (@thisendsatprom on Twitter and Instagram) wherever you get your pods!

Kelly Whelan is a human trafficking researcher for the UN *and* a former professional ice hockey player who has lived all over the globe! But it was Ukraine specifically that captured her heart; partly because the country and its people figure so prominently into her own coming out story. In fact, Kelly's gradual embracing of her own queerness seemed to run parallel to similar strides Ukraine itself has made in recent years. Now, though, with Russia's invasion, LGBTQ Ukrainians - people whom Kelly knows and loves - are in danger. Kelly not only shares her own story, but lays out simply and clearly what is happening in Ukraine right now, and what it specifically means for the country's queer population. She also provides insight about what we can do beyond donating to help Ukrainian refugees in general, and queer Ukrainian refugees in particular. Слава Україні - Glory to Ukraine!Follow Kelly on Instagram and Twitter at @kellythenomad, and check out the ice hockey organization she founded in Ukraine at forwomenshockeyinukraine.org! And now...a whole bunch of ways you can help:- Nash Mir (gay.org.ua/en/): One of the most prominent LGBTQ activist organizations in Ukraine. They work to educate Ukrainian society about LGBTQ issues, combat stereotypes, and advocate for change.- ILGA-Europe (ilga-europe.org/support-lgbti-people-ukraine): An umbrella organization that has compiled a list of ways to donate and support directly to assist LGBTQ Ukrainians.- The LGBT Asylum Project (lgbtasylumproject.org) and the Transgender Law Center (transgenderlawcenter.org): Both of these orgs provide legal assistance to LGBTQ asylum seekers in the U.S. Contact them for potential ways to host/help.- RUSA LGBT (rusalgbt.com): Mentioned in the episode, an organization of Russian and Russian-speaking queer people living in the United States.- Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U​.​S. (chng.it/2HHVJbczK8): Sign and share the online petition created by journalist ​Tamryn Spruill.

We sit down with our first ever Bi+ identified guest, the warm and wonderful Joe Shaw! Joe grew up in a very religious family in Texas (dad was a pastor; Church was part of the Southern Baptist convention; you get it), and got married at twenty-one. He and his wife went on to have two children, but it wasn't until his youngest - a son - was born that Joe realized he had never dealt with his own personal struggles. What followed was a beautiful coming out journey that his wife Amanda not only supported, but actively encouraged! Joe details the coming out/birthday/Pride Month photo shoot they did, and we discuss how toxic monogamy does a huge disservice to bisexual people. Also, the emotional benefits of maintaining your own Bi-cons list!Follow Joe (and reach out to him to get the "cheat codes") at @joeshaw05 on Instagram and @DtalksJoe on Twitter. And don't forget to check out The DTALKS Podcast (@dtalkspodcast everywhere) and After the Encore (@aftertheencorepodcast on Instagram and @ATEncorePodcast on Twitter)!

Kathy Kiger grew up in an Evangelical family in Texas, where gay people were described with words like "abomination" and "contagious." For decades, she walked the path she was expected to: getting married, having children, and unconsciously training herself to just "Christian harder" whenever "the gay would start to come up." It wasn't until last year at the age of fifty that Kathy finally realized she was a lesbian, but, WOW, has she embraced it! She talks about all of the incredible resources she's created for other women coming out later in life, and tells us the best multi-generational coming out story we've EVER heard! Not only that: as someone who is on the ground in Texas, Kathy provides up-close information on the impact of Governor Abbott's hideous anti-trans directive, and lets us know what we can do to help trans kids and their families.Follow Kathy on Instagram at @betterlatethanstraight, and go to https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com/ to check out her blog, sign up for her newsletter, and take advantage of the fantastic resources she's compiled!To help with the situation in Texas, Kathy recommends: https://www.tpride.org/index.php (letter writing campaign), https://www.txtranskids.org/ (list of different trans organizations in Texas), and https://www.outyouth.org/support-for-families (resources and support for Texas trans families, including legal support).To donate directly to the Armed Forces of Ukraine, Nicole recommends: https://bank.gov.ua/en/about/support-the-armed-forces

BOY OH BOY, ARE WE EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE! We're reunited with Episode 9 guest Lauren Ludwig (she/they), who has had some major life-developments since we last spoke! For one thing, they now "identify more aggressively as gender non-binary," but an even bigger development is that Lauren and their husband have opened up their marriage, and are now poly [that sound you just heard was Nicole SQUEALING WITH GLEE]! Lauren and Nicole bond over how similar their poly journeys have been (right down to being side-eyed as the "instigator" by certain friends and family), and discuss how the poly community needs monogamous allies, *not* "saviors." Plus, Lauren fills us in on their FANTASTICALLY-QUEER Netflix short "Heart Shot," which was written by them and directed by their girlfriend!Follow Lauren on Instagram at @ludwigmonster, and absolutely, positively check out "Heart Shot" on Netflix (www.netflix.com/title/81343173, or just search "Heart Shot")!

As you're no doubt aware, there is some *truly* awful legislation making headlines lately. These bills and laws not only severely impede teachers' ability to, well, teach, but also make educators vulnerable to lawsuits for simply talking about race and gender issues in the classroom. It's real Handmaid's Tale stuff. To better examine how dire the situation is, we brought on two *tremendous* queer teachers, B (they/she) and Andie (they/them), who hail from Pennsylvania and Ohio respectively. They candidly discuss what the passage of legislation like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill would mean for them as educators and individuals. We dive into Critical Race Theory, get real about teacher burnout, and say the word "nefarious" A LOT. Most importantly, we learn how we can support America's teachers at this critical time.Follow (and support by re-posting!) our two amazing guests:B is on Instagram at @betweenunreadlinesAndie is on both Twitter and Instagram at @andie_the_enbyAnd keep track of the proposed legislation in your state and across America with tools like:https://freedomforallamericans.org/legislative-tracker/ (@freedom4allusa everywhere)https://www.equalityfederation.org/ (@EqualityFed everywhere)

We've got award-winning author Mariko Tamaki (DC's "Crush & Lobo"), whose queer YA novel "Cold" just came out this week! Mariko came of age at an all-girls private school in Toronto, and thought her disinterest in boys was just because she was a late bloomer...until she got to university, and discovered Montreal's '90s queer scene. Mariko's story includes being schooled by lesbian elders about the complicated dynamics within the queer community, a moment of desperation when she ABSOLUTELY NEEDED a magazine with Jodie Foster, and a lesbian bar called "Sisters" that hits every trope in the book.Follow Mariko at @marikotamaki on Instagram and Twitter, and look for "Cold" at bookstores everywhere!

In a real lovefest of an episode, we're joined by Nicole's former youth group advisor, Jenn McCalley, who Nicole came out to twenty years ago as a wee baby queer! But that's not all: in true "circle of life" fashion, Jenn is now recently out as a baby queer HERSELF!!! Now a social worker and married mother of two, Jenn realized early in the pandemic that not living her full truth was affecting both her marriage and her mental health. Jenn talks about what it was like to come out as bi at fifty-three, and how - contrary to her fears - doing so has actually helped her to feel even *closer* to her husband. (We highly recommend this episode for anyone coming out while in a relationship!) All this, plus Nicole finally learns the meaning of the term "pillow princess!"

We sit down with Nicole's dear friend and concert-going buddy, Mike Mizwicki! Mike grew up in an Irish Catholic family in Chicago, so suffice to say he was surrounded by an ever-present machismo factor. But even as a child, he could tell from other people's reactions to his behaviors and interests that there was something about him that was "wrong or different." Mike pays homage to Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss (the guiding gay light of his youth), and we talk for the first time about the differences between public vs. private first queer kisses! Also, we get real about what it means to even passively ask your parents for "permission" to come out to extended family.Follow Mike on Instagram at @miz.interpretations!

In a mere twenty-two years on this planet, Regan Aliyah (Club Mickey Mouse) has already forged a career as an actor, rapper, spoken word artist, choreographer, and more! Regan started working professionally at the age of twelve; as a result, she never really focused on herself or her personal life because she felt she had to prioritize her outward-facing persona. She teaches us all about The Lesbian Masterdoc (TM), reveals her cartoon crushes, and tells the *adorable* story of how she met her MMA fighter girlfriend! Also, how she and her mom got to the beautiful place in their relationship that they're at now, despite getting off on the wrong foot when Regan first came out.Check out all things Regan at https://www.reganaliyah.com/, and follow her everywhere at @reganaliyah!

We're joined by Germana Belo, co-writer of the award-winning, *very* sexy and sapphic web series RED, as well as a brand new series that she and Nicole wrote TOGETHER! Growing up in Brazil in the 1980s, Germana feared that the feelings she had for women (especially Brooke Shields...) were a sin, or even a curse. She talks about falling in love with her first therapist at the age of eighteen (classic!), and shares how to this day she often feels like she is "too gay to be bi, and not gay enough to be a lesbian" (also classic, sadly). Plus, we do an in-depth examination of queer storytelling, and Nicole and Germana share some *scintillating* details about their upcoming web series, As Love Goes!Follow Germana on Twitter at @_germana, and on Instagram at @gebelo.Follow "As Love Goes" at @aslovegoes_ on Instagram, and check out their fundraising campaign at www.indiegogo.com/projects/as-love-goes-season-1!

We're starting the year off right with actor/content creator/all-around-joyful-and-hilarious-human-being, Nikki Garza! Nikki explains how she's distanced herself from the term "body positivity" as she's watched it come to mean insecurity in general, as opposed to the actual marginalization of othered bodies. Nikki prefers the term "body confidence," and discusses how so many people are attracted to fat folks...but want to "love you in private" (yes; even ultra-accepting queer people). We also dissect the concept of "sexy ugly," and Nikki beautifully illustrates the difference between straight men and queer women by reading us DMs from her thirst traps!Follow Nikki on TikTok and Instagram at @itsnikki.g, and on Twitter at @itsnikkigarza

You know it, you love it, you can't live without it - it's our third annual LISTENER MAILBAG EPISODE! We had some *great* questions this year, including how to recognize the subtle differences between aesthetic attraction, sexual attraction, and being attracted "to the person," and an epic four-part question about polyamory. Plus, we tackle that tale as old as time itself: why does EVERY queer woman on dating apps want to go on a fu@#ing hike?!? 'Tis the season to hunker down under some blankets and say goodbye to this weird AF year with us, Coming Out Pod style!Looking for some lighthearted queer content to pump into your eyes and ears during our brief hiatus? Check out our ever-evolving queer media list at comingoutpod.com/media! We'll also be posting outtakes from episodes past on our Patreon at patreon.com/comingoutpod.

We hear a raw, inspiring story of survival and resilience from our guest, Stelle. One of eight children, Stelle grew up in an extremely isolated religious cult started by her father in rural Oregon. Among other things, cult life entailed corporal punishment, and teachings that women must submit to their husbands unconditionally. Stelle shares how she managed to free herself, and recalls the point at which she was able to start considering her sexuality. It's a story that is truly unlike any we've heard before.You can follow Stelle on Instagram at @astelleau. If you're interested in the God is Grey interview she discusses in this episode, it can be found on YouTube at https://youtu.be/HTe-El4NjgQ.

