Hey guys this a podcast I did in conjunction with Infamous Podcast by Campside media, about my religious experience at gathering of the jugglalos. ENJOY ! Few musical acts have played the heel as well as the Insane Clown Posse. In 2011, the FBI even classified Juggalos, the group’s rabid fans, as a criminal gang. But still, every year, tens of thousands of fans make a pilgrimage to Legend Valley, Ohio, for a week of all-out debauchery. Zoe Nightingale reports from inside America’s most notorious music festival. Behind every infamous news story is a journalist trying to hold power to account. Join reporters Vanessa Grigoriadis and Gabriel Sherman as they take an in-depth look at the most explosive scandals of this century. From high-profile divorces to sex cults to the lies that started a war, they’ll guide you through the juiciest, most outrageous, celeb-filled stories of the last two decades, and give you a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to shine an unflattering light on the world’s most powerful people. A Campside Media & Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visitmegaphone.fm/adchoices A Campside Media & Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from

i love you parent - exp;lains ALOGT 

  I feel like Ahab lost in a sea of hatred looking for a great white whale to give my life meaning again. I literally don't know what to do or say anymore. The hate is so deep, the ideology is so wrong. I left this country to get away from this and the moment I'm back I literally trip and land on the laps of two actual real life trump voting, grand wizard loving men. These two were gems. Fathers, business owners, best friends, hard working Americans..and the are the reason Trump got elected.  We are fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked. I won't spoil it, but they literally contradict themselves at every turn. I couldn't believe he could say things so diametrically opposed to one another. It was like watching trump himself twirl around chasing his own hair piece. We are so fucked. That's all there is to it. Dudes like this are deciding our future, and honestly I liked them both. This isn't black and white, this is a prism of butt fuckery, and Trump doesn't even have the decency to use lube. GET ANGRY EVERYONE. Get up off your ass. RUN FOR OFFICE. CHANGE THE SYSTEMS. HEAL / REPAIR..IT IS ALL OUR COLLECTIVE BACK YARD. UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE / FOUNDATIONAL EDUCATION FOR THE GLOBE - DEFUNDING EVERYTHING - PLACES OF HEALING FOR TRUMA - UNIVERSAL INCOME - WE DON'T NEED AN INDUSTRIAL MILTARY GLOBAL COMPLEX IF WE AREN'T LIVING IN SCARCITY AND FEAR.  HOST NOTE I of course fucked up the sound AGAIN, I am the least pro "journalist" of all actual time. One day I'm going to have like a team of well dressed men with boom mikes and fancy monitors...but until then, it's just me and my medium audio skills so deepest apologies, I had to cut a lot of it due to sheer sloppy sound quality. Music: Good Ole Boys: Randy Newman Mary Don't You Weep - Aretha Franklin Edited by Emily Brodtman: Check her out at emilybrodtman.com Support me on patreon https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Rate my podcast Read my guide to life! www.zoenightingale.com support the best org ever: www.wck.org  Keep me in your prayers everyone = i have arrived in reno - basically penniless on a quest to get to actual zero. I am giving everything i love away in search of who i am without my megaphone and glitter.  LAME TIMES INFINITI 

Greeting and salutations my fair weather friends, apologies for my absence, but I needed to take a break from my own brain and reorient my north star. However, I'm back! This is my first humble offering, coverage of the best day of all time, the day that Joe Biden officially won the presidency, and NYC erupted into actual flames of celebration. THIS IS OF COURSE 4 YEARS AGO - THE QUESTION IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW. CAN WE DO IT CAN WE ACTUALLY ELECT A POWERFUL BLACK WOMAN AND MAYBE ACTUALLY GET RID OF ALL THESE OLD WHITE SCHMECKLES AND DO ANYTHING FOR A TINY GRAIN OF SAND OF CHANGE? ANYWAY:  In my life, I have never seen this kind of joy. The moment he won, I swear to you, squeals, shrieks, honks, pots and pans clanging, laughter, screams, sirens all instantaneously rolled through NYC like a thunderous cloud blanketing every ear drum in jubliant glee. So, I bought 8 mid priced champagnes, put on a red white and blue outfit, painted stars in my face, put on my FUCK TRUMP NO LUBE camouflage trucker hat that I made in times square in 2016, powered up my recorders and hit the streets. I must have gone to every bourough in the city. I was completely wasted by 12 pm. Like first day of freshman year, keg stand, girls gone wild blatto blasted. So, please expect the timber of my voice to be, how do I put it nicely...like a phone sex operator who smokes newport 100's back to back while verberally jerking off married men from Kansas. I'm not proud of it, but I yam what I yam, and unfortunely for you, this is not my best work. What's worse is that I did like 100 more interviews only to realize that my card had been full the whole time. Just sloppy journalism all around. BUT, this was just the most beautiful day. The dancing, the joy, the tears of relief made the air electric and the day finalized in a burning man like mega rave in McCarren park where we danced until the sun came up. It was magic baby. Anyway, the goal is not to go to brunch. The goal is to continue to fight for the world we want to live in and cleanse ourselves of the last four years, try to eek out a little dignity and restore our country to some semblance of the dream it is supposed to represent. Keep fighting, stay vigilant everyone. All eyes on our you Georgia, make us proud. PS! Shout out to Sean and Cass from the Very Ape Podcast for letting me accost them with my microphones that day, I LOVE YOU BOTH SO FUCKING MUCH IT HURTS. Check out their most excellent podcast at www.veryape.tv Follow me! @drznightingale = insta @genuinelyfalse = twitter www.zoenightingale.com = website Artwork by @danadrewdles Music: America, Team World Police - Matt Stone/Trey Parker Sync 84 - Noah Lampert - check out his amazing podcast at www.syncpod.com

  HELLO BEAUTIFUL BURNERS - It's me! PARTY BOOB - NOW, if you would like, I would prefer, with consent, at your consideration, with careful OBSERVATION to be called: DRUMROLL PL$ASE  ZOE(TROPE) - MEANING WHEN I AM SET UP TO FOLLOW LIGHT I MAKE MAGIC OUT OF PLASTIC ( SHOUT OUT TO @bbpictures YOU GENIUS FOR SHOWING ME) I AM NOTHING. I AM EVERYTHING. YOU ARE GOD I AM GOD IT IS ALL THE SAME.  AI IS AMAZING ITS GIVEN ME TOOLS I NEVER COULD USE CUZ I DON"T GET TECH FULL GUIDE AVAILABLE HERE www.zoenightingale.com/burner-guide-2024-edition CHECK OUT JOEE IRWINS WORK HE IS GENIUS @Joeeirwin  THIS SONG WAS MADE BY A BURNER FOR A BURNER USING AI plus INSANE CLOWN POSSE plus LCD soundsystem plus LSD CLOWNSYSTEM  IF YOU LIKE THIS PLEASE SUPPORT MY PATREON - EVERY DOLLAR HELPS ME GET TO THE PLAYA THIS YEAR - GOTTA CLAP FOR TICKERBELL TO LIVE - CUZ THIS OLD BURNER IS ENERGY AND WELL LETS SEE IF PLAYA CAN PROVIDE 1 TICKET - 1 CAMP WITH SPOT FOR ME FOR THREE DAYS MAX (tuesday / thursday) LOVE THE ARTIST FORMALLY KNOWN AS BOOBY TRAP AKA ZOE TZIPORAH SUPERSTAR NIGHTENGALE WISEMAN // ACTUALLY ZOE(TROPE) SUPERSTAR MOTHERFUCKING NIGHTINGALE www.patreon.com/oralfixation and last but not least. THANK YOU SNOW LEAPORD KING JIMMY VALLANCE - a year long acorn - FOR SEEING ME - and teaching me how to record WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS MY REALITY. I COULD HAVE DONE NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING WITHOUT JIMMY VALLANCE. I COULDNT HANDLE YOUR BEAUTY AND TRUTH I WAS NOT WORTHY OF YOU I AM SO HAPPY YOU FOUND ANOTHER Z TO KEEP YOU SAFE AND COVER YOU IN FLUFF I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BABY BOY KING 

Greetings from the woods! I am hiding out once again in the safety of the trees - away from the voices that distract me from working on MY version of the truth through storytelling. Again - Im trying to learn how to use my voice for good - In a more serious way - and while this episode has a large pause at end I coudn't fix cuz brain isn't working - and it isn't "done" yet, but i've been working on it for so long I just had to just stop and just get it out before I got scrared again that I would get hate messages etc blah forever - I stand in my truth - I am still learning - every day what the "truth" is and what is just trauma + the loudest storyteller in the room (written down too!)  I hope people can hear how much I love Jews / Isreal...and how proud I am of my lineage // my family - BUT THAT WE HAVE TO CHOSE HUMANITY OVER TRAMATIZED TRIBALISM - at least that is what I THINK. I'm open to discussion and to listen.  That's it. I pray for peace, in myself, for everyone who is going through this endless universal timeless pain. Love,   Tziporah Nightengale Wiseman (actual birth certifcate at Hebrew School, THEY have witnesses) SHOUT OUT TO PRINCE LOVE AND SINGA AND - David Kiss  - best father ever - best husband ever - worst jew ever BESIDES ME for being brave enough to talk about this - it's NOT EASY TRUST US WE ARE "BRAVE".... adjacent. I'll be making a list of more resources for info I trust and places you can donate to help feed people and do epic humanitarian work like WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN  you can find all my stuff at www.zoenightingale.com if you want to support my work all money goes to planting trees in isreal - ha! just kidding i already have like 1 billion in my name planted by my grandparents - it goes to helping me pay editors and go thriugh my 100 of hours of tape i haven't edited xxx https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation no pressure - but every sheckel counts   

HELLO BEAUTIFUL BURNERS - It's me! PARTY BOOB - and AI is amazing and look what HAL LOVEMENT MADE FOR ME out of my writing ! BEST SHIT EVER!!! FULL GUIDE AVAILABLE HERE https://www.zoenightingale.com/burner-guide-2024-edition IF YOU LIKE THIS PLEASE SUPPORT MY PATREON - EVERY DOLLAR HELPS ME GET TO THE PLAYA THIS YEAR - GOTTA CLAP FOR TICKERBELL TO LIVE - CUZ THIS OLD BURNER IS  ENERGY AND WELL LETS SEE IF PLAYA CAN PROVIDE  1 TICKET - 1 CAMP WITH SPOT FOR ME FOR THREE DAYS MAX (tuesday / thursday) - 1 E BIKE (MINE IS BROKEN IN STORAGE LAME)  LOVE BOOBY TRAP AKA ZOE SUPERSTAR NIGHTINGALE WISEMAN  https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation

So lets be "honest" I've been going through one of the MOST difficult times of my lifetime.  WHY - we'll get to the "fact" later - but for now I stand in tribunal against my entire family as to how a series of events over my 40 birthday actually went down. I threw myself a 9 day celebration - two different events - two houses - 75 people at the first event called the Olympics - 50 mostly newer friends people with babies AND MY FAMILY - to a Healing Zen sanctuary called TRUE NORTH. It was - what I "thought"-  THE MOST AMAZING mini burning man and the most incredible testiment to 'ME" and the world I want to build and see - while also being the most challenging insanity I have ever unleashed to pull it off.  At the end of it - my family - who I just wanted to show i was abundant - wealthy - rescourced and that they didn't need worry about me - turned around and reached a verdict collectively  about the version that they projected onto "me" that humbled "me" to "my" knees and lead "them" to go behind my back and convince my "community" to try to take away my voice and do some things that left me so scared and angry - I almost litreally thought I could never speak to them again and they are my most important people.  It has been - to say and understatement the most painful experience of waking up - i've ever had. ya'll take acid - yeah i don't either usually - i did once and it was a HUGE mistake = but if done right - Acid is just wow. Wow. oh my god wow. I learned so much and i needed to learn it = but FUCK ME DO NOT TAKE IT IN FRONT OF YOUR WHOLE FAMILY = idiot stimpy.  Anyway this is a converstion with my uber driver "Muhammed" who helped me think though some of my dark thoughts I have.  I LOVE YOU FAMILY - I'm sorry you guys always thought I was so crazy. i am crazy - but i am also a god given genius and i will not stop my quest to show. a differnt way to live.  No editing here - just what "happened" ZOE SUPERSTAR NIGHTINGALE WISEMAN (name on birthday certificate - I have witnesses 

I just turned 40. Which in my mind was always a scary age because it was the age of my mother when she had me. We are very different my mother and I. She is very classy, highly educated, deeply feminine and downright elegant....and I...well..I have always been a mirror she did not have the easiest time looking into. At the moment - my family is in complete crisis, and I have finally decided to take a break from being part of our family system. It's the hardest thing I may have ever done. I can barely sleep - the anxiety that I'm hurting them by taking the space I need to heal - is excrutiating - but I have to do preseve my sanity and that's ok. Sometimes you have to walk away from the things you love most and pray for the strength to come back together stonger. I am praying to let go of the literal weight my choices had piled on top of my broken shoulder bones. I have never been good at taking care of myself. But I will now, and I am growing the fuck up and putting down this insane idea that other peoples happiness and nervous system regulation is my job.  No matter what else happens in my life, hopefully I will be able to convince her that despite my appearence, language, lack of conventional succcess markers that I'm going to be ok. That all the lessons she's been teaching me in her way have finally come home to roost. Anyway wish me luck - this will be a really lonely time for me - but that's ok - sometimes you just have to do the shit you hate to provide yourself the best chance of living the life that you have dreamed of having since you could blink. I LOVE YOU MOM. WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Music: Sia, Elastic Heart Remix by Noah Lampert Cruel Intentions remix - Simian Mobile Disco    

YES. FINE. MY SISTER WROTE A FUCKING HORRIBLE BOOK EXPOSING ALL MY SECRETS ABOUT HOW I WAS ABLE TO MANIPULATE AND CONTROL PEOPLE IN MIDDLE AND HIGH-SCHOOL - FINE. But I didn't want to take responsibility for the narrative that Tina Fey made me into, and I refused to look at my behavior, because it was what i need to do to survive in the fanciest school - with peoiple who worshiped money and power and I felt like i had no money and power because my father lost all our money when I was little and then my mom had to leave me so she could save our house and keep me in the trappings of private education and my sister had to go to college to learn how to survive and I was left alone, and I was terrified and lonely and had no access to the money that everyone else had, so in order to not literally want to kill myself.... I learned like a evil computer, how to be the loudest person in the room so in case they ever found out my shame I could silence them with a look. I have spent my life trying to be different and quell the "Regina" that I "made," and only look out for people who champion light, and have trauma so I could sit with them, and let them know that their story mattered to me, and I think it was because i felt undeserving of my mother still loving me and no disciplining me and letting me run rampant and terrorize unsupervised and always holding my hand no matter what. I am ready to sit quiter and learn new skills so i can continue to do the light work I was born to do...so I invite you to hop in Ms Frizzles Magic School Bus of forgiveness so we can all move the fuck on and heal. xoxo Z .

I've learned alot - and this is something I recorded that I didn't think mattered because it was so heartfelt and had no sex or drugs or anything I used to think mattered to get attention. HEALING AND TAKING CARE OF YOU SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF OTHERS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS STOP PRAYING TO FALSE IDOLS IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU HAVE EVERYTHNG YOU NEED TO HEAL YOURSELF. I LOVE YOU. TIMES INFINITI PLUS GOOGLE.   I LOVE YOU MOM I'M BREAKING THE PATTERNS I LEARNED TO HELP ME FORGET MY TRAUMA - AND I WILL BE TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO BECOME SOBER - STOP BELIEVING IN ALL THESE FALSE FUCKING IDOLS THAT HAVE BEEN TEACHING THEM HOW TO STAY ENSLAVED TO MONEY.   

As a Jew raised and Jewish blooded human - who loves Israel and comes from Zionist grand parents -  talking about Israel / Gaza / is hard. It just is - and as someone who prides themselves on speaking my truth - regardless of consequences - I am embarrassed to say that I have  been avoiding this topic at least publicly - on the internet - because DUH this is scary to talk about.  I made like 7 podcasts after October 7th - AND I WAS TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO POST them - because I was scared / I just felt like I needed more education before saying ANYTHING that would publicly anger people more than I already do. I know. It's gross and I geuinely am embarrassed about it. HOWEVER.... let's DO THIS.... I proudly stand by Bassem - and anyone fighting for human decency - and peace.  Since I could think independently - I have spiritually and mentally rejected the propaganda that was shoved down my throat in Hebrew School - and I reject it now.  Being a Jew does not equal being a Zionists. I do not want to be a hurt person who hurts people. Ive been praying for the first time - in a long time - not sure exactly to what or who...for and end to this barbaric and disgusting blood drenched quest to occupy more land.  It is devestating that somehow after all the "lessons" that were suppose to come from being persecuted - being Jewish is quickly becoming synonymous with being persecutors.   Ilan Pappé  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilan_Pappé Gideon Levy  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gideon_Levy Norman Finkelstein  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Finkelstein Bassem Youssef : https://www.bassemyoussef.xyz You can always follow me on my website: www.zoenightingale.com instagram @drznightingale  Be my patron!! https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Rate my podcast (ONLY IF YOU THINK ITS 5 stars) on Itunes every star helps!!!  Music: There Goes My Hero: Foo Fighters

I am lucky enough to have met this spectacular combination of Clark Kent meets Martin Q Blank (the vinyl expert from Gross Point Blank). Thomas is a fucking mench, who has had spectacular luck 38 of the 41 years he's been alive but he has lived through his recent ring of fire and THANK GOD is still here to tell us the tale. A Vice writer, and television host for the last two decades, this little cutie and idiot savant (his words not mine) is here to talk to us about what it was like to be handed your DREAM job in his thirties and trolled the world to write for what was once THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD - Vice Media. This is just a mere smidgen of the rockstar shit that has done - but I decided to force him to give me a snippet of the dope ass shit he has done In his Lisa frank colored life. THANK YOU THOMAS You can learn more bout him here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Morton_(journalist) Follow me @zdrznightinlge Donate to my Patreon LOVE DR z        

WELCOME to Zoe Vs. China - four of my favorite episodes from my journey's out east. Now this has everything - tears - horror - love - struggle -heart - political unrest - regular peoples hopes and dreams to try to maintain a life in a place that is changing by the fucking second. First things first: China is insane. Hong Kong is literally like being inside of Tron. I have never in my life seen so much wealth, or been so unhappy with the cost of literally everything. It’s an amazing city, but its very difficult to live there. Some of the highest rents on the planet for the tiniest apartments, 29 dollars for a salad, you need to be a member of the Saudi Royal Family to buy gas, laundry detergent costs about one once of gold. However, it is a little fantastic shining metropolis inside of the big belly of the beast that is the People’s Republic of China. Millions and of people are everywhere. Everyone is in designer clothes, everyone has pockets full of cash and suitcases they are stuffing to the literal brim with medicine, diapers, baby formula, potions, lotions and gems. It's nuts. The whole place is a giant shopping mall. It's very odd, and made me very uncomfortable. Now, real China makes me nervous. For someone who has a large and increasingly loud mouth, this is a nightmare place to be. There are cameras everywhere, the Government is tracking you constantly and you can almost feel them creeping into this tiny little European enclave. Whenever I left Hong Kong and went into "real" China, I was almost certain I would be arrested just for being me. When Britain gave back Hong Kong to China in 1997, it signed an agreement saying that the freedoms it had enjoyed as a Colony would stay in place for 50 years, but little by little, China is violating these agreements and stripping people away of their rights. One night, after drinking far to many glasses of wine I called an Uber to take me home and my driver was so fabulously witty, so elegant and had such good dirty jokes that I decided I needed to sit down with him and ask him question after question about what was life for someone growing up in this magical place and the real dangers that are facing Hong Kongs future as the rules and regulations of the Mainland close in. You can learn more about them on their website here: www.unsungheroeshk.com/support and email Jane if you want to help her cause [email protected] Follow me! Instagram @drznightingale Website: www.zoenightingale.com Review my podcast on ITUNES PLEASE (only if you love it) BE MY PATRON!! subscribe to my Patreon www.patreon.com/oralfixation

So...how did I end up in Slab City...? Well..it's a long story. But the short version is a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go to an anarchy festival next door to a meth head campground where people would be exploding home made bombs and setting cars on fire and I said....maybe? But my curiosity about Slab City had started years ago because let me just give you a brief description of what it is. Slab City is a plot of land that is still technically up for grabs out in the middle of nowhere 3 hours past Indio (Coachella) in California. Travelers, veterans, retirees, anarchists, transgenders, renegades from the law, meth heads, artists, counter culture champions, musicians, families, anyone and everyone can be found here in this tiny little oasis in the desert. There is no plumbing, electricity, mail, police, or taxes. It's a perfect little ecosystem of what can happen when humans are left to organize themselves from scratch and find ways to live in Harmony with nature while having their basic food, shelter and water needs met. Slab City has a Library, a farm, a Internet cafe, a hotel, a hot springs, a art collective, a stage with live music, people selling crafts and jewelry spread around and a fully functioning meth lab. Some plots are beautiful, with a well organized set up, some are actual garbage dumps, with questionable humans living in ways you wouldn't want to imagine. It is full of some of the most colorful humans you could imagine, and for someone like me, it's kind of a paradise. No one here has anything to lose, and nothing to hide. They have faced the elements and themselves by living out here alone in the desert and they seriously don't give a fuck. It's WONDERFUL. Before you get the Slab City is the amazing "Salvation Mountain" Leonard Knights 28 year sacrifice to God. It's insane. Primary colors pop in all directions turning a once mud light colored desert floor into a giant work of technicolor art. It's truly something everyone should see once in their lifetime. I spent four days living in an RV and trying to get people to talk to me. It wasn't easy. People rightfully so are a bit cautious when a loudmouth jewess rolls up demanding friendship and community. But I eventually won a couple over and then the doors to Narnia were opened and I fell head first into this very specific slice of the planet with it's own militia, rules and regulations. love Slab City, it's full of men like him who have a heart of gold and stories until the cows come home. The main message I got here was 1. Everything is an illusion 2. We are all connected beings 3. Why would you slave your life away working to own things that provide you no pleasure? I've got a months worth of episodes coming your way. Check in every Sunday Follow me on insta! @drznightingale all my info and episodes are on my website www.zoenightingale.com Don't forget to write me a review on iTunes! itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zoe-n…id886045028?mt=2

Back to basics, back to where I belong. In a broke down NJ poorly lit convention center surrounded by Porn Stars and the people who love them, and the last frontier for DVD sales. I don't know why I love places like this so much. It's full of such wonderfully weird people, and no one gives a FUCK. There is a freedom, and a overt grime that allows everyone there to relax. The moment you step inside those doors everyone is on the same playing field. Everyone's like yeah, I'm a pervert, I admit it, and so are you so let's have a great time. I was fascinated, still am about the bravery and circumstances that would lead someone to show their tuchus hole to the world. People always say I'm so free and shameless, well I would NEVER be brave enough to record any part of my naked body and put it out for general consumption.  So, I've interviewed ALOT of different people involved in various sex related businesses over the years, and here are some of my favorite interviews involving the porn world. These have been recorded way pre pandemic - but their message and info are still fresh to death.  This shit is NFSW to the fucking max. It can be sad, it can be exhilerating, but most of all it's honest, and grimey and for me, it's some of my favorite work I ever did.  ENJOY!! Music: Sex Over the Phone: The Village People  Doin' It - LL Cool J  Don't forget to rate my podcast on apple!!  If you're feeling generous - you can always subscibe to my patreon! Every dollar goes to helping pay for the costs of my editor Josiah!  https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Check out all my work at www.zoenightingale.com  Or my insta: @drznightingale

Sean and Case from Very Ape TV are back! IN A VERY RARE INSTANCE - I have sat down and let someone interview ME, about what's been going on in my life, sobriety, the doc I filmed for burning man, sex, love and of course rock AND roll, this is completely unedited, raw and covers alot of very difficult topics that will make my mother unhappy ENJOY  Find the full video of us doing this in MY APT HERE www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssp_qAZry…Lk22tPdkg&index=6 FIND ALL THEIR SICK CONTENT HERE www.veryape.tv RATE MY PODCAST !!! PLEASE ALSO BE MY PATRON!!! PLEASE ! www.patreon.com/oralfixation

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR. I am still deep in the weeds of untangling myself from the ROCKSTAR BlOWOUT me and my team put together so hopefully we can give the most love and best start possible to the people we love - the beloved warriors of NYC. It was just the most beautiful shit I've ever seen. YAY, however everything hurts. I am just a cicada shell and I of course blew out my voice AT MY FIRST cabaret show - god it was difficult but BOY WAS IT SICK AF. videos and photos posted soon. Song: Phillip Glass Knee #5

I don't even need to describe this podcast BEST SHIT EVER - LOVE // EMPATHY // STRUGGLE // LIFE // DEATH ALL OF IT RIGHT HERE IN THE PALM OF YA HAND all fa free. YOU ARE WELCOME. OMFG BESTTTTT EVVVAAA Subscribe to my patreon - ALL MONEY HELPS ME ITS SO EXPENSIVE  https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Follow me on instagram @drznightingale  check out all my shit on my webstie www.zoenightingale.com come to MY NEW YEARS eve cabaret and 15 hour party HOSTED BY ME THE DEVIL  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/uranus-invasion-a-new-years-probe-tickets-769729099457?aff=oddtdtcreator&utm_experiment=test_share_listing

ART BASEL. What is it exactly? It’s a big fuck off money laundering party where you'll see some of the most innovative art in the world but you have to search in between piles of excrement, so large, you'll think they're a set from Jurassic Park. I love artists, and I love creation in all forms, but what I don't love is that the wealthy gallery elite have sucked all of the soul and fun out of it. I am NOT saying that there isn’t bright spots of creative genius all over, all I am saying is the price tags are HILARIOUS and most of the ideas about as fresh as Monday night’s fish. What is art? I ask this question every year. Some of the things I see at Art Basel tread a VERY fine line between what I think is a discarded pile of trash and what is considered to be revolutionary art work. But...who am I to judge? Every year I go, and every year I'm left with the same question, WHY DOES THIS STUFF COST SO MUCH. Every year some guy with a german accent and cool colorful glasses explains it to me, but I still don't understand.  I have tried to understand it but this is the year I am officially throwing in my white hankie. I’m done, I’m out. The rich and famous no longer interest me. Follow me on instagram :@drznightingale  Be my patron! All money gows to helping me pay for my editor Josiah Check out my website! Come to my 14 hour 9 pm to 12 pm NEW YEARS CABARET     

Man it's been a whirlwind fall and fucking crazy winter already. I can barely keep up. Managing personal relationships, family, work, mental health, the cost of just barely paying my bills, it's just too fucking much. Take care of yourselves during December, watch your drinking, watch your overeating, watch your negative mental commentary and comparison thinking about you have have vs others, there's just something about the Christmas months that ramps up everything and pressure cooks anything you were hiding inside of you until you literally start to boil. I'm working on a multi part conversation about being jewish, growing up with zionists and what it's like to sit with the current political environment that surrounds Jewish identity and what you can do as Jew whether you are practicing or not to be a conscious participant in the dialogue, But it's complex and I want to really be thoughtful so while I make that here is a little tiny moment from the burn, that just made my heart a little lighter, All my love guys BE MY PATRON! editing is expensive!! Rate my podcast if you haven't every rating helps, xxxxooo Z

HAPPY THANKSGIVING !! Full disclosure - I've had a deeply twilight zone week of primordial ooze nonsense. I completely lost my shit not once, not twice, but THRICE THIS WEEK. Don't worry, it's not like it was public or anything...like at the self check out at CVS...or at Montgomery Mall Build A Bear, DO NOT WORRY, I kept it together. NOT. Listen. You can't fix things sometimes. Sometimes the repercussions of you and your families behavior cannot be rectified. Sometimes, your happiness and the very fabric of your being fundamentally makes people VERY MAD. Sometimes, YOU ARE an absolute dick who cannot see past their own nose and makes comments lacking empathy that can trigger someone without the proper armor to go to fucking war. So it goes. In these times, I feel like the only thing to do is laugh. These people, for a mere moment, felt like my family. Because when you laugh with someone you're no longer a stranger. So sometimes, in NYC, the whole city can BE YOUR FAMILY xoxoxox Z