We have a beautiful conversation with Lauren's buddy, “Jay,” who tells us the story of his daughter’s coming out, and shares his own experience as a “cis hetero male dad” raising a trans child. At three years old, Jay’s AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) daughter began giving “insistent, persistent, and consistent” signals that she felt she was a girl. Jay discusses what he and his wife observed in their daughter’s development, and speaks candidly about the challenges parents of trans kids face, including the "ticking clock behind big, hard decisions.” We’re so grateful to have had this conversation!Some of the resources Jay mentions in this episode include:“It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book about Gender Identity” by Theresa Thorn “Sex Is a Funny Word” and “What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg TransFamilies.orgThis episode is sponsored by Lorals, the world’s first oral sex panties! Get 15% off your first purchase today at www.mylorals.com with code COP15!

Sexting, libido, and dildos, OH MY! These are just a few of the things we go deep into (you're welcome) with queer sex educator Gabrielle Kassel! It's a *very* uncensored ep of the pod as Gabrielle shares the questions she is most frequently asked in her particular line of work. Gabrielle, who defines sex as "any meaningful act of pleasure," blows our minds by laying out the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, and discusses how to cultivate an environment where it's easier to talk about the sex you're having. Plus what to do about mismatched libidos, and why you should seriously consider wearing your new dildo around the house while you do chores (roommates allowing)!Follow @gabriellekassel everywhere, and check out "Bad in Bed" wherever you get your podcasts!

Our DMs have been overflowing with a veritable cornucopia of polyamory-related questions, so seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving, we thought we'd bring not one, not two, but THREE poly folks to the table to discuss loving in abundance! Morgan (@chillpolyamory) provides peer support for poly folks, and nesting partners Bear & Fifi (@bear.n.fifi) offer intimacy coaching. They were all kind enough to cover topics such as "relationship anarchy," jealousy, "compersion," agreements, scarcity vs. abundance, and what the folks are up to kink-wise in Berlin! Nicole and our guests respond to listener questions, and give tips for first-timers easing into poly. Also, Lauren finally gets all of her monogamous-person questions answered! Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!Follow Morgan on Instagram and TikTok at @chillpolyamory, and check out patreon.com/chillpolyamory! Follow Bear & Fifi on Instagram at @bear.n.fifi, and reach out to them via DM or at [email protected]. Also, check the link in their bio for info about their Conscious Intimacy workshop on Dec. 15th!

It's deeply embarrassing for a queer podcast to go 3+ years without featuring the founder of an animal rescue, but that all ends TODAY! Natalie Garcia lost her dog Maggie Mae in an unthinkable accident, but the tragedy inspired her to create MaeDay Rescue. Eleven years later, MaeDay is one of the most popular rescues in Los Angeles - in fact, it's where Nicole got Dobby! Eventually we manage to pull ourselves away from talking about dogs long enough to dig into Natalie's coming out story, which begins at the tender age of fourteen. Natalie discusses being part of her high school's "popular straight girls group," and how coming out set her off on a different path from those friends. She also shares the VERY dramatic story of reconnecting with her high school girlfriend years later, and the time she and her date found out they were actually related. All this, plus auditory cameos from *several* pets!Follow Natalie on Instagram at @nataliewould, and follow MaeDay Rescue everywhere at @maedayrescue. Also check out @maedayoutpost, and maedayrescue.com!

Get ready to have your pants charmed off (consensually) by James Barnes, aka The Trans Coach! A corporate trainer who specializes in LGBTQ education, James transitioned almost seven years ago, and today has a wife and two small children. But he started out in a family of missionaries, and was groomed from an early age to be a pastor due to his ability to effortlessly connect with people. James shares how the discomfort of house-hunting as a trans person unexpectedly led him to his dream career, how he managed to keep his ample Christian network through both coming out as gay *and* coming out as trans, and how empathy is at the center of everything he does. He also provides some excellent advice for coming out to family, and we discuss why shaking hands is a billion times weirder than saying your pronouns!website: thetranscoach.comsocials: @thetranscoach

In a truly one-of-a-kind episode, we talk to American ex-pat and professional jazz saxophonist(!) Mariela Mulder, who has a very unique set of circumstances: for a harrowing year, Mariela taught in Kuwait, and agreed to speak to us candidly about what it's like to live in a country where it's illegal to be gay. From the queer students and adults who risked coming out to her, to the secret location where "women go to meet each other," Mariela shares it all!Insta: @marielamulderMusic: marielamulder.com

Because the world needs more white cis people sharing their views on Dave Chappelle!!! In all seriousness, we explain up top why it felt necessary to address "The Closer," and how we hope this episode amounts to getting sh*t out of our systems before having a trans guest on to discuss. We share some opinions we KNOW won't be popular! We do some yelling! Lauren mentions Ashlee Marie Preston a billion times! We hope you'll listen.FOLLOW:@ashleemariepreston@hopegiselle@raquel_willis@janayathefuture

It's our most VISUALLY STUNNING episode yet, with a guest whose coming out story spans Maine, Scotland, and Alaska! Eileen Hanley (Crazy Hot: The Podcast) always thought/knew she was bisexual, but internalized biphobia and an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend made her feel like she'd somehow be "lying" if she came out. She tells us about her deliciously awkward first sexual experience with a woman, and explains why EVERYONE is crazy hot! Also, we come up with a fun new nickname for Lauren's boobs!

SURPRISE! It's our annual National Coming Out Day minisode! More and more, we hear folks in our community say that they're "tired" of coming out stories, and would rather see queer people "just living their lives." While we definitely want to see that, too, we not-so-surprisingly think that coming out stories are still ESSENTIAL! We get to the heart of why we so strongly believe this, in addition to talking about celebrities who came out this past year, and some lesser-known coming out moments in media!

We have a mind-expanding conversation with aroace lesbian and mental health advocate, Rebecca Ashley! Rebecca uses the label of "lesbian" in addition to identifying as asexual/aromantic, and one of the first things we discuss is the ostensible contradiction between those terms. Rebecca does an incredible job of shedding light on alllllll the different kinds of attraction *beyond* just sexual and romantic; plus, we dig into squishes vs. crushes, alternate types of life partnerships, and The Golden Girls!

Fawzia Mirza (Her Story; Signature Move) started out as an actor, but soon realized that the roles available to queer, Muslim, South Asian women were not exactly...plentiful. So she began writing her own work, with the goal of centering folks who are all too often just "friends of the center story." We discuss the pressure put on queer female relationships to be EVERYTHING, and the difficulty of having your entire queer identity tied to your very first partner. Also, Fawzia's "Summer of Lesbianism!"

We're closing out Bi Visibility Week with a special ep featuring not one, but *two* of Nicole's BFFs from college! Not only are Nicole, Katie, and Lorelei all bisexual, they're also all in long-term relationships with cis men. They discuss the inherent conflict between passing privilege and erasure, the significance of losing your virginity to a woman when you're a bi woman, and bi myths they'd like to bust. We also talk "bisexual awakening movies," and celebrity couples to whom we'd say a hard YES, PLEASE!

We're joined by one of our all-time FAVORITE facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Maggie Tielker! For the past eighteen months, Lauren and Maggie have been Zoom-facilitating together nearly every Monday night. But at age twenty-seven, Maggie herself went through the Center's Women's Coming Out Workshop! Maggie shares her suspiciously feminine childhood crushes (Hanson, Jared Leto...you get it), the pressure of the "relationship escalator," and her experience with VERY DIRECT queer elders!@maggietielker

We cover some entirely new ground this week in a fantastic conversation with disability advocate AJ Detwiler! AJ lives at the intersection of queer, female, and disabled, but many of her dating experiences have sadly revealed our community to be...less "body-positive" than we'd like to imagine. AJ discusses the pressure she feels to prove her physical autonomy in relationships, and we talk about the huge moment of sexy disabled visibility that occurred just this past weekend on The L Word!@zoominrainbow

Comedian and author Sophie Santos literally wrote a memoir about her coming out story, so needless to say she knows it well! Sophie was the only girl in her middle school's tackle football league, but pulled a super-femme 180 the moment she got her period ("I am now a swan"). She muses on the "copious" amount of men she slept with while in an Alabama sorority to try to convince herself she was into dudes (spoiler: she wasn't), the summer at Wellesley that changed her life, and whether or not she's "futch."

We dyke out with Melody Kamali, comedian and co-host of one of our favorite podcasts, Dyking Out! Melody shares the pivotal moment she had with *that* scene in True Lies, talks about getting "heterocurious" in her early 20s, and discusses the flack she's gotten for claiming the word "dyke" as someone who identifies as bi/pan. Plus, we get pumped about queer Persian representation in The L Word and beyond, and muse over what straight girls masturbate to! Let us know, straight listeners!!@melodykamali

The podcast hits an important milestone when we talk to our first EX-NUN! Kelli Dunham dropped out of Bible college in the late '80s and went to Haiti to volunteer at a school. However, she ended up volunteering at a Haitian missionary instead, which ultimately led her to join the Missionaries of Charity, an especially strict order (even by Catholic standards!). Now a comedian, Kelli regales us with stories of her former life, including the steps that convents take to discourage "nun-on-nun action."

Hey. Hi. How're you doing? Feeling a bit stressed? Maybe a tad overwhelmed? Wow, that's so crazy; us, too! Haha!! HahahahAHAHAHA!!!! With everything that's been going on...everywhere, we thought we'd take the opportunity to do a li'l mental health check-in: just the two of us, sitting in our respective closets, getting candid about how we've been feeling lately. We both come out about some big mental health decisions we've recently made in our own lives, talk Simone Biles, and more.You're doing great :)

We have a powerful conversation with Julie Rodgers, author of "Outlove: A Queer Christian Survival Story," who is featured in the just-released Netflix documentary Pray Away. Shortly after coming out at the age of 16, Julie's mother took her to meet with someone from Living Hope Ministries. What followed were weekly conversion therapy sessions for the next eight years. Julie discusses the irony of finding queer community in a conversion group, her current relationship to faith, her wife and cats, and more!

We get *candid* about what turns us on in this week's episode with Nikki Levy, creator and host of the Don't Tell My Mother! podcast and live show! Nikki's story begins with a split-second moment in eighth grade that changed everything, then continues down a long and winding road that includes a first kiss with a girl named "Fish," and a threesome with a future rabbi. ARE YOU SUFFICIENTLY TEASED?? Also, how Nikki's mom went from total denial to regularly calling into her daughter's queer af podcast!

We absolutely adore speaker, author, and host Raga Olga D'silva, whose warmth and positivity will literally BLEED THROUGH YOUR HEADPHONES! Raga discusses the surprising way in which sexuality and gender are thought of in patriarchal Indian culture, and the impact that has had on her. She also talks about realizing she was a lesbian when she was married with two young children, her close-knit community's reaction, and the important distinction of martyrdom vs. nurturing. Plus: Bollywood!@totallyoutnow

For the first time ever, we're having a guest back on to give us an update about their evolution, and the hot takes are FLYING! A lot has changed since Daisy Eagan (Episode 5) was on the pod during this *exact* same week in 2018: for one thing, Daisy still identifies as queer, but she's recently embraced the term "non-binary female." She's also become a doula, and her relationship status is...unexpectedly different. Daisy brings us up to speed, as we tackle some hot-button issues within the community!

We're deviating a bit from our format today with Dr. Regina Baker, a surgeon at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. But Dr. Baker isn't just any surgeon: gender affirming surgery specifically constitutes at least 50% of her practice! Dr. Baker details the full process of transitioning, from that first moment of "I don't feel right in this body" to when surgery may (or may not) enter the picture. She also clears up some common misconceptions, explains blockers vs. hormones, and BLOWS OUR MINDS about nipples!

We're closing out Pride Month with Lauren's old Wild 'N Out castmate, Chaunté Wayans! Chaunté (who is indeed from *that* Wayans family) identifies as a stud, and says of women, "They would be my definition of what home is like, when they're not super-crazy." In terms of her stand-up, Chaunté has always aimed to "change the game" for queer people...even if that sometimes means unintentionally offending the queer community. We discuss the pushback she's received, and spill some Wild 'N Out tea!@cwayan

Our Pride Month extravaganza continues with the fabulous Fortune Feimster of The Mindy Project, Chelsea Lately, and much more! Fortune identifies first and foremost as "A lady!" and says "I'm a little daintier on the inside than people realize." In true lesbian fashion, her story includes a gay softball league, a Chinese restaurant, and a Lifetime movie called "The Truth About Jane." Fortune shares how coming out informed her comedy, and how people now use her Netflix special to come out to *their* parents!

Hot on the heels of our "Flirting & Dating" episode, we sit down with queer dating coach Ariella Serur and ask her YOUR burning questions! Ariella bases her coaching on transparency, kindness, generosity, curiosity, and fun, and offers advice on questions like "What should I do if I'm freaking out on a date?!" She also discusses where to meet potential romantic partners, and talks about how and when to disclose...whatever it is you're nervous about disclosing! All this, and MUCH more!@queerdatingcoach

Pride continues with the goddamned hilarious E.R. Fightmaster, who plays NON-BINARY ICON Em on Hulu's Shrill! E.R. (who identifies as "a huge dyke") grew up in '90s Ohio, where gay people were regarded as "kind of mentally ill." They regale us with a high school enemies-to-lovers story so heart wrenching, it's worthy of a YA novel, and share how their present-day confidence was hard-won. We also discuss the idea of labels we "can't" call ourselves, and why you should *always* make the basketball team spoon.

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, Y'ALL!!! We thought we'd do something a little different this week and kick off Pride with an episode wholly devoted to the number one question we hear from our community: "How do I meet/flirt with/date other queer peeps???" We cover it all, from dating apps (which are the best?!) to IRL interactions (what should I say?!), and everything in between! We share our strategies and personal experiences, talk signalling/flagging, and much, much more! LET'S GET PRIDE MONTH STARTED!

Non-monogamy advocate Michelle Hy (@polyamorouswhileasian) began practicing polyamory in 2012 at nineteen years old, before the term was even in the mainstream lexicon! She talks about how she made the choice to become the visible representation she couldn't find, and offers her theories as to why poly seems to have a reputation for being "white people sh*t." We also dissect the concept of the relationship escalator, and discuss how so many rom-coms feel like they actually want to be poly!

After three long years, we FINALLY sit down with co-founder of Tello Films/filmmaker extraordinaire, Christin Baker (Season of Love; I Hate New Year's)! Christin's new production company was just written up in Variety, but there was a time when her mom told her that making LGBTQ+ films would ruin her career. Christin discusses her family's (and her own) journey to acceptance, and why we don't want *less* lesbian corset dramas, we just want MORE lesbian other stuff! Also: the lost art of erotic hand-biting!

We have an absolutely BANANAS time with Lauren's old buddy, Jeff MacKinnon: comedian, writer, actor, and unintentionally-straight-passing bro! Jeff shares hilarious stories about his first guy/guy experience at Bonnaroo (yup), and the night he came out as bi during his stand-up set. He also tells us all about the baby he's expecting with his girlfriend, the previous engagement he broke off, and "the only wonderful story about Grindr." Plus, Nicole elucidates polyamory for Jeff in real time!

Amazin LeThi was left in an orphanage in Saigon and raised by a white family in Sydney, only to suffer abhorrent racism and bullying. On top of this, she genuinely believed she was "the only Asian LGBTQ kid in the world," because she had literally never met anybody who looked and felt like she did. But things unexpectedly began to change for her at six years old when she discovered bodybuilding! Amazin discusses her unique journey, her incredible advocacy work, and her affinity for Arnold Schwarzenegger!

English author Diana Souhami was born in 1940, and began her career at a time when she couldn't even put the word "lesbian" in a book title. Today, she's written multiple biographies about queer women, and her latest one is, in fact, called "No Modernism Without Lesbians." Diana discusses how the four women in her book shaped history between the World Wars, shares her journey of going from apologetic to pleased about her identity, and gives us the *best* response to the "Are you a lesbian?" question...

We talk to filmmaker Jessica Ellis, whose female-led coming of age movie "What Lies West" premieres May 11th! Jessica describes "continually interrogating" herself about her own bisexuality, and talks about queer people shading her on Twitter with comments like "ugh; STRAIGHT women!" when she is very much not in that category. Also, the difficulties of hitting on women ("I feel like I'd be hitting on someone in Swedish"), and the extreme importance of theatre make-out parties!Follow @baddestmamajama

We GEEK OUT about language with Chloe Davis, who literally wrote the queer dictionary! "The Queens' English, The LGBTQIA+ Dictionary of Lingo and Colloquial Phrases" was compiled by Chloe over the course of fifteen years(!), and helped her to crystalize her own identity for herself. Chloe discusses the pressure she felt as a bisexual woman to "pick a side," the process she went through to document the many communities *within* the queer community, her favorite queer words, and much more!IG: @nez_davis

We get our spirits lifted by disability/mental health/body positivity advocate Claire Raymond, who is A LITERAL RAY OF SUNSHINE! Claire went through so many traumatic surgeries in high school that she already had a difficult time relating to her peers; the burgeoning realization that she was queer was just one more layer of separation. But in a surprise twist, Claire found THIS VERY PODCAST! She shares her funny, beautiful journey, and makes us feel all warm and fuzzy along the way.@livingwithclaireity

There's "baptism by fire," and then there's "going to your first gay club ever with Madonna." But that's exactly what happened to dancer/choreographer Kevin Stea! At only twenty years old, Kevin was cast in the world-famous Blond Ambition Tour. He shares what it was like to both discover and explore his sexuality amidst the utmost extremes of gay culture; all while the specter of AIDS was looming. From being outed in the press to forming a late-in-life bond with his father, his stories are INCREDIBLE!

Only three months into 2021, we've already broken our country's record for the highest number of anti-transgender bills in history; many of which are aimed at trans youth. To discuss the specifics of the anti-trans legislation that our community is currently battling, we brought back someone with a very personal connection to this fight: Episode 45 guest Dalila Ali Rajah, whose 18-year-old son, Phoenix, is trans. From puberty blockers to inclusion in sports, we shed some light on what's at stake.

NICOLE IS BACK, Y'ALL!!! And to celebrate, we've brought on a guest who's near and dear to our hearts: writer, director, and queer-space-creator Gina Young, who has been referred to *multiple* times on the pod as "L.A.'s Lesbian Godfather." Gina tells the squeal-inducing story of her first girl/girl kiss, and discusses making herself more femme for the purposes of dating, despite feeling like her gender identity is closer to "paper bag/bowl of oatmeal." Also, riot grrrl, the Lesbian Archives, and MORE!

Lauren is joined by Dyking Out's Carolyn Bergier for a conversation with the PAINFULLY charming and charismatic Tien Tran (Work in Progress)! Tien had a Vietnamese-American *and* Roman-Catholic upbringing, so she truly believed she was "saving herself for the perfect man." She shares the agonizingly-relatable near misses she had in college, and discusses not being out to her family during her first relationship. Also, her parents' journey with acceptance, and "the beautiful world of YouTube fan-cut videos!"

It's a hilariously off the rails episode of the podcast when Lauren and Mav Viola talk to actor/writer Carrie Brennan, whose film BLOCK is an incredibly autobiographical retelling of her own coming out experience! Despite having gay role models within her own family, fear kept Carrie closeted for a decade. Our discussion covers finding an LGBTQ therapist on the dark web (yes, really), queer icon Rhonda Shimes (not a typo), and Gay Panic (TM). Also, we swear like sailors, so strap in!www.blockthefilm.com

If Rivkah Reyes (they/them) looks familiar to you, it's probably because they played Katie, the *epically* cool bass player in School of Rock. But now they're all grown up, and A GODDAMNED DELIGHT! Rivkah identifies as fluid "across the board," and discusses their recent name change, their work with the Akashic Records, addiction and sobriety, and *so* much more! Plus, we all share our first queer crushes, and discuss how Microsoft's Clippy was OBVIOUSLY queer culture.Contact Rivkah at rivkahreyes.com!

Lauren and Episode 104's Makeda Declet have THE THRILL OF THEIR LIVES talking to former WNBA player Crystal Robinson, the pod's first professional athlete! Crystal grew up in Oklahoma in a racially segregated town of only 425 people, yet still had the wherewithal to come out to her mother in the third grade. She discusses the early days of the WNBA when being out was largely shunned, and shares a harrowing story of getting racially profiled in her hometown just months ago. Also, her upcoming memoir!

Comedian and writer Guy Branum (Chelsea Lately; The Mindy Project) grew up in a conservative farm town with a family that liberally used the "F" word (the slur; not the cuss), and came of age in the 1980s during peak AIDS panic. WHAT A START! Guy talks about not looking like "what a gay guy is supposed to look like," and the prison-of-its-own-making aspect of gay male culture. Plus, a surprise cameo from Amy Klobuchar, and the sick Virginia Woolf burn that changed Guy's life!Twitter and IG: @GuyBranum

Lauren and guest co-host Mandahla Rose have a conversation with 21-year-old PJ Hase that could have gone on for HOURS! PJ identifies as both asexual and aromantic, and tells us about being in a friend group that "tried on labels...like trying on clothes at the mall." PJ shares what it's like when friends are at the top of your relationship hierarchy, and explains concepts like the split attraction model, primary vs. secondary attraction, and amatonormativity. Also, the "spectrum" aspect of the ace spectrum!

We have an amazing conversation with the ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL Alayna Joy! Alayna grew up in a half Lutheran/half Mennonite family in "the Canadian Bible Belt," and amassed a large following on YouTube making bisexual-focused LGBTQ content. But then quarantine happened, and she realized...she actually *wasn't* bi. Alayna shares her epic journey of multiple coming outs, and talks about where she finally landed in terms of identity. We also examine compulsory heterosexuality, aesthetic attraction, and more!

Cole Giannone uses they/them pronouns, and identifies as a combination of queer, trans non-binary, and transmasc. However, back when they were in high school (and well before all of these terms were commonplace), Cole was Nicole's first girlfriend! Cole and Nicole look back on their relationship, and examine how it was affected by elements of their identities that neither of them could put a name to at the time. Plus, the complexities of raising a child when it comes to gender - both theirs AND yours!

British indie folk singer songwriter Enny Owl used to pray that the girl she had a crush on wouldn't come to class, because she believed that the butterflies she felt around her were sinful. Today, she identifies as "a queer pi" (because she's torn between bi and pan), and plays us the first song she ever wrote using female pronouns! Enny shares how internalized biphobia made her suppress her attraction to men in an attempt to prove she was gay, we examine the concept of "the other woman," and more!

We're kicking off 2021 with a huge guest: Alex Blue Davis of She-Ra and Grey's Anatomy! Alex always identified as male, but when he lost his dad at a very young age, he shut down, and decided to just be what everyone thought he was. Alex shares how an out lesbian camp counselor changed his life when he was fourteen...until a traumatic incident following that formative summer sent him running back into the closet. Alex's story is one of survival, and it's an incredibly inspiring way to start off a new year!