There I was, snug as a bug in a rug in my bed at 3 am last Saturday night, when my temporary Roomate and bff waltzes in with a gorgeous giant security looking mother fucker, and I immediately assumed he was there for some kind of nefarious sex adventure probably to be performed in my guest room. Nothing new. BUT IT TURNS OUT - he was STRAIGHT - and cuban - and had literally just gotten out of the Paramus NJ psyche ward. So naturally I whipped out my recorder and sat with him to learn about his life and last week and may I say, I have a new fear, of being involuntary committed to an institution. SO FUCKING SCARY. Stay safe out there kids...IT"S SPOOKY TIME. TEST YOUR DRUGS - be safe out there. ALSO come to my halloween party! It's going to be sick as fuck. That's a nightingale guarantee. BUY TICKETS HERE! bit.ly/BKCHAINSAW (also if you're poor and in Nyc and want to come hit me up I'll hook you up) If this show means anything to you and you've got a couple extra bucks a month be my patron! www.patreon.com/oralfixation

I AM BACK FROM MUDDDY MAN 2023 bigger, better, harder AND full of foreskin.  I am exhausted but I managed to finish editing the second part of my burn episodes from 2022. Basically these are the lost interviews I was never going to release because remembering the end of burning man was literally too tramatic to listen to, even the amazing parts which were many. So here it is in all it's sort of glory the good the bad the ugly.  *editors note for end of episode : I was invited to be a panelist to talk about Burning Mans Impact on Culture...something like this by a friend I respect and love dearly that works for BORG and I showed up in a full police latex ripped up terminator outfit on acid after spending days talking to the hidden people who build the infrastructure of burning man - who had told me things that crushed my soul - unreal rates of suicide, depression, addiction, and fear and I was full of a rage that couldn't be stopped.  What happened at that talk, to this day still fills me with a mixture of shame, regret and pride. So i've included some of the meltdown speech I gave last year that I literally haven't been able to listen to until this very week because i was so scared of what I had done or said because I got in a lot of trouble and made alot of people mad. Oops. I did it again. No really though i am sorry, I never meant to disrespect the organizers of the talk or the other panelists. I wish I had handled myself with more compassion and composure but the only way out is through and...SOMEONE NEEDED TO SAY IT. But sorry. Seriously. Decompression guide READ THIS WHOLE THING NOW IF YOUR BACK to cure your mind body and soul BURNER DECOMPRESSION GUIDE :  https://www.zoenightingale.com/burning-man-decompression-guide If you want to contribute to my patreon to help me cover the crazy cost of making this show feel free! BE MY PATRON: https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation If you're bored rate my podcast on apple I have no idea how to link it but it helps climb the apple ranks would be so grateful ! THANK YOU TO MY NEW EDITOR JOSIAH LEJUWAAN HES THE BEST YAY COULD NEVER HAVE MADE THIS WITHOUT HIM

  It's the first day of burning man and already I'm doing it differently.  90 min massage / facial (not the semen kind) sauna - meditating - writing out hopeful manifestations of a new kind of BURN for me because the old way needs to be reduced to ashes.  I believe this is actually my 10th year....I went for the first time in 2011 - and BM blew my mind apart. I reoriented my North Star and the Man became my ultimate Siren - even though every time he smashed me into pieces and eat my heart like it was Pringles.  I became obsessed with bringing everyone - convinced that I was the only one who could be their Shepard through this place of wonder but a place that could definitely kill you.  I BROUGHT MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY - and probably around 70 friends if I really think about it. Every year it became more and more my role - it became more and more work - less and less fun and continually drained every single resource I had most signiifgantly financially but also the amount of partying I was doing and the subsequent damage I would do my body not just with physical injury (SO MANY) but mentally it took a toll so drastic that every Sept I would be set back for almost a month to really get my sleep and health and drug / alcohol use under control. ANYWAY THIS LITTLE EPISODE IS MY PRAYER - and my hope for this upcoming burning man -  I LOVE YOU MOM.  THANK YOU  RATE MY PODCAST PLEASE - it helps me move up the ITUNES RANK (only do it if you like me, duh) I just updated my wesbite yay! www.zoenightingale.com  If you want to donate to my patreon to help support the cost of my fancy new editor please do!  https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Music: Can you feel it - Jackson 5 Without You - Caribou 

FUCK SHIT FUCK NOOOOOOOO FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK  I never planned on listening to these recordings, EVER. I planned on forgetting as much as possible as I could from my 9th burn almost in a row (besides covid) and taking a much needed and extended break from the place I have dedicated my life to for the last decade. HOWEVER as people all over the world begin to prepare for BURN 2023 I thought fuck it let's fucking go. So I dusted off my gdrive and iPhone recordings from exactly a year ago and started reliving in excruciating detail my burn from last year. AND NOW YOU CAN TO. BUCKLE UP, it's going to be a bumpy ride. EDITORS NOTE - the first half of these interviews I was shit face almost black out drunk - there was no way to edit the sound of my voice or questions enough to conceal it. so fuck it. Not my best interviewing whatever it is what it it is.  BURNER // DECOMPRESSION GUIDE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU ARE HEADING IN www.zoenightingale.com/the-burner-guide Find me at 4;30 and C - Camp RELAXOMTIC (RX) inside institute village. Our camp party is Tuesday night hope to see you there! Donate to my patron if you feel like my work adds value to your life, I do it for love and certainly not money - but all of your donations go to help paying the monster costs of producing this show. DONATE HERE: www.patreon.com/oralfixation LOVE YOU BOOBY TRAP

NOOOOOOOOO what happnened to my plans? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK Amy Van Doran - Celebrity Match Maker to the stars - friend - greatest story teller of all time and I had a plan. Plans Schmans. TO THE MONEY BURN WE GO Learn more about AMY, and join the Modern Love Club www.modernloveclub.com Donate to my patreon! www.patreon.com/oralfixation Read my BURNER GUIDE - voted best on playa - www.zoenightingale.com/the-burner-guide NEXT UP BURNING MAN 2022 EPISODES ARE UP! STAY TUNED FOR ALL THE MISERY AND THE LOVE AND SWEAT AND BLOOD           

Welcome to the wonderful world of furry fandom, a magical world where everyone looks like some version of your favorite cartoon character and you can be literally anything, or anyone you want to be. Now, I know some of you may not understand this world, and neither really do I, but it doesn't matter because its just another way for people in this world to connect, find love, find friends, and express their creativity. It's not about sex, it's not lunatics who think that they actually are a dragon, it's people who have found a "fursona" that allows them to access parts of their personality that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to. I have ALOT of interviews, and I hope you are as excited as I am to open the door to this hidden world. I WILL BE AT BURNING MAN FUCK MY ACTUAL LYF  Come find me at CAMP RELAXOMATIC 4:30 and C inside the Village: The Institute  Don't forget to read my 100 page Burning Man Guide and Decompression Guides - written with a quill using my own tears and blood - found here:  https://www.zoenightingale.com/the-burner-guide If any of my humble offerings bring you joy you can be my patron!  All money goes towards supporting this one girl get a cup - and stay off ONLY FANS - cuz nobody needs to see all of that. Let me pay rent with dignity...please? hahahaha. I DON'T NEED YOU HA WHATEVER - I will always pay rent - but god it's nice to know that people find value in the work I do. OR just conect with me! I lvoe hearing from you!  @drzightingale on inta  [email protected] - email  THANK YOU TO MY MOM AND DAD WHO ARE MY LITERAL TREE SO I COULD HAVE A STARTING POINT FOR MY APPLE TO ROLL AWAY FROM. 

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time - robin williams Good golly miss Molly I feel in love with this woman. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I mean I spent most of the interview mesmerized by her face and infectious laugh. I could go on forever about how lovely it is to see a sex positive Iranian immigrant create a empire out of dick picks. You just can't make this stuff up. She gave me a ton of free swag, a t-shirt with a little trump dick, fridge magnets, and my FAVORITE the gift wrapping paper. I'm going to buy anything and everything she makes. Thank you for inviting me into your home and allowing me to bask in your glow. Check out all her work at www.dicture.com Follow her on twitter&Insta @dickturegallery Check out ALL my work www.zoenightingale.com Follow me @genuinelyfalse (twitter) @drznightingale (insta)\ Support my patreon :oralfixationtv Music: Isn't it awefully Nice to Have a Penish Love Endevour - Alice Smith - Maurice Fulton Remix BEST SONG EVER

Introducing Justin Ross Lee the "Super Charged Super Jew" who refuses to fly anything other than first class or private, runs a company called "Pretentious Pocket Square," which sells super d paisley silk pocket squares with names like,"the Bateman" "the Madoff." A guy who calls himself the "Jewish Robinhood" because he deigns to leave first class and pour the "putz's" in coach glasses of Moet. If you combined things like: Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Global warming, bottle Service, private Planes, South Beach, corporate greed, trust fund babies, herpes, russian prostitutes, Bravo TV, cocaine conversations, new money, all the Real Housewives, guys who don't wear socks, investment bankers, Republicans, Hermes belts, Dolce Gabbana anything, and put them into a blender and then added a dash of semen, a gallon a jet fuel, and a sprinkle of Vagisil and you would create the Molotov cocktail that is Justin Ross Lee. His ringtone is Ass n Titties by DJ Assault, claims he doesn't like Asian Women because he doesn't do the "MSG" and is dripping in so much false testosterone and confidence that you feel like you have to take a shower the moment you lock eyes with him. It took him all of 5 minutes to show me a picture of his Tower of Piza leaning dick which has got to be a record for me. And even though he loves girls who are "shiksalicious," meaning fake tits, big vacant eyes, and super blonde hair with a crucifix hanging in their cleavage, our entire conversation was spent with him trying to figure out whether he wanted to fuck me, or kill me maybe both at the same time who knows. This was a challenging interview for me because while he represents pretty much everything I hate on the planet I ended up really enjoying our conversation and liking him. To a fault I commend anyone who has the chutzpah to do something different in a funny way, and let me tell you this mother fucker is hilarious. He's memorized a million sound bites and spits out his little mantras like a tennis ball machine hooked up to a nuclear powered generator right at your head. I can't even fathom the amount of time he has spent in front of the mirror like Stewart Smalley. (I'm Good Enough I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people like me.) Yet, we got along swimmingly...which is disturbing onto itself But let me be clear, Justin is whip smart, and has found way to literally fake it until he made it.. So with no further ado, I present to you J.R.L vs Z.N - 35 minutes of head to head battle...who wins? I'll let you decide. (the answer is EVERYONE LOSES) Recorded and edited originally by Jimmy Vallance  Remastered by Josiah Lejuwaan  Music:  Fame - David Bowie  Rivolta - Polo and Pan  Here are some great tweets from him: Hopping a Gulfstream GIV down to Boca to thaw out my matzo balls. #FuckTheWeather#TheJewishAmericanDream Subaru needs to re-market itself as the official vehicle of slow driving lesbians with too many pets. (this is very funny) The novelty of a gorgeous model wears off the moment you fuck her and realize she’s no better than anyone else. I think I'm in an abusive relationship with LA. Every time I beat the shit out of her she always comes back. I make a flight attendant come with one finger. Can’t control the weather, but I can change it. #Gulfstream #G4 #JewJetting #PretentiousPocket#PocketSquare #PrivateJewJetting #FuckFirstClass I am an artist. I paint with Al Gore's tears. #PrivateJewJetting #Gulfstream #PrivateJet #Aviation#Cockpit #LouisVuitton #OliverPeoples #PretentiousPocket #PocketSquare ..

I was invited to record You're Welcome at a Art Gallery opening for a realistic sex exhibit, but I had taken shelter in the summer air, because the inside of the pop up gallery literally smelled like the inside of an ovary. This was due to the lack of air conditioning in a alphabet city basement that was stuffed to the gills with 100 super quaffed/perfumed fashion week model/actor types all wearing Amish hats. My girlfriend described the smell as "mangey minge" I thought it smelled like the inside of an otter's pocket. I must say it lent a realistic atmosphere to huge paintings of double penetrated v's. ANYWAY as I was cooling off, and I see this wonderful man, who could have been a character in Zoolander, with what I thought was a hilarious fashion Snork Snorkel so obviously I forced him to come share what the deviled egg was going on. Basically he's a super lovely Cyborg who no longer identifies as human, and he's launching a campaign to open the first Cyborg Institute to help others use the same technology to enhance their lives. I don't know whether I'm happy about this or not. I actually can't imagine anything worse than having a device installed in my head that would make me love Times Square. There will be no limit to where this goes once it gets started. I for one am an analog girl living in a digital world. I want less and less technology. But as cars become driverless, computers get put in front of our eyes, porn becomes 3D through oculus rift, sex dolls get heartbeats, google launches balloons to blanket the world with free Wifi...I guess I wave the white flag. Pretty soon i'm going to have to move into a log cabin get a shot gun and start muttering to myself about the good old days when I had to wait hours for Kazaa to download Space Hog. The most exciting porn I when I was young was a gold leafed Kama Sutra book in my parents room. I am scared to have children. I just can't imagine what this stuff is doing to kids brains. Instant access to the entire cess pool of human collective wants and imagination? Get ready everyone, it's all happening, and it's happening FAST. Check out all his work: https://www.cyborgarts.com/neil-harbisson Read my burner guide voted #1 kid tested mother NOT approved by all burning man here! www.zoenightingale.com  Music credit: Mr. Roboto - STYX One More Robot - Flaming Lips

I met Skylove Solei at a private sound healing that featured water beds with the instruments hooked up to giant bass speakers that were UNDER the water beds so the vibrations literally blew open your third eye and blasted you into outer space. Sound crazy? IT WAS. It was at the Pyramids of Chi in Bali, a sacred hippie dippie next level yoga compound where people of all walks of life (as long as they are wealthy) come to harness their root chakras. Sometimes, when I write words like this, I feel like I've been abducted by yoga aliens and they are in fact now typing for me. He was all angles, all muscle, lean and mean and only dresses in the kind of fancy drapey white Tulumenti robes that is usually reserved for people who like to drink Kool Aid in group settings. He seemed to glide about the room. I could never hear his footsteps. He had a heart wrenching singing voice, and could play literally every instrument I've every seen at once time. He was cool as a cucumber, and I wanted to know everything about him. So I met him again, this time for a group sound healing where women were moaning so loudly I thought either I was going bananas or someone's pineal glad was located inside of there clitoris. Hard to know either way. So we sat, inside this pyramid, surrounded by candles and giant instruments and he showed me how to play them and how he had to come to cross my path in Bali. I'll say this about Bali, no matter who you are, it's hard not to fall victim it's palpable spirituality, and eternal search of self....so much so that it's easy to become obsessed with a singular pursuit of a higher consciousness. I do not come from a world that believes in any of this, but I too, have drank the Kool Aid and I'm all about, this crystal bowl life now. But I'll say this, there is so much love in this community, and in the pursuit of their highest self, I have found the people that I would have completely written off before as looney tunes, to welcome me with open arms, listen to my skepticism and offer me their life stories simply as a testament to what can happen when you stop believing that god is out to get you and only you, and start to believe that the collective consciousness is on your side. Also included a bonus snippet I couldn't fit into our longer conversation at the very very end...I just couldn't help myself. THANK YOU SKYLOVE. You can check out all of his art at skyloveart.com Check out Pyramids of Chi here! pyramidsofchi.com I AM LOOKING FOR SUPERFANS. Please email me at [email protected] if you want to participate in a one on one survey about how I can be a better podcast creator THANK YOU!!\ Music: Love Light: Soul Clap

Introducing - Justin Jedlica - the human Ken Doll A plastic surgery aficionado who to date had over 800 procedures on his entire body. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, you name it, Justin has invented a way to modify it. Justin has been featured on countless interviews and TV programs, all which bottle him up into this packaged person, and routinely hyper fixates on his bod mod and rarely deigns to go beyond surface level to explore the bubbling geyser of identity, gender, abuse and sexuality struggles he has faced throughout his life. The more I learn about the pressures facing the LGBTQ+ community, the more I am blown away by the strength it requires to stand up to the prison like standards most cultures put around sexuality and stand proud and tall and say listen, this is who the fuck I am, deal with it. He is fascinating, and an incredible storyteller, and I am so thankful to him that he allowed me to meet the tiniest doll inside of him. Donate to my patreon so I can pay for real editing and mixing! It's a fortune! Every sheckel counts... Help my mother never have to see my on only fans...please hahaha. OR DONT WHATEVER ILL FIGURE IT OUT. https://www.patreon.com/oralfixation Follow him @justinjedlica His website: www.justinjedlica.com Follow me! @drznightingale My website: zoenightingale.com

There are moments in life where you realize, that the universe is on your side. Meeting Alain Robert, the French Spiderman, was so improbable that it must have been woven by the goddess of fate. He had just been released from prison in Manila, and I somehow ended up having brunch next to his champagne soaked celebration. I had just left Bali where I had been living for months, and arrived in Manila. I was completely disoriented, as I had been living in a jungle paradise to arrive in a super charged metropolis with over 26 million people and a current of electricity and chaos that I had forgotten about in my months living only with large blue geckos. The first night I was in Manila, the family who was living outside my window in a homemade apt that seemed to be made using only sheets of metal, duct tape, and sheer determination decided to slaughter a very large and very vocal pig. I was awoken by sounds of screaming so startling I thought I was still in a nightmare. Have you ever heard a pig die? ITS FUCKING TERRIBLE. Don't eat them, they have many many feelings and are very very smart. Anyway the next day I was working at the bar of my hotel, drinking a glass of overpriced white wine when the most curious man walked through the door. This man, was wearing, the coolest outfit I have ever seen. It was almost completely snakeskin, his belt, cowboy boots, pants and vest ALL SNAKE in different colors, one of which was a metallic silver. He rocked up to the restaurant with a huge entourage and they started bringing him bottles of Moet and I thought to myself, yep, this guy and I are destined to be fast friends. So I somehow tricked him into letting me bring out my microphones and while we eat pasta dripping in cream and mushrooms and fresh French bread he let me interrogate him about who he was and why of all the bars in Makati, he had wandered into mine. Who he is, is possibly the most inspiring man I have met. A man whose story brought me to tears and refilled my trampled heart with a kind of hope I forgot existed. I love you Alain. Thank you for being you. Music: Spiderman theme song 1962 Laidback remix SoulClap - Bakerman www.zoenightingale.com CHECK OUT ALAIN www.alainrobert.com

Happy FATHERS DAY! This is a edited version of an episode I recorded with my father when I was at Art Basel, I'm putting it out now, in honor of my one and only father, because I am the best and worst daughter imaginable. Dad, thank you for your brain, and your love of language and words and always making me laugh. You are my tree, and this apple has not rolled very far from it's roots. This description of this episode was written a long time ago but it still holds true today: For the most part, fancy parties, rich people, and expensive modern art are lame. The thing that makes me bananas is that we live in a world of over educated humans who will spend hours discussing the evils of Trump, Republicans or greedy corporations who turn their backs on their fellow man, while doing it themselves every day. At least Trump is on brand, he has categorically stuck to his beliefs which are: fuck everyone, and grab mother nature's pussy without shame. But I have found recently a giant swath of bleeding heart liberals who claim to care about others, while participating in the same systems that subjugate humans and destroy the planet...All I want is for people to look up from their phones and into the eyes of people in the streets. They are people, they deserve our love and support. I wasn’t going to ever let this episode ever see the light of day, I have tons of work where I feel like it’s not “funny” enough, it’s just another sad sack who made bad life choices and my listeners probably only want light and love and comedy in these dark days, but I really had such a hard time at Art Basel with the juxtaposition of money and art that’s trying to make a commentary on our society and change people's mindsets that’s really just a pig with a sephora level makeover that’s another high brow way to celebrate money being the golden calf idol that we all pray to. Fuck that. Just do small things in your life to give back the love that’s given to you. People are desperate for just one other person to give a fuck while fancy people in turquoise geometric glasses sip Perrier Jouet in long stemmed flutes waxing poetically about how this 27 thousand dollar bronze dick sculpture is helping change the landscape of female rights. Nothing changes anything besides random acts of kindness and selfless gifts of love. Get it together first world, the way you live your life bores me. Music: Let me Be Him: Hot Chip All is Full of Love: Bjork

HI hi hi !  I did it here is a totally unedited podcast uploaded because I promised myself I would do something every Thursday and while I work on much longer more complicated stories, he's just a fun snapshot of life from last night Much Love Z You can find all his work on  insta: @humaninstruments  www.human-instruments.com

WELCOME JUSTIN SIGHT to the You're Welcome Podcast! I have loved him for a decade when I found this man on a craigslist ad and hired him to do a burning man party I was throwing approximately an EPOCH AGO. GET READY. HES THE FUCKING BEST. This was recorded years ago and went into my endless archives and we'll be doing a update with him shortly.  Check out all his work here: https://www.justinsightmagic.com @justinsightmagic Instagram Twitter @awaken your magic  COME TO MY CARE BEAR AFFAIR JUNE 9TH!!

Hi Everyone!  I'm back! I know, I know it's been a while, but I am finally ready to start releasing new podcasts again. So stay tuned, I'll be putting out new episodes every Thursday, and I have so so so many that have just been sitting gathering dust in my hardrives. Furries, Burning Man, protests, random strangers I've met in my travels, politicians, sex workers, drag queens you name it I've got it.  I want to say a huge THANK YOU to PJ Vogt, the creator of one of my favorite podcasts of all time Reply All, who is now the host of his own show called Search Engine which you can listen to HERE  To Vanessa Grigoriadis from the show Infamous, made by Campside Media found HERE,   To Nick Van der Kolk from the literal best podcast of all time Love and Radio found HERE  Without you I never would have been able to keep doing this thing that I love more than anything in this world for the last decade. I love you, thank you. xoxoxo Z Ps you can always find all my work on www.zoenightingale.com

Hi everyone, Editor Emily here. I’ve been the editor of this podcast for the last three years and I’ve had the pleasure of watching the You’re Welcome with Zoe Nightingale community grow into such a loving, compassionate group in that time. Zoe is currently caring for a gaggle of Burning Man virgins, so I’ve taken over to bring you all the newest Burning Man scammer.  This episode is a bit different. How does one use the Burning Man principles to cure the hurt in this world? Is the infinite power of love strong enough to help a negative outlook of the world and truly poor decisions? What if those decisions hurt your community or those you care about? In this episode, Zoe was contacted through Facebook by somebody calling themself Aishat, who was looking to sell a ticket to Burning Man. This started as your standard scam offering fake tickets but quickly turned when the scammer admitted their lie. Not only did they steal the name and image of a transgender woman, they have quite the story to tell. It’s not often you get the chance to speak to the real person behind the scam, hear their reasoning, and actually level with them about their actions. Despite this scammer actively targeting the Burning Man community and disrespecting the identity of this woman, we wanted to help them change. To the scammer: We don’t harbor anger towards you. We don’t want to get you in trouble. Anyone can change, your past decisions don’t have to weigh down your future. For those of you attending Burning Man, I hope you all have an amazing time. Check out the Burning Man section on Zoe's website for all her tips, tricks, and must-read guide to Burning Man! zoenightingale.com/burningman https://tinyurl.com/Burning-Man-Guide Music by: Noah Lampert - Wicked Games (remix) https://www.syncpodcast.com/ Edited by: Emily Armstrong  https://ebrodtman.wixsite.com/emilylaurenedits

My long lost series from the Gathering of the Juggalos from last August. To say that I've had a hard year creatively - would be an understatement. I think you all know how much I love podcasting. But the last couple years has been quite a rattling experience - and I wasn't able to figure out how to stay alive financially and support this little podcast of mine. When pandemic hit, I kept my apt...and went into hiding in California. Did I pay rent? Oh you bet I did not. Was my apartment way to expensive for me even with a job? YOU BETCHA. I thought I would have some sort of miracle bail out from the government - and I was wrong...Eventually I owed my landlord enough money for him to break my knees in the olden days, and to fix this - I had to sell everything I had - and go seriously off the grid to rebuild my finances and had to take job after job that left me almost no extra resources to support my passion - of podcasting. Not only that...but when I finally got my finances together and started really working again, I met the devil. Literally. High cheek bones, late fifties, head to toe covered in rhinestones, hair like rapunzel...and I fell in love...not romantically but with every single word that came out of this demons mouth. Now, I do dangerous shit all the time while podcasting. I meet strangers, I invite them into my life and world, sit in dark corners and let the floodgates of their past pour over me. This time however, this is the time, my luck ran out. I interviewed him three times, for over 6 hours, I thought this was going to be like my crowning achievement of truly enrapturing a life...turns out...he was a con artist, and a really scary on at that and the end of this left me and emotionally destroyed. I walk around with alot of trust in humans and in myself - and that my mothers white light will protect me from evil most of the time...well...after this experience I literally couldn't pick up my microphones for months or even look at the sound files. HOWEVER - enough is enough - I've never been one to let fear guide my behavior for too long, and after one million beautiful moments of spontaneous human joy and kindness since, I am ready to try this ONE MORE TIME. cuz....fuck it. You know? So here it is one of my lost moments in time - I'm not sure if I ever really left this festival. The Juggalos left a profound impact on my heart. THIS LITTLE CLOWN IS READY TO FUCKING GO. Wherever you are I send you endless light and love and deep deep luck to get through whatever hardships you are experiencing. LOVE ZOE gatheringofthejuggalosfestivalmusichorrorcorerapOhiomethdrugsdepressionfamilyLGBTQ zoenightingalethisamericanlifePodcaststorytellingviolencegotj21nickvanderkolkloveandradioinsaneclownposseclownvanillaicegaytrumpinclusivemegaphoneslove      

HELLO! It is I, here to wish you a very happy thanksgiving, and in case you're hiding from your family in a spacious linen closet, I have prepared a small amuse bouche for your ear holes. I am finally ready to release some of the content I made at the Gathering of the Juggalos that I went to in August of this year. It had been two years since they had been able to gather and the energy was literally ELECTRIC, the Faygo was flowing, and the whoop whoops could be heard from every corner of the festival grounds.  Now what is the "Gathering?"  The Gathering of the Juggalos (The Gathering or GOTJ)[1] is an annual festival put on by Psychopathic Records, featuring performances by the entire label roster as well as numerous well-known musical groups and underground artists. It was founded by Jumpsteady, Insane Clown Posse (Joseph Bruce and Joseph Utsler), and their label in 2000. Described by Joseph Bruce as a "Juggalo Woodstock"[2] (Juggalo being a nickname for fans of the Insane Clown Posse), the Gathering of the Juggalos spans five days and includes concerts, wrestling, games, contests, autograph sessions, karaoke, and seminars with artists.   I would define it as a place where straight men greet each other by showing one another the inside of the their tuchus hole...with some of the nicest people you'll ever meet - where you get sprayed with soda that is composed of toxic levels of sugar and yellow 5 and the shower lines are so long that you literally have this sludgey syprupy shit on your skin so long that you almost turn into a mutant lisa frank animal.   It's the hardest thing I've ever tried to collect stories at, and the MOST FUCKING FUN OF ALL TIME. NO RULES. LITERALLY. I've never ever laughed so hard and met such interesting humans. Two thumbs WAY UP FOR THE GATHERING. I've been trying to go to this for 10 years. I went. I saw. Stay tuned for episode 1, dropping on Black Friday.  THANK YOU TO KATE SIEFKER - this rockstar (and patreon fan!!) helped me edit this episode and you can check out all her work at www.katesiefker.com and on her instagram: @codec.kate  You can always see all the video work that I do at  patron.com/oralfixation Check out all my content on my website www.zoenightingale.com PLEASE RATE MY PODCAST - every star and review helps keep my little Thomas the tank engine running.  LOVE TO YOU ALL - remember - you can't change them - you can only change your reaction TO THEM.   