It's our end-of-the-year MAILBAG EPISODE! We take on questions about finding and connecting with queer culture and community, navigating the waters of being bi+ in a hetero-presenting relationship, and having doubts about your identity post-coming out. We also tackle a series of *very* sticky queries about gender, because why not end the year with a bang?! All this, plus some fun ways to still have us in your earholes next week, even though we're taking a l'il hiatus. YOU SURVIVED 2020! CELEBRATE WITH US!

Emily Goss (Dating in Place; Season of Love; Snapshots) has played a multitude of queer roles, and yet it's only very recently that she felt comfortable enough to start identifying as bisexual. She talks about the childhood event that made her retreat from being a masculine tomboy, and we dissect the universal experience of feeling like an imposter when everyone else seems like "a professional queer." Also, the Hot Butch Woman (TM) Emily saw over a decade ago, but still vividly remembers...@emilygoss650

We brought on an Elliott to talk about an Elliot! For quite a while, Puerto Rican writer/director Elliott Feliciano (OutFest's "To Be With You") only saw examples of trans women in media - and the few trans men he did see were all white. It wasn't until he came across model Laith Ashley that he first felt he saw himself. Elliott talks transitioning at thirty-five, and why he uses both "he" and "they" pronouns. Also, we dig into Elliot Page's epic announcement - the joy *and* the controversy, oh my!

Actor/singer/producer Haviland Stillwell (BIFL) is on the femme-presenting side of the spectrum, so she is *very* familiar with the concept of "you never stop coming out" (pro-tip: having a wife helps). As a gay actress who is almost always cast as straight, we thought she'd be the perfect guest to discuss the current hot topic of "authenticity" in the casting of queer roles. Haviland talks being perceived as "not gay enough" - especially by queer filmmakers - and, yes; we GET INTO IT over Happiest Season!

Well, Lauren had another tweet go viral and made a ton of people angry again! But on the upside, it brought up something we've wanted to discuss for a while: triggers. Episode 11 guest (and Nicole's girlfriend) Mandahla Rose comes back to talk about navigating trauma that occurred while she was in foster care. She discusses learning to have agency over daily triggers, and we talk about the prevalence of LGBTQ trauma, and offer resources for healing.(TW: sexual abuse)Follow Mandahla at @twiistedrose

Writer, actress, host, and Twitter darling Dani Fernandez joins us on the pod for an amazing crash-course in self-love! Dani (who identifies as bi and Chicana) developed curves early, and was teased and shamed for...you know, having a body. She shares how she learned to love the way she looks, and how sexy photoshoots have allowed her to reclaim her own body. Also: the scam the patriarchy has pulled on bisexuality! Salma Hayek! And why we all need to be posting WAY more thirst traps!@msdanifernandez

We welcome actor Melissa Weisz, the other half of The Forbidden Apple Podcast and our first ever (former) Hasidic Jew! At nineteen, Melissa was engaged to a man in an arranged marriage...yet in a surprise twist, it was *not* her burgeoning queerness that eventually led to the end of that relationship. Melissa shares how being raised in such a confining religion resulted in a fear of joining other communities (including the queer community); we learn about Jewish "family purity laws," and SO much more!!

We went live on Instagram the morning after the election to talk to each other and all of you about what the hell is happening!!! We discuss the still-very-much-in-process results, offer ideas for how to keep from going crazy in the days (weeks?!) to follow, and talk the merits and drawbacks of trying to engage in compassionate conversation with people across the aisle. IT'S AMERICA'S COMING OUT, Y'ALL!Mentioned in this ep:lalgbtcenter.org/culture-education/community-groupscomingoutpod.com/media

We got another young 'un! 18-year-old Ruby Farley hasn't ever really come out in the traditional sense, but identifies as queer because "that's the closest word I can find." She talks about being raised in a home that was very open about sex and sexuality, and shares how childhood trauma ultimately gave her an enormous capacity for empathy. We also discuss the ways in which social media has failed us in terms of communication, and what it's like watching from the outside as your sibling transitions.

We're back with the absolutely wonderful Pelayo Alvarez of The Forbidden Apple, a podcast that explores the relationship between queer people and spirituality. Spanish-born and Catholic-raised Pelayo (who recently came out to his entire family over Zoom!) discusses reclaiming the idea of being "shameless," and the complexities of being out when you work in international relations. Also, the eminent wisdom of Keke Palmer!YouTube: youtube.com/pelayoafIG: @theforbiddenapplepodcastTwitter: @TFA_POD

In a special mini-episode, we share the origins of the phrase "coming out" (spoiler alert: it's super-gay), make some exciting announcements, and hear a message of encouragement from a much beloved former guest! HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL!And check out:comingoutpod.com/mediafreedhearts.orgkarenpacent.comquibi.com/shows/sexology-with-shan-593/"We Have Jobs We Swear" on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

At long last, we're talking All Things J.K. Rowling, and we've brought on the *perfect* guest to help us wade through this IMMENSE topic. Comedian Violet Gray identifies as gender-variant, and had to come out not only in the stand-up scene, but also the librarian scene and the Ren Faire scene! We discuss where we think Rowling's views stem from, why and how she was able to essentially be radicalized online, and MUCH more. It's an incredibly nuanced conversation, and we can't wait to hear what you think!

In Part 2 of our epic polyamory episode, Gustav (Nicole's husband) and Mandahla (Nicole's girlfriend) talk about the evolution of the "trinity" they've created with Nicole! Gustav discusses why he was open (pun intended) to a poly relationship, even though he'd previously only known monogamy. Conversely, Mandahla shares why she was resistant...yet kept coming back around to Nicole and this particular poly relationship. It's a super-honest talk about the ups and downs of love, jealousy, and hyper-commitment!

You've been asking for it for over a year now, and the moment has finally arrived: it's Nicole's *poly* coming out story! An episode SO epic, it's our first ever two-parter! In this first half, Nicole tells Lauren the long and sometimes painful journey that finally led to her understanding that she was polyamorous. She digs into her fear of being perceived as "a bisexual stereotype," and we bust polyamory myths and define more terms than a sexy dictionary! Strap in, and get your POLY EDUCATION!

We cover SO much with content creator and activist Annie Elainey! Annie describes herself as "an intersectional being," identifying as queer, disabled, Latinx, genderfluid, non-binary lesbian, and autistic - quite a list! Annie discusses the struggle it took for her to finally be diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and the unexpected parallels between her coming out journey and her disability journey. Also, internalized ableism, lack of accessibility in queer spaces, and dating with a disability!

We finally take on the topic of cancel culture, and HOO BOY, do we have a lot to say! Author, speaker, and advocate Amanda Jetté Knox was in a hetero marriage when her 11-year-old came out as trans...but that was only the beginning! We talk about their family's incredible journey, and how it ironically led to Amanda being attacked online by the very community she so fiercely advocated for. You'll laugh! You'll cry! And you'll love (or hate) some of our opinions...amandajetteknox.com / @MavenOfMayhem

We take our first foray into the world of professional sports with ESPN personality Israel Gutierrez! Until the age of 31, Izzy would only allow himself to go to gay bars once a year, and only when he was out of town. He talks about the man he met on one of those trips who helped him come out, and shares the emotional story of how he finally told his family. Also, we discuss how sports and politics have collided, and how being out actually ended up giving Izzy's career *more* meaning.IG: @mrizgutierrez

Jessica Lillebo lives in Alabama, and is a longtime listener of the pod. However, as a trans woman, she was hurt by some things that Nicole brought up in Episode 110, so she reached out. And lest you think Nicole doesn't practice what she preaches re: talking things out in person, she and Jessica had a FaceTime sesh to discuss! We wanted to share their conversation, and invite Jessica on the podcast to talk about being trans in Alabama, explain how she told her kids, and more!Say hi on IG at @jess_1ill!

We have a FANTASTIC conversation with actor/illustrator Sammy June (Backstreet Butches), who uses both she/her and they/them pronouns. Sammy talks about her Mormon upbringing, and the difficulty of getting not just divorced, not just "gay" divorced, but gay *Mormon* divorced. We also plunge into the murky waters of sex vs. gender, and Sammy shares how she's learned to be comfortable with all of the contradictions that she feels in these areas. Plus, the complex relationship between women and...their boobs.

We bring on another one of our co-facilitators to help us tell the very-relevant story of The Most Uncomfortable Conversation (TM) we've ever had at the LGBT Center! Writer Chanel Glover (Sasha & Condi) was raised in a family that always taught her to be proud of her Blackness; when it came to her queerness, though, Chanel initially felt like she was betraying her Black community by "sharing her activism." We talk being "woke" vs. being self-aware, and also get real about lesbian cliquiness...@celaineg

In a special episode that's just the two of us, we divulge some exciting plans we have for the pod! From our closets, we detail the ways in which we're broadening our definition of "coming out" in order to cover a wider variety of topics that intersect with guests' identities. We also tease some upcoming eps we have planned, and come out to each other AGAIN-- but in a totally different sense. Lauren shares something that may or may not-at-all shock you, and Nicole reveals something incredibly vulnerable...

We have an across-the-pond chat with the *unfathomably* lovely Yetide Badaki (American Gods; This Is Us), who identifies as bi, Black, Nigerian, immigrant, and more! Yetide shares how, for a long time, she wasn't sure if she could claim space in the queer community...until reading the comments on a YouTube video made her realize how crucial visibility is. She also teaches us the meaning of "TCK," and we dive into the powerful connection queer women have to sci-fi/fantasy shows like DS9 and BSG!@yetide

Today we welcome comedian/author/musician Lane Moore (Tinder Live; "How To Be Alone;" It Was Romance)! Lane literally wrote the BOOK on being by yourself, so she's the perfect guest for our second wave of quarantine. She takes us from her "mean girls"-esque high school experiences with women all the way up to today, where she is fully out as bi in her personal and public life. Also: the heteronormative roles we often impose on queer relationships, and the Small Girl/Tall Girl trope!@hellolanemoore

It's the episode that has literally been 20 years in the making: WE FOUND RICKY!!! Well, *we* didn't find Ricky, but she has been found! Don't worry; we'll explain everything... Nicole nearly combusts as we talk to Erica Hebert (a.k.a. *THE* RICKY!), the woman solely responsible for Nicole's "ring of keys" moment (full story in Ep 1). Ricky dishes about field hockey shenanigans, being out in the '90s, and what it feels like to be a QUEER ICON! Also: Lauren nearly gets cancelled!Find Ricky at @Jaxbencam9

We're joined by writer, podcaster, and all around hilarious human, Gaby Dunn (Bad With Money; I Hate Everyone But You)! Gaby started out as a baby goth at a private Jewish day school in Florida, where the idea of having a girlfriend seemed "patently insane." But since then, she's evolved into an out and proud bi/poly icon whose favorite comeback to her critics is "sorry I'm fun." Nicole and Gaby talk all things poly, we discuss respectability politics, and Lauren tries to reclaim the concept of "vanilla."