Well...get ready! You think you had a hard childhood...MEET JAMES. I like James. In fact, I have a crush on James because I so admire this way of living life to the absolute fullest. HE LATER told me that the reason his name is "crazy James" is because he took a entire cow heart covered in blood bit into it and spat it at the popular girls at high school. I MEAN HOW HOT IS THAT. You can spit your heart on my anyway babe. hahaha ANYWAY enjoy. Don't forget to subscribe to my patreon.com/oralfixation for all my video content.  Gathering of the Juggalos IS COMING UP SOON YOU GUYSSSS

Hello Listeners! It is I, here to apologize to you for my extended absence from releasing new content. Trust me, I've been working on it, but I have over 200 hours from the last year and I've struggled to revisit that time period for many reasons but mostly just lack of time. However, I have good news! For reasons I still can't comprehend, one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Nicholas van der Kolk from the sublimely gorgeous audio series Love & Radio, has come aboard to help me. My gratitude to him knows no bounds. If you haven't heard their work, check them out ASAP here. So I should have a whole series coming out shortly, with a master story crafter's help. THANK YOU NICHOLAS!! In the meantime I have been reflecting on how much this podcast has meant to me, and the endless joy and wisdom it's brought to my life. The funny thing is, the very first time I tried to do this, and I was so nervous and unsure of what I would even talk about, magic happened. I was sitting at my little folding table next to the steps of Union Square with my poster board that said "Free Sex Advice," totally terrified, and this woman sat down across from us and the next 10 minutes changed my life forever. Her openness, vulnerability, humor and unpredictable sexual desires created this magic portal between us and I feel in love with her, myself, the world, and the power of improv human connection  Something that people probably don't know is that the only reason I ever made this podcast was because of my fearless editor and co creator of this...Jimmy Vallance. He was the person that gave me the courage to try to do something that I thought was impossible. He was the one who helped me buy the audio gear, showed me how to use it, and helped me edit for the first couple years of this herculean adventure. He changed my life forever, and I will never be able to repay his endless patience with me as I tried to find my voice...but I just want to say thank you and acknowledge him. So this is the very the very first You're Welcome episode, to remind everyone that no matter what your dream is, you can do it. You just have to fucking do it....and most importantly, that every person has incredible vast crevasses of love and strength in their core, all you have to do is look them in the eye and listen to them to see it. LOVE TO YOU ALL. This photo was taken the first time we ever sat down to edit this show. Time FLIES

Still unclear on how this happened, but I was a guest on a Canadian Radio Show called, "Show Gram," with Jim Richards last week and this is the fruits of that labor. I actually don't even know how/why I was asked to be on this show, for the host didn't seem to know anything about my work, but he soon found out, very quickly as I quietly turned the interviewer into the interviewee. Always greatful for a chance to share a bit about what I'm up to and talk about this new chapter in my storytelling career.  And yes, I know. My podcasting game is off, way way off. But I am currently working on finishing my Mexico series, and it's a doozy. So sit tight, I've got a new episode coming soon where I try to save sea turtles from poachers and get to know a wonderful man, who works day and night to save Mexican sea turtles. What a mensch, lemme tell you!  You can check out all my new stuff at patreon.com/oralfixation  Check out the host's website at: www.jew.pizza (ha!)  My new Tik Tok is @oralfixationtv  new insta: @oralfixation.tv  SENDING YOU ALL THE LOVE KIDDOS. 

Hello!  Hi, yes I know. I've been MIA for quite some time, but I have an excuse...I WAS IN MIA for quite some time, recording my very own DIY internet TV show called ORAL FIXATION TV! Why have I done this? Well, while I was in Mexico, I met a very charming if not slightly obnoxious man that was a professional Youtuber, yes, for real, and I realized that I had to suppliment my podcasting adventurers with some full color 5D videos.... So that is what I did! You can see all the full episodes at patreon.com/oralfixation and you can head on over to my youtube channel for short episodes of this crazy content. As for Ford, you can follow him on his youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Z_OJdP_p0 Or his instagram: @fordquarterman  MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL  PS I have like 300 hours of recordings from my time in Mexico, i'm not kidding. Will be posting these every week. Promise.  

Hey guys!  After many many years in the podcasting game, 3 failed TV show pilots, one cancelled Audible Original series and 275 podcast episodes I am finally making my OWN DIY TV Series called ORAL FIXATION!   I'm in South Beach Miami shooting it, and let me tell you, it's some of the weirdest, wildest work I've ever done. This place is like instagram in 5D, sims city matrix pretend world and I've been out in the streets capturing all of it's literal insanity every day and I need YOUR help to fund it!    So go to patreon.com/oralfixation and you'll have access for 5 dollars a month or more to all my upcoming new content!!   @oralfixation.tv on Instagram and Tik Tok, i'll be posting short teasers there for all the full content that will be available on Patreon!   Help me, help my mother, by keeping my cervix off the internet, I've embarrassed her enough already.

Have you heard of psychedelic toad? NO? Where the deviled egg have you been?  Comparable to the likes of ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, and mescaline, this natural medicine comes from a rare species of toad native to the Sonoran Desert, Bufo Alvarius.  They produce a venom known as 5-MeO-DMT: an extremely potent natural psychedelic. 5-MeO-DMT is about six times more powerful than its better-known cousin DMT (dimethyltryptamine). The 5 MeO is extracted by catching these slow fat giant toads and squeezing them like a stress ball until the toad’s toxic venom glands burst like high school pimple and then dehydrating the pus into a crumbly dry paste. You then smoke this in what would usually be referred to as a crack pipe with what looks like a mini blow torch and are then blasted off to the candy store of the universe. Shamans throughout Mexico and the southwestern US have been harvesting and smoking the substance for decades, but has recently become as popular as Tickle Me Elmo in December of 1996.  Individuals that have taken the toad venom described their trips as being one with the universe and feeling “reborn," and a unique connection to god and collective consciousness.  Users experience prismatic colors, euphoria, sacred geometry, and recursive patterns. After inhalation the medicine often leaves users as mobile as roadkill and as responsive to questions as a tween on their iphone. While I was in Oaxaca City, I found a woman who was administering Buffo ceremonies and decided to bring my two besties Dr. Zandra Palma and Jordan Lejuwaan to see just how far this rabbit hole goes. What followed was completely insane and this episode was recorded during the ceremony.  These medicines should not be taken lightly,  taking them requires users to go into it with the intention to heal. It's not a drug, it's a religious experience.  So, without further ado, I present to you Zoe vs. Toad, round 1.   

It makes sense to me that Michael Alig, the notorious Party Monster, King of the Club Kids has passed away on Christmas. When I woke up to this news a million different feelings washed over my body...but mostly it was deep sadness. Addiction is a thing that claims lives every second and something that has blackened many parts of my life. Goodbye MIchael. I will never forget you. This is a re-post of a live show I did with him in 2017.  I met Michael shortly after he was released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster  was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshipers called the "Club Kids." Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. As someone who intimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes. It can only happen with a brilliant, ruthless visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a to start monster, he was a God, for years. Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. He was in solitary confinement for years, and managed to stay on heroin, due to the prison guards slipping him heroin into his sell with his food.  So in 2017, I was able to host a live show at the Marcy North and interview him about his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like. We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares.  Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects. We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees. The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you’re absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself? I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness. Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind: From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened? Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg. Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together. Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done

Happy Holidays everyone!  I would be merry, but I am Hebrew... just kidding..! I long ago got over my anger about being a lonely Jewess on Christmas and have embraced a happier outlook on what always seemed to me to be the most superficial gift based pagan nonsense imaginable...so in that spirit.... I have a holiday treat for you right in time to slide into your Christmas trees DM's. It's a compilation of my favorite, most uncomfortable moments that I recorded (mostly secretly) of my parents.  My parents were both born in 1944, and grew up in very proper, Super Jew families. My mother to me always seemed like a person who got transported directly from a sock hop and never quite fit into modern times. She never said bad words, never talked about sex, never talked about anything remotely off color...and I was born...hmm how do I put this, a red eyed, spikey tailed devil creature...it's taken me a long time to become more like my mother and whats weird is the more I become like her, the more she seems to become like me! Apple vs. Tree...boy, mother daughter relationships are tricky! But my parents weren't as innocent as I imagined, and over the years the let slip that they too had a bit of a sordid past...good thing I was always recording them and was able to catch these moments and preserve them in little amber audio clips...hurray!  So, I have literally 100's of hours of us teaching each other over the years..and yes, I will be making more of them because let's face it, they are the best of me, and they make me laugh so hard I can barely breathe. Wherever you are in the world, I know this is a very bad, no good, terrible time for families...and I send you the biggest hug and the advice my mother always gives me when I'm feeling blue... just put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath, and continue to act with gentle loving kindness to the world around you. This too shall pass.  I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING - I am sorry I am/was so obnoxious, thank you for loving me despite me.  Music - I'm a Lonely Jew on Christmas Instrumental - Matt Stone and Trey Parker   Follow me! @drznightingale www.zoenightingale.com More photos and videos will be posted in my website of me and my family struggling to find reasons to like each other over the years! 

Introducing, Usama Siddiquee! A gloriously raunchy, bright eyed and extremely bushy-tailed comedy superstar - who was born in Canada and raised in a part of Texas that probably could very well have inspired scenes from Deliverance, and raised a Muslim - so you can imagine he has a particular view point on what it takes to make it out alive of middle school and succeed it in this racial utopia we call the United States. I met him when he was doing stand up at a socially distant comedy show at Cooper Park in 30 degree weather, and I thought his particular brand of comedy and crowd control was so impressive I decided to invite him to my home and find out just exactly how far his rabbit hole goes down.  AND DOWN WE WENT. Off like a herd of mentally challenged sea turtles trying to lay their eggs on particularly steep sand dune, we tackled many topics such as rubber gloved, direct eye contact handies in public, not having literally a pot to piss in/crashing in crack homes in the tuchus hole of Brooklyn to save money....barking like a rabid chihuahua for comedy shows, where the payment for your thankless work mirrors Spanish inquisition torture...making your father have slow fat tears run down his cheeks/having your mother throw pots at you, and all the bloody sweat and long nights that come with go after the world's most unforgiving profession.  I adored him, and you will too! Enjoy!  You can follow him at  @Usamastandsup  Check out all his youtube clips of his stint on AGT here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMkiML-uFGU And listen to his podcast, Mango Bae here: https://open.spotify.com/show/57jiIA07ChxbtWz0sjwKi1 As always you can follow me @drznightingale My website: www.zoenightingale.com  Happy Holidays errrrybody!  xoxxoxoxoxo Music: Noah Lampert - check out all his work at www.syncpod.net   

Greeting and salutations my fair weather friends, apologies for my absence, but I needed to take a break from my own brain and reorient my north star. However, I'm back!  This is my first humble offering, coverage of the best day of all time, the day that Joe Biden officially won the presidency, and NYC erupted into actual flames of celebration.  In my life, I have never seen this kind of joy. The moment he won, I swear to you, squeals, shrieks, honks, pots and pans clanging, laughter, screams, sirens all instantaneously rolled through NYC like a thunderous cloud blanketing every ear drum in jubliant glee.  So, I bought 8 mid priced champagnes, put on a red white and blue outfit, painted stars in my face, put on my FUCK TRUMP NO LUBE camouflage trucker hat that I made in times square in 2016, powered up my recorders and hit the streets.  I must have gone to every bourough in the city. I was completely wasted by 12 pm. Like first day of freshman year, keg stand, girls gone wild blatto blasted. So, please expect the timber of my voice to be, how do I put it nicely...like a phone sex operator who smokes newport 100's back to back while verberally jerking off married men from Kansas.  I'm not proud of it, but I yam what I yam, and unfortunetly for you, this is not my best work. What's worse is that I did like 100 more interviews only to realize that my card had been full the whole time. Just sloppy journalism all around. BUT, this was just the most beautiful day.  The dancing, the joy, the tears of relief made the air electric and the day finalized in a burning man like mega rave in McCarren park where we danced until the sun came up. It was magic baby.  Anyway, the goal is not to go to brunch. The goal is to continue to fight for the world we want to live in and cleanse ourselves of the last four years, try to eek out a little dignity and restore our country to some semblance of the dream it is supposed to represent.  Keep fighting, stay vigilant everyone. All eyes on our you Georgia, make us proud. PS: Shout out to my loves Sean and Cass from the Very Ape podcast who are featured on this episode. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. Check out all their awesome work at www.veryape.tv Follow me! @drznightingale = insta  @genuinelyfalse = twitter  www.zoenightingale.com = website  Artwork by @danadrewdles Music: America, Team World Police - Matt Stone/Trey Parker Sync 84 - Noah Lampert - check out his amazing podcast at www.syncpod.com  Check out my sponsor PROMESCENT www.promescent.com  Put my name "Zoe15" into check out and get 15 percent off all your order!! 

Well, just my luck. Depressed and defeated, I took my microphones to Washington Square Park to see how my fellow New Yorkers were coping with the election results. It was a beautiful fall day and New York was A buzz with farmers markets, art, live jazz, poets and artists all converging to lend each other moral support.  People were organizing for an "count all votes," rally that was incredibly peaceful. But in mere moments turned into a blood bath. No where is safe. I am so fucking sad.  Even if Biden wins. HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN THIS CLOSE. OOf. It hurts, it hurts so bad. The worst part is I somehow tricked myself that this time of quarantine was going to do something to the collective fabric to inspire compassion for your fellow countryman. I am so fucking bored of racism and intolerance. Aren't you? AREN'T WE ALL. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.  We'll, here we are. There's literally no where to go but up. Started from the bottom and now we're...where. All I can do is keep trying to spread love and laughter in my wake and continue to support light and love and good in this word and have faith that enough of us are out there fighting the good fight.  This is life or death. This is biblical. This is fucking crazy. Don't lose hope. We just have to take a breather and start all over again. This doesn't end with a Biden win. The senate is still republican, the world is still full of bipartisan vitriol and meanwhile the world is literally burning.  Sending everyone as much love as I have in my bleeding, crumpled heart.  Check out: Oriel Ceballos - @or1el/Linktr.ee/Or1tel Check out the artwork: www.fightdontstarve.com and www.onefairwage.com An article from NYT about the protest violence: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/nyregion/nyc-presidential-election-protests.html Music: Noah Lampert  Check out his podcast at syncpodcast.com My instagram: @drznightingale  My website: www.zoenightingale.com Check out my sponsor www.promescent.com use my name "Zoe15" to get 15 percent off your whole purchase on all kinds of products that can extend your timeline in the bedroom. Lubes, potions, clitoral stimulation gels, condoms they have everything you need!! 

OMGWTF - What the deviled egg is actually happening anymore? I've enlisted the help of a childhood classmate, Ben Sheehan, who is a rockstar political/constitutional expert to help me understand how things got so bad, how we can make them better and what each of us can do to fight for the America we want to live in. He's written a book, OMGWTF Does the Constitution Actually Say? This book is like a cheat sheet for this of us who need a refresher course in how our government works. While this isn't the sexiest episode, it's full of really helpful information about how we got here, and how we can make it better, one vote at a time. This is it guys. WINTER HAS COME. Everyone, everywhere has to be doing everything they can to get their friends, family, coworkers, dog walkers, whatever whoever wherever TO THE POLLS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. If he wins, well...honestly...I don't even want to go there. I believe in the collective good. I believe in light. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. Thank you. Thank you Ben!! Instagram: @thatbensheehen Get his book! www.politics-prose.com/book/9780762498482 Find out all about your elected officials are here! www.ballotpedia.org My instagram: @Drznightingale My website: www.zoenightingale.com Music: Noah Lampert check out his podcast www.syncpodcast.com  

My mom decided to sell our home, and while it may not seem like a big deal to most, I FREAKED OUT. I knew it was bound to happen sometime. When covid hit, my mother was visiting Santa Fe, a place that had always made her heart feel full. The house, that we've spent 20 years in, was sitting, mostly empty, waiting for our triumphant return. My mom has been really careful about Covid, and I've only been able to see her twice in these last 6 months and this for me has been really super duper tough. I need my mother. I need her all the time. I need to hold her hand and wake up next to her and know that she's padding around the house at 6 am in her silk nightgown and Terry cloth robe, reading the paper and drinking decaf. This house of ours, was a new start. After my father was officially out of the picture, we had sold my childhood home and moved into this one together, to start a new chapter. This one was just one for the two of us, my siblings were long gone, and we turned this page together and I proceeded to make so many new fun memories and also sit with some really painful ones. This was our space, our place, and we navigated my teenager years and all the angst that comes with it there, together. I loved this house. I feel like the memories of it will grow softer with time but the feeling of always having a home never will. Thank you mom, for everything. Music: Noah Lampert - Check out all his work at www.syncronicity.com Talking Heads - Burning Down the House My website: www.zoenightingale.com My Instagram:@drznightingale As always thanks to my sponsor www.promescent.com Promescent is a sexual wellness company that helps couples have longer lasting, more enjoyable sex. Promescent offers safe and innovative solutions to the most common sexual problems that so many of us face. Their products include a clinically proven climax control spray for those looking to last longer in bed, a therapeutic supplement to help increase blood flow, erection strength and vitality, stimulating lubricants for vaginal dryness and enhanced pleasure, and premium quality contraceptives. Promescent products are manufactured in the US, shipped discreetly to your door for privacy, and are backed with a 60-day money-back guarantee. For a limited time you can receive 15% off your entire order using my special discount code Zoe15 at checkout. Head over to promescent.com and spice up your sex life today, you won't regret it.

Introducing Natalie Cooper. The founder and principal of Uncommon Schools in Camden NJ. Camden has long suffered from poverty, high incarceration rates, and lack of opportunity for its residents. However, it is a city of tremendous resilience, character and love, and it’s a city working hard to improve the quality of life for its residents. There are many ways in which this city is rising, and one of them is with the help of the Uncommon School Camden Prep. Uncommon schools is a network of 55 charter schools across the east coast. Four of those schools, Camden Prep, are located in Camden, NJ. Camden Prep serves over 800 students in grades K-9, and will grow to serve grades K-12 by 2023. Even though 98% of the student population qualifies for free or reduced price lunch, Camden Prep has proven that circumstances do not determine destiny – in 2015, Camden Prep was ranked the highest performing public or Renaissance school in the city of Camden and has retained that title ever since. During these challenging times, Camden Prep is working to build partnerships to ensure our students achieve continued success on their path to and through college! Natalie is my family, my friend, and a warrior for Justice, and ally to all races and has worked tirelessly to try to help stop inequality at the very earliest stages.  I called her back in April, to see how she and her school was handling Corona Virus and what I heard filled me with pride for her and absolute devastation for the reality of what these kids, and her school were up against.  This is the help that helps. This is the work that changes lives. These are the people that should be making a billion dollars for the work they do, but still struggle to survive financially. Teachers should be the most celebrated profession of all, and they need our support, love and ears.  To learn more about uncommon schools check out: https://uncommonschools.org/about-us/ To learn more about Natalie's School: Link: https://camdenprep.uncommonschools.org/ TO DONATE!!! Donations: https://camdenprep.uncommonschools.org/donate/ Contact: Natalie Cooper; [email protected] REGISTER TO VOTE !!! www.voteproud.org  Check out my website: www.zoenightingale.com Thank you to my sponsor Promescent, the world's leader in all things sexy time. Check out there website www.promescent.com and use discount code "Zoe 15" at check out to get 15 percent off your order!! Music by Noah Lampert check him out at www.synchonicity.org  RATE MY PODCAST!!!!! Apple/Spotify/Soundcloud whatever, just throw some stars in my face. Every review helps. Thank you! 

Introducing Emily Galvin Almanza - a drop dead gorgeous bad ass warrior for truth and justice. She's been fighting against the lies, inequalities and traps that exist inside or "system of justice," for over a decade.  Now, I thought I knew a lot about what it actually takes to be a public defender, the person who is called to represent anyone that cannot afford their own lawyer. But I HAD NO IDEA just how deep and dark the rabbit hole goes.  This Zena Warrior Princess badass super hero has taken what she's learned in years of fighting the blatantly racist carceral system and figured out a way to do the help that actually helps. She founded partners for justice, a all hands on deck wrap around service that caters to people who get ensnarled in the bogus, unfair, predatory legal system and helps make sure that the ramifications for being arrested for being Black on a Tuesday don't destroy peoples entire lives.  I learned SO much from her and I think that beyond defund the police, the thing we really need to be figuring out is how do we repair the limit-less harm that has already happen to someone once the police enter their lives.  The trickle down effect of the over policing of Black neighborhoods further traps people in systems of poverty effects millions of people in the US and has been ripping the very fabric of families and communities across our nation.  So sit back, relax and delve into the wild and beautiful mind of Emily, one of the most impressive humans I've had the pleasure of meeting in quite some time.  Check out all their work here: www.partnersforjustice.com Her twitter: @galvinalmanza  Instagram: @jackhotel7  Information to donate to bail funds Information on how to register to vote: www.voteproud.us Information on how to vote for DAs: Information on the LA Da Race Watch the movie the 13th for more information on Black codes on Netflix. Check out more photos of Emily at work on my website: www.zoenightingale.com FOLLOW ME!  Instragam: @drznightingale  Edited with love and care by: Emily Armstrong  Music: The Way: Noah Lampert (check out his podcast at www.syncronicity.com     

Hello! I am delighted to bring you yet another podcast with the one and only Bassem Youssef, who was at one time the Jon Stewart of the Middle East. A pediatric heart surgeon living in Cairo, he started an underground YouTube show ala the Daily show, poking fun at the Arab world and bringing to light some of the vast injustices that were happening in his country. He got so popular underground that he was offered a real show on a network and at one point had 40 million people tuning into his show. However, making fun of dictators comes with a cost, and Bassem was forced to flee Egypt with his family because of very real death threats and an impending prison sentence. He has moved to California and is launching an entire new project. It's called Plant B. It is his new mission to help people overcome illness through a plant based diet. I'll let him explain to you all the benefits of going green, but suffice it to say, the case for a plant based diet has never made more sense to me. Thank you Bassem, for your continued appearance on my podcast, I am always left smarter by simply being around you. Check out his website: www.plantb.tv His instagram: @bassem Twitter: @byouseff Check out my website www.zoenightingale.com Instagram: @drznightingale Many thanks to my new sponsor Promescent.com the leaders in all things to make sure you last as long as possible and stay wet as an otters pocket. They sent me a bunch of stuff, and it's actually super good. www.promescent.com use "Zoe15" at checkout for 15 percent off your order. Plus they'll like me more and want to sponsor more podcasts so do everyone a favor and order today!! Music: The Way: Noah Lampert  Poolside: Harvest Moon Edited with love care and patience by: EMILY MOTHAFUCKING ARMSTRONG

This is comedian, master yogi, entrepreneur, bitcoin lover, and semi professional dancer Kevin Lance Murray. Kevin has been a friend of mine for quite some time and through our friendship the conversation of race comes up pretty much constantly.  Kevin has had a unique upbringing, born to Jamaican immigrants in the Bronx, he was moved to Westchester, CT a predominantly white city when he was a boy. His parents specifically moved there in hopes that he could be in a White community with an access to "White" education. He has been straddling a difficult reality where he felt like he was never "Black" enough for Black people, and was way to Black for White people.  Kevin has always been an amazing resource to me, for pretty much everything in my life. He fills my life with so much joy and knowledge and I just thought I would check in with him about how he feels about what's going on in the world today. He's also, fucking hilarious. So, sit back and spend a half hour with one of my favorite people on the planet.  Check out his instagram at @kevinlancemurray Check out my website www.zoenightingale.com Check out my instagram at @drznightingale  Music: Barbara Lewis: Hello Stranger               Brighter Days - Dajae Underground Mix 

Meet Krystal Joy Brown. A drop dead gorgeous dynamite powerhouse who before Corona hit was starring in Hamilton on Broadway. During Quarantine, she like many, after being bombarded with horrific consecutive murders and violence against the black community decided enough was enough. She decided to organize her very own rally dedicated to celebrating all Black Lives and specifically our friends in the Black Trans community. She started by researching what her rights to assemble were, and somehow piece-mealed her very own giant BLM/pride parade. Because of Corona, she couldn't get a parade permit, but that didn't stop her. Instead she found police mediators so on the day she could handle whatever problems may come up with the fact she built a full stage and sound system in the middle of Time Square and then led almost a thousand people down 7th Avenue ( in the middle of the street!) with a marching band all the way until we got to Stone Wall Inn. IT WAS MAGIC. Incredibly organized, full of love and color and cheer. There were crafting stations were you could make your own signs, tons of snacks and drinks and tons of Broadway performers doing spoken word poetry, songs and dance that brought me to tears. Everyone was wearing masks and there were people walking through the parade squirting hand sanitzer randomly on you.  You could also get free Conona and HIV tests before we started walking. It was just everything. I was so impressed.  Once we got to the legendary Stonewall, there was another sound system set up and we had a full blown dance and block party with some of the best trained Voguers I've ever seen. Now I'm a good dancer, but they literally were so good, all I could do was watch and fan them. It was a true testament to what one woman can do with a ton of chutzpah and a little bit of elbow grease. WE CAN ALL DO THIS. Don't get complacent. The time is now, donate, rise up, speak your truth, educate yourself and we have a tiny shot and maybe, just maybe, reshaping this world into a place that's more equitable for everyone.  THANK YOU KRYSTAL!! Check out: www.claimmorespacenow.com www.broadwayforracialjustice.com www.thekjb.com @Krystaljoybrown on instagram  Music: Hell You Talmbout ft. Wondaland Artist Collective The Best is Yet to Come - Mr. President  Follow me!  @Drznightingale  www.zoenightingale.com 

Interested in a lesson in white privilege? Oh good. I’ve got just the person to talk to, my friend Shanterra McBride. A badass Texan educator that I’ve known since I was a tween. She's my sister's bestie, and they've worked together for years trying to bring justice and dignity to schools and kids all over the country for decades. I'm starting with someone that I know, well, that can help me have this conversation because even though I am a liberal NYC person who believes that they are consistently doing their best, I know I can do better. Furthermore, embarrassingly,  before talking to her, I actually didn’t really consider myself a white person.  Yes, yes I know, this could sound crazy. But growing up Jewish, I never considered myself in alignment in any way with the blood soaked hands of the original sinners that built this country. If anything I grew up thinking that I was an ally to the Black community. But that doesn't mean that I haven't benefited from white privilege.  My ability to say whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted (especially to people in positions of power) originates from there, and I embarrassingly mostly just attributed that to internal charisma. The fact that I can do and say the kinds of things I have said to the police without fear and walk away unharmed, and without a record, stems directly from there.  So I bring to you a somewhat awkward (on my part) and hopefully informational conversation with someone who's got many messages to share, but a one that is really somehow obvious only after having this conversation is that white people need to stop asking their black friends what to do. You have a supercomputer in your hand at all times, you want to find ways to educate yourself, ask google! You want to protest and find ways to show solidarity? GOOGLE. You want to donate money to causes in the Black Lives Matter space? Once again, google is here to help all white people stop outsourcing the actual work all of us need to do to be better allies to all communities. Oh yeah, and just because you posted on social media does not mean you are doing enough. Protest - Vote - Donate - Educate Yourself  Check out her Marvelous University here: www.marvelousuniversity.com @marvelous_shanterra Twitter: @shanterramcb FB: Marvelous University  Link to cheat sheet on how you can educate yourself:  Anti Racism Cheat Sheet This is the best protest Instagram account out there right now for NYC: @justiceforgeorgenyc If you want resources to fight for justice for Breonna Taylor www.fightofrbreonna.org Music: Hell You Tambout - Janelle Monae f. Wondaland Records 

As a podcaster, in moments like this, you want more than ever to be able to take your microphones to the streets and be able to amplify as many voices as you possibly can and try to help further causes like Black Lives Matter. However, I am deep in Colorado on road trip with my entire family with almost no access to the internet or phone service so for now, I am proceeding with another podcast that was scheduled for this week and will have to wait to join in the protests when I return to NYC this Monday. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to see the systemic racism that has plagued our country since it's inception stopped. I will do it with storytelling, fundraising, protesting, and getting representatives elected who can actually change the laws that have for centuries purposefully tried to suppress, oppress and incarcerate  the African American community.  But for now, I bring you the story of Dakota Gruener, the founder and CEO of ID2020.  A person that I am honored to call a friend and a woman who is doing work that I think is exceptionally important. For the last four years she has been a champion of the voiceless, working tirelessly to provide vaccines, upward mobility and resources to the world's most vulnerable all around the world. Earlier this year, she was targeted by none other than my least favorite person ever, Alex Jones on his garbage show Info Wars. Because of the nonsense he spun, a slew of internet trolls threatened her life and I am very very angry about it.  Normally I wouldn't even want to bring any kind of light to the heartless, disgusting, lie infested work that he does, but this time I felt like I needed to because it's a ripe opportunity to shed light on exactly the kind of poison people like him are spewing into the world. He entangled her in a conspiracy theory so idiotic and insane that I wanted to give her an opportunity to explain that work that she actually does, and in doing so hopefully help continue to bring awareness to her life mission. I love you Dakota. Lastly, fuck you Alex Jones. Fuck Info Wars and fuck all of you soulless internet trolls who hide behind your lies and conspiracies and turn fear into dollar signs, you disgust me.  Stay safe, get out there, pick up your signs, make your voice heard, fight for the future and the present you want to live in.  DON'T FORGET TO VOTE  Register at www.voteproud.us Check out her work at www.ID2020.org  Donate to the George Floyd Gofund me here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd Other Organizations you can support: Support the Block NAACP Legal Defense Fund Black Lives Matter   www.8cantwait.org  Music: Inner City Blues - Marvin Gaye April 26th 1992 - Sublime

Hello hello hello!  I am beyond delighted to bring you my next episode with the Queen of NYC, Susanne Bartsch. I shouldn't need to fill you in on who she is, but to sum her up in one word, it's ICON. If her name is unfamiliar to you, just do a quick google search, and you'll get a faint idea of the kind of lioness you're about to listen to. For more info you can also check out the Netflix documentary about her called ON TOP, that will make you feel like the least fashionable person in the entire world.  This podcast has one purpose only, to promote her next level online parties, which she has put on every Thursday since Typhoon Corona washed up upon our shores and eviscerated our ability congregate together.  Corona has effected all of us differently, but there is one community that has been effected dramatically, the arts. NYC is home to some of the best and brightest underground stars on the planet, and they rely on parties to make their living. They work their asses off, literally, and most of them don't have cushions of support to fall back on when things get tough.  Artists need our help, while they are usually the fiercest people in the room, they are exceptionally vulnerable to a pandemic of this kind and can use all the love and support they can get. She is looking for a sponsor, to provide a small amount of money to pay the artists and Dj's she employs for these events, as well as people from around the world to tune in and join her Zoom revolution.  So, here are the links for all of the next level projects she has put together during Quarantine, not to mention links to the masks and t-shirts she's also produced because she was NOT Netflix and chillin' during Quarantine, she was hustling.  I love you Susanne, thank you for making the world a brighter, sparklier, more wonderful place one party at a time.  LOVE ZOE  PS HER PARTY IS TONIGHT GET ON THAT SHIT. 9 - 11 pm eastern. It's the most fun you'll ever have on Zoom.  Bartschland Strip Down: Https://DragFor.fans/bartschlandstripdown On Top: Https://susannebartsch.eventbrite.com Website: Https://susannebartsch.com Face Masks: Https://susannebartsch.com/face-mask  Instagram: @bartschland @bartschlandstripdown Follow Zoe! @drznightingale website: www.zoenightingale.com Music: Paris is Burning: Lady Hawke               Keep On: D Train 

Introducing - Justin Jedlica - the human Ken Doll.  A plastic surgery aficionado who to date had over 800 procedures on his entire body. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, you name it, Justin has invented a way to modify it. Justin has been featured on countless interviews and TV programs, all which bottle him up into this packaged person, and routinely hyper fixates on his bod mod and rarely deigns to go beyond surface level to explore the bubbling geyser of identity, gender, abuse and sexuality struggles he has faced throughout his life. The more I learn about the pressures facing the LGBTQ+ community, the more I am blown away by the strength it requires to stand up to the prison like standards most cultures put around sexuality and stand proud and tall and say listen, this is who the fuck I am, deal with it.  He is fascinating, and an incredible storyteller, and I am so thankful to him that he allowed me to meet the tiniest doll inside of him.   Follow him @justinjedlica his website: www.justinjedica.com Follow me! @drznightingale My website: zoenightingale.com Music: Something About You: Hayden James             Bourgie, Bourgie - John David & Monster Orchestra  Edited by Emily B. Armstrong 

Todo,  I am definitely not in New York anymore.  I AM IN LA...and LA is a WILD. I've been here for two months now, and I still feel like Mork, but without a Mindy. It's this bizzaro combination of lush nature contrasted with super ugly highways and strip malls, poverty, new money, old money, itty bitty dogs, over caffeinated mountain bikers, hot yoga moms who don't vaccinate their babies but believe in the healing power of crystals, dumb as actual rocks super babes, brilliant artists, lovely hippies, sick street art, incredible tacos, looming mountain ranges, waterfalls, homelessness and dashed dreams - OH and by the way, EVERY SINGLE DAY IS THE SAME WEATHER. I can't explain how weird that is to me. Same temp, same sun, same same same all day every day. All of this I could handle, but my next two podcasts, cemented for me that I am in fact in a 4th dimension.  Now, I originally was just going to interview Justin Jedlica, who was baptized, "The Human Ken Doll," by none other than Babs Walters herself. Why may you ask! Well, it's because Justin is the king of Body Modification. Justin, has had 800 different procedures to augment and perfect his body. Justin is fascinating, incredibly charismatic, and was truly a joy to be around.  After I was done with our interview, he introduced me to Tyler, his room mate, who at 22, was recovering from a bicep implantation. Yes, you read that correctly.  I am fascinated by this entire subculture because I grew up in Washington D.C, a town famous for troll looking people who funnel all the time attractive people use to do things like fuck other hot people or go for convertible rides into accumulating massive amounts of education, and power, so they can eventually fuck hot people and go on convertible rides.  The most amount of plastic surgery I ever saw as a kid was when a couple girls in my school got the Heeb cut right on out of their nose, returning with a snozz you could ski off of and everyone, and I mean everyone, would gossip about it. Plastic surgery was not cool. Cool was getting a good country in Model U.N.  Now, I am not one to judge. Everyone gets to do whatever they want to their body. Your body, your choice. Period. But I must say that the next two episodes really confused me.  Anyway, if you want to know more about Justin & Tyler.... Tyler: @tylerkd97 Justin: @JustinJedlica  Website: www.justinjedlica.com As always sending you my love, and virtual hugs wherever you may be in this big beautiful planet of ours.  Take care of yourself, spread joy and light. No one needs more darkness right now. If you need help.  I MADE MY FIRST SPOTIFY PLAYLIST!!! Check out all the songs I used to dance too when I was a Rave baby many, many, moons ago. https://bit.ly/letsravelikeits2012 Music from episode:  Twilight Zone Theme Song  Coma Cat: Tensnake   Instagram: drznightingale Website: www.zoenightingale.com

Greeting and salutations you gorgeous homebodies.  Can you believe it's May! What the actual fuck. When has time ever been so elastic yet so rigid? I got lost in the woods for a couple weeks with zero internet access and way to many lizards to look at and once again dropped the ball on my storytelling duties but like the great backstreet boys before me I am BACK! So next up we have the fearless leader of the Skirt Club - Genevieve LeJeune. This is not Ms LeJune's first time gracing my podcast, and I'm delighted to be able to catch up with her and share with you what one does when their companies bread and butter comes from  bi curious female only sex parties.  Yes, skirt club is a genius society where women who have always wanted to dip their toes into the warm folds of multiple labias can go to put on 400 dollar lace under pants, sip pink champagne, nibble raspberries and then get laid down gently on 4000 thread count satin sheets and get face fucked by women of all shapes and sizes!  Doesn't that just sound like the best! But wait, there's more! They have fabulous articles, interviews and classes you can take to connect to your inner and outer Yoni power and meet other like minded sexually free lady lionesses.  So, enjoy this next episode, which hits many very serious and important topics such as, sex toys, mental health, clit types, porn, love and marriage.  Thank you SKIRT CLUB!!! Check out the other episodes I did about my time trying to participate an all female gang bang right here!  https://soundcloud.com/zoe-nightingale/sets/i-kissed-a-girl-and-i-liked-it Check out all their virtual offerings here!  https://skirtclub.co.uk/home Check out my website www.zoenightingale.com My instagram: @drznightingale Music: I think we're alone now - Tiffany               Deeper and Deeper - Madonna CHECK OUT THE SATIFYER - BEST SEX TOY EVA = https://us.satisfyer.com/us/ Photo courtesy of: Skirt Club photographer: Victoria Dawe

HELLO WORLD!  It is I, Zoe Nightingale and I am BACK.  I know I know, it's been a minute, and for that I am deeply sorry. I got swallowed into a work worm hole without and exit but thankfully Corona in her all knowing glory, eviscerated my business and left her to die a slow prolonged death on the side of the highway! The silver-lining of that of course, is that it gave me the time to get back into my first love, podcasting.  Granted, it took me a while to grieve the loss of my previous life and settle into my new one. Turns out it's not easy to podcast when all you want to do is crawl into a ball and evaporate, but after a lot of green juice, ocean air and hardcore journaling, I AM BACK!  I am am here to provide you with the same kind of hard hitting investigative journalism that I have always have...but with a twist! Almost all of my new podcasts will be done over the phone... but never fear, we will be virtually tackling all your favorite topics such as: SEX DRUGS GLITTER DRAG QUEENS FAILURE SUCCESS DEPRESSION MEANING OF LIFE ORGASMS PARTNERSHIP MONOGAMY PARENTING POLITICS MUSIC FURRY ANIMALS TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS HOMELESSNESS WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW SHIT FUCK TOURETTES etc... With some of the worlds most interesting humans.  First up, the one and only Vikram Gandhi who I met in 2008 when a boy I had a gigantic crush on called me and asked if I could host his friend Vikram for the Obama inauguration in Washington D.C. Host him I did,  we proceeded to have one of the best weekends of my life. The African American community of DC turned the city to and an 11 and I have never seen happiness and hope for the future on such a wide scale. Remember when we elected Obama? REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP WAS NOT OUT PRESIDENT!!? It all seems like a quaint dream now... Since then I've watched him crush life in almost every aspect. A celebrated documentary film maker, feature film director, producer, and one of Vice's best journalists whose been traveling to every corner of the globe for a decade bringing us stories that never would have seen the light of day if not for his cameras. Thank you Vikram! You are an inspiration and a delight to be friends with. Check out my favorite thing he ever did, his movie Kumare: https://kumaremovie.com/  So enjoy my first podcast, I will be posting more very soon and I hope my voice can keep you company and remind you that at some point, you will have sex again. I promise. I have no idea who with, I could be a vegetable, but it will happen.  All joking aside, wherever you are in the world, I send you so much virtual love. This is the single best and worst time to be a human. I'll be posting some comedy writing on activities you can do during quarantine to keep your collective chins up shortly and don't forget if you need me, I'm here! You can find me  @drznightingale on the insta  [email protected] if you want to email me OR my website  www.zoenightingale.com 

So in between dealing with the ABSOLUTE SHIT SHOW THAT IS ORGANZING A FUCKING CAMP FOR MY FUCKING ASSHOLE VIRGIN DICK HEAD FRIENDS - I put all my episodes I've ever done in 8 years of burning man together for you to download and listen to on the murderous drive in - it's not going to be flawless, I thew this thing together with medium service while running around trying deal with MURPHEYS LAW which is SO FUCKING HARDCORE HERE I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN.  I LOVE YOU BURNING MAN. I LOVE YOU MOM. I LOVE YOU LARRY. FUCK YOUR BURN.    zoenightingale.com/burningman tinyurl.com/Burning-Man-Guide Music by: Noah Lampert - "The Way" and "Pure Land- Rhapsody" www.syncpodcast.com/ Edited by: Emily Armstrong ebrodtman.wixsite.com/emilylaurenedits

This is the happiest day of my life.  Hands down. ZeroSpace, my Alien Adult Playground opens tonight.  I am turning 35, today, which in my mind was always a scary age because it was the age of Miranda when Sex and the City started and she seemed like a female crypt keeper to me with her lawyer job and awkward accessories and pleated pants and real old lady ovary problems.  But, it turns out, thirty fucking five is amazing.  Because it took me this long to actually come into my body completely. To let go of the literal weight my choices had piled on top of my broken shoulder bones.  No matter what else happens in my life, today, I got to hold my mothers hand and show her that I'm going to be ok. That all the lessons she's been teaching me in her way have finally come home to roost. Today, I finally have earned my name.  Today I finally feel like I deserve her love.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  Music: Sia, Elastic Heart Remix by Noah Lampert           Cruel Intentions remix - Simian Mobile Disco   Rate and Review (🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟) "You're Welcome" on Apple Podcasts   

So, I never do this. I don't usually go on other peoples podcasts, but when my new podcast advisor tells me to do something I do it. So he connected me to Sean and Cass from the Very Ape Podcast, two psychonauts who are also on the Mind Pod network I am in, I scheduled a meeting with them the very next day.  Full warning, this podcast, was a huge departure for me in many ways, mostly, because I have never done a joint interview in this way, but predominantly because I talked about many, many personal things that I usually keep in a tiny pandoras box inside my tummy. The next morning I experienced a "vulnerability hangover" so intense that I just wanted to crawl into a ball and expire.  So...I have nothing but intense love for these two. Sean and Cass are documentary film makers (all of their films are available for free HERE where they tackle such topics as Oxycotin, addiction, fandom, Americana, Jugaloo's  thrupples (a working relationship involving three loving equally loving partners) Trump, cam girls, all the good stuff. So I arrived to their gorgeous Greenpoint apt super late on a Monday night after 12 hours of incredibly confusing work, and a brain that literally had been reduced to Bisquick batter and we sat in their living room surrounded by candles and talked for literally hours. I didn't know anything about them and to say that our worlds line up and our values are in complete balance is a wicked understatement. More to come from our new friendship thrupple. Maybe, just maybe, they can teach me how to not ruin scissoring. Fingers crossed!  THANK YOU SEAN AND CASS  Music: Noah Lampert: Wicked Games (remix)  Live Makosa Mungongo Bwiti check out his podcast HERE. He rocks. Check out all my work on my new and IMPROVED website...www.zoenightingale.com  Donate to my new microphone fund here: Take my fan survey HERE  RATE MY PODCAST ON ITUNES PLEAAAAASE It's almost my birthday....FUCK 

People who live amongst NYC streets are my favorite people to interview. No filter, nothing to hide, full of stories of survival, and often incredibly funny and charming. I have been trying, for years, to find a way to use my podcast for actual good and have been searching for a platform to take the work I want to do with the homeless community, and I had found one, in the Bowery Mission. I had created a show, that I was going to personally fund, that was going to try to find five NYC homeless and get them the counseling and training they need to qualify for NYC free housing. Could I actually use the tools that are available in one of the richest cities in the world to affect someones life in a real way forever.  But alas, my past caught up with me and despite telling them from the very beginning that I was a person with a colorful internet search history who had a penchant for felons, drug addicts, sex workers and niche communities...they decided after many moons of work together that who I was overshadowed the benefit I was trying to provide and they literally cut my legs out from under me in what was to this day one of the oddest and coldest reversals of favor I've experienced. I will always wonder what was the thing that they found that was so shocking that they could no longer let me try to raise money for them and their cause but whatever, I moved on.  So, I'm going to do this on my own. Fuck it. If anyone can think of a great sponsor to help me on this quest, please email me at [email protected]. Either way, this is the first person I'm starting with, Lucky. A beautiful man, who is dripping in charisma and style, and who is looking for a second chance at life. In his mid 20's with a wrist full of bracelets and a mouth full of smiles.  Tune in to see how my quest to get Lucky back on his feet goes.  Music: "synctro 141" and "Capricorn Moon" by Noah Lampert  Check out his amazing podcast: Synchronicity He has been helping me get my sad podcast ass into gear, wish him luck!  Check out my website:www.zoenightingale.com RATE MY PODCAST PLEASE (🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟) DONATE If you feel like helping to my new quest to buy Sennheiser microphones which will HUGELY help me with sound quality. Every dollar helps.  Take mySURVEY @drznightingale: Follow me on social www.zerospace.co My new alien light museum sign up and maybe I can invite you to our beta testing runs! 

 The game of Life. If only it came with instructions that made any sense. Sometimes you meet people so good at navigating the twists and turns their little plastic car must make that it leaves you speechless. This man was one of them. A literal walking miracle. He survived something that would have killed almost anyone else, and he did it with style. This was my last interview from Detroit, and is happened literally on the way to the airport with an anonymous man that made my heart swell to twice it's size and all my problems seem like a grain of sand being washed up against the shore. Wishing you all the luck in the world -  To me, you are a superhero. To me you are the best dad in the universe. So this ends our brief time in Detroit, next up were going back into the lions den of Ketamine and depression with Dr. Will Siu. Get excited! You can now get K at a compound pharmacy NEAR YOU! New episode Every Friday, be here AND be queer.  Edited by Emily Stretch Armstrong whose patience and support keeps me sane in an insane world. Music: Broken Wings: Mr. Mr.  The Verve - Lucky Man (this is the song our hero healed with)  whttps://zoenightingale.com/survey- TAKE MY SURVEY I want to buy new Sennheisers microphones which will infinitely increase my audio clarity BUT THEY ARE A FORTUNE: Donate here if you feel like contributing to this worthy cause  https://zoenightingale.com/donate    

Introducing Sierra!  I was at Motor City Wine Bar, dancing with an umbrella that had a giant middle finger on it, basically alone to the literal sickest tunes. However, there was one other person on the floor, a women whose skin was the color of milk dropped into espresso. In a slick silk flight suit, dancing harder than me. We circled each other on the dance floor like lions circling their prey. It wasn't long before I introduced myself and informed her that I was going to have to escort her outside and talk to her about her life, and talk we did. Almost any time I did this in Detroit, I was blown away but the infinite icebergs that lived inside my dance companion.  I love you Detroit. Don't forget to Follow me!  @drznightingale instagram @genuinelyfalse twitter www.zoenightingale.com website  I HAVE A NEW SURVEY TAKES TWO MINUTES https://zoenightingale.com/survey Music: Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust  Edited by the AMAZING Emily B. Armstrong www.emilybrodtman.com  

I can't even begin to explain the whirlwind of dancing I was in when I met Simone. I casually was trying to explain and show to a bunch of women why I've always had a hard time twerking. These women thought this was hilarious. I just can't do it. One of these women was covered in star tattoo's, and had this huge gorgeous smile and a boatload of banter and I thought, yep this is a woman who probably needs to step into a dark ally way with me sit on a pile of hazardous construction materials and chat with me about her life. And chat we did! I learned a lot from Simone, and what's interesting is she helped me understand some things about how you can live with dual sets of beliefs running concurrently inside your mind without them crashing up into one another. It's something I've been thinking about a lot as the upcoming elections loom closer and I try to figure out how is it that so many people can be so warm and loving and kind and still harbor these icebergs beneath the surface that need to be thawed out. So how DO we help people melt these icicles...? Now that is the question. See you soon Simone. Music: You Don't Know Me: Armand Van Helden            I'm Coming Out: Diana Ross  Go to www.zerospace.co and check out what I've been working on this last year Go to www.zoenightingale.com and fill out my customer survey so I can better connect with you! Follow me @drznightingale www.zoenightingale.com 

Introducing JT and Javonntte - two men I met inside of Motor City Wine Bar during DEMF music festival. Both little rays of happiness and sunshine, both there to celebrate the music that is the fabric that holds Detroit together.  I can't say enough about how much fun Detroit it. For a girl who knows her dance parties, this one is just the ultimate. There's no bullshit, it's accessible and affordable, it's full of people there to dance not to be seen. All ages, all colors, all religions, everyone there just to lose themselves in the moment of release.  Thank you Detroit, thank you JT, thank you Javonnette for welcoming me with open arms and sharing your infinite love with me.  I have a new survey on my website www.zoenightingale.com please take it and help me connect with you better! Find Javonntte! Instagram @javonntte  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/2qBuzbYgrjGhnf79c60kxi   Follow me:  Instagram: @drznightingale Twitter: @genuinelyfalse email: [email protected] 

Detroit, the Motor City. Once one of the most prosperous destinations for the American Dream, now a city in full recovery from devastating economic hardship. Established as a fur trading outpost by the French in the 1700’s, Detroit became a thriving metropolis where immigrants from all over the world could come to pursue a life free of persecution. The birthplace of Motown, and Techno and the manufacturing epicenter for Ford, GM and Chrysler, this was always a city that was full of life, prosperity and innovation.  But this is a place that has faced bankruptcy, drug infestation, violence and crime so overpowering that a large portion of it’s inhabitants abandoned their homes in search of calmer waters leaving a city with a stale economy, depressed housing prices and little chances of upward mobility through employment. But that’s changing, and little by little, Detroit is rising up from the Ashes it was reduced too. Almost everyone I met were some of the most open, hard working, musical, fascinating hustlers you could ever imagine. I love it. I want nothing more than for it to be returned to it's former glory and be celebrated for the creative utopia it truly is.  So I went to Detroit over Memorial Day Weekend for DEMF (Detroit Electronic Music Festival) that was started in 2000 that has seen millions of people flock to it’s dance floors in search of the kind of music that makes your whole body release it’s anger and embrace it’s more natural loving state. In between dancing so hard I literally wore out the soles of my shoes, I pulled people off the decks and out of the dance floors to talk with me about who they were and what this city meant to them. How music has shaped them, and in some cases saved their lives. You’ll be hearing a little bit about the history of Techno, and House music, as well as hearing about what is happening in real time to rebuild this historic city. This is Piranha Head, a Composer, trained musician and producer who grew up with Moody Man (referred to as "Kenny" in this episode, another one of the D's best exports) I literally pulled him off the decks and brought him outside of Moody Mans BBQ on Sunday Night (cost 5 dollars at the door with a donation based bar!! CAN YOU BEAT THAT NO YOU CANNOT IT WAS THE BEST).  We'll be hearing more from this wondrous human in the future, I only could keep him off the decks for 20 minutes, but damn was he able to make good use of our time together.  I love you Detroit. Thank you for an incredible weekend that made me re fall in love with the dance floor.  Music for this episode Poem for a Lost One - Piranha Head   Lyrics By, Vocals - Diviniti Mastered By - MJR* FIND HIM! @pirahnahead on instagram  www. Pirahnahead.com  Maurice•”Pirahna head”•Herd   (Engineer/producer | string arranger | musician) [email protected] (engineer) [email protected] (string arrangements) [email protected] All social media: @pirahnahead my website: www.zoenightingale.com Please take my new 5 minute survey on my improved website!! @drznightingale @genuinelyfalse (twitter)   

Ladies and gentleman, introducing BIG VOICE MAN. I love him. I love him so much. The first time I saw him sing he crushed my heart into a little pieces. He lights up the room when he smiles and has a kind of natural charisma and charm that you just can’t learn. He loves Aerosmith, he loves love songs, he loves the cranberries, he does a mean cover of Radio heads creep, and apparently can make the best chicken wings in Hong Kong. No matter what challenges he has faced throughout his life he has found a way to smile right through it.  There is nothing that impresses me more than people who have so much human spirit, that it literally is like a flashlight, shedding light in the darkest caves where it goes.      

China is insane. Hong Kong is literally like being inside of Tron. I have never in my life seen so much wealth, or been so unhappy with the cost of literally everything. It’s an amazing city, but its very difficult to live there. Some of the highest rents on the planet for the tiniest apartments, 29 dollars for a salad, you need to be a member of the Saudi Royal Family to buy gas, laundry detergent costs about one once of gold. However, it is a little fantastic shining metropolis inside of the big belly of the beast that is the People’s Republic of China.  Millions and of people are everywhere. Everyone is in designer clothes, everyone has pockets full of cash and suitcases they are stuffing to the literal brim with medicine, diapers, baby formula, potions, lotions and gems. It's nuts. The whole place is a giant shopping mall. It's very odd, and made me very uncomfortable.  Now, real China makes me nervous. For someone who has a large and increasingly loud mouth, this is a nightmare place to be. There are cameras everywhere, the Government is tracking you constantly and you can almost feel them creeping into this tiny little European enclave. Whenever I left Hong Kong and went into "real" China, I was almost certain I would be arrested just for being me. When Britain gave back Hong Kong to China in 1997, it signed an agreement saying that the freedoms it had enjoyed as a Colony would stay in place for 50 years, but little by little, China is violating these agreements and stripping people away of their rights little by little.  One night, after drinking far to many glasses of wine I called an uber to take me home and my driver was so fabulously witty, so elegant and had such good dirty jokes that I decided I needed to sit down with him and ask him question after question about what was life for someone growing up in this magical place and the real dangers that are facing Hong Kongs future as the rules and regulations of the Mainland close in. Edited with compassion and love by Emily Armstrong  Follow me!  Instagram @drznightingale Twitter @genuinelyfalse Website: www.zoenightingale.com   Review my podcast on ITUNES PLEASE (only if you love it) 

LIVE SHOW IS APRIL 28th! On it you will find Dr. Will Siu, who I've been spending some time with learning the ins and outs of the breakthroughs that are happening in the world of mental health. You will be able to hear him, in all his glory live on my Instagram TV channel, and I will be uploading the Live Show here on Monday. Get ready, he's amazing. Were talking big Pharma, depression, how ketamine works and how it's helping cure addiction. SO! Come find me in union Square in the Abracadabra Bus, a giant big blue burning man bus with a huge platform on top where I will be amplifying our conversation for the world to hear, hope they live it! So this was actually a 2 hour interview, that's Ive cut down to it's bare bones to give you a taste of what kind of hard hitting investigative journalism I will be doing with him Live. Enjoy! Music: Benoit and Sergio - Walk and Talk Edited by Emily B. Armstrong follow me! Instagram: @drznightingale website: www.zoenightingale.com Review my podcast on ITUNES PLEASE Find WILL! and connect to fabulous resources for ketamine knowledge here: Instagram @will.siu.md www.kriyainstitute.com www.maps.com www.erowild.com ALSO I am recently helping the Modern Love Club - a boutique high end match making service run by two very sexy fabulous ladies and I am helping them find wonderful emotionally mature and open people who are seeking partnership. IF THIS IS YOU please email me [email protected]

When I first got to Hong Kong, the first thing I noticed were thousands of non Chinese women, sitting on cardboard, laughing, drinking, eating, gossiping, having a grand old time. This, looked very very odd. In the middle of a bank metropolis, surrounded by the largest shiniest buildings imaginable, were literally 100,000 women camped out and no one was acting like it was odd. To me, it looked very very odd. First of all, it was all women, and while they seemed happy, it made me feel really confused. I desperately needed to understand what was happening here. So I started asking around and was told since it was a National holiday, all of the domestic helpers were out celebrating. There are 385,000 domestic workers currently in Hong Kong. They make up the literal back bone of society, and also are making up large amounts of the GDP in both Indonesia and the Philippines with the money they are sending back home. All good right? Well, alot of them are not being treated kindly, many of them are being abused, overworked and underpaid. While the rules and regulations are finally starting to protect them, there is still a huge amount of work to be done to protect these women's safety. So I was able to meet with Jane Engelmann who started the Unsung Heroes HK Choir and try to figure out why she did this and learn a little more about the fabulous women who make up her choir. Thank you Jane, and all the women who sat with me. I'm still working on making your dream of going to see the Ellen Show happen. If anyone has connections to Ellen, please let us know! You can learn more about them on their website here: https://www.unsungheroeshk.com/support and email Jane if you want to help her cause [email protected]

I met the Shaktivator in Ubud Bali, which seems to be the Mecca for lost souls seeking spiritual guidance and radical change. I had been shown his website by one of my friends, and I instantly wanted to meet this complex creature. Now, I like pretty much all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, niches, the weirder the better. But I have had very very bad experiences with men who follow similar mantras about how to procure pussy, so in my quest through Bali to identify what practices were bullshit and which were actually helpful to the development of your soul, I set out to meet him. Often in life, we come to quick snap judgements, and I very wrongly walked into this interview thinking I was going to meet an entirely other person. Who I met, was Dennis AKA the Shaktivator. A man who has some very interesting ideas about how men can better connect to women and harness their own sexual energy for good. So, get ready, for the wisdom of the Shaktivator. Edited with endless care and thoughtfulness by Emily B Armstrong Follow him! www.theshaktivator.com Follow me! www.zoenightingale.com Music: Kundalini Mantra - Adi Shakti sol Ama Namaskar Dreams remix: Psyche Magik Follow them! https://soundcloud.com/psychemagik Would you be so kind as to review my podcast on Apple? Would you care to participate in a survey to help me make this podcast better! Shoot me and email: [email protected]

I met Skylove Solei at a private sound healing that featured water beds with the instruments hooked up to giant bass speakers that were UNDER the water beds so the vibrations literally blew open your third eye and blasted you into outer space. Sound crazy? IT WAS. It was at the Pyramids of Chi in Bali, a sacred hippie dippie next level yoga compound where people of all walks of life (as long as they are wealthy) come to harness their root chakras. Sometimes, when I write words like this, I feel like I've been abducted by yoga aliens and they are in fact now typing for me. He was all angles, all muscle, lean and mean and only dresses in the kind of fancy drapey white Tulumenti robes that is usually reserved for people who like to drink Kool Aid in group settings. He seemed to glide about the room. I could never hear his footsteps. He had a heart wrenching singing voice, and could play literally every instrument I've every seen at once time. He was cool as a cucumber, and I wanted to know everything about him. So I met him again, this time for a group sound healing where women were moaning so loudly I thought either I was going bananas or someone's pineal glad was located inside of there clitoris. Hard to know either way. So we sat, inside this pyramid, surrounded by candles and giant instruments and he showed me how to play them and how he had to come to cross my path in Bali. I'll say this about Bali, no matter who you are, it's hard not to fall victim it's palpable spirituality, and eternal search of self....so much so that it's easy to become obsessed with a singular pursuit of a higher consciousness. I do not come from a world that believes in any of this, but I too, have drank the Kool Aid and I'm all about, this crystal bowl life now. But I'll say this, there is so much love in this community, and in the pursuit of their highest self, I have found the people that I would have completely written off before as looney tunes, to welcome me with open arms, listen to my skepticism and offer me their life stories simply as a testament to what can happen when you stop believing that god is out to get you and only you, and start to believe that the collective consciousness is on your side. Also included a bonus snippet I couldn't fit into our longer conversation at the very very end...I just couldn't help myself. THANK YOU SKYLOVE. You can check out all of his art at https://skyloveart.com Check out Pyramids of Chi here! https://pyramidsofchi.com I AM LOOKING FOR SUPERFANS. Please email me at [email protected] if you want to participate in a one on one survey about how I can be a better podcast creator THANK YOU!! If you want something close to this in NYC go to Woom Center https://www.woomcenter.com Music: Love Light: Soul Clap Edited with kindness and charisma my Emily B. Armstrong You can find me here! www.zoenightingale.com