We're closing out Pride Month (July 1st is STILL PRIDE MONTH!) with an amazing guest: Ariela Barer of Runaways, Atypical, and ODAAT! Ariela always had *very* intense female friendships, but could not for the life of her understand why everyone thought she was gay. She shares how she came out to her mom "the wrong way," and details the harrowing close call she had with her high school Tumblr... Also, what it's like to play straight opposite not one, not two, but THREE queer TV ships!Follow @ArielaBarer

Just months before the protests, writer/actor Makeda Declet (Miracle Workers; Veep) wrote a one-act play that dealt with issues of intersectionality within the LGBTQ community. She talks to us about the experiences she's had as a Black queer woman that inspired her to write that piece, including having to exist in queer spaces that are predominantly run and populated by young white women. We also discuss the controversy surrounding West Hollywood's recent "All Black Lives Matter" Pride march. @makdeclet

We're continuing Pride with YouTuber Miles McKenna! Growing up, Miles knew things probably wouldn't go well if he told his parents he was queer, so he had no plans to do so...until one of them basically tricked him into coming out. What followed was as bad as he had anticipated, and YouTube became his lifeline. Miles tells us how his initial experience nearly kept him from coming out as trans, and what it was like to transition in front of an audience. Also, how former guest Stevie Boebi came to his rescue!

By age twenty-five, journalist and author Lauren Duca (Teen Vogue; "How to Start a Revolution") had the perfect husband and a highly-successful career (who DOESN'T want to obliterate Tucker Carlson?). Inside, though, she was miserable, and felt "evil" for not being happy with her life. Lauren shares how Trump's election and a frog DMT ceremony helped her realize she was a lesbian; she also talks femmephobia, and shares tips for staying politically active when everything seems overwhelming af.@laurenduca

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It's a couples episode with wonderful cello and vocal duo, Branden & James! Branden (America's Got Talent) grew up in Orange County, James in Australia, but religion is where their stories overlap. Branden attended Promise Keepers and a church for "ex-gays," while James' faith struggle lead him to Bible school in small town Texas. We talk organized religion vs. spirituality, and Branden being an out finalist on America's Got Talent. Also, there's a dancer/undertaker!Check out @brandenjmusic everywhere

Holy cats! It's our 100TH EPISODE!!!! We take a queer walk down queer memory lane with clips from some of our most memorable moments inside and out of the closet, featuring past guests like Kirsten Vangsness, Erin Foley, Nicole's mom, and many more! We've also packed this ep with never-before-heard outtakes, bloopers, and behind the scenes moments. It's funny! It's moving! It's surprisingly sexy! JOIN US, WON'T YOU?! And, hey - thank you so much for listening :)Tons of stuff up at comingoutpod.com!

We get into it with author and pop culture aficionado Keah Brown, who created #DisabledAndCute! Keah describes herself as a "bisexual, black, disabled woman," and discusses how she feels pressured to shelve some of her identities in order to advocate for just one at a time. We talk lack of disabled representation (never mind lack of disabled *queer* representation) in media, and Keah tells us why she was afraid to admit she was bi "on top of everything else." Also: the truth about the Olsen twins!

We bring on our fellow facilitator Sean Wright (they/them), who does amazing research in the field of public health! Sean, who tells us "I discovered my gender in the thrift store," sees their recent identity-shift as another "tree ring" in their ongoing evolution. We discuss the intricacies of trans vs. trans non-binary vs. non-binary, and Sean gives a fantastic explanation of why "trans non-binary" feels right for them. We also talk resources for queer folks in difficult shelter-in-place situations.

In a controversial but fascinating episode, we talk to activist, former adult film star, and "Tranpa" Buck Angel, who transitioned 25 years ago(!!) when many doctors considered top surgery "mutilation." Buck is up front about the fact that he is VERY opinionated re: issues within the trans community, so please listen at your own discretion. These conversations are scary to have, but we hope they will ultimately help bring our beloved LGBTQ community closer together.Buck welcomes engagement at @buckangel

Speaker and activist Elena Joy Thurston converted to Mormonism as a teenager, married at twenty, and went on to have four children, but seventeen years into her marriage, she began the harrowing journey of coming to terms with her lesbian identity. She relays the incredible story of how she unexpectedly met the love of her life, survived a mental health crisis and conversion therapy, and went on to happily live her truth. It's a surprisingly funny tale of triumph...and fly fishing.elenajoyexperience.com

We have a one-of-a-kind discussion with author, keynoter, and CEO, Jennifer Brown! Jennifer grew up in the conservative O.C., but a Vermont college a capella group helped her find her queer identity. Jennifer details how she was able to merge her LGBTQ activism with her work in the corporate sphere, and how she actively made the choice not to pass for straight in the business world. She gives us an education in "Rainbow Capitalism," DE&I, and the queer scene in early '90s Boston!Twitter: @jenniferbrown

We sit down with Nicole's Other Loving co-star, bisexual actor Matt Pascua (Grey's Anatomy; Castle). Matt wasn't confused or in denial about his attraction to men, so he was caught off-guard when his first same-sex encounter didn't really resonate with him. We talk about what it's like when your first time *isn't* all "bunny rabbits and rainbows," and discuss how society only seems to be comfortable viewing men as gay or straight. All this; plus we FINALLY tackle the hot mess that is Tiger King!

A doctor on the front lines *and* a former gymnast?? What CAN'T Nicole's roommate, Chris, do?! Dr. Chris comes from a Midwestern, Roman Catholic family that "didn't really talk about controversial things," but when Chris' sexuality was uncovered, so was a decades-long family secret... Chris shares what it's like to be a doctor during the current pandemic, and reads us gay love letters from 1983 that were recently unearthed!

Hey, everybody! Things sure are f@cking weird right now, huh?! In our first ever remotely recorded episode, Lauren and Nicole process their feelings about the coronavirus pandemic, and talk about how they've been spending their time in quarantine (#quarantinedqueers). Nicole shares how her polycule is navigating lockdown! Lauren comes out as a former OCD-sufferer and current germaphobe! We let you know about some great content that our former guests are producing! And we love on y'all from afar.

In our last in-person episode before the world went bananas, we sit less than 6 ft. away from Ellie Brigida, musician and co-host of Lez Hang Out! Despite the fact that nearly all her friends in high school were queer, Ellie's own sexuality remained submerged until a pivotal dream she had in college... She tells us the whole story (which LITERALLY involves quarantine!!!), and we also talk queer signaling, dog lesbians vs. cat lesbians, and the infiltration of queer bars by well-meaning straight people.

At just 23 years old, comedian Addie Weyrich (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; Crashing) has not only survived more than her fair share of trauma, she's also somehow managed to turn it into stand-up material. She shares how growing up in Philly shaped her, and teaches us all about trauma bonding and "instamacy!" We also dig into the bisexual catch-22 of feeling "too straight for gay spaces; too gay for straight spaces," and discuss the INCREDIBLY challenging logistics of scheduling a threesome...@addieyomind

We sit down with the QUEEN of queer community, Holly Winebarger, co-founder of ClexaCon and founder of QFX! Holly grew up in a small town in Virginia and didn't even know the word "lesbian" until she was 17, so it's no wonder she's spent much of her life fostering spaces for LGBTQ+ folks. She talks about how Ellen's "The Puppy Episode" changed her life, and tells us a coming out story that is *so* outrageous, it literally leaves us speechless! Also, the lasting impact of her mom's best friend, Belinda...

We have a *delightful* time talking to Gretchen Wylder, creator and star of THESE THEMS! Gretchen had a deeply Christian upbringing and was oblivious to her sexuality, despite the fact that she literally got nauseous every time she slept with her boyfriend. Fortunately, she finally saw the light in one of the most HILARIOUS stories we have ever heard! We also discuss hetero toxicity in the queer community, and Lauren finally gets to ask all her Femme for Femme questions!@GretchenWylder / thesethems.com

We finally talk to the woman who started it all! Writer Susan Miller not only co-created Anyone But Me and wrote on Season 1 of the original L Word, she's also THE REASON WHY THIS PODCAST EXISTS (for real)! An award-winning playwright, Susan talks about coming out almost exclusively through her work, and explains why she has described herself as a "bisexual lesbian." We also tackle the hot-button issue of authenticity in casting, and answer the ancient Zen question, "What is the sound of two women kissing?"

Singer/songwriter Lucy LaForge grew up in a very conservative, Christian pocket of California, and didn't even hear the word "bisexual" until college (when someone point-blank asked her if she was one). She discusses the fears she had about being out publicly in the music industry, and how she ultimately let her songs lead the way. We also confront the maddening response of "Well, I mean, *everyone's* bi," and Lucy plays a coming out song LIVE IN LAUREN'S CLOSET!Listen at Lucy & La Mer / @LucyAndLaMer

This week's guest has never shared her story publicly, but wanted to today because she believes it could help people (and she's right). Youstina (podcaster; QFX Public Relations) was born into a homophobic family in Egypt, where homosexuality is still criminalized. To make matters worse, her first same-sex experience involved her being severely lied to. Thankfully, Youstina emerged with one of the healthiest perspectives on queerness and acceptance we've ever heard (and, spoiler: Carmilla was involved).

Over the years, host/moderator Yael Tygiel has identified as bisexual, pansexual, fluid, "whatever-sexual," and (currently) queer. Yael tells the story of being outed during a school assembly her freshman year of high school, and how the ensuing rumors meant she couldn't really come into her sexuality until she went away to college. She also discusses the differing reactions of her Israeli parents to her coming out, and preaches the gospel of BODY POSITIVITY! Plus: we're back in the closet!!!@yaeltygiel

In a departure from our usual format, fellow LGBT Center facilitator Ryan Wooten tells his story about coming out as HIV+. Ryan was in a monogamous relationship when he was diagnosed in his early twenties, and talks about moving from despair, to acceptance, to confidence. He explains how learning to live "proud and positive" made him the strongest version of himself, and we discuss how honestly disclosing any number of things to a partner can actually be sexy.Follow Ryan on Instagram at @fittedkid89!

Celeste Pechous (Work in Progress; One Day at a Time) struggled so much with her sexuality that, at age sixteen, she told God she was "ready if you're ready for me." Cut to today, where she proudly plays a lesbian on a TV show that literally airs back-to-back with The L Word! Celeste fills in the 20+ years in between: her first closeted relationship, finding her girl posse in Chicago's queer community, and stepping back to give her parents the time they needed to process her identity.IG: @celesteinclogs

We sit down with Avon Rogan, one half of the FABULOUS queer clothing-and-accessories company, Beyond Clexa! A Filipino-Irish background and internalized biphobia led Avon to feel like "a pervert" for being bisexual; so much so that she didn't come out until she was 34. Avon shares how she put in the necessary work to blend her family for the sake of her son, and what it's been like finding herself single again at 48. Also: we dive into the murky waters of GHOSTING!Follow @onewingedavon and @beyondclexa!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We're ringing in 2020 (not too loudly, in case you're hungover) with our first ever listener mailbag episode! Some of the many topics we cover include dating someone who isn’t out yet, coming out later in life, getting over a brutal breakup, what to do when you think your friend might be queer, and what if anything we would have changed about our *own* coming out journeys. Also, by popular demand: we tease a future episode about Nicole’s poly coming out story!Check out comingoutpod.c

Comedian Mav Viola (Butch Pal for the Straight Gal) had an extremely sheltered Christian upbringing, to the point where she didn't know what her period was when she got it. Her coming out story includes such highlights as a game-changing Women's Studies class and a fateful trip to New York with her stepsister, and she keeps us in hysterics even through the difficult parts. Also, we learn about one of Lauren's weird turn-ons!Follow Mav on Twitter and Instagram at @mavviola! DO IT!!