I met Amma, when I had gone to a Christian Faith Healers Baptizing ceremony in Bali at a place called the Blue Lagoon. Yes, I know, talk about a Jew outta water. I had come there because I had befriended a man named Rasmus, a German Entheogen (hallucinogenic) expert, who had recently turned to Jesus and had found the ultimate transcendent experience in his words. He invited me to a prayer circle, and of course, I hopped on the back of a Gojek (the Uber of Bali) and a man wearing 15 silver rings and a Van Halen t shirt sped me through the rice fields to a place so off the beaten track, I thought I had been tricked into a Taken situation, but I waded through the high grass, and found this little oasis where people from all over the world had come to talk about their devotion to Christ. We will hear from more of these faith healers soon, but for now all you need to know is Rasmus decided I needed to be "healed" (I mean duh, what was your first clue) and people sat in a circle around me and put their warm soft hands all over my body, and asked Jesus to heal me with his love. I was about as comfortable with this as Larry David would be. But during this movie like moment, there was a woman, who was radiating light and love in such a powerful way I only could really see her. Her name was Amma, and she was wearing this beautifully confusing collection of fancy beige pieces of fabric that somehow came together as a dress. I asked her if she would talk to me, after my "healing," and we went to a corner of this bizarre room full of people swaying and chanting Jesus's name, and with a black cat on my lap (this was a magical cat, i almost took him back to the US with me) I sat and was completely absorbed by her. We talked for over two hours, but a lot of it was too personal for me to share (I know, can you believe it!!) But here is, a much reduced version, of the moment I met a woman who would heal many broken parts of me. She even made childbirth sound cool!!! She's very magical. She makes these beautiful sacred clothes so you can see the sort of goddess she radiates. Check them out @ayasacredwear For the first time, I felt like I met a spiritual healer and practicer that wasn't full of shit. I LOVED HER. Ama, I wish you so much luck in your journey of love, I am so glad there are people like you on this planet. connect with me!! zoenightingale.com @drznightingale Edited with love and patience by Emily B Armstrong Music: Thievery Corporation: Satyam Shivam Gamelan Semar Pegulingan (Gamelan of the Love God)

Acid, mushrooms, DMT, MDA, 5 MAO, Changa, Iboga, Ayahuasca all of these things can help people knock down the walls that our parents build around our consciousness from the moment we exit the womb. All of them, when used wisely, can lead to profound changes in how we perceive everything around us and can often help open our hearts and expand our thinking. HOWEVER, what kind of changes, have a lot to do with your intention, and if your intention is to get fucked and dance, (no judgement, did it for years) you'll miss most of the precious information that they can provide. So, I wanted to share with you some perspectives on how you can use these tools more wisely, so you can not only have the best time ever, but can harness the true gifts they are here to provide. So, our Journey with Ayahuasca continues. We'll meet a man I met when he sat down next to me at a dinner party in Bali. He had a super fucked, bandaged up hand, and had recently come back from an emergency trip to Singapore for surgery, after a scooter accident. We bonded over our collective lack of scooter skills, and he made me laugh so much that I decided that there must be more hidden stories inside of him so I met him at a local vegetarian restaurant (duh) and amongst the many sounds of Bali, (enginee, horny monkeys and poorly timed roosters) we sat, and talked. What I didn't know, was that he was studying to be a Curandero. He had just landed in Bali after a 3 year deep dive into the Amazon to learn about their plants and now even speaks the local languages (which is REALLY hard, I've tried to learn)! So, off we go into his brain to find out more about what he has learned from the sacred vine, we talked about so so many more things, but for the sake of people's destroyed attention spans, I narrowed our focus to a mini education podcast on Ayahuasca. Again, usually when you take plant medicine, you will be OK...eventually. I was told by my Iboga provider that I was going to get out of it what I needed, not what I wanted, which is think is about the best advice you can take going into these 4/5/6 dimensions. Whatever you decide, set your intention, do your homework, and strap in baby cuz the ride is going to be better and worse than you could have ever imagined. In addition to working with plant medicine, I personally have become obsessed with self improvement on every level, (I have great bones, but my foundation had some carniverous termites in it,) and am taking a giant looking glass to every aspect of my life that needed work. Trust me, THERE'S ALOT. Because of this, I am on the 5th day of a liver detox, and let me tell you, I am feeling super weird but really good. Turns out that most of us modern human are living with TONS of toxins inside of us, and resetting your gut micro biome seems to be the best way to get rid of the last residues of your toxic past. Message me if you have questions, this shit is life changing. Wherever you are I wish you warmth, sunshine, and the power to be happy with what you have at this moment. LOVE Z to the OE Edited by the one and only Emily Stretch Armstrong Music: The Buchanans - Medicine Man Breathe - Telepopmusik (instrumental) Connect with me! I love hearing from you. Instagram @drznightingale twitter @genuinleyfalse website: www.zoenightingale.com

We continue following our beautiful Heroine down the rabbit hole as the effects from here Ayahuasca journey continue to manifest in ways she never imagined. Again, I believe that people are abusing this sacred vine, and that westerners who are searching for truth are not doing the actual work it requires to fully process this ancient and transformative medicine and people all around me are having severe reactions to this lack of preparation for meeting the Devine Mother Spirit. I am all for people responsibly using any kind of catalyst to open their mind and alter their perceptions of the narrow viewpoints we've been given as children but this is not the way for most. Next week we will hear from a medicine man about his thousands of journeys with Ayahuasca and the restorative, transformative nature of this powerful brew. STAY WARM. I am fucking freezing. :( Edited with love and care by Emily Armstrong Music

So...plant medicine. It's something that I hold with utmost respect and complete reverence and it's something that's being exploited at a rate that makes my head spin. I first encountered it when I was traveling throughout South America when I was 18 (in 2004!!) I was living in Tena, a small rainforest preserve in a tiny straw hut and our guide, named Gato, who had yellowish eyes and was a tree frog expert asked my friends if we wanted to participate in a religious ceremony. He mostly spoke a language called Quecha, and some Spanish, so the translation left a little to the imagination but two of my friends, knowing nothing, went and did it. When they came back, they told me about Ayahuasca, about drinking a mud like sludge that tasted like a mixture of rotten flesh and fermented manure, and the subsequent 24 hours filled my mind with total wonder and confusion. My friend Ben, who was a light filled happy go lucky kid from Maine who always had a small guitar and a rainbow tacky sack and a smile, was never the same. He saw things, that literally rained on his entire souls parade. For months we traveled together and he was a shell of himself. He never talked about it again...I didn't hear again about plant medicine for many many years, but it's been creeping up slowly in my community like a invasive vine. All of a sudden there's "shamans" in Bushwick giving " ceremonies in their backyards and I want to use whatever small platform I have to give people a real warning. THIS IS NOT A FUN EXPERIENCE. Plant medicine will change everything you think you know about yourself and your world. THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. They should be revered, respected and cherished. The knowledge they can bring is literally otherworldly. It is not for people who want to get high. I will be bringing you two stories. Each is beautiful, each is valid, each has a lot of information for people who are searching and looking to walk down a medicine path. Buckle up kids, it's gonna get ugly. Edited with love by Emily Armstrong. Music: Icaro chanting songs Connect with me! www.zoenightingale.com @drznightingale @genuintlyfalse

There are moments in life where you realize, that the universe is on your side. Meeting Alain Robert, the French Spiderman, was so improbable that it must have been woven by the goddess of fate. He had just been released from prison in Manila, and I had somehow just arrived to Manila! I had just left Bali where I had been living for months, and arrived in Manila. I was completely disoriented, as I had been living in a jungle paradise to arrive in a super charged metropolis with over 26 million people and a current of electricity and chaos that I had forgotten about in my months living only with large blue geckos. The first night I was in Manila, the family who was living outside my window in a homemade apt that seemed to be made using only sheets of metal, duct tape, and sheer determination decided to slaughter a very large and very vocal pig. I was awoken by sounds of screaming so startling I thought I was still in a nightmare. Suffice it to say, I won't be eating piggies again ever. Have you ever heard a pig die? ITS FUCKING TERRIBLE. Don't eat them, they have many many feelings and are very very smart. Anyway the next day I was working at the bar of my hotel, drinking a glass of overpriced white wine when the most curious man walked through the door. This man, was wearing, the coolest outfit I have ever seen. It was almost completely snakeskin, his belt, cowboy boots, pants and vest ALL SNAKE in different colors, one of which was a metallic silver. He rocked up to the restaurant with a huge entourage and they started bringing him bottles of Moet and I thought to myself, yep, this guy and I are destined to be fast friends. So I somehow tricked him into letting me bring out my microphones and while we eat pasta dripping in cream and mushrooms and fresh French bread he let me interrogate him about who he was and why of all the bars in Makati, he had wandered into mine. Who he is, is possibly the most inspiring man I have met. A man whose story brought me to tears and refilled my trampled heart with a kind of hope I forgot existed. I love you Alain. Thank you for being you. Music: Spiderman theme song 1962 Laidback remix SoulClap - Bakerman Edited with LOVE and CARE by Emily Armstrong www.zoenightingale.com CHECK OUT ALAIN www.alainrobert.com

ART BASEL. What is it exactly? It’s a big fuck off money laundering party where you'll see some of the most innovative art in the world but you have to search in between piles of excrement, so large, you'll think they're a set from Jurassic Park. I love artists, and I love creation in all forms, but what I don't love is that the wealthy gallery elite have sucked all of the soul and fun out of it. I am NOT saying that there isn’t bright spots of creative genius all over, all I am saying is the price tags are HILARIOUS and most of the ideas about as fresh as Monday night’s fish. I have tried to understand it but this is the year I am officially throwing in my white hankie. I’m done, I’m out. The rich and famous no longer interest me. When my beloved Singa was dying, I promised her that I would not only throw her a party fit for a Pharaoh (I did) but I would take her ashes and put them in warm places she could watch the sun rise and set every day over the horizon. So I have set off on a two-part quest. One, to spread the ashes of my best friend, and two, to learn how to be a better global citizen of the planet. I want to share ways that we can all help our fellow humans and try to find ways that I can live more harmoniously with Mother Earth. However, two weeks into my trip, here in Ubud, I got into a really bad scooter accident... and because I was wearing the fancy helmet I bought the moment I stepped foot on this bonkers death trap island, I am alive. If I had not been wearing it, I would most likely be dead. Then my mother would have had to pay for my body to be shipped back to the U.S. and she would have found my ghost and re killed me. I had to remember a lot of very important lessons in the five seconds after I crashed, when I was trying to figure out if I was paralyzed or not, lessons I thought were already cemented in my brain the last time I fought and lost a battle with wheels (Zoe on Rollarblades vs. the Marriott airport pick up truck that flattened me into one of those Acme two dimensional cartoon dead people with giant x’s over my eyes.) The most hilarious part is, THERE IS NO ONE MORE CAREFUL THAN ME ON A SCOOTER. I wear the best helmet, I honk for no reason, I go about 2 kilometers per hour. None of that mattered. It’s all a big game of chance against the weavers of your fate, so just in case you get squashed by life... DON’T FORGET. Tell your mother you love her, have a will planned in case of emergencies, get your house in order. Live the life that makes you happy, not the one that looks good in photos. Anger, jealousy, bitterness serve no one. Forgive people the moment they wrong you. Don’t regret any of your past as it got you to where you are. No matter what your problems are, you can change and live the life that you want. As long as you are breathing, YOU'RE GOOD. Eat dessert, talk to strangers, and always give people a chance to say that they are sorry... Oh yeah, and don’t forget your sunscreen. God, am I a preachy disaster today. Also, if you’re an east coast Jew who comes from a long line of potato people whose idea of an adventure is to try a two letter word for a triple letter score that you’re not sure is in the Scrabble approved dictionary, don’t think you can drive a scooter. You will hurt yourself. It’s only a matter of time. I can’t even believe I made it two weeks without getting hit by a seven year old, smoking a cigarette, driving a three wheeled “car” full of chickens. THIS PLACE IS CRAZY. But I love it. Signing off from UBUD, with one working eye and two knees that look like they were trying to pay rent. LOVE, ZOE Edited with unbelievable love and kindness from Stretch Emily ARMSTRONG. Music: Principles: Benoit and Sergio Love Train: Pillow Talk and Soul Clap and Greg Paulus CREW LOVE FOR LIFE https://m.facebook.com/WolfLamb/ https://m.facebook.com/crewlove.us/ https://m.facebook.com/soulclap/ https://m.facebook.com/benoitandsergio/ http://wolflambmusic.com/

For the most part, fancy parties, rich people, and expensive modern art are lame. There, I said it. Whew that felt good. The thing that makes me bananas is that we live in a world of over educated humans who will spend hours discussing the evils of Trump, Republicans or greedy corporations who turn their backs on their fellow man, while doing it themselves every day. At least Trump is on brand, he has categorically stuck to his beliefs which are: fuck everyone, and grab mother nature's pussy without shame. But I have found recently a giant swath of bleeding heart liberals who claim to care about others, while participating in the same systems that subjugate humans and destroy the planet...All I want is for people to look up from their phones and into the eyes of people in the streets. They are people, they deserve our love and support. I wasn’t going to ever let this episode ever see the light of day, I have tons of work where I feel like it’s not “funny” enough, it’s just another sad sack who made bad life choices and my listeners probably only want light and love and comedy in these dark days, but I really had such a hard time at Art Basel with the juxtaposition of money and art that’s trying to make a commentary on our society and change people's mindsets that’s really just a pig with a sephora level makeover that’s another high brow way to celebrate money being the golden calf idol that we all pray to. Fuck that. Just do small things in your life to give back the love that’s given to you. People are desperate for just one other person to give a fuck while fancy people in turquoise geometric glasses sip Perrier Jouet in long stemmed flutes waxing poetically about how this 27 thousand dollar bronze dick sculpture is helping change the landscape of female rights. Nothing changes anything besides random acts of kindness and selfless gifts of love. Get it together first world, the way you live your life bores me. Edited with love and patience by Emily Armstrong [email protected] Instagram: Drznightingale Twitter: @genuinelyfalse Website www.zoenightingale.com Music: Let me Be Him: Hot Chip All is Full of Love: Bjork

I MET MICHELE LAMY. I worship this woman. Bad ass artist, kick ass human, wife of Rick Owens, OG style icon, I can't even. Not only did she let me hang out with her... I gifted her my trusty megaphone and she ran around the art fair yelling at people with it. DREAMS DO COME TRUE EVERYONE. In this episode we meet a bunch of wonderful humans all trying to help me understand, as per usual, why a 12 ft black bronze dildo costs 45K. I for one am about to take a boat to a WEENCY TEENCY island in the middle of the carribean off of Panama with a bunch of wonderful humans to bring in the new year sans technology but full of sun fun and snorkeling and dancing to disco and all the things that make my life worth living. CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS 2019. Speechless. Years are whizzing by and yet I remain faithfully yours, bringing you the stories you didn't even know you wanted to know from all corners of the globe LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Z Edited with love by Emily Brodtman (I LOVE YOU) www.emilybrodtman,com music: Don't want to Short Short Man: Gilette Can You Feel It: Micheal Jackson

What is art? I ask this question every year. Some of the things I see at Art Basel tread a VERY fine line between what I think is a discarded pile of trash and what is considered to be revolutionary art work. But...who am I to judge? My girlfriend Noemi (who is a incredible artist) and I were wandering around Art Miami and she introduced me to this lovely man, who had an incredible James Bond Villain like accent and laugh, who had dug up some fossils, and was brilliantly selling his findings in the middle of this fancy art fair! GENIUS. Check out why fossils are art and why museums are dying right now! VIDEOS of this interview are available on my youtube page right now!! Follow me on Instagram! @DrZnightingale Twitter @genuinelyfalse Music: Jurassic Park Theme Song, John Williams Edited with help with the amazing Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIANT MAN NEPHEW ELIJAH WHO IS 18 TODAY!!

ART BASEL 2018 bitches! This must be my 7th year at the worlds most confusing event. Every year I go, and every year I'm left with the same question, WHY DOES THIS STUFF COST SO MUCH. Every year some guy with a german accent and cool colorful glasses explains it to me, but I still don't understand. I am also redoing my youtube to try to take the show to a more visual 360 experience alongside the interviews so you can watch alongside each podcast. YAY! I'm getting my digital shit together(finally). Big thanks to @Curvyphysique and @elena88c for their beauty charm and elegance which made me literally feel like I knew nothing about how to be sexy, but hopefully they will be my mentors and teach me everything I need to know about how to be a success in this internet age. I can't promise you I'll ever be able to post a photo of just my butt, but maybe, just maybe I'll work in some clavicle shots. As always I send you my love, hope and hugs through the airwaves.

VOTE THEM OUT. Vote them all out. I'm so over it. I would rather let the government be run by 2000 drunk chipmunks then most of these shiny wax figure robot politicians. Democrats are useless, republicans are sheep, everyone thinks that talking about things on social media is what constitutes as participating in politics and no one is actually doing anything. I'm so frustrated. I put this mini episode together in a day and it's truly not my best work, no one would let me record them and the only people who would really speak to me were at a gas station off the side of main road, but whatever, just trying to do my part to get poking at people to get off their tuchus and stop accepting the bulldozing of everything that America is supposed to be about. I'm so sad. Even if we take the house, it's still such a mess. I for one learned a lot about republicans on this canvassing trip and mostly, it's that people are afraid of change, of "others" of the future, of their jobs, and for their children. Also, they REALLY don't like it when you ring their door bell 3 times. I'm running for office in 2020, get ready. I am totally obsessed with finding a new way to communicate with people about how to effectively rise together and vote for people that are actually going to do what they are supposed to do which is protect their constituents and the country and the environment and the systems set up to do this are archaic crumbling and not effective. Everything needs to be overhauled. I'm gonna figure this out.

Alright kids part duo has arrived! Here's one thing I've learned, I am not as educated as I thought. I also have almost zero skills that would be useful in non modern times. However, I love this place and all the super uber historical nerds that are running around it's borders in full handmade metal armor in 100 degree heat. Thank you SCA !! Music: Wuldemut

My friend Zander called me on a Monday and said, hey do you want to drive to Pittsburgh and check out a 15,000 person reenactment of the byzantine empire tomorrow morning...and of course I said...YES! I had literally no idea what I was getting myself into. I have done many weird things in my life, all the cons, festivals, but nothing prepared me for this. This place, is magic. It's a breeding ground for SUPER nerds, who are all experts on some totally niche forgotten aspect of centuries past. Started by the SCA, or the Society for Creative Anacronism, this history buff wonderland is beyond description. Crafts, foods, drinks, dance and battle all done as realistically as possible and quite frankly they do judge you if you aren't authentic. I had the very very best time. Also, they don't do drugs, and barely drink, they get their rocks off battling one another on giant battle fields to protect their specific fiefdoms! Its insanity. So here is a small amount of what I found, in two parts. In no way does it do justice to the vast richness of knowledge, classes and learning that is offered there. THANK YOU PENNSIC!

HELLO! How are we everyone? I'm BACCCCCK, bigger, better, longer and after this.....uncut. (This joke will make more sense after you listen.) So one year after Richard Spencer and the genius think tank behind the White Power movement threw a super fun march that was a complete shitshow that ended in the tragic and untimely death of Heather Heyer, a beautiful young woman who was there protesting...these super brains thought, I know what we'll do... Let's throw an anniversary march of this dark terrible day, and that way we can show how "united" the White Power movement really is.....But this time, let's do it in...Drumroll please....Washington D.C.! D.C....The Chocolate City, my hometown. A city full of beautiful people from all colors of the rainbow who do NOT take kindly to hate groups, a city so full of cops, military and special services that any move we make will be safeguarded by thousands of hard working police officers, all on the tax payer's dime! So.....Of course, completely hung-over, I decided to hop on a train last minute and start a good ol' fashion Nazi hunt....Thing was, this march, which was supposed to unify the right and show their presence and might, only produced 20 paltry, scrawny, pasty, "Nazi's". Despite this, approximately 1 billion of our tax dollars went into full force barricading and protecting these wonderful men, and helping them exercise their constitutional rights. Although I tried my darnedest to find one of these brave men and give them an opportunity to debate me on why they feel like white people have a right to this so called "American Dream.." I couldn't do it. I searched high and low, but not only did these nazi's not give their scheduled speeches in front of the White House but the itty bitty teeny tiny amount of them that came coward behind a tsunami of riot police so I couldn't even get close to them no matter how hard I tried... So...What do I think after spending the day at this rally...? I think that D.C. is even cooler than I remember...That the counter movement of love and acceptance is growing stronger by the day, and that if we keep it up, there is a real chance that in the next election cycle, some real change is going to come. (Rest in Peace you glorious, wondrous super power that is, and was, Ms. Franklin.) Are we still fucked? YEP! Is there still a seething, black-hooded and hoofed group of angry white people ("MEN") trying to protect their version of the American Dream? YOU BET YA. So what can we do...? Get off your tuchus and VOTE. Raise money, AND give your money/time/heart/soul, and together, we shall overcome.....Or not, and our kids will be slaves to the gun toting hillbilly war lords that will beat us liberal-pansy-whining-NPR listening-losers in the upcoming Civil War: Numero Dos. OFF TO THE BURN...See you when the dust settles. I'll be at 9:15 and H, if you're around meet me and my mother at District, Tuesday afternoon. Look for Singa Nightingale's mausoleum, at the temple...I will have paper and pens to leave her a love note, so you can send her a kiss to the sky before her ashes and my pain is burned up in the temple along with a million other moments of loss and love. I miss you my everything.

Basse - the bwiti word for truth, is what Iboga is all about. It is this search for truth - that creates such drastic results for it's partakers. The tricky thing is, in order to find this truth, Iboga insists that one must start in the the hardest place of all, inside your own mind and soul. Iboga is like a hunter, that helps you seek and destroy all the lies growing and twisting around garden inside of your brain. When it finds them, it hands you a nuclear powered weed wacker and forces you to plow your entire consciousness with it. It's not pleasant, and it's not pretty, but it's fucking honest. We are have a past, we all have a movie of our life that is playing silently in the background either filling you with shame or pride...I had a confusing Molotov cocktail of both. Basse - it is now the solitary goal of my life to live, without lying to myself or anyone else, for the rest of my life. Thank you Iboga, for that gift. Singa wherever you are, I miss you. xx

Now...Iboga is not for everyone. Iboga is a hardcore psychedelic that can send you on a universe transversing adventure inside of your mind...or make you confront lifelong trauma you've protected yourself from...either way, my first time, I called lovingly, the infinite loop of pain...A loop where I got to revisit millions of little moments that made up the fabric of my personality, sexuality, self esteem, and sense of self... some good some bad, some down right ugly. I also had some pretty serious conversations with a giant antelope and hung out with a very large African man wearing a crown...but that's pretty normal...no? We will get to my musings about my experience but for now, here is Marika, a fabulous gorgeous curly haired French vixen who spoke 5 languages and wore a striped black and white flowing dress the first night of our ceremonies that made my eyes do fucking backflips all night, but I digress. Next up we have Chelsea, one of the providers there who had dealt with hardcore issues of anxiety which lead to drug addiction which lead to prostitution, who found Iboga, and it saved her life. Then finally, the lovely Gary, the man who started this center and the reason we were all there in the first place. ENJOY I want to dedicate this work, and pretty much the all of my work to the one and only Singa, my best friend, who left this world 7 days ago. If you have a moment, say a prayer for her little dandelion spore soul, and wish it luck on it's next journey around the solar system I love you Singa. Every single day I fall more in love with you.

Yesterday, I returned my best friend and eternal life partner Singa back to the stars from which she came. This is a song written for her, by one of her dear friends Jimmy, who always took exceptional care of both of us, and I am so grateful for this song he made for her that perfectly captures how I felt about her. I adopted Singa 14 years ago, when I was 19 and she was 1. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. The day I picked her up, I put her her in my VW convertible I had at the time and I remember looking at her perfect angelic face and her long white eyelashes, and I said to her, well, what do you want to do now...? She just licked her nose and stuck her face out the window and we rode off into the sunset together. Every morning since, we woke up together, ate breakfast, went for a walk and started a new adventure. She lived with me through college, 15 different roommates, 9 different homes, 4 different cities, went on road trips with me, has been in private planes, yachts, beaches, jungles, forests, rivers, helicopters, hotels, busses, trains, been arrested with me....every triumph, every sorrow, she was by my side, always full of a kind of non judegemental love that I've only heard about in love songs. When I was hit by a truck and bedridden for months, and life felt so dark I couldn't imagine a reason to get out of bed...she sat by my side, demanding nothing, giving everything, letting me heal and filling me with snuggles and keep my dreams of being able to walk her again without pain alive. 3 years ago, she had liver cancer, and the doctors said she had a 10 percent chance of surviving the surgery, but when I was deciding whether to take the chance, and remove half her liver, she looked at me, so sick, arms full of tubes, and stuck her head out the window to smell the air and I knew she wanted to fight. She lived, thrived and was loved every single day since until her death. She loved swimming in the ocean, could eat a rib bone in 1 minute flat, could not take a bad photo, always crossed her paws when she sat, went to a beauty salon to get her dyed (blue, purple, pink, magenta, teal were her preferred colors) had some of the wildest legendary birthday parties you can imagine, dominated dogs 4x her size, loved playing in mud pits and could destroy a squeaky toy in 30 seconds flat. She was beloved by all that saw her and a rockstar from the moment I met her, until I held her head and said goodbye. I have never known a creature to have more passion, personality, pizazz and chutzpah and she truly was my spirit animal. I was so lucky to have found her, and if you have time, please say a prayer for her perfect little soul...I know she has returned from the glittering star from which she came. In my dreams, she's running through the forrest, eating unlimited steak, drinking from crystalline streams. My protector, my love, my everything, my Singa Bear Nightingale Superstar. I love you with everything I have, you loved me despite everything I wasn't. I pray that everyone gets to experience a limitless love like hers once in their life. I will keep her in the cells of my body, and try to spread her life work, mainly, to love everyone, without question, and treat every problem with a smile, one paw at a time. Wherever you are, hold the things you love tight, you never know when it's going to be your last time. I hope anyone and everyone that loved her can feel peace knowing that she went to sleep surrounded by nature, on a velvet pillow, engulfed by the people who worshipped her, with Raspberry Beret on in the background. She always walked in through the outdoor. May you rest in eternal charisma and glory, as was your style.

In part two I continue to prepare for my first ceremony of Iboga root bark. I get my heart checked at the Hospital, (EKG) I check in with some of my fellow participants at the Iboga Wellness Center, and we go through orientation, and try to calm the tidal wave of nerves that have been building since I decided to try it. Cool and calm and I am not, and you can certainly hear my anxiety throughout this episode. People take Iboga for many reasons, but for me it was so I could try to let go of some excruciating pain from my past that was rotting me from the inside out. So I used Iboga to try to break free of my past in order to move on to a happier future. Other people were there to move on from childhood trauma, drug addiction, lack of a spiritual core and were longing for a reconnection with their souls... Wherever you are in this world I send you love and white light and hope you're having a beautiful sunny day full of cold puppy noses and warm long hugs. Don't forget it's almost firefly time!! Edited by Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com

They say that old ways won't open new doors...so I decided to do something new and open the scariest and most elusive door of all, the one that leads directly inside of my mind. I had heard about Iboga for years, first when my girlfriend used it successfully to rid herself of alcoholism. Iboga is traditionally used in West African countries including Cameroon, Gabon, and the Republic of the Congo to induce deep hallucinogenic trances where profound healings take place. Iboga is now being used in specialized clinics in Canada, Mexico, the Netherlands, South Africa, and New Zealand with astonishing results. For reasons I don't understand, Iboga like all plant medicine is a schedule 1 narcotic and will send you to actual pound you in the butt prison if you're caught with it. My purpose in doing this podcast is to show that this is not a drug, it's a tool and a guide to help you overcome trauma and live in the present free from the shackles of addiction and pain. It is one of the only truly effective tools that can be used in the fight against opiate addiction and has been prying the monkey off people's backs with incredible success. I also want to be clear this isn't just an addiction tool, it's a tool for anyone who is looking to free themselves from self imposed shackles that life teaches you to fasten around your ankles. I don't have any one particular addiction I needed to break, but I had been struggling with deep pain from my past and couldn't seem to find relief anywhere. So, I decided that it was time for me to really understand some of the patterns and grooves living in NYC has chiseled into my grey matter. I decided that I wanted to go as far as I could to understand my past in order to better serve my future. I want to be clear that I do not like hallucinogens, and hate being knocked on my ass, out of control. Mind you I'll eat some mushrooms and dance for hours in the sun but I really truly hate the feeling of hardcore psychedelics, so when it came to this I have never been more terrified. I detoxed for a month leading up to it, but every night after I decided to do it I had nightmares and an unreal amount of anxiety leading me up to this first episode, that I recorded the day before my first ceremony. What took place over the next two weeks was a series of lessons, taught to me, by me, and by this mighty tree bark that allowed me to go deeper into my psyche than I ever thought possible. I want to thank the amazing Iboga Wellness Center, it's providers and it's founder Gary, for leading me through this journey and allowing me the space to sit with my fear and master it. Sending you all the love in the world guys, Zoe If you want to learn more go to Iboga Wellness Center's Website: https://ibogawellness.com/

The numbers are horrific, the statistics are devastating, the senseless violence and death is incomprehensible, but there is hope. Because teenagers have had enough, and they're finally using the tools they've been given since birth to organize and scream for change. This is everyone's issue. We all have to take the small steps to help secure a safe future for everyone on this planet. Gun drills in schools, no background checks for automatic rifles, massacres happening all around us, it's up to you to keep organizing, keep shouting, keep signing petitions, keep supporting members of congress who protect us. VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE. Get up off your tuchus and do whatever you can to drain the mother fing swamp. I am from Washingon, and I know full well how rigged the system is. But we can change it, and for the first time in my life I saw the determination in peoples eyes, and how far people are ready to go to make sure that their children and the future is safe. It's just awe inspiring. Here are links I've found if you want to learn more or donate to gun violence victims: https://www.csgv.org/ (collation to stop gun violence) https://www.gofundme.com/stonemandouglasvictimsfund www.timeforcommonsensegoverment.org www.blacklivesmatter.com https://petitions.moveon.org/sign/stop-the-nra https://www.gofundme.com/cause/stoneman-douglas https://www.nationalpriorities.org/take-action/contact-your-representative/ https://splinternews.com/every-member-of-congress-who-took-money-from-the-nra-an-1823035413

Meet Morgan Moves around the creator of "bad art." I met him playing a chess game against Mopar, the wonderful wizard of East Jesus. Morgan is so lovey, bright, thoughtful and a has a degenerative eye problem that doesn't allow him to really see faces so he's dedicated his life to making real time drawings of them. He made one for me, and it was certainly charming. He has many tricks up his sleeves and a wonderful outlook on love and monogamy. Find him @morganmovesaround Don't forget to write me a review on iTunes! itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zoe-n…id886045028?mt=2 Don't forget to join my Patreon campaign for secret episodes www.patreon.com/zoenightingale Don't forget to check out all my writing on the www.cools.com cools.com/author/zoe/ New episodes from The Iboga Wellness Center start next month and until then I have MORE Slab City for you, Hurray!!! Music: Pink Moon: Nick Drake Slab City Song: Randall from Slab City Edited by Emily Brodtman (www.emilybrodtman.com)

Gun Control is a sticky, tricky, very bad no good topic and I feel like we're up to our necks in quicksand and the NRA and special interest groups are shoveling my sand in our face as we try to dig ourselves free. I grew up with a bunch of Jews reading books, who could barely hook up a VCR to the TV if their life depended on it, let alone kill a deer, so far be it from me to understand the kind of mentality one would have to need to protect the right to personally own something that can kill. I don't like guns because I am the kind of nit wit who would accidentally remove herself from the gene pool by shooting herself, and end up looking like Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her. Listen, I get it, they're sexy, and they make your clit tingle just a lil bit, but that doesn't mean I think that anyone should have them. I'm not going to even toss my hat in the ring and voice my opinion more than say they scare me and I think that any kind of automatic ANYTHING should be off the market and carry heavy penalities in a Federal Pound You in the Ass prison if you get caught dealing or buying one. Anyhoo I met Desert John, a semi permanent resident of Slab City the first day I arrived at the Midnight Riders Bike Gang Orgy of Explosions and Fire festival (this is not the name but a very accurate description). Desert John is a wonderful, warm, endearing god fearing Jesus loving man who just so happens to have 45 guns with him at all times. He also drives a mad max Dune Buggy and looks like he's an extra from Tombstone. He rocks. The second day of the festival he took me and a bunch of adorable young Israeli's who had accidentally stumbled upon this gathering (they were just trying to go camping) to the "gun range" which was literally just a wide stretch of sand with 1000 spray paint cans set up to blow up with giant black powder powered civil war muskets. Crazily, when we got there was a whole crew of dudes who were also there to practice their ENORMOUS GIANT TERRIBLY SCARY storm trooper lookin 308 custom built assault rifles and a KRISS Vector 9 mm semi automatic recoil suppression rifles and naturally I sauntered up to them with my microphone and As per usual, I got to talking to them about why they loved these weapons so very much, and if in fact it was to correct for having a small impotent penis...I'm smart. Always good to insult the guys with the very largest gun who has literally matched his whole outfit and accessories to the colors of his gun that could take down a TREX. Listen, I'm all about protecting fundamental rights, but fuck this one. But lets be honest, I have motivation for learning how to shoot guns because I am painfully aware that when the next civil war comes, all the liberal loser pansies like me are going to become the sex slaves of the new red neck overlords, THAT IS unless we get our own guns and know how to use them. So I'm starting to train now. Duh, logic. You're welcome intellectuals. When shit hits the fan come find me, I will be Lara Croft levels of ready. I want to say a HUGE thank you to Desert John who we will hear more from in a later episode. Also a huge thank you to Brendon Burke my dear friend for always taking me on great adventures. Don't forget to write me a review on iTunes! itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zoe-n…id886045028?mt=2 Don't forget to join my Patreon campaign for secret episodes www.patreon.com/zoenightingale Don't forget to check out all my writing on the www.cools.com cools.com/author/zoe/ New episodes from The Iboga Wellness Center start next month and until then I have MORE Slab City for you, Hurray!!!

Welcome to the Slab City Library and The Goonies Farm! All run with love and donation and sheer ingenuity by people who are fed up of trying to fit into society's whims. It's incredible to see how people can organize and create when left to their own devices. I'll let them speak for themselves but I must tell you the people who created these safe spaces are very special and the main thing I took away from it was the desire to want to learn how to grow my own food, it's insane how removed we all from the processes involved to grow things we put inside of our bodies. Don't forget to write me a review on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zoe-nightingale/id886045028?mt=2 Don't forget to join my Patreon campaign for secret episodes https://www.patreon.com/zoenightingale Don't forget to check out all my writing on the www.cools.com https://cools.com/author/zoe/ Don't forget to check out The Goonies Facebook page/amazon wish list https://www.facebook.com/sustainablelivingoffgridd/ Don't forget to check out the Slab City Library Facebook page and their youtube pages! https://www.facebook.com/Slabcitylibrary/ Sending you love FROM Costa Rica BITCHES New episodes from The Iboga Wellness Center start next month and until then I have MORE Slab City for you, Hurray!!!

I met this wonderful wizard wandering around the art collection of East Jesus in Slab City. This place in bananas. There's huge climbing sculptures that have boxes of free weed at the top, kinetic moving art everywhere built out of old disposed metal and plastic of every day human use. It's fucking awesome. Mopar was hanging out playing chess and drinking red wine in a goblet smoking weed out of an actual Sherlock Holmes pipe. HE IS SO COOL. The brightest blue eyes, and one of the most expressive faces I have ever had the pleasure of talking too. I love Slab City, it's full of men like him who have a heart of gold and stories until the cows come home. The main message I got here was 1. Everything is an illusion 2. We are all connected beings 3. Why would you slave your life away working to own things that provide you no pleasure? Either way go pay Mopar a visit, and tell him Zoe sent you and get one of his hugs, he hugs you inside and out. Song: Bittersweet Symphony the Verve Edited by Emily Brodtman PATREON! ITUNES REVIEW!! SOCIAL MEDIA FOLLOW ME BITCHES I'm a writer now! www.cools.com

So...how did I end up in Slab City...? Well..it's a long story. But the short version is a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go to an anarchy festival next door to a meth head campground where people would be exploding home made bombs and setting cars on fire and I said....maybe? But my curiosity about Slab City had started years ago because let me just give you a brief description of what it is. Slab City is a plot of land that is still technically up for grabs out in the middle of nowhere 3 hours past Indio (Coachella) in California. Travelers, veterans, retirees, anarchists, transgenders, renegades from the law, meth heads, artists, counter culture champions, musicians, families, anyone and everyone can be found here in this tiny little oasis in the desert. There is no plumbing, electricity, mail, police, or taxes. It's a perfect little ecosystem of what can happen when humans are left to organize themselves from scratch and find ways to live in Harmony with nature while having their basic food, shelter and water needs met. Slab City has a Library, a farm, a Internet cafe, a hotel, a hot springs, a art collective, a stage with live music, people selling crafts and jewelry spread around and a fully functioning meth lab. Some plots are beautiful, with a well organized set up, some are actual garbage dumps, with questionable humans living in ways you wouldn't want to imagine. It is full of some of the most colorful humans you could imagine, and for someone like me, it's kind of a paradise. No one here has anything to lose, and nothing to hide. They have faced the elements and themselves by living out here alone in the desert and they seriously don't give a fuck. It's WONDERFUL. Before you get the Slab City is the amazing "Salvation Mountain" Leonard Knights 28 year sacrifice to God. It's insane. Primary colors pop in all directions turning a once mud light colored desert floor into a giant work of technicolor art. It's truly something everyone should see once in their lifetime. I spent four days living in an RV and trying to get people to talk to me. It wasn't easy. People rightfully so are a bit cautious when a loudmouth jewess rolls up demanding friendship and community. But I eventually won a couple over and then the doors to Narnia were opened and I fell head first into this very specific slice of the planet with it's own militia, rules and regulations. Get ready. I've got a months worth of episodes coming your way. Check in every Friday! Songs: Slab City Song - Mike Eddie Vedder - Into the Wild - Gauranteed Edited by Emily Brodtman Don't Forget PATREON!! Secret Episodes posted there Instagram @drznightingale Twitter @genuinelyfalse www.zoenightingale.com

So concludes my time at Mid West Fur Confurence 2017. I want to say a huge thank you to KP and Corey who are featured in this podcast, they are the main organizers (volunteer) and have been in the business of fandom for over 20 years. The main thing I learned from here is that when you have community, you are happy. When you have childish laughter in your heart, you are happy. When you don't take yourself too seriously, life is better. I send you so much love through the invisible airwaves this valentines day, wherever you are remember that all you need to do is love yourself and everyone else will follow suit. People come and they go, but if you really know that who you are is full of love and is constantly striving to learn more and to be a better version of yourself then fuck cupid. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BABIES! Love Zoe Your eternal valentine Edited by Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com music: sat morning cartoons by Emily Brodtman Exit - Sing Out - Cat Stevens find all my articles https://cools.com/single-on-valentines-day-fun/?ref=homepage Contribute to my Patreon campaign! https://www.patreon.com/zoenightingale Leave me a review on iTunes or Stitcher! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/zoe-nightingale/id886045028?mt=2 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Episode 3 is here! Today we go inside the mysterious world of the Dealers Den, where anything and everything to do with fandom can be purchased. From laminated personalized name tags, to full on fur suits to tails and ears and noses and ears and shoes and anything your little heart could desire. Something you should know: SPH - specially placed hole, this is what people in the fandom call the holes they have built into their suits so they can get jiggy with one another. Enjoy everyone! Stay warm Edited by Emily Brodtman Check out all my writing at the www.cools.com https://cools.com/sex-trends-2018/ Don't forget to leave me a review on iTunes! Don't forget you can contribute to the costs of making this show at my Patreon campaign! Find the hoof shoes at @choascostumes Find ugly puppy: @ugly_puppy Find Lemon Brat: www.lemonbrat.com @lemonbrat Find PocketWolf @pocketwolfsuits

Next up we meet Orion, a wonderful 20 year old EMT who was at the midwest Fur Con with his Maker. He is a Sergal, a blended dragon character who is dopey, loving and a little like Pepe le peu. Enjoy! Music: Fantasy Mariah Carey Wanna Be - Michael Jackson Edited by: Emily Brodtman

Welcome to the wonderful world of furry fandom, a magical world where everyone looks like some version of your favorite cartoon character and you can be literally anything, or anyone you want to be. Now, I know some of you may not understand this world, and neither really do I, but it doesn't matter because its just another way for people in this world to connect, find love, find friends, and express their creativity. It's not about sex, it's not lunatics who think that they actually are a dragon, it's people who have found a "fursona" that allows them to access parts of their personality that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to. I have ALOT of interviews, and I'm excited to roll these out for you week by week, as always I'll be posting around Thursday/Friday every week, and I hope you are as excited as I am to open the door to this hidden world. Music: The Puppy Song Atomic Dog - George Clinton Born to be Wild - Stephen Wolf Edited by Emily Brodtman - www.emilybrodtman.com I have a new job at the cools! Go check out all of my writing here! https://cools.com/wont-find-nyc-sex-parties/

I met Caleb when he was panhandling outside 711, and I was walking my friends brand new black lab puppy (SO FUCKING CUTE) and I caught a bit of his giant blue saucer eyes beneath his hoodie and I just wanted to adopt him. Young, funny, quick, sly he's just great. I spent awhile with him, bought him a pack of cigs and gave him my card if he was ever in trouble...randomly two days later I was walking down the street and who do I see but young Caleb sitting on 6th ave trying to collect enough coin to buy a small bag of weed. What happened next is going to be an on going series where I try to get this beautiful human back on some semblance of a life track or at least find him a warm place to get high in. Winter time in NYC is brutal, and no matter how much money you have, you can be giving more, that can be clothes, time, money, food, or just eye contact and respect. There is no reason that with the insane amount of wealth floating around this great city that anyone should have to sleep on the street. Also I have a new gig! I am the editor of the new sex and modern love section of www.thecools.com come check out my comedic musings about my own struggles with love and my recommendations on best places to eat/drink/dance/get high in the CITY. https://cools.com/what-scares-me-most-about-growing-up/ Music: Ben Harper: Homeless Child Keep Ya Head Up: Tupac Edited by Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com I A WRITER!!

Back to basics, back to where I belong. In a broke down NJ poorly lit convention center surrounded by Porn Stars and the people who love them, and the last frontier for DVD sales. I don't know why I love places like this so much. It's full of such wonderfully weird people, and no one gives a FUCK. There is a freedom, and a overt grime that allows everyone there to relax. The moment you step inside those doors everyone is on the same playing field. Everyone's like yeah, I'm a pervert, I admit it, and so are you so let's have a great time. The thing that always gets me is the insane amount of money that is being tossed around this industry. People are making serious money, and in super creative ways. Ok, so maybe someone is going to be able to see the inside of your small intestine...but every job has it's ups and downs. I met a ton of fascinating people, and I'm going to be doing longer interviews with a Instagram influencers (1.2 million followers!!) named "lethal lips" who is famous for being one of the only people in the world that can deep throat a 18 inch dildo. Girls gonna give us some tips. We're also going to get in deep with Jordan, the unbelievably beautiful Dominican con man who was covered head to toe in tats that said things like "FUCK THE FEDS" and "I see you looking KEEP HATIN" he was fucking fascinating...I'm going to put a list of all the social media handles of all the people we spoke to that day so you can see for yourself just how fabulous they are. Stay warm kids and don't forget WINTER HAS COME. Get busy get snuggley, keep skinny, don't become a drunk sugar addict like I do every year. Music: I want your sex part 1 - George Michael Doin' it - LL Cool J (best SONG EVER)

It's day 7 and I have gone to the Burning Man Lost and Found in search of my phone which I lost day 1 (duh)and I have gone to find it. This was my very first time there and I must tell you it was one of the most pleasant and organized experiences I have ever had in my actual life anywhere. I had the very best time asking people WHAT they had lost and WHERE ..somebody lost a JET PACK. I am not joking. It was just hilarious. So I was waiting in line for literally forever and was still coming down off a massive night of mushrooms and pirate ships and dance floor battles and didn't notice when a dog the bounty hunter lookin dude covered in tats with a bleach blonde hair had a tiny tea cup long haired black and brown Chihauhua sticking out of his murse. Now, this would normally not bring about such an intense reaction from me, but I have NEVER seen anything living from nature there except for one misfortunate insident with a rouge bird and one single bumble bee all which caused great confusion and wonderment for ever from me. How did they get there? Did this bumble bee fly across the entire desert? Is he so thirsty? Anyway, I digress but the burning man lost and found is the worlds saddest and most joyous place. There was a pile of keys the size of Everest for a million RV's, bikes, chastity belts, Segways shaped like dragons...you have never seen people happier than when they find their RV keys. When you lose your keys at burning man you feel like your entire life comes to a halt and you'll waste out there alone eventually turning into stoney chunks like Ozymandias a warning to future festival goers to keep their shit togeher. Either way, thank you burning man for another INCREDIBLE YEAR. In dust I trust. Music: On and On: Halcyon Orbital: Halcyon Edited by: Emily Brodtman emilybrodtman.com

It's the last day of Burning Man and I am wandering through the skeletal remains of the Robot Heart graveyard. The sun has just come up, and the sky is an orgy of orange. As I stare and wonder about the wasted potential of this generation and watch drug fueled men chase beautiful costume queen Instagram addicts, I feel two very large hands on my bear chest. I look to find the source of the foreign intruder and it belongs the glowing Cherub like face of Miles Matthewson. A man so full of the kind of innocent silly positive energy that you instantly sort of fall in love with his lackadaisical carefree white privilege. I met him wearing a panda onesie wandering the furthest outreaches of deep playa and in order to not become another extinct bear I have zipped it down all the way to my cervix (exposing my bear chest) So there I was winding my own business for ONCE and was stopped by this Adonis like man and his super cool east London girlfriend (she wasn't even dressed up she was in like cool brunch clothes and of course she's a yoga teacher in Ibiza FULL time which means she's off her literal tits) by putting both their hands on my boobies and pulling me into a long drawn out stand up cuddle puddle. This is the kind of thing that only really beautiful people can do. This guy looked like Beyonce's stylist walked around following him with a golden light spotlight and a fan for his silken shoulder lengh locks. Just because they were cute didn't mean I wasn't going to verbally punish them a bit for their audacity so we spent the morning on bike rides and art cars and celebrating life and once again it reaffirmed for me how much I love that god damn place. It's just pure magic baby. Song: Life is a bowl of cherries Road to Nowhere: Talking Heads Edited by Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com Don't forget to sign up to my Patreon Campaign. I decided to keep my podcast ad free because, lets face it, ads are gross, so any help you can give me to support the costs of editing and equipment would be so helpful. This is not my full time job, but one day I wish it could be and unless I start sucking the right dick it's not gonna happen. HELP! www.patreon.com/zoenightingale

It's day 8 of the Burn. I have lost everything and everyone on purpose for I decided last minute to let my grumpy, drained, bedraggled, rag tag team of core friends drive off without me, so I could watch for the Temple burn for first time in 7 years. So I sent them home(with their faces that looked like a cats asshole) with all my Lisa frank colored belongings (beside a minions covered toothbrush, a small bottle of coconut oil and my microphones)and ventured out alone into the desert to see what else the universe could throw at my sleepy face. I ended up meeting two amazing men who were Temple Guardians. Which means they are men who guard the temple to make sure that it's safe for everyone especially during it's burn. I got a chance to talk to them about a really bizarre surreal thing that had happened the day before, which was someone ran head first into the fire as the Man burned on Saturday night. Burning man is dangerous, it's physically brutal and an emotional roller coaster. Most years someone either gets really hurt or killed. This year was different as many people saw this man sprint to his death and then watched his charred remains be pulled out of the wreckage. So it was nice to have an inside explanation as to what happens within the DPW when tragedy strikes. Never regret thy fall, O Icarus of the fearless flight For the greatest tragedy of them all Is never to feel the burning light.” - Oscar Wilde

Three years ago I brought my entire family to Burning Man. Everyone thought I was crazy. Why would you bring your family to the one place where you're supposed to be free of all your "default" worlds staples...So what happens when you take 5 east coast super jews whose idea of camping includes 4,000 Egyptian sateen blend sheets and a penchant for obsessing over food, logistics, weather and being on time and leave them helpless to fend for themselves in a desert populated with 70,000 insane asylum escapees with only ME as their way finder? MAGIC BABY. I have been plotting for this moment basically my whole life. I have always been different, always been the fly in my families ointment. While they love me, they’ve never really understood what the deviled egg I was ever wearing, saying, doing. My resistance to getting a “real job” my failure to get a masters. My insistence on spending my life traveling like dandelion spore in the wind. While they have always supported me, they have always questioned me, rolled their eyes and muttered old yiddish expressions under their breath whenever I would tell them about my newest adventure business idea or travel plans. We have always been incredibly close, but as the years went by and people moved away, had children, settled down we naturally grew apart. I stayed crazy, they all stayed sane. It’s like the quote in dazed and confused, I get older, they all stay the same age. I needed to ruffle their feathers. To take away their cell phones, their addiction to work and process. I needed them to get lost, be confused, fend for themselves against the elements, let fate take them on a Icarus ride straight to the sun. I needed them to understand the joy I have felt my whole life being free so they in turn could understand me. So a pinnacle moment for my mother was this moment when she went to the Pussy Day Spa. For her it revolutionized her entire mentality around being naked. Which was in fact I think the thing that was stopping her from finding a new life partner. I have so much gratitude to Woody and Champagne for giving my mother this gift. They are such a wonderful example of different ways you can find partnership that don't erect prison walls around your natural biological urges. THANK YOU PUSSY DAY SPA!! Edited by: Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com Music: Car Wash: Rose Royce So Fresh So Clean: Outkast

Transgender issues are something I don't take lightly and try to approach with as much love and understanding as I have in my body. I cannot imagine the bravery it would take to stand up for the gender you know you are but do not match physically and hormonally. There are over 700,000 people who identify as transgender in the U.S and as people feel more support from the culture at large that number grows and grows. This is the first person I have ever interviewed on this subject but it's one I've always been fascinated with and am going to keep exploring. What makes up gender. Who decides what constitutes masculine and feminine. Why do we have such rigid and defined ideas of what people should look like and why does it bother people so much when people confront those definitions with their own new blended ones? For some reason when I think about this, it makes me imagine goddess's in their celestial kitchen, whipping up new humans and breathing little soul balls into babies and getting distracted by a unicorn, blowing the wrong soul into the wrong tiny little body. This is obviously not a medically accurate description of what happens but until I get a better one this is what I am sure happens. This one was a hard one because it's the first first my mother and I ever got into a fight during a recording. I had a very clear vision of my mother and the way she thought about most things and her questions to MJ really upset me and made me SO UNCOMFORTABLE... but I realize now that my mother was simply practicing radical honesty, and she did it in a way that wasn't malicious. She was merely curious and had the balls to ask the questions most couldn't. Anyway... we worked through it and I am really proud of her for being so open and causing dialogue that FINALLY me me squirm. I like to believe and pretend that everyone is full of love for the LGBQT community even though I know it's not true. I hate acknowledging that the gender switching could cause internal conflict but it does. So I'm sending all my love to anyone coming out of their cocoon and emerging into their beautiful butterfly self. THANK YOU MJ!

I just love old dudes at the burn. They always have one weird accessory, some kind of military jacket, hiking boots and a shit eating grin on their face. I found this lovely, beautiful man waiting to get his photo taken by my mothers BOYFRIEND. Yes. My mother has a boyfriend, and they met online (common interest, burning man) and then had their first date on PLAYA. I mean come on. He has his on golf cart. I love him. Nick King, or the Soul Doctor, has been taking photos at center camp for the last 7 years. He always has a line waiting to have their photo taken so I posted up with my mom and stuck my microphone to the next up in line and this is what I found! A simply lovely, 80 year old retired Ranger (not BS burning man ranger, i mean knife in teeth, gilly suit ranger) who had been a land mine installer in three round of Vietnam. Heavy stuff. I'll let him speak for himself, but this man had the most jovial voice and a twinkle in his eye. If he can do it, so can you. No more excuses everyone. Come see for yourself what all the fuss is about ALSO i am having a fund raiser next Friday for diasterrelief.org please come. 20 dollar donation at the door and I'll be doing stand up and MC a live auction, FUN! Got a couple of comedians and three all star DJ's including Wolf and Lamb. YAY! https://www.facebook.com/events/1968121960113532/ Music: Vietnam - Jimmy Cliff Harder They Come - Jimmy Cliff Edited by Emily Brodtman - www.emilybrodtman.com

Burning man episodes start now! First up the minds behind Big Imagination try to explain to me why they thought it was a good idea to chop up a giant 1977 air bus, and close down roads from the Mohave Desert to Black Rock city...so they could put half the cock pit of a plane on the ground. The thing is so massive, so heavy, so unimaginably large...and I know most things at the burn are just for the fuck of it, but never has it been this expensive, and this much of an undertaking with such medium results. I would rather them bring a 747 sized black rubber cock down the road. Who wants to be in a plane? I hate being in planes. I'll tell you what's an impressive art car. It's a giant purple and pink piñata, built on a fucking crane, that has lollipops that rise up out of it's belly with a platform disco ball candy dance floor. It cost 20k all in. But I wanted to put my judgements away and give them a chance to explain to me exactly what kind of Peyote they must have been smoking when they decided...hey! I know, lets show the playa gods how big our collective dicks are and take on this Herculean feat! I'll let them answer for themselves. Remember I'll be posting an episode EVERY THURSDAY! Yes I have a schedule CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! FYI It costs them 500k to get the plane back and forth from storage, EVERY YEAR. Music: MIA Paper Planes Simon & Garfunkel: Only Living Boy In New York

I love Rennaissance festivals. Why? Because it's full of people who usually are hiding behind a 4chan handle or on Reddit chat threads arguing about whether the Hobbit is a better movie than Starwars. It's just fabulous. People are happy, full of turkey legs, and have a commitment to costuming and role playing that I admire. It's probably my 11 years of circus/theatre camp and my years of playing Dungeons and Dragons that allows me to to blend seamlessly with these kind of people. It's neat. It's a wonderful escape from the actual reality of the 4 headless horsemen who are disguised as Hurricanes, earthquakes and orange man babies. This episode won't really teach you anything new, but it will maybe remind you that behind any facade, there is a heart that is searching to connect with the world around it. We are all in this together, we all just use different tools to shield us from the world. Edited by Emily Brodtman

I learn something new about my family every time we have dinner. The question of nature vs. nurture is always buzzing around my head anytime i'm with home because growing up I always felt like I was the fly in their ointment, But with age I have had the pleasure of being able to see how not only am I their genetic copy but how deep the connective tissue is that ties us together. This year has been a series of brutally challenging lessons for me. I lost two people who I felt were the building blocks of my life. People I loved with every cell of my body. To say I've struggled with accepting this, would be an understatement. I am at my core a little hermit crab (who hates finding a new shell) and when it comes to the people and things I love, I just want to grab them and pull them into my shell and keep them there with me forever, even if we've both outgrown it. The struggle has been real and after this burning man I felt like that fire engine haired girl in Run Lola Run...like i'd been sprinting my entire life against an invisible clock...and STILL arrived one second to late. So a couple mornings ago....I had a mildly serious, completely terrifying panic attack....where it felt like I'm handcuffed to a clock work orange chair with my eyes taped open watching on repeat a slide show of my fears about the future ...all while the room is simultaneously folding into itself, turning into a smaller and smaller oragami crane...the air draining from the room and making my face look like Arnold S at the end of Total Recall. So what does one do in these times of worry and woe? DUH! Breathe and call your mom. So I poured my body into a train and got into my mothers bed so I could watch antiques roadshow with her, and argue about what the hypothetical cost of a tiffany's lamp shade from 1920 would be. This is my happy place. And why am I writing this this? Trust me, I don't want to. But because I'm hoping that if their are others that get this feeling...that they know they're not alone. To offer up some very humble thoughts around loss and change. Life, regardless of who you are, how much you learn, what you have, and what you don't have...is challenging. I assume at some point the struggle to find purpose and meaning with why our consciousness was paired with this particular body in this particular time, is a universal one. I only know one thing. If you are lucky enough to have family, big or small, go to them when things feel upside down. Because people come and go, but your families love (as challenging as they maybe) is forever. Anyway, my uncle Robby was in DC because my father and him live in MIami and Irma had forced them to flee back up north and hide out in D.C. with my mother. I recorded this story as I record all my family stories, with my cell phone in the middle of the dining room table just listening to the tennis match like stories that fly around the air. I have nothing but endless gratitude for them. I have a shell I can always go two, when I feel naked and alone in this world. I am a lucky little crab. Music: Golden Earring: Twilight Zone (extended remix) Beatles: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds Edited: Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com @drznightingale: instagram @genuinelyfalse: twitter www.zoenightingale.com