Stage Manager Pita Taing joins us just one year after coming out! Pita talks about how, for her, gender "definitely doesn't" play a role when it comes to attraction, and how she has recently found herself predominantly attracted to trans and non-binary folks. We also discuss how, even as queer people, we often make assumptions about gender and sexuality based on presentation (DAMN YOU, PATRIARCHAL PROGRAMMING!!!). All this; plus we coin the phrase "horny for cuddling."Insta and Twitter: @pitabread716

Actor/queer content creator Spencer (they/them) joins us while in L.A. for the Season of Love premiere! Spencer grew up with two moms on a "queer lady commune" (THE DREAM!), but that didn't make getting outed before they were ready any easier. Spencer talks to us about the formative effect of South of Nowhere, and their recent second-coming-out as non-binary! Also, a cautionary tale about why you should always remember to close the smutty fanfiction tabs on your computer...@RiotEarp666/@beetlebitch666

As a kid, actor Lauren Neal (Westworld) used to dress in her brother's clothing, and was constantly asked if she was a boy. She talks to us about doing drag for the first time (as Prince!), the insane amount of Dyke Drama (TM) she went through in college, and the "if you ever cheat on me, I'll murder you" pact that she has with her wife (it's much cuter than it sounds). Also, how she learned to be up front and ask her family for what she wanted when it came to her relationship.Follow @TheLaurenNeal!

We have THE MOST HILARIOUS TIME with Erin Foley, professional comedian and writer for ONE DAY AT A TIME! Erin comes from a family that is so Catholic, it contains *multiple* nuns, so it's not surprising that it took her until her early 20s to even have an inkling that she was gay. She reveals the moment in a bathroom stall that sealed the deal, and the challenges she's faced since then with her good-hearted but very awkward parents. Also, grilled cheese and boobs - a winning combination!!erinkfoley.com

19-year-old Gerson Macias was always affectionate with male friends growing up, and by the time he hit middle school, his community had singled him out for this "less-than-masculine" behavior. Gerson talks about the negative impacts of machismo on Mexican men, the essay that changed everything for him, and his journey debunking the ol' "Bi now, gay later" myth... Plus, Dobby is back in the studio!Follow Gerson on Instagram at @flighttoinfinity. And hire him as a PA if you're a queer filmmaker!

Our guest this week comes to us during her campaign for CONGRESS! Frances Yasmeen Motiwalla's Peruvian mother and Pakistani father raised her as an Evangelical, but little did they know that a Mission trip to Ireland would prove pivotal to their daughter realizing she was a lesbian... Frances discusses how she went from feeling powerless to being politically engaged, the tragedy in her past that inspired her to run for office, and how LGBTQ equality is a cornerstone of her campaign.Check out fym2020.com

Artist and docent Quinn Mays (they/them) really says it best with the statement, "My identity is TBD." Quinn was raised Catholic by a single mother, and always viewed themself as very disconnected from their own body; it's only been within the past several years that they realized they were agender. Quinn shares what it's been like watching their body change, and the impact of starting to present as a young black man. We also discuss the notion of "it gets better" when "better" isn't perfect.@loljkayyy

We talk to choreographer/educator/activist Kai Hazelwood LIVE at Models of Pride, the world's largest free conference for LGBTQ+ youth and allies! As someone who had to repeatedly come out to her own mother, Kai provides words of wisdom for dealing with people in your life who are still "hanging out in the 20th Century." She also discusses her work with AmBi and Good Trouble Makers, and how she tackled her own internalized biphobia. Plus, we delve into the concept of Bi vs. Pan as labels!@kaihazelwood

QUEER HILARITY ensues when we sit down with fellow podcaster Sarah York, co-host of Dyking Out! Sarah realized she was gay in college, but it's only within the past year that she's fully come into her queer confidence and aesthetic. She talks LDRs, the impact of cutting her hair off, and the very different reactions her two sets of parents/stepparents had to her coming out. Also, how watching Grey's Anatomy with her sorority sisters led to her formative and "painful" crush on Sara Ramirez!@thesarahyork

In honor of National Coming Out Day, we've got a special guest: actor/writer/foundational human from your childhood, Mara Wilson (Matilda; Mrs. Doubtfire)! As a child star who was all-too-often accused of wanting attention, Mara suppressed her bisexuality for a long time. She discusses imposter syndrome, the need for "boring bisexual visibility," and the ways in which she gauges attraction via Marvel characters. ALSO, we find out which celebrity was Mara's first on-set crush!@MaraWilson on Twitter/Insta

Digital Producer Eden Treviño is just now coming off the roughest year of her life, but you'd never know it to talk to her. She discusses the strength and perspective she's gained from everything she's been through, and how happy she is with where she landed. Eden tells us the most cinematic coming out story we've EVER heard, which spans from Las Vegas to Mexico, and includes a literal hip injury! Plus, how The L Word's Carmen made her realize that she, too, could be a queer femme Latina.@theedentrevin

If you saw last week's announcement, then you finally know what Nicole and Mandahla were doing in New Orleans over Pride: planning for the upcoming series Delta & Daisy! While in the Big Easy, they recorded this special NOLA edition of the pod with D&D writer/producers Nancylee Myatt and Paige Bernhardt (South of Nowhere; Nikki & Nora). Wives Nancylee and Paige share their (very different!) coming out journeys, and the story of how they met the old-fashioned way: through ex-girlfriends.@DeltaAndDaisy

TV Writer/Producer Kim Kressal (Lesbian Love Octagon) spent her adolescence unaware that lesbians even existed, but later dove headfirst into the lesbian culture of late '90s NYC. She talks to us about getting both "gay married and gay divorced," her experience 'passing' as straight while in a relationship with a trans man, and the time she accidentally left a strap-on at her mom's place(!!!). Also, debunking the trope of the predatory lesbian, and the BEST Ani DiFranco song you've never heard!@kkressal

We're celebrating Bi Visibility Month with HILARIOUS comedian Teresa Lee! Teresa grew up identifying with straight femme culture (sororities, pageants, etc), and pre-coming out, referred to herself as "a straight girl who liked girls." She discusses the struggle to be visible as a bisexual person in a straight-presenting relationship, and shares how her father's acceptance has evolved over time. Also, the titillating story of how she may or may NOT have made out with a Victoria's Secret model!@leresatee

We get our minds blown by our first ever AROMANTIC guest! John Arrow (a second grade teacher and founder of TGI Femslash) has come out as *five* different things over the years (including bi and trans), but his aromantic identity is by the far the most recent. John discusses the societal pressures to be coupled, and opens our eyes to the term "amatonormativity," the idea of queerplatonic relationships, and the notion of squishes!Registration for TGIF/F opens Sept. 9! Go to tgifemslash.com for details...

24-year-old Em Westheimer (YouTube's AndroGenetics) identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, but also waffles with use of the word "girl." Their story is difficult, but Em tells it with such grace, self-awareness, and humor, that they manage to keep us laughing throughout. We also discuss the LaRouche movement (the stifling political cult that Em was raised in), and why queer people often feel pressured to "figure out" why they're queer, when straight people...don't.Em is on IG at @siri_ew.

We're changing things up today with a fantastic coming out essay that was sent in to us by a listener! Breeann Campbell grew up with cerebral palsy, so she already felt like an outsider around her peers. When she started to develop feelings for girls in addition to boys...things got even more complicated. Nicole and Lauren read and discuss Breeann's beautiful coming out story, which includes a *heaping* dose of HARRY POTTER!Check out the full text of Breeann's story at comingoutpod.com under "Resources"

We go deeper into all things poly than we ever have before with filmmaker Lise Angelica (Other Loving)! Lise was part of a long-term poly triad 13 years ago, well before polyamory was widely talked about. She discusses the struggle of feeling like a stereotype when you're both bisexual and poly, and what it's like to come out as gay, then bi a decade later, and first start dating men in your mid-30s. Also: the powerful effects of Poison Ivy (not the plant)Follow @otherloving, starring Nicole!

Journalist Trish Bendix (The New York Times, etc.) is such a fixture in queer media, you would never guess she had no idea she was a lesbian until she was twenty years old! She's got a good theory as to why that is, though... Trish shares about her first relationship in college, and the benefits of continuing to play truth or dare into adulthood. We also discuss the merits of experimentation, the nuances of such classifications as "heteroflexible" and "waist-up bisexual," and GENTLEMAN JACK!@trishbendix

Transmasculine filmmaker/director Jett Garrison (These Thems) only transitioned three-and-a-half years ago, which now has him "just on the other side of puberty" in his mid-40s. He tells incredible stories from his life, which include serving in the Air Force prior to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and being a morning DJ in the late '90s on the only all-female radio show in the country! Also, the challenges that transitioning can present in a marriage, and what it's like to date in what is essentially a new body.

In today's special episode, we speak with Susan Cottrell of FreedHearts, an incredible organization that helps parents (especially religious parents) embrace their LGBTQ+ children. Susan discusses choosing her daughter over her church, and offers invaluable tips on approaching parents who have not yet been able to do the same. She also talks about reframing faith in the most loving terms imaginable, and debunks the infamous Bible passages that are often used against the LGBTQ+ community.freedhearts.org

We go deeper into gender than ever before when we're joined by footwear and accessories designer and trans/non-binary activist, NiK Kacy! NiK started their gender-free company because they were tired of shoes being limited to the binary, so it's not surprising that this concept extends to their entire life. We get an ED-U-CATION as NiK talks about their journey from coming out as gay, then butch/masculine presenting, then trans, and finally non-binary. We talk shades of grey in gender, queerness, and more!

At 15 years old, comedian Brooklyn Jones (Flex & Shanice) asked her mom "Do you think I'm gay?" She then put the question out of her mind for years...until Chicago Fire and Once Upon a Time brought it right back to the forefront! Brooklyn tells us about her first date with a woman, and how intersectionality can sometimes make it feel like your different identities are pitted against each other. Plus, community in-fighting, and the good ol' Straight Girl Conundrum (TM)!@itsbrooklynjones / @ItsBklynJones

Shantell Yasmine Abeydeera (Girls Like Magic) grew up in Australia with very religious Sri Lankan parents, and felt tremendous pressure to meet their expectations. Yaz details her difficult but inspiring story, speaking candidly on toxic relationships and substance abuse ("It's incredible that I'm alive"). She shares how she came to love herself and her sexual identity, and how she's learned to cultivate a peaceful relationship with her mother. Also: Yaz's pizza theory!IG: @shantell_yasmine_abeydeera

We're closing out Pride Month with a FANTASTIC episode featuring Kirsten Vangsness of Criminal Minds! Kirsten is *incredibly* open and hilarious while discussing her journey and insecurities about the "validity" of her queerness. We tackle such topics as shame, the intricacies of bisexuality, internalized homophobia, and all the ways in which we worry that we're "bad queers." Also, a play-by-play of girl/girl sex, and a...unique take on the "Two Wolves Inside You" proverb.@kirstenvangsness / @Vangsness

Glee's Dot-Marie Jones has always been 100% authentically herself. To that end, she didn't have a big defining moment regarding her sexuality; "it just was." Dot talks about how being bullied in school informed the way she moves through the world, and how playing Coach Beiste allowed her to represent the underrepresented in more ways than one. She also tells the story of how she met her wife, which will make you UNEQUIVOCALLY BELIEVE IN FATE! Plus: arm wrestling in Moscow!Follow Dot at @dotmariejones.

It's a podcaster spectacular when we're joined by Carolyn Bergier, co-host of the podcast Dyking Out! Carolyn's story includes Catholic "sex-ed," a formative moment on a waterbed, and a job at the queerest movie theater EVER. We also discuss the deep attachment that many parents have to gender roles, and the discomfort they experience when those roles are upended. Plus, Lauren asks Carolyn's advice on femme/femme dating!Follow @TGICarolyn and @DykingOut, and check out cbcomedy.com and @everygaysusan!