I feel like Ahab lost in a sea of hatred looking for a great white whale to give my life meaning again. I literally don't know what to do or say anymore. The hate is so deep, the ideology is so wrong. I left this country to get away from this and the moment I'm back I literally trip and land on the laps of two actual real life trump voting, grand wizard loving men. These two were gems. Fathers, business owners, best friends, hard working Americans..and the are the reason Trump got elected. The insane thing is what they don't understand is that the golden orange cow they put into office is the actual palpable representation of why the were born into a cycle of poverty in the first place. Capitalism, lack of education, corporate rights over human rights, money over decency, greed over community...the irony is simply lost on them that the man they put in power is their actual arch nemesis. We are fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked. I won't spoil it, but they literally contradict themselves at every turn. I couldn't believe he could say things so diametrically opposed to one another. It was like watching trump himself twirl around chasing his own hair piece. We are so fucked. That's all there is to it. Dudes like this are deciding our future, and honestly I liked them both. This isn't black and white, this is a prism of butt fuckery, and Trump doesn't even have the decency to use lube. GET ANGRY EVERYONE. Get up off your ass. Do something, anything please for the love of god. That's assuming we will have a world to try to save in four years at the rate were going...honestly I'm going to camp outside Tesla's head quarters and wait for the rocket ships to mars. HOST NOTE Due to copious drinking of beer in horns, I of course fucked up the sound AGAIN, I am the least pro journalist of all actual time. One day I'm going to have like a team of well dressed men with boom mikes and fancy monitors...but until then, it's just me and my medium audio skills so deepest apologies, I had to cut a lot of it due to sheer sloppy sound quality. Music: Good Ole Boys: Randy Newman Mary Don't You Weep - Aretha Franklin Edited by Emily Brodtman: Check her out at emilybrodtman.com

This lovely man, who I'll call Juan Doe, had skin like fresh caramel glowing behind full moon eyes and a smile you needed sunglasses to look directly at. Juan lived and breathed dignity and danced like summer twister. Hot n furious, body twisting and contorting to match the frantic beats of the African drums that surrounded us at the sweaty dance halls he would take me to. Pure machismo was wafting out of every pore while the men (dripping in gold chains) twirled bright lipped women in sky high heels. There was a moment where my mother, who was being spun around by a coke can shaped man dressed in all silk, yelled out to me, " this is heaven!" I LOVE CUBA. I want to eat it and keep a little piece of it inside my body at all times so I can remember one very important thing, THERE IS NO WRONG TIME TO DANCE. There is nothing more fun that watching men and women of all shapes, ages and sizes, blaze across a restaurant floor at 3 pm. He became my city guide. Showing me the nooks and crevices of the crumbling city center of Old Havana. I got a crash course in Santeria, a mix of the West African religion Yoruba, with elements of Roman Catholic and Native American traditions. It is often misinterpreted as a ‘voodoo’ religion as it involves trance, animal sacrifice, deity worship and sacred drumming and dancing. He took me too hole in the wall lunch spots where 3 dollars would buy you the best fried fish in a heaping steaming pots of rice and beans with tons of smish smashed golden plantains, sweet and salty, crispy and soft. The best! I remembered, that above all, people who work hard at something they love, with a higher purpose than pursuing their own vanity projects (ego) are always the happiest. He worked as a tour guide at Cajellon de Hamel. A landmark made by Salvador Gonzalez who saw an opportunity to turn a destroyed landscape into a raw panoramic feast of the African history of slavery in Cuba. It celebrates all things Santeria, robust shapely women dance along the walls, their colors celebrating all things human, taunting me with their wonderful eyes and wicked feminine wiles. He convinced the government by pitching it as school for street kids that would teaching them how to play drums and make art. It's such a wholesome, wonderful musical place. I had my interview interrupted by 100 middle schoolers all in fresh crisp mustard and crimson uniforms. Is there anything cuter than 12 year olds in knee socks? NO! Honestly, every single kid could have been a gap kid. I don't know what it is about the mix of Caribbean and African that produces this unreal color of golden skin, sky high cheek bones and gazelle like bodies. It's so brutally unfair that I come from potato shaped humans. These kids still have my heart. So powerful, so articulate, so wise, so sure of themselves. They were cooler than I will EVER be. I didn't translate them for you because I wanted you to hear the power in their voice. These girls basically told me that they have dreams of being policemen, teachers, mothers, and judges, all for the purpose of cleaning up all the bad guys. They told me that they want the embargo between the U.S. and Cuba to stop. They love all things American, especially Skrillex, Rhianna, Bieber, and Vin Diesel (they shot a faster more furious more fastest the 10th in Cuba and Vin came and hung out with these kids) They told me the reason that trump was president was because Americans hate immigrants and are racist (FACT!) and that they hoped we would stop seeing immigrants as pests but as people. Go to Cuba. Invest in her people. Donate to people who help them. Fight against that stupid man baby's new embargo's. The people there deserve nothing less than all the love and support the world can offer. It'll take time, but I want Sunshine to grow up in a world of choice. http://www.aidtocuba.org http://firsthandaid.org/ Music : Killing Me Softly With His Song (cuba version)Omararo Portuondo Let Me Be Him: Hot Chip

IBIZA. I have always viewed this tiny Baleric Island as the Ft Lauderdale of Europe. With hordes of sun burnt Brittish lads looking like candy canes draped in matching neon on Stag Do tank tops followed by hordes of marshmallow lipped mega ho's stumbling around in their Chinese foot binding shoes, shit faced and looking for their next semen injection. Not my cup of tea. When I travel I like to either go somewhere and get lost with people I love, OR I go core, I go cheap, dirty and local and alone. I don't do 40 dollar California rolls, (Sunset Ashram are you fucking serious? Some of the prices made me literally want to bitch slap the bartender...like are we both witnessing and actively participating in agreeing that the total sum cost of rum, mint, ice, sugar and some Italian surfer to crush it half harzardly, put a spring of mint in it then do a line of coke off the fake tits of a waitresses under the bartop....is 25 EUROS! Makes me want to kill someone) I don't travel to speak english. I travel to learn, to grow or to celebrate life with loved ones...but somehow, regardless of my hatred of all things Ibiza....the capricious winds of fate used my Judiasm against me this summer when one of my best friends said some combination of "fancy" "villa" and "free," and I said fuck it why not see what all the fuss is about. The truth is I was also fleeing my sick bi polar semi abusive relationship with New York City.... It's like i'm in high-school in a tiny mid west town, and New York is my hot older boyfriend in college who has a Jeep wrangler and picks me up and drives me to all these horizon expending places (like the MALL!) Only problem is... he's physically abusive, hot and cold, steals my money and is jealous of others cities I visit. Even though I've vowed to leave him, he warms up a little bit and gives me flowers... and I get lured back with promises that he'll change, often dazzling me with his live music or improv comedy skills...i'm weak. I love him so. Anyway, very simply the lack of nature is inhumane and shuts my consciousness down. I need air, i need trees, I need flowers bursting with color and mountains looming above me, their size and power allowing me to feel the presence of mother earth all around me. I need water over my head, drowning me in it's infinite wisdom rocking me back into baseline...all these components the base to my acid. I need my phone to shut the fuck up. I needed to leave the US and stop reading headlines about that orange fascist man baby whose diaper needs to be changed, I need billions of colors, cultures, tastes, foods, sounds, animals, currencies and languages. Living in NYC denies me access to the fundamental life force I need to feel whole. So I booked a one way ticket with one of my best friends Quinton and got lost. I had a love hate relationship with Ibiza. I relearned the ultimate lesson which is you will find what you seek. Ibiza is full of nature and beauty so resplendent you actually can't look directly at it, she's like a medusa of sorts, and can turn your nose and heart to stone if you're not careful. I stayed away however from the nightclub scene except for one night when I went to go see NYC favorites Bedouin at this big fuck off bordello like mega night called "Story". I was instantly hungry for actual human connection, watching the k'd out swaying masses so I went wandering and ended up I meeting this shockingly beautiful boy who was dressed so elegantly I literally took his hand sat him down and said, "Tell me everything." Dripping in hope, basking in his complete freedom with a brain that spoke 5 languages and shoulders who wore kimono's like pimp wears fur, gliding about the earth as if he had a cloud hovercraft. Ah young love. Is there anything better. I wish you luck young Philip. I hope you find her again...there's nothing better in this world than impossible love that works out. Music: This is IBIZA - Sander Kleinenburg La Dispute - Yan Tiersen

Parents are tricky, you can't pick them, you cannot change them, all you can do is bask in the glory of the two bodies your soul chose to enter the world through. I don't know what amorphous sentient spaghetti monsters in the sky to thank for giving me these two vessels...but thank you thank you thank you. Music: Heart of Gold: Neil Young

Kathy Jane, my mother and my guide through this earth is always the first person I call after I do something outrageous. She is my North Star, and always allows me to process my failures in a thoughtful way. There is no better person to help me navigate my hearts ups and downs and it is my honor to be able to share her laughter and words of wisdom with you. Mom, I LOVE YOU. Music: Neil Diamond: Heart of gold Adele: Send My Love Check out Skirt Club for updates on their next parties!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....the answers to all of last weeks episode and more! I have three more interviews to dot the i's and cross the t's of what really goes down in a all female hetrosexual orgy. Next up, my dear mother and father discuss my experience there and weigh in on why I am the way I am. Host note: I love skirt club. I love it's founders I love it's message I love their events and everyone should try this for themselves. Everyone else was having a fabulous time and it literally looked like one of the most beautiful porn movies you've ever watched....perfect lighting, gorgeous women, big white furry rugs, hot tubs, pink champagne...strap ons, wands the works. It's a wonderful place to learn more about yourself, so try it for yourself, I guarantee you you'll be more successful than me. Music: I want to be evil: Eartha Kitt Nasty Girl: Vanity 6 Follow Margo Stilley @margostilley Skirt Club @skirtclub

When Genevieve La June the founder of Skirt Club UK, asked me to give a comedic speech at her New York event (a all female sex party for straight women) I was THRILLED. It was not an easy task they gave me, to deliver a speech on Women's liberation since the 1920's to 100 New York City bad ass bitches in 1,000 dollar matching Agent Provocateur lingerie sets, sipping pink champagne greedily awaiting me to finish my silly speech so they could feast on each others innards. Subsequently, I couldn't have been more nervous, but in the end everyone was laughing so hard I thought they'd pop open their corsets, so I've concluded I killed it. Despite this I ultimately failed in my goal, which was to finally have sexual congress with a pair of XX chromosomes. To be fair I had a pink albatross hanging around my clavicle because I have been toying around with the idea of bisexuality for some time. Primarily after a major break up when I quietly thought to myself, that's it, i'm finished with foreskin...bring on the V. Don't get me wrong, as an ex party girl burning man junkie I have invariably had multiple experiences of varying degrees of disaster, with women. Most of them sadly wearing festival shit like fairy wings, glitter and nipple pasties...women who probably say things like "i'm only doing this because Mercury is in retrograde and I just finished my moon celebration...hold on i need to take out my yoni egg before we start" - shoot me) Despite my XXX rated desires, most of these experiences ended up looking like a PG13 scene from Girls Gone Wild Panama Spring Break (2002) because when there's 2 sluts baked on drugs no one is actually going to pull the trigger and eat two day old party vag that's been marinating in shiny lame/lycra hotpants in the sun in places without toilet paper. It's just not going to happen. #blindleadingtheblind. I've concluded that YOU NEED TESTOSTERONE or an actual Lesbian because straight women are all talk, flirt and ego and in the end it becomes just that. Talk. If you listen to me, you probably know I can talk my way in or out of anything. Throughout my sexual life I would create super sexy girl on girl moments.... only then to fall victim to the tiny Woody Allen spermatozoa worry wort that lives on my right shoulder that likes to remind me that Michael Douglass got throat cancer from munching so much box. What's my point? In my mind I am this sexually fluid, open minded sex goddess ready and willing to participate in any and all adventures. In reality, I am a fucking coward shaking like a leaf in a hurricane when ever I have to leave my comfort zones and try something new. It's pathetic. I am working on it. So I went to this party. The rest is history. A huge thank you to Skirt Club for allowing me into your world it was the ultimate litmus test. Music : My Neck My Back - Khia I Kissed A Girl - Katie Perry website: https://skirtclub.co.uk/ Instagram: @skirtclub Host note: the founders are IN the photo above

I LOVE CUBA. But it confused the deviled egg outta me. Here's what I DO know.....It is a delicious, sensual, colorful, vibrant, wonderland that has the kind of magic only a country that has been preserved in the past could have. Technology simply isn't there. We had to buy the internet like we were buying a crack rock in a street ally. A little man runs out to your car and sells you wifi! Everyone you meet looks right in your eyes. Everywhere you go spontaneous dance erupts like techtonic plates crashing into one another. While it is a community that is ready for change, i'm not sure their ready for the kind of disconnection, connection brings. I haven't had a vacation like this in years. Totally random, using fate as my guide, random chance as my destiny, no GPS, just maps and stars and wishes to get places. You have to be on time, because you can't call anyone!! Remember when people were on time not just texting you a sundry of preposterous excuses. I DO. You didn't show up late, because then your friends ditched you. #consequences. People strut. They walk down the street like their private parts are made of the freshest ripest, juiciest ingredients. This is not just sexy young women, this is big beautiful round women in bright pink spandex their body resembling a horn of plenty spilling over with fruit. Short, stocky men peacock around like their dick was made of gold and dance so well you could literally end up pregnant. Older women have incredible grace despite and because of the fact that they could drink and cook and fuck AND dance you under a table. The cost of things seems to be entirely negotiable and varies so wildly that there literally is no point ever where you are not being fucked sideways by 7 different people and all their cousins. For me, this is really frustrating because I pride myself on the art of negotiation but either way your gringo ass, is getting fucked, with no coconut oil. There's only two drinks. Rum, and beer. They are both delicious, and make you better at speaking Spanish AND salsa. This is probably just in my mind but winner writes the history so i'm basically a fluent ball room dancer there. Hordes of uniformed teenagers dominate the streets laughing and flirting and lost in a kind of cell phone free adolescence that I miss and loved so much about growing upEvery single person has access to free health care, free education (up to masters levels) women if they get pregnant get a mandatory full year paid leave, their husbands 6 months!!! People are SUPREMELY educated. The problem is there aren't enough jobs, and the jobs pay 11 dollars and month. Bubble gum pink, mint green and cherry red convertibles rumble by, the sounds of their exhaust clogging up your ears and confusing your lungs, it's the BEST. Glorious architecture is melting in front of your eyes and everywhere you look you can see the blinding beauty still left decaying and rotting around you. Sinful dance moves everywhere (we're talking 7th grade style hump-fests once my mother turned to me wide awed whispering, "how do they not have orgasm's in their pants when they dance?" There is a complete grasp of the present that I don't think Americans could ever understand. It's like stepping into a actual time machine, and it was for me, the complete detox i wanted. YOU NEED TO GO AND GO NOW. Cuba will always be Cuba. It's not going to change overnight, but trying to describe the spirit of it's people is like trying to bottle lightning. JUST GO.

How do we chose what we feel empathy for? Can you think of yourself as a good, moral person when you consistently overlook your fellow humans who are in obvious need? Every day we make choices. We overlook war, famine, lack of water, access to education, rape, genocide, a justice system that has a vested interest in incarceration and trapping minorities in a cycle of poverty, merciless slaughter of animals, toxic pollution and waste being pumped into every available crevasse of our exhausted planet... We spend our money on countless selfish vanity projects, while we watch people suffer. Does that make you bad person? I'm just as guilty of this as anyone. I pick and chose where I focus my empathy. Children are foaming from the mouth and dying in their parents arms and I go to brunch. What do we do when everything feels to big for you to help. How can we live meaningful lives full of all life has to offer while taking care of those around us who weren't so lucky? I have no answers. I feel powerless. But the only thing I can do is to start small. Volunteer at food shelters, sit down with people on the street and ask them what they need to have a tiny spark of happiness in their life. If that is cigarettes and a pint of rum so fucking what. I'm trying to help elect representatives that will help make sure the money from our taxes is allocated to those who need it most. I'm trying to do work that gives people hope and makes them feel loved. I'm acting locally while trying to think globally. It's up to you. At the end of your life what will you have given back, how will you have impacted this world to make it a better place? Fuck the photos, fuck the filters, get your hands dirty, look into peoples eyes and see that they just want to be loved, full and be warm just like you. Capitalism thrives on separation. We don't stand a chance if we continued to be divided. As for Syria, the amazing Milana Vayntrub has started a non profit called www.can'tdonothing.org which can help show you the best way to help donate to Syria and the refugees that are displaced all over the world. For New York here are some places you can donate your time, money and resources.. www.standupforkids.org/ http://trinityplaceshelter.org/ http://volunteer.foodbanknyc.org/ https://www.bowery.org/ http://www.meatloafkitchen.org/

Confused about what's really happening at Standing Rock? Lets get the facts: Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) is a pipe that is supposed to carry 570,000 barrels of crude oil per day from the Dakotas to Illinois. On July 27, 2016, The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for violating the National Historic Preservation Act when the agency issued final permits for a massive crude oil pipeline stretching from North Dakota to Illinois. This complaint asserts that the Corps violated multiple environmental and historic preservation statutes, focusing on the decision to reroute the pipeline from Bismarck, North Dakota to the doorstep of the Standing Rock reservation without adequate environmental analysis. The Dakota Access Pipeline project, also known as Bakken Oil Pipeline, would extend 1,168 miles across North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, and Illinois, crossing through communities, farms, tribal land, sensitive natural areas and wildlife habitat. The pipeline would carry crude oil from the Bakken oil fields in North Dakota to Illinois where it will link with another pipeline that will transport the oil to terminals and refineries along the Gulf of Mexico. The Corps granted permits for the pipeline in July 2016 under Nationwide Permitting. This process circumvents any kind of close environmental review and public process. The Lake Oahe crossing requires an additional approval—known as an easement—because it crosses federally owned land on either side of the Missouri River. It was this easement that the government confirmed would not be granted. On Feb. 8, the Trump administration granted the Lake Oahe easement, allowing the pipeline to be constructed under the Missouri River half a mile upstream of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. During this process thousands of protestors came to Standing rock, to try to hold off the giant machines that were coming in to drill the land. Despite some of the most organized and visible protesting a Native American cause has ever had, the cries fell on deaf ears. The protestors were shot with rubber pellets threatened and physically assaulted. The camps have since been destroyed and the pipeline is slated to be finished as quickly as possible. I met Frank, A Sioux medicine man at a Sweat Lodge he had created after the weekend of protesting. I had the privilege of sitting with him, letting deep hot steam cleanse me of some of the black thick toxic energy I have been carrying around with me since someone pulled the cord out of my head and I woke up matrix style and I realized that there was no autonomy, and we're all tiny puppets being controlled by a bunch of rape hungry deliverance good old boys. Frank is incredible, kind, soft, thoughtful and an incredible storyteller. I am honored to be able to tell a tiny part of his story. I implore you to get involved anyway you can. Stop supporting corporations who support environmental degradation (Wells Fargo, Caterpiller, Chevron Coca Cola, Ford, Monsanto, Nestle, Pfizer, Wal-Mart) Open your eyes. Watch out for fake news stories from bullshit alt right garbage collectors like (Washington Times, Activist Post, , Dc Gazette, Bloomberg.ma, usatoday.com.co, Denver Gaurdian) Become an active member of your community. Learn about who is trying to take independent or democratic seats in the upcoming 2018 congressional elections. It's simple, we can keep watching the titanic go down in flames or millions of us can take up a thimble and start bailing little bits of water out. We're fucked, don't get me wrong. But we can at least go down with dignity as a species who tried, not just a bunch of selfish cunts wasting away like Narcissus lost in our own reflection, thinking we're the star of our own mini Truman show. www.standingrock.org https://www.naha-inc.org http://lakotalaw.org

It's Saturday January 21, 7 am. After spending 24 hours deeply entrenched in enemy territory, sounded by giant trump letters and scattered blobs of amorphous humans covered in red make America Great Again hats (only 19.95 for a limited time only, but wait theres more!) clawing my eyes out trying to talk sense into glassy eyed humans who had all drank Trumps orange cool aid.... I was about ready to Madame Butterfly my innards....HOWEVER The next morning THANK GOD I am woken up by my over caffinated mother and 15 of her pink headed pals getting their chants together in my kitchen. We started early, we had signs, we had snacks, we had clear plastic back packs, hand sanitizer, fully stocked metro cards and a lot of attitude. THE MARCH WAS MADNESS. Pink headed women swarmed the streets, shut down the subways, and overwhelmed all means of transport. Millions of women, mad, proud, sad, and reinvigorated to fight against our waking nightmare MR TRUMP. This march I believe, was about finding the strength to fight the oncoming war over our reproductive rights, to stand for immigrant women who are seeking refuge from persecution, rape and violence, to ensure our pay is finally equal to our male counterparts and to scream from the rooftops that it is and always will be our body AND our choice. To prove once and for all that it is RAPE CULTURE not LOCKER ROOM TALK. To look around and see the vast sheer quantity of like minded warm hearted pink headed humans that are there to help you through this next four years. To see millions of women around the world who have said enough. Who put heir feet in motion and showed the world that this administration DOES NOT REPRESENT AMERICA. Don't forget however, that the the fight is just beginning. That we must join forces and create a vast army of kevlar coated pussies who will be plotting every day about how to restore the Devine Feminine because the time for Testosterone is OVER. So what did I learn? That it is up to us to live freely, lead by example, smile at strangers, volunteer our time, give our money freely to those who need it, be powerful mothers, best friends and loving daughters. It is up to us to lead sinful nasty lives full of orgasms, laughter, chocolate, dirty martinis and high heels. It is up to keep up the fight to make sure this world is a place we want to live in. To protect the environment as much as possible so that the children of this world will have a place to nourish them. That we don't need to fight the forces, we need to USE THEM. Band together, use our dollars and voices to effect change. Trump is crumbling. He is scrambling, we are making headway to truly being able to restore a democratic congress in 2018. I believe in you. Music: Make America Great Again: Pussy Riot

January 20th 2017...Day 1 of 1300.....the day Lord Voldermorts reign of terror began! What a day it was, the sky was smothered in gray clouds, the air was thick with whatever the opposite of hope is, giant military Hum Vees were parked all over with pods of nervous looking Army guys milling around. Helicopters hovered menacingly, circling the sky, their blades adding to the symphony of fear playing on repeat throughout downtown. Sirens were going off in every direction and it generally felt like we were waiting for god to set the whole city on fire ala Sodom and Gomorrah. I was raised on George Clinton, Gogo and Ben's Chili Bowl. Politics has always been in my blood. I have been to every inauguration possible since my birth. From the moment I got off the train at Union Station, I knew I was entering enemy territory. Mr potato shaped humans, with interchangeable bland wonder bread features were milling around, all topped off with that one glowing red beacon, the "Make America Great Again," hat. I must tell you what a weird fucking thing it is to walk through YOUR hometown and feel like you are the odd man out. I hadn't thought about how much instant hatred and animosity I would feel toward ANYONE who had the tiniest amount of Trump paraphaneila on. I instantly directed all my hate and frustration onto their face and started hoping that terrible things would happen to them, we're talking full on day dreams of them being ripped apart by starving wolves, wishing STD's would explode all over their genitals.. I mean I started going nuts. But I calmed myself down eventually... So I walked, and talked. I listened I laughed. I met many wonderful people who were educated, thoughtful and pleasant who were completely Pro Trump. Everyone was lovely, I had to seriously rethink my ideas about the people who voted for him. The thing that scares me the most now is that now that I'm back in NYC I'm unable to tell who the snakes in the grass are. A even worse, most of them are pretty likable!! Worst. The hat was exceptionally useful, like a sneech with a star upon thars, I felt safer knowing who went into what bracket. Pink Pussy hat = friend, Red Trump hat = enemy. Life was so simple and organized that weekend. Good vs. Evil. Left or right. This is what fucked me up about the election in the first place is that I had been living in a echo chamber of my own creation, full of like minded humans whose brains had evolved past 1952 and who shared similar world views to me about seemingly basic human rights, abortion, education, separation of church and state, the environment, immigration, refugees etc....and while I thought the rest of the country had been advancing in a similar fashion, it turns out that the deep amounts of sadness, hate, frustration, fake news and lack of upward mobility has seemingly turned the judgement of people who normally I'm sure, are lovely kind warm hearted people into xenophobic wall loving trumpeters. So here we are. We are one country. We are full gorgeous colored humans who came here with all their flavors, dance moves, work ethic, and individual style all adding to the big beautiful crucible that is this big weird fucked up country. We all have to get along somehow. I will say this however, trump folk, you've got four years, 1300 days.... In that time, me and a vast army of kevlar coated pussies are going to be plotting, planning, scheming and dreaming about how to neutralize your hate and banish the patriarchy, because the time for Testosterone is OVER. Millions of galvanized women from all over this great land are organizing and they won't listen to this "Locker Room Talk," anymore. FUCK THAT.

I keep waking up in the morning and for a brief second everything is fine, the sun has risen the day has begun, and then I REMEMBER. I don't even have words. The only thing i can do is record peoples stories and fears and hopes and pray to gods i don't believe in that everything is going to be ok. I can't sleep. WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

I have a giant black hole growing inside my body and this election has helped it zero percent. No matter what happens, we are divided, the scum of the dark recesses from all over this great nation have crawled out of their bomb shelters holding their semi automatic riffles, embolden by the joker smile of an Orwellian megalomaniac who has allowed bigotry, xenophobia and racism to squirm out of the rug it's been hiding under and we are left holding our dicks in our hands looking like the biggest fucking joke country of all time. It's embarrassing. The time is now, there is no choice but to start to heal ourselves and then our immediate communities with unending amounts of pure love and hope that we can band together once again and try to fix this bleeding broken country. Good luck tonight. May the best woman win.

I was alone day 5 at the burn, walking around looking for trouble and as always, trouble found me. In the form of a wonderfully tweaktastic pro burner who was actively trying to vacuum up playa dust into a vintage Hoover I'm pretty sure Mr. Belvadere owned. It looked simply kooky. It's always these kind of small moments of improv comedy, that bring me back to that insane asylum every year despite my better judgement. His bag would get full every other minute, he would then empty it into a large garbage can and kept plugging away at the worlds most useless task. Looking at him I literally thought perhaps he had been cursed by the Greek Gods, and had been sent to clean the unclean able forever. #Purgatory Anyhow he was a swell firecracker full of stories and laughter and I loved him. Don't forget kids, it's almost my favorite weekend of the year. Zoe's rules for Halloween: 1. Always take candy from strangers 2. Say Yes. 3. Sleep is for quitters. 4. Safety Last HAVE FUN KIDDIES!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE Music: Phantogram: You Don't Get Me High Anymore

Host warning - One of these stories is gross. Really truely stomach curdling gross. However, burning man is GROSS. Don't believe the Instagram filters. It's not all Victoria Secret models in custom feather mohawks and thigh high moon boots. 80 percent of burners are normal artists, west coast hippies, who save all year for the opportunity, old party professionals, astrologers, sex freaks, engineers, lost souls, comedians, shamans, rabble rousers, homeless festival kids, who rely on the kindness and donations of the rest of the community and a whole gaggle of bro burners who heard that burning man is fun and show up with zero clue about how to comport themselves in this martian environment. Really crazy things happen there, every second. Strange things, scary things, wonderful things, sexy things, disgusting things. You can have moments where you get down on your knees and pray to the playa gods to take pity on you for you cannot take any more. Your body cracks, your mind shrivels, your skin splits, and yet you keep going back for more. It's literally like being in a abusive relationship...people can get really hurt. These stories are not for the faint of heart. Here's three examples of some of the people you'll meet randomly in the burning man co system.