We're so excited to be kicking off Pride with host, actor, and activist Amber Whittington of YouTube's Amber's Closet and Season 2 of Girls Like Magic! Amber was one of the only WOC at her Catholic high school, so when she realized she was gay, it seemed like coming out would be a lot of added pressure to carry. Amber talks about what lead her to ultimately be so open and vocal about who she is, a journey that involves basketball, Jada Pinkett, and a *surprising* number of massages!IG: @amberscloset

TV/comic book writer Amanda Deibert grew up in an extremist Christian family/community in the Deep South, where it took her a while to figure out "that lesbians were even a thing." Despite the trauma of losing her mother at 14 and getting kicked out of her stepparents' house, Amanda eventually landed at a high school where she found her people. Her incredibly inspiring story covers such hits as sleepovers, trying super-hard to be bisexual, Harry Potter, and a sexy foreign exchange student!@amandadeibert

When BIFL writer Kelsey O’Regan realized in college that they* were bi (cheers, Glee!), they assumed that was their coming out story. In the past year, however, Kelsey has come to understand that they're also asexual, and a whole new journey has been unfolding. Kelsey is our first ace-identified guest, and we cover A LOT! Anxiety, Christianity, the lack of ace representation, the way that sex functions in relationships, the hyper-sexualization of culture and media...and Isabella Gomez.*At the time of this recording, Kelsey was using she/her pronouns, but has since updated to using they/them. You can keep up with them on Twitter and Instagram at @goneawayawhile! Also, check out Season 1 of BIFL at https://www.bifltheseries.com/, and follow @bifltheseries on Instagram / @biflseries on Twitter to keep abreast of Season 2 news and updates!

CB Lee is the author of the young adult sci-fi series Sidekick Squad, so it's no surprise that the sci-fi genre played a central role in her own coming out as bisexual. CB shares how she writes her books for "16-year-old me," and talks about the power of seeing yourself represented in media. We discuss the parallels between queerness and superhero stories, and delve deep into mental health/suicide prevention. Also: #stillawerewolfFollow CB at @cblee_cblee, and check out her books at www.cb-lee.com!

Actor/comedian Brendan Scannell of Heathers and the new Netflix series, Bonding, joins us today, and we talk BDSM for the first time on the pod! Brendan discusses overcoming his fear that expressing his femininity would make him unattractive to other men, and spills everything about his "Gay Rumspringa" (don't get too excited; it was in the 7th grade). Also, first loves, The Prince and Me, and a Christmas wish list that is...very advanced for a 9-year-old.IG: @bscan / Twitter: @BrendanScannell

It's a special family episode when we're joined by Nicole's Aunt Renee! Renee Kasman came out nearly 45 years ago, and some of the incredible highlights from her story include being a queer woman in 1970's NYC, and taking the state of Tennessee to court with Nicole's Aunt Nina! She also shares a foolproof answer to the age-old question, "Which one of you is the man?", and we do a cringe-worthy reading from a 1958 book Renee was given as a child on the dangers of "female homosexuality." YIKES.@chettie123

In this can't-miss episode, we sit down with wise and wonderful actress/writer/storyteller/healer Dalila Ali Rajah! Dalila didn't discover her attraction to women until she was in her mid-twenties and in a serious relationship with a man, but when she went there...she went BOLDLY. Dalila details her years-long journey as we take a DEEP dive into polyamory, bisexuality, motherhood, and gender. Also, Nicole has a second coming out of her own...!Follow @dalilaalirajah everywhere / www.dalilaalirajah.com

In our first LIVE episode, we talk to BRIANA VENSKUS at CLEXACON - OMG! Briana grew up in North Carolina with very accepting parents, but in an environment where she was otherwise "pounded with religion." She discusses dating her first girlfriend at 13, tells another coming out story without which her own wouldn't be complete, and explains how leading with empathy and kindness has always served her well. We also take questions from the audience, and Briana shares the greatest breakup line of all time!

It's our first-ever COUPLES EPISODE! Jill and Amber Rivera (BIFL creative team) both identify as pansexual, but because they're in a female/female relationship, most people unwittingly assume they're gay (silly people...). We discuss erasure/visibility, and Team Jamber tells us how their individual coming out journeys merged together a few years back, and why chosen family is so important. We also talk fan fiction, since we have a REAL LIFE SHIP on the pod today, people!Trailer at www.bifltheseries.com!

Comic Henry Epstein (Portland Queer Comedy Festival) came out as gay at 13, but it wasn't until coming out as non-binary that the "celebratory missing piece" of their story fell into place. Henry tells us the ways in which body dysmorphia informed their relationship with gender, and discusses what it's like to be a non-binary person with male presenting privilege. We also talk code switching, tackle the semantics of "you guys" and "dude," and mourn the disappearance of Nicole's ass (RIP).@okhenryepstein

JD Barton is a doctoral student in clinical psychology, and our very first guest whose coming out story involves a CELEBRITY! (...But not like that.) JD's methods of dealing with his sexuality included becoming super-religious as a child, and later crafting the personality of the "hilariously-sassy-but-totally-desexualized-gay-guy!" in high school. He also talks volunteering for The Trevor Project, gives insider tips on how to find cheap mental health resources, and makes us snort-laugh.IG: @notjdbee

Actor/writer/VO artist Martha Marion comes to us right smack in the middle of her coming out process! Martha always preferred queer spaces and queer community, to the point where she really felt like it would make more sense if she was gay. But she was never attracted to another woman until her early 30s, when she met someone and "a switch flipped." We discuss fear of appropriation and "not being queer enough," as well as the magic and wonder of Gay Puberty (TM). Also: ten alternate terms for bisexuality!

Growing up, actor Michael Sasaki (BIFL; Kidding; S.W.A.T.) was a competitive figure skater and the kind of guy who "always had a girlfriend." Michael discusses finding his truth by way of the Robinsons-May catalog, mistaking club culture for gay culture early on in his journey, and coming to terms with the fact that his Japanese heritage might be somewhat in conflict with his sexuality. Plus, puka shells and spiky hair - must be an early 2000's coming out!Follow Michael on Instagram at @mikeisready.

We're joined this week by Nicole's bestie and our first "dyke"-identified guest, Jo Lampert (Transparent; Orange Is The New Black)! Jo is a force of nature, and our conversation with her spans a mistaken claim of asexuality, the knee touch under the table that changed everything, and the years-long evolution that allowed Jo to finally be "visible and vulnerable in love and in sex." Also covered: humping!See Jo in Season 6 of OITNB and the series finale of Transparent, and check out #joequalitylampert!

Writer Louis Peitzman (BuzzFeed News; The New York Times) regales us with a series of hilarious stories from his coming out journey, which started with LiveJournal and culminated on Facebook. He talks about how telling his parents was the one piece of the puzzle he struggled with for years, until - in a surprise twist! - the straightest character in RENT gave him the courage to finally come out to them. Also, a cautionary tale about what *not* to give your mom for Mother's Day...Follow @LouisPeitzman!

Triple threat Tommy Hobson (The Fresh Beat Band; Lifetime's I'll Be Watching) takes us on his 15-year journey from believing he could "pray the gay away" to being out and proud in his personal and professional life. Stops along the way include the ritualistic burning of a confession letter, and several instances of mic drop-wisdom bestowed upon him by various family members. Tommy also talks toxic masculinity, fear of letting his parents down, and girls sneaking into his bed. Wait; what?@TommyHobson

It's almost Valentine's Day, so WE FINALLY BROUGHT ON ONE OF OUR EXES!!! Actor/theatre maker/educator Tori Gaines dated Nicole at two different times, and the first time just so happens to be part of her coming out story! Tori walks us through how she's navigated life as a "tri-bi" woman (bisexual, biracial, and bipolar), and we also talk about the vast importance of visibility. Plus, the Legend of Nicole's Tiny Jean Shorts!Follow Tori on IG at tori__gaines (that's a double underscore)!

Actor Greg Barnett (Pretty Little Liars; Raising Hope) was born and raised Mormon. Despite having realized he was gay in high school, he still planned to follow "the board game of Mormonism," which meant marrying a woman and having a family the 'traditional' way. Greg describes how he came to choose a different path, and how his relationship to his faith is still evolving. We also deep dive into religion, and along the way make some excellent metaphors involving tapas and 3D glasses!IG: @gregdbarnett

Ashley Holzer (a teacher's aide and mother of three) came into our lives via the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group, and *wow* is her story incredible. Ashley covers so many important things we had not explored on the pod until now, including parenting, getting sober, divorcing her best friend, grappling with mental health, and enduring loss; ALL while coming to grips with her sexual orientation. She is a champion, and we're so grateful to her for sharing her story!Ashley is on IG at @asholza.

South Asian actor/filmmaker Shaan Dasani (Razor Tongue; These/Thems) grew up in North Carolina, and spent his childhood believing that he would grow up to be a man – until puberty hit. In one of our favorite discussions yet, Shaan tells us about the steps he took to try to "be straight," his eventual realization that he was actually transgender, and his present-day experience navigating masculinity as a "very binary-looking" trans man. Also, THE MOST TENDER STORY ABOUT A TINY TUXEDO!Follow @ShaanDasan

We finally get to chat with everyone's Fairy Gaymother, Dana Piccoli! Dana is a fixture in queer media, and a writer, host, and frequent moderator at ClexaCon. She talks to us about the "gay wave" that swept her all-girls Catholic prep school, and the pivotal "aha!" moment she had at show choir camp (very on brand for a coming out story). Also: being a late bloomer, and the importance of straight allies.Dana is @DanaPiccoli everywhere, and her queer romance novel Savor the Moment comes out March 15th!

Actor/comedian Clayton Farris (American Horror Story; Scream Queens) has always been attracted to men and women, but for the longest time he resisted putting a label to his sexuality. In a hilarious and vulnerable conversation, Clayton details trying on both gay and straight personas, and describes how seeing a "sex therapist to the stars" helped him to finally feel liberated by embracing the "bisexual" label. Also, we talk awkwardness surrounding sex, because SOMEBODY has to, dammit!@claytonfarris

Puerto Rican actor Vico Ortiz (These/Thems; Jane the Virgin) identifies as a "Latinx, FemBoi, non-binary, genderfluid queerdo." But above all, they are CHARMING AF! Vico talks about how their desire to emulate their parents' marriage lead them to a very traditional relationship before they realized they were queer (a discovery owed in part to a bartender mentor and Google). Vico also discusses the challenges of using modern pronouns in a heavily gendered language, and more!Find Vico at @puertoricaninja.

We're taking this week off for the holidays, but in lieu of a full episode today, we've got some exciting news to share! Tune in to hear what we've got coming up in the new year... ;)

Valentina D'Alessandro grew up in a tiny town in Northern Italy where Catholicism was ever-present, and the fact that she wasn't blonde-haired/blue-eyed made her an outsider. Despite losing a close gay family member to the AIDS epidemic when she was a child, Valentina had to carve her own path toward coming out (spoiler: The L Word was involved). She also may have let her first love give her an amateur tattoo...but we'll let her tell it, because it sounds better in an accent.Follow @ohhvalentine on IG!

Writer/comedian Travon Free (The Daily Show; Full Frontal; Showtime's Black Monday) is basically a superhero. He's hilarious, kind, successful, and one of the only out bisexual men in the Hollywood spotlight. Travon tells us about what it was like being (to quote his Twitter bio) "Straightish Outta Compton," and discusses the societal stigmas he has faced as a bisexual man. Also, for some reason, we talk about guacamole...a lot.Follow Travon on both Twitter and Instagram at @Travon.

Comedian/writer Riley Silverman (Take My Wife) gives us TWO coming out stories for the price of one! First, she talks about how her desire to be more honest in her stand-up gave her the final push to come out as trans. Then, she shares the traumatic event that ultimately prompted her to begin using exclusively female pronouns and start taking hormones. Also discussed: D&D, Ladies '80s dance night, and the trope of The Awkward Lesbian (TM).Follow Riley! Twitter: @rileyjsilverman / IG: @rileysilverman

Vanessa Hunt is a theater-maker and listener of the pod from Utah who visits LA as much as she can, in large part for the queer community to be found here. Vanessa graciously popped by on her last LA gaycation to talk to us about growing up Mormon in a small town, trying to reconcile her own feelings with her faith's views on sexuality, and eventually getting to the point where she could finally be free to be herself. Check out Vanessa's lyrics on the track "Beginning Today" by Mikelle Dowse on iTunes.

THIS EPISODE IS SO COOL! Susan SurfTone is a retro rock musician/political writer, and a former FBI agent turned NYPD attorney. Some of the freaking incredible things she talks to us about include being at Smith College the year that "everybody came out," what it was like to be a rocker in NYC in the late '80s, her conversations with the first person to throw a punch at Stonewall, and the time Andy Warhol saw her eat pizza.Learn more about Susan and listen to her tunes at www.susansurftone.com!

It's a special UK edition of the pod when Nicole and guest co-host Mandahla Rose (Episode 11) bring you a series of mini-interviews from the floor of ClexaCon London! Listen to coming out stories from across the globe recorded live at the world's largest multi-fandom event for LGBTQ women and allies. (Lauren isn't in this episode because she wasn't at ClexaCon, but she DEFINITELY ISN'T JEALOUS AT ALL.)Re-live London (and get psyched for Vegas!) at www.clexa-con.com.

In our very first Skype episode, we call the faraway land of Canada to talk to Carmilla star NATASHA NEGOVANLIS! Natasha tells us all about Freelancers Anonymous, her latest female-centric movie that she says felt like "going to summer camp." We also discuss the benefits of having a Fairy Gaymother; plus, Natasha describes a poignant moment she had while filling out a census, and shares the story of the first time she kissed a girl. Buckle up, creampuffs!Follow Natasha on Twitter and IG at @natvanlis.

Actor/singer/dancer Cloie Wyatt Taylor (Hulu's Future Man; Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) is our first-ever guest to bring a cocktail into the closet, and the result is our most hilariously candid episode yet! We discuss orgasms, gender presentation pitfalls within the lesbian community, and more; plus, listen in real time as Cloie reveals something that makes Lauren LEGIT blush...Learn all about Cloie at www.heycloie.com, and follow her across social media at @alwayscloie.

Singer-songwriter Rachael Cantu grew up in Orange County, California ("very conservative; very white; very Christian"), and it took a fated encounter at her local record store to make her realize she might not fit the OC mold. Today, she's married to a woman and tours with Tegan and Sara TALK ABOUT A GLOW-UP!!! Rachael tracks this journey with us, and also speaks honestly about the constant push-and-pull that comes with having a religious family.Follow Rachael everywhere at @RachaelCantu.

YouTuber Stevie Boebi (creator and host of the first ever Lesbian Sex Ed video series) reveals the never-before-heard story of her coming out! She talks to us about being told "you're too pretty to be gay," accidentally adopting the male gaze, and how she ultimately decided to make the kind of videos she wishes she'd had when she was younger. (This episode is not sponsored by the American Dental Association. YET.)Watch Stevie's videos at youtube.com/Stevie, and follow her everywhere at @stevieboebi.

Theatre artist Ramy El-Etreby (solo show/short story "The Ride") grew up in a conservative Muslim household. He tells us the incredible story of how he made a spur of the moment decision to come out in a very public way, and how that affected his relationship with his family, his community, and his faith. In his own words: "I don't think I anticipated the shitshow being as shitty."Follow Ramy on Twitter and Instagram at @dramarams.

We put a spin on our usual format when Nicole's mom, Karen, tells a coming out story from a parent's POV. Back in Episode 1, Nicole spoke candidly about her mother's reaction to her coming out as bisexual 17 years ago. This week, Karen is equally open and honest in talking about what the experience felt like on her end at that time, and how she evolved to where she is today.Karen Pacent is a certified coach, meditation instructor, and business leader. See the work she's doing at www.karenpacent.com.

We're celebrating Bisexual Awareness Week with author and comedian Sara Benincasa ("Real Artists Have Day Jobs;" the queer YA novel "Great"), who has the funniest coming out story we've heard so far! She talks to us about Catholic indoctrination, Queer Twitter, and what it's like to be bisexual on dating apps. Plus, we fangirl over Nicole's SUPER-CUTE HUSBAND OMG!!!Follow @SaraJBenincasa on Twitter and IG, and check out www.sarabenincasa.com for alllll of Sara's amazing stuff.

This is a difficult but important one. A.J. Salas, a Latinx writer/performance artist, was raised as a Jehovah's Witness, and experienced some of the worst things associated with growing up gay in a religion that considers homosexuality a sin. He speaks to us candidly about what he's endured, and how he's managed to emerge from it all as a confident, happy adult.You can follow A.J. on Instagram at @dreamingalexander.

This week we are joined by Leigh Holmes Foster, co-host of fellow queer podcast Lez Hang Out! Leigh tells us about the "shitshow of emotions and hormones and confusion and stuff" that she tried to hide under a facade of normalcy throughout much of high school before coming out. Also: LiveJournal, Xena, Buffy, AIM, Brad Pitt, prom, and crushing on your straight best friend. You know; the basics.Find Leigh on both Twitter and Instagram at @lshfoster, and follow Lez Hang Out everywhere at @lezhangoutpod!

Comedian AB Cassidy (This Is Us, "Lez Bomb;" pronouns: they/them) takes us on a hilarious and heartwarming ride that includes secretly applying to boarding schools and becoming “the King of Fat Camp” – and that only takes us up through age 16! They also talk to us about just recently learning to embrace the fact that they’re genderfluid, an identity that is still evolving for them. All this; plus, DOBBY’S IN THE CLOSET!Find AB on IG at @funnylezbo; all shows at www.abcassidy.com.

It’s a Very Special Episode as we’re joined by THE FIRST PERSON LAUREN EVER CAME OUT TO! Kieran Smiley (a construction manager/Lauren’s BFF from high school; see Ep 1) grew up the youngest of five boys in a Catholic, mostly-military household. He talks to us about grappling with his sexuality amidst ever-present machismo, working in a heteronormative industry, and how his father came to accept him in an incredibly meaningful way. Also, Lauren squeals a lot because she loves him, and it’s very cute.

Australian actress Mandahla Rose (All About E; Forever Not Maybe) had no idea she was gay until her mid-twenties, but once she knew, she KNEW! It gets hotter than usual in the closet this week as we talk first kisses, first hook-ups, and where to find the most authentic lesbian porn. Oh, and did we mention Mandahla was raised by nuns? This girl is FULL of surprises. P.S. #sorrynotsorry for the sexy accent.Follow Mandahla on Twitter and Instagram at @twiistedrose, and check out mandahlarose.com!

Stephanie Beatriz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) came out as bi in "tiny little bits" over a period of years, until a single tweet unexpectedly launched her out of the closet in a very public way. She talks to us about how the public perception of bisexuality is evolving, how her own coming out story informed Rosa’s on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and why seeing boobs in a museum was one of the most profound moments of her childhood (relatable).

Writer/director Lauren Ludwig ("Rob Riggle’s Ski Master Academy;" "Passive Aggressive History") grew up in the midst of a family secret that was "like a lesbian erotica," and which later impacted Lauren's own ability to come to terms with being bisexual. They take us through this, and also discuss recently coming out as genderqueer. Plus, we delve into the topic of bi erasure, and Nicole and Lauren (other Lauren) get vulnerable about their DARK PARTS...Check out @ludwigmonster and www.laurenludwig.com

Keira Ferrari grew up in the '70s in Mexico as the oldest of six children in a very religious family. She talks to us about the mental gymnastics she performed for decades to deny the fact that she was trans, until she finally started going "full time" as her authentic self in July of 2015. A lawyer of twenty years, Keira also shares how her transition brought about the decision to follow her true career dream, which is currently underway as we speak!You can find Keira on Facebook at "Keira Ferrari."

The ridiculously charismatic Lance Lowe shares stories about growing up as a queer man of color, advocating for trans folks, and coming out to his mother just TWO WEEKS before we recorded this episode! He also teaches us the expression "queering your space," and tells the tale of his first sexual encounter via Craigslist. (Spoiler alert: it wasn't great.)Find Lance on Facebook, where he is a self-described "hot mess," or follow him on Instagram at @sir_lance_a_thawt.

Funny AF writer/comedian Ally Johnson (Playboy Radio & CBS Radio; "Butch Pal For The Straight Gal") comes on the pod to tell us what it's like when your mom knows you're gay before you do, and how a broken heart can lead to a double expulsion from Catholic school... Also, Lauren is the only one in the closet who's NOT hungover!!To help support Ally's dream of turning "Butch Pal For The Straight Gal" into a series, check out the campaign at www.butchpal.com!

Tony Award winner Daisy Eagan (HBO's Girls; National Tour of "The Humans") was recently described by a friend as having gone from "sort of bi to full-on queer-poly in under a year." Daisy talks us through the ups and downs of her awesome and still-evolving personal renaissance; plus, we take a deep dive into polyamory, and drop an s-ton of f-bombs!

Actor Marc Anthony Samuel (General Hospital; NCIS; etc.) stops by with his dogs Jeff and Rooney to talk about how he evolved from identifying as "I'm gay!" to identifying as "I'm Marc." We also discuss how coming out is a choice and not a necessity; plus Lauren and Nicole court queer-friendly sponsors!

The L Word played a big role in many of our coming out stories, and screenwriter/playwright Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim (My Little Pony; Llama Llama; Vampirina) is no exception. However, she had to deal with the added impact of her mom and older sister actually being on the show OH MY GOD WHAT YES REALLY BOTH OF THEM. Ariel talks to us about all this and more; plus, Melissa Etheridge and labels and biphobia - oh my!You can find Ariel on Instagram at @shoppenheim.

Our first guest, Brittany Ashley (BuzzFeed's "Lesbian Princess;" assorted lesbian stoner work), tells us her coming out story, which involves an Abercrombie & Fitch manager who looked like Uma Thurman, and a drunken confession in a discotheque bathroom in Mexico. Because of course.You can find Brittany at brittanyashleyfunny.com and @britt27ash on all the things.

In the pilot episode, co-host pals Lauren and Nicole talk about why they wanted to start this podcast, and then tell each other their coming out stories for the very first time! In doing so, Lauren reveals the second-most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her in bed, and Nicole explains why she absolutely must #findricki...

IT'S HERE, IT'S QUEER, GET USED TO IT. Check out the teaser trailer for Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole, a new weekly podcast launching Wednesday, June 20th! Hosted by pals Nicole Pacent and Lauren Flans, Coming Out with Lauren & Nicole is chock full of coming out stories from queer folks from all walks of life. Follow us at @ComingOutPod on Twitter and Instagram, and check out www.comingoutpod.com. Because who doesn't love a coming out story?! #comingoutpod #findricki