It's hard to explain what happens to your brain the first time you see the playa, or the flat deep expanse of land where the art cars roam and spit fire into the sky and the deep dark LED light installations dance beneath the stars. God forbid you thought it was a good idea to eat hallucinogens because it's possible your brain can just give up and walk away in confusion. It's bonkers, bananas, wild, beautiful awe inspiring and has the capability of reducing all your bones to Bisquick batter. Every year it just about blows my mind to little pieces. Anyway every year this is my FAVORITE art car. A big giant mean sci fi all metal octopus that screams fire from every angle. It's loud and big and mean and fucking MESMERIZING. Finally finally finally I was able to get the creator Duane Flatmo, a literal leaving genius to talk to me about how where when and why of his big bad baby. As burning man moves and breathes and changes, one thing will remain constant. There are inventors, scientists and artists holding down the fort and keeping the place honest with big bad tanks of propane and human ingenuity.

So begins another series of burning man episodes. We will tie up loose ends from last years burn as my mother continues her quest down the rabbit hole to find love. We finally spend some time with my big sis Rosalind and watch as she takes off her teacher and parent disguise and leaves it all on the dance floor, We meet new friends and catch up with old foes and continue to answer the question, why in gods green earth would seemingly intelligent people save up money all year, spend months planning every detail.. just so they can spend 7 days in a barren desert wasteland devoid of all the comforts of home? I have been waiting for this moment for years. I finally sat down with the wonderful people from the Fur community and got to learn all about their wonderful intricate and complex world that is like a Russian doll when you start to peel back the fur. Dant's Inferno is a camp for Furries (which was one of 5 Fur camps) built by two super MacGyvers from Vancouver that featured a giant chandelier in the center of the room lit up by 10 fantasy dildos representing every kind of dragon, unicorn, and tentacle dick a furry heart could desire. (Dragon dicks have SCALES!) I really loved these guys. What was the most shocking was that I always assumed that Furries would be extra fugly. I WAS WRONG. These guys were all adorable, lovely cute gay guys that just so happen to like to dress up like big fluffy outfits and jerk off to Dragon butthole...shockingly (NOT) they are mostly from the Bay Area and work in tech and at super successful startups. Life is so great #progress. At least they are inclusive, kind, and compassionate and have a community that's about "radical inclusion" all year round and not just once a week. I only have one main problem with burning man over the years. The fact that more and more camps think it's ok to act like 13 year old mean girls and create an aura of exclusivity and a holier than thou attitude which is the antithesis of the core spirit of Burning Man. I get it. You're hotter, richer, cooler and spent way more of your custom gear than some of the hippie dippie furry armpitted spirit hooded burners, but you don't need to put all these barriers around yourselves to keep them out. As this will most definitely be my last year for a while, I want to thank the burning man god's for protecting my family and I for another year and allowing us to really fall in love with the people we are, not the people we were.

Ladies and gentleman it’s that time of the year again. The time where every single asshole you knows packs up their tutu’s and you can finally stop hearing about burning man...for 1 week. My mother and I will be doing interviews the entire time so expect a ton of fun content upon our return. I took some old interviews that maybe you haven't heard and some brand new ones and packaged them together to make a little mini episode - ENJOY If you’re going you can find us at Mystopia, at 7 and F. See in in the dust bunnies. Love ZOE

I met the marvelous Milana Vayntrub at dawn outside a secret pirate ship party Bushwick in 2009. This day changed my life because this was the day I met her boyfriend at the time Brandon Eaves who looked exactly like a brunette Johnny Bravo, This man would then become my best friend and roommate and inspire me to move to NYC shortly afterwards. So it's safe to say I've always had a big warm spot in my heart for this lil' lady. Since that day I have watched her blossom into a wunderkind trifecta of talents including but not limited to, actress, director, stand up comedian, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. You've probably seen her cherub face a million times but not known it as she's on literally every At$T commercial as a sweet helpful phone salesman or on cult favorite Silicon Vally. As a Russian immigrant herself, when she saw the devastating effects of the Refugee crisis while on vacation in Greece, instead of turning off the television and going to sleep like the rest of us, she flew to Lesbos to help. Can we talk about the expression "Netflix and Chill!?" Why is this something to aspire to??! Get off your tuchus you collective American lazy lima beans. Power down your computers. Jerk off two times less a week. Post less photos. Do something with your time, money and and privilege. No excuses. Her website gives you simple ways that you can help. www.cantdonothing.org twitter: mintmilana THANK YOU MILANA.

Cocaine and Ketamine. At first its a warm blanket that covers your insecurities and warms your empty soul with the confidence you've craved you're entire life but somehow never found.... Then slowly, it eats away at your flesh like white hot maggots destroying everything you've ever known and held dear to your heart. NYC is drenched with drugs. Truly there is no where to run and hide, even at the fanciest parties you can hear the faint sniff of a endless array of models and artists drowning their brains in fresh powder. The things i've seen people use to shovel misc. white powder into their nostrils you cannot imagine. People can be so inventive! Necklace charms, rings, straws, little metal (this is pro) shovels/spoons, keys of every shape, ripped up folded pieces of paper, backs of hands, thumb nails, pen caps...the list goes on and on....If only we as a collective group of 1 percent of rich educated humans could dedicate the same amount of time we spent buying and huffing drugs to quell our restless souls we could literally solve all the worlds problems. I'm about to have another birthday, and I realized with absolute horror that this will mark 10 years of me slaying dance floors around the world. Shit i think this is it, one last hurrah to say goodbye to my youth with my degenerate friends. It was a good long road while it lasted. Time to make babies and move to Connecticut. SIKE

I recently found myself at a upstate "play" party and boy did I learn lot. I still don't get orgies, or "cuddle puddles " (which is a sugarcoated word that describes a place that should be super comfy, and full of teddy ruxbins but instead but reeks of old dick soup and sadness. I literally cannot get away from this fucking fad (HA!I pun) I bet it was fun in the 70s when people had real drugs being carried in briefcases by bad ass Pan AM stewardess and good music and no cellphones but these days where the cocaine smells like nail polish remover (i only smelled i did not inhale) and everyone has a secret stash of valtrex in their bathroom cabinet what's the fucking point. A couple of my main issues: 1. I Hate sharing 2. think that watching other people have sex is absolutely gnarly. No one has a pink porn hairless asshole. The dicks are weird and misshapen, like carrots grown in Chernobyl, and I can't imagine the the V's of swinger chicks could resemble anything other than a Katz's Pastrami sandwich (RIP) the guttural primal noises coming out of peoples mouths literally makes my vagina wither. 3.I also must be the center center of attention at all times and would probably set a bitch on fire that was getting more attention than me form my chosen love partner. HOW DO PEOPLE WATCH THEIR BOYFRIENDS FUCK ANOTHER GIRL. how.? HOW. I would CUT A BITCH. so fast. End up in jail all alone singing johnny cash to myself. I'm getting tired of people telling me that I am not "open" that I couldn't possibly understand who wonderful it is to hold your boyfriends hand and look him in the eyes while you're ramming some strangers foreskin down your tonsils. They're almost like a cult, and they are amazingly good at tricking you into thinking you're missing something from your life, and that you shouldn't be so "rigid" and defined by social norms. I'm sorry but just because i don't want to be a pig on a spit roast for 10 people to feast on of that doesn't mean I am not sexually enlightened. I mean fine, maybe i'm a jewy worry wort who is terrified of STDs and hates the idea of bros who are not buying me dinner and rubbing my toes after a long night of dancing being able to see my ovaries. YOU HAVE TO EARN THAT. Am i prude. Maybe...i've been told i'm all talk. I Met this beautiful Russian girl there and i was thinking fuck it. Why not. I can do this. I could have sex with this gorgeous girl in a fuck pile of other humans....right? WRONG. I swear to you the moment i sort of let her know I was interested she immediately whisked me off to this quiet tree lined yoga place and sat in front of taking my hands in hers and started swaying, like someone who was speaking in tongues at one of those cray town bible thumpy places telling me to "relax" in a super thick russian accent which literally made me the MOST NERVOUS. She came behind me and wrapped her tiny limbs around me around me like a koala bear monkey but it felt honestly so odd to have a small person hold me from behind...suffice it to say, I didn't get any pussy. So anyway on the way home from this weekend I interviewed a friend of mine who would like to remain anonymous who is well versed with these "play" community.She cracks me up. She's so young and hot and innocent sort or while living inside the body of a full grown fucking woman. I never had big boobs so I can't imagine it's easy to be a little girl in a grown ups body. I think it's fucked up that swingers have coopted the word "Play" and now anytime I hear something that used to remind me of playgrounds, and recess and hopscotch and riding bikes to get ice cream I now associate with 45 year old white furried bellied investment bankers and CEO's and their 22 year old Russian blow up doll girlfriends with their puffy pouty lips and slightly Asiatic eyes and a penchant for glaring around the room without making eye contact with other females.

This is one of the hardest podcast's i've ever made public. But the truth is that I have really gone through a transformative process recently. Someone took a flame thrower to my body and reduced me a bunch of glittery ashes and it's taken me just a second to million dollar man myself back into existence. So, in the face of me having everything, I was afraid. Deep cold fear invaded my body and had to work desperately hard to dethaw my bones so I could go forth and continue to create the life I have been manifesting for a decade. It’s so easy in the instagram era to want to hide behind filters, To smooth over lifes wrinkles, to cover up your insecurities. #killingit it's all total bullshit. I never knew what the fear of failure would feel like because I was never concerned with success. So for a short while anytime I would stand up it would feel like my bones were made of bisquick batter and I would crumble back into my bed. So where does that leave me. It's taken months of talking to my mother, of holding my dogs really tight, of laughing with friends and doing meaningful work, to re light the fire that's inside my demon belly. But I did it. I have cast off the shackles of self doubt and insecurity and am ready to face the fire. Well. For now. Wish me luck. Shit's gonna get super intense soon kiddos. I've donned a full yellow rubber outfit and hat like that guy on the gordon's fisherman box to prepare.

I met an amazing man, (if memory serves me correctly) in 2008. I was a two dimensional professional partier who spent my youth traveling the world and chasing the wonderful white rabbit that is the world of electronic music scene. The literal only good thing that came out of this amorphous murky period of my life was some amazing friends and memories. Today I bring you the one and only Damien Lazarus a pillar of the underground music scene. Truly one of the most original, charismatic way finders i've ever met. Once again please excuse the sound quality in this episode. I had just come back from a three day upstate party interviewing a "play" community (swingers) and I was sleepy from trying not to slip and fall into a fuck pile of humans and end up pregnant with the antichrist. I gotta tell you, these play people may be onto something. They are so freaking happy. Either way I was beyond sleepy. So I stuck the microphone under him and then lay back and drank rose..which obviously does not make for my best work and afterwards I had to muck with the levels so you could even hear me so suffice it to say, I am the least pro journalist of all actual time. ANYWAY I've been trying to interview this man for literally years because he is a beacon of light and truth in this dark scary world full of posers. I love him because he has found a way to live deep in the underbelly of the underground techno music scene for years, but yet has a really healthy second life, on a Tuscan Farm with his beautiful wife and brand new baby daughter. It gives me hope that the rest of us degenerate heathens can find our way to the promised land. So I'm sure this isn't the normal stuff you would imagine the wizard of techno to be talking about but honestly he is at his core a big fucking soft teddy bear who has KILLED LIFE. He's partied harder probably than anyone you know, and he hasn't aged a day since i've met him. I can't wait to meet his beautiful new daughter and frolic through his wine vineyard and meet shonky and wonky he's new donkey's. Please check out all of Damians music and upcoming events www.damianlazurus.com He's new album with the Ancient Moons is so fucking cool and weird and trip. Music: Stevie Wonder Isn't She Lovely Damian Lazarus and the Ancient Moons - Tangled Web

I recently went to a dead concert in NYC specifically to meet old school dead heads with endless stories of life following the dead but instead I kept meeting homeless kids. This ones name was Solar, and he's 16 years old. He was orphaned at 8 and abandoned to fend for himself against the world. Because he was born on a "hippie bus" still unclear what that is, he has no documentation or records so he's literally invisible to the system. He has nothing. Literally except the giant pin stripe suit on his back that was ripped and tattered but he was still so beautiful. Huge crystal clear blue eyes, glowing skin, with ragged and cracked white teeth underneath a huge smile. His hands were beat up and cut up and covered in a thick black tar like paste that seemed like it could never wash off. Pretty sure he had track marks on his arm but he kept trying to convince me they were ant bites. He was beautiful inside and out. He's eyes broke my heart but his spirit was unwavering. He was happy and grateful and ready for his next adventure. He looks just like my nephews.

I met a hilarious, gregarious young African American mother of 2 little gorgeous babies named Reckless, whose main goal in life was to not die because she was black and be able to raise her children without fear. Growing up the color of printer paper in Washington DC, a city that was 95 percent black I have always been acutely aware the differences that my skin afforded me most obviously being my total lack of fear surrounding the Police. I have always, without question, talked back to cops. I've been arrested for "assaulting" a police officer...twice. I recently went to go see a play about the life of Dick Gregory a Brilliant comic who paved the way for Richard Pryor and was instrumental player in the Civil Rights movement. This play reduced me to a puddle of ashes and tears for it made you turn around and stare at the Sodom and Gomorrah like world that was the African American experience in America. His bravery was limitless. He would go from one red neck racist comedy club in the south to the next, where the Klu Klux Klan would routinely pay him visits, spreading his brilliant comedy like wildfire throughout the country eventually knocking down the pillars that separated Black artists from being able to be shown on television and seen as artist who demanded the white worlds respect. The amount of hate that is swirling around the world right now is filling my lungs with cement and crushing the butterflies that usually live in my tummy. The hate grows and grows, the body count exponentially increases, while two jack asses hammer it out for president who will probably do nothing to change the gun laws that are allowing people to be mowed down like an overgrown lawns. What are we going to do to actually change this dying planet. I don't have answers. I'm searching desperately. If you have some, please, message me. https://www.gofundme.com/PulseVictimsFund http://www.thecenterorlando.org Edited by Emily Brodtman (I LOVE YOU) Music: Get Money: Biggie Dreams Money Can Buy: Drake

I love Hare Krishnas. They're like little orange Pokemon and I want to catch them all. Of all the Cool Aids religious zealots have tried to serve me, it's the one I always feel like I could drink. As I continue my quest to figure out what I think about God I keep bumping up against these guys, mostly because they're all over NYC and so bloody loud with their cow bells and shouting. So here we have Zoe Vs. Hare Krishna's round two. In the end, I love their commitment to peace, veganism and kindness, but they also do come off as used car salesman in fanta colored pashminas after a while trying to shove their totally one sided views about how to live your life. Either way, they always leave me reflective about would I be happier if I had someone like Krishna on my side.

As always i've been wondering around NYC asking strangers how they feel about sex, monogamy, social media and this ever present sense of "I". I found this gorgeous man, full of charisma and charm willing to talk to me about how he feels. Hope you're enjoying the sun everyone.

This Memorial Day weekend I was an exceptional place called Members Only Camp Out, a full on music dancing orgy with the most professional partiers Brooklyn has to offer. Sometimes I feel like these people were put into those two test tube from the Movie the "FLY" and they were in one tube and records, sunglasses ketamine, prayer beads, tattoos, and the words "Tulum, Burning Man and Ayahuasca" in the other and then through SCIENCE they were genetically fused into one creature with superhero powers to stay up for days on end dancing and chatting and laughing and having a wonderfully positive attitude toward life, (and randomly loosing pieces of their nose) My kinda people. However it was a fucking blast. Held on a old kids camp grounds on a lake full of trees and frogs and stars and bon fires I was a happy camper. ANYWAY while I was there I met this amazing guy and when you looked at him all I could think of was the song..."one of these things is not like the other..." because he was just rough and hood as fuck albeit really really handsome. He danced like a drunk lemur (kind of like that weird 90's low ninja dancing?) and had a red light in his mouth, and his tattoos weren't of Escher stairs, they were of prison style Americana so I knew he wasn't one of our bushwick party crew. Warning, he also uses racial slang in this episode that that I certainly would never use, but this is his story... Remember don't do drugs kids, they're very very bad. BUT if you're going to do them, make sure you have big green trees and a good sound system, hot girlfriends you can watch dance and someone to discuss politics with cuz then, then it's super duper fun. THANK YOU MEMBERS ONLY. I LOVED IT. HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY EVERYONE

A couple months ago I called an Uberpool to take me to work....and when I opened up the door, who was sitting snug as a bug in a rug? A real life curly q Heimish! Now, even though I live with and see them almost every day, it's like we are living in two separate universes. They usually seem to look right through me, and refuse to smile, nod, wave, or make casual conversation at the post office, grocery store, the M train whenever our paths may cross... So I enlisted my dear friend Zev who actually was raised in an Orthodox Jewish community to help me understand better the claims this wonderfully nice man made to me that rainy day, namely, no one who leaves the cult of the Orthodox could be happy. I called him one day while he was driving up to Dream land, the promise land he's building for himself, a lakeside community he's creating with all his amazing friends, sitting next to his gorgeous blonde 24 year old european girlfriend who has a smile that could knock the keepah right off your head....to ask him for and insiders perspective behind the iron Tallit. As always I am so grateful to Zev for allowing me into his brain to understand the world in which he comes from. Because regardless that we've pretty much forsaken the god from which we came from, we are happy. So take that miscellaneous Hasidic guy. You can follow me on twitter @genuinelyfalse instagram @drznightingale snapchat @djkillinit website www.zoenightingale.com

I have known and loved Zev Eisenberg, half of Brooklyn's infamous Wolf and Lamb music duo for almost a decade. Zev is simply one of the coolest mother fuckers I have ever met. He has the best b.s detector of anyone I know, and is always the first to call me out whenever I do or say something stupid (which is often) I wanted to share his story because I think his journey is of IMMENSE value to anyone who is going through intense sickness or helping someone they love get well. The fact is that while modern medicine has afforded us incredible achievements in the battle against cancer and disease, it is not the only way that one can heal. If you or someone you love is going through this, I would highly recommend seeking out second opinions before you dive head first into the never ending abyss that is western way of dealing with illness. His story is also of great value to me, because today is the first day of my super hardcore very bad no good month long detox cleanse for I too have not been so well. Like any good Brooklynite, I hired a woman who looks like Tinkerbell and has a ultra hyphonated made up hippie name like she was raised by two lesbian art critics....to help me get my life back. So I'm sorry that I haven't been around my dear loyal and loving listeners. I promise I will be back to my fighting weight in no time. Wish me luck. I'll let you all know what life without meat, dairy, fun, sugar, gluten, drugs and booze is like in a month. LOVE Z Music: Don't Break It -Zev Eisenberg Last Night a DJ Saved My Life - Indeep Edited by: Emily Brodtman Thank you again to the WHOLE Wolf + Lamb Crew Love family for letting me do my live show in your amazing new Marcy North Hotel. SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU

Warning - This episode probably won't be funny to anyone other than my sister but as it's almost my father's birhtday I thought I would honor him by letting him listen to just how rediculous he is. Our relationship has always been a battle. Even though after 30 years I KNOW that trying to win an argument is akin to screaming at the wind for blowing, I can't help myself. When I was little and I would tell him something hurt, no matter what the level of severity from head ache to broken wrist he would always retort the same thing, "would you like me to take a hammer to your big toe, then X will hurt less..." We are the literal embodiment of my second favorite Dr. Suess Story, about the North Going Zax and the South going Zax from the prairie of prax who argue about nothing forever while the world forgets them. So over Passover I a wonderful time with my family and as he was helping me do some errands we got into this inane disagreement about his driving. Let me preface this by saying that I use the word "driving," loosely. My father acts as though he's in a formula one race car and were on our way to the hospital for a life or death heart transplant. He disagrees. He sees his driving as a perfect symphony of masculine knowledge and skill, and it should be up to him which of the rules of the road he obeys because other people have less skill and less abilities. I Disagree with that, and so the serpent eats his tail forever...i really don't know why I don't just shut up and just pray to Dionysis for protection. Either way, this is an absolutely perfect example of one of our arguments. I bring up a factual thing independent of our relationship and somehow it always goes back to the fact that it's really my problem and indicative of a life that will be spent inside a shoe surrounded by cats. I leave you with the wise words of Dr. Suess my hero: The day before today,One day, making tracks In the prairie of Prax, Came a North-Going Zax And a South-Going Zax. And it happened that both of them came to a place Where they bumped. There they stood. Foot to foot. Face to face. “Look here, now!” the North-Going Zax said, “I say! You are blocking my path. You are right in my way. I’m a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!” “Who’s in whose way?” snapped the South-Going Zax. “I always go south, making south-going tracks. So you’re in MY way! And I ask you to move And let me go south in my south-going groove.” Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride. “I never,” he said, “take a step to one side. And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!” “And I’ll prove to YOU,” yelled the South-Going Zax, “That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School. Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least! Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east! I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!” Well… Of course the world didn’t stand still. The world grew. In a couple of years, the new highway came through And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

Japan has left me full of wonder from the past and equally obsessively concerned with the present and future. I feel like i'm trapped inside a Baraka video. Everywhere I go streams and droves of ant like humans, half of them covered in scary medical face masks stream over and around me like i'm a stick in the way of their march through the forrest, the sea of faces parts and I feel like i'm somehow stationary in this human/technological charybdis where a zillion crazy asian sounds and mega giant screens fill my head with subliminal advertisements and then my throat gets itchy and all I can think is wouldn't it be nice to have a cold icy Coca Cola and then go to shopping. It's this bizarre molotov cocktail of having a people who are so delightfully homogenous to the point where NO ONE locks their bikes and there's NO trash cans because people take care of their own trash and strangers stop instantly to help you any time you look remotely lost or confused, a people who routinely wear Hannibal Lecter type face masks for weeks if they are sick to reduce the risk to their fellow countrymen...I fell asleep on the train with my laptop/cellphone/wallet literally next to me in plain view and what happened? NOTHING! Because even their mafia the Yakuza, pays taxes and has an honor system. Then add to this crock pot a tablespoon school girl fetish, a dollop pokemon porn with a cup of Hentai/Manga and a dash of rape fantasies and top it all off with an anglo saxon feature worship that's so omnipresent that I never see asian faces advertising anything and there are thousands of photo booths that help girls do instant airbrushing on their face so they can have rounder more western eyes, lighter skin and smaller noses. This is also a culture who is so addicted to their virtual lives that barely anyone is reproducing and the population of Japan in the next 20 years will be reduced by 2o percent due to the lowest birthright in the solar system because let's face it, who want to go through the struggle of trying to insert your genitals into another actual breathing human when you can sit at home and jerk off to a perfect anime creature who will love you for you? I get it. However, it's been exceptionally difficult to get any answers because very few people speak english and even if they do, it's almost impossible to get substantive answers about basically anything. It's all politeness, all surface, lots of bowing and kindness...which makes for extra medium story telling. However the good news is I've become friends with some beautiful dark African men with brilliant smiles have set up shop and are doing all kinds of brilliant entrepreneurial work here AND as always, red cheeked women from all over the world who work in the sex industry. Either way, i'll keep trying. I begin with my first episode from here, recorded after we had hiked up a mountain in Kyoto where was this hidden monkey park, but google had lied to us, and we ran into a lovely Chinese couple that was similarly following technology into no where and I as we walked down the mountain I talked to him a little bit about his life. My findings? Devastating. Again I know that I shouldn't place one animal above the other, that all animals have little tiny noses and feelings and personalities and as I've basically stopped eating meat entirely I shouldn't get on a soap box for one and not all but this story made me particularly want to kill myself and wipe out the rest of humanity so nature could take a billion years to recover herself and perhaps create a more thoughtful, and kind sentient being to live harmoniously with her glory.

Michael Alig, the beautiful party promoter who took took over NYC's party scene in the 90's has been released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster (Staring Seth Green and McCauley Caulkin) was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshippers called the "Club Kids." Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. . As someone who itimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes happens with only a very brilliant, visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a monster, he was God, for years. Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. Well he's back, and we've been spending time together. He's been out of prison for two years he's off drugs, and ready to find way to pick up the humpty dumpty pieces of his life and try to hot glue them back together again but shockingly that hasn't been easy.... He was gracious enough to let me into his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like. We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares. I realized what I was trying to do in speaking to him was take an issue that seemed black and white and show the prism of colors that surrounded it. Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects. We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees. The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you’re absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself? I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness. Thank you Michael for sharing your story with me. Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind: From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened? Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg. Thank you to Jordan Reisman my trusty sound engineer Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together. Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done Go to www.adamandevetoys.com and put in my name "Zoe" to get discounts and free shipping on any of their online store. You can help me live my dream of doing this full time, every time you come.

I've been around the proverbial block and I have never, ever heard of some of the crazy drug combinations Michael Alig and his friends used to do. I mean like bat shit insane. Here's just a mini tini example of the kind of crack heads they were. Makes my past look like the Sound of Music. So I think him for that.

Lets get some background on our upcoming interviewee, the one and only Michael Alig. Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. . He created a movement that swept over the nation like a virtual pied piper calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshippers. As someone who itimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creativity this takes is a once and a lifetime human. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE was god. For years. And then he fell, like icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. He's back. Part 3 is up tomorrow.

So I will admit to you all that I have been struggling. I have created and destroyed about 4 different versions of my interactions with Michael Alig. I am struggling because this is a story that could be told a million ways, and I ultimately am left trapped by the enormity of it. I have been talking to Michael, pretty much every day, about his past, present and future for a month, and one of my main problems is that we have a similar kind of dark humor that ends up feeling really icky when the context of his crime is constantly hovering like his personal albatross. White, huge, it's wingspan covers my eyes and plugs my ears and I cannot see my way around it. So i cut, and i re insert and i sit and I stare at the window and I wonder about what forgiveness means as a society. According to our Judicial system he is a man absolved. He has done his time, he has been rehabilitated and the rest of us should view him as such. But he is a man marked, forever by his past and I've had a hard time climbing out from under the weight of his crime. Does one crime overshadow all the good in your life? How long should someone be held accountable for a crime committed in your drug soaked youth? More importantly is the question, how do you forgive yourself? How does one sleep at night when you've done a great wrong does it get duller every day...? After 20 years how deeply does this crime still affect him? So i continue to work on this episode, and it hopefully will be done tonight, but here's a conversation I had with my mother after the live show about it. Sorry for the delay as always I'm doing my best, which is never enough. love, Zoe

Ok so I voluntarily jumped off a cliff into the never-ending rabbit hole that is the Iraeli/Palestinian Conflict. Fun! Let me apologize ahead of time for the sound on this one, blame alcohol as always and not setting up microphones in a stationary way. So first up, the Israeli soldier I fell for when I was forced to go on birthright by my mother about 5 years ago. When he walked into the charter bus a bunch of chomosomally challenged Jewish Americans and I were sharing I left a actual puddle on the seat. You should have seen his giant gun and uniform! Unreal. For a girl who grew up with men that couldn't connect a V.C.R, this was really a novel sight. He was part of the Sheldags, a hyper elite squadron that was in charge of the most difficult secret sniper missions. He trained for years, was tortured and tested by his leaders to make sure he could have handled capture or torture from the other side. He was the toughest boy I had ever met. He was 21 at the time, but he wore the weight of the whole world on this hunched shoulders. When I left he gave me his pin, a parachute with wings, which was apparently like the highest form of compliment i could have gotten from him. I still have it. I stayed in Israel afterwards in this little hut on his Kibbutz picking avocados and passion fruit from trees, learning how to milk cows and plant tomatoes...chain smoking cigarettes and downing thick dark bottled ales. He was an amazing guitarist, but unfortunately obsessed with Dave Matthews, so he'd play crash into me (HATE that song) and we would sit in grass and peel fruit and watch shooting stars and discuss politics in his medium english. The good news was we always had a way of understand one another. I feel in love with him, his country, his pride, and his entire way of life. Ive always kept in touch with him and thought he's be the perfect person to shed some light on this on going mess. What have I learned...? That I still love Israel. That I don't agree with sanctions, that I don't believe that anyone should be forced form their home and made to live like an outsider, that is FUCKING COMPLEX, that I hate that people make you choose, that it's this seemingly black or white equation when it's really a prism of a 100 fucked up shades of silence and despair and fear and hope and death and perseverance. That I love human resilience, that I am in awe of the fabric we have woven together as a jewish people and how amazing it is that a tiny itty bitty military complex could ward off every surrounding land that is it's actual enemy. That I think that Palestinians should have representations and a place to call their own home. Mostly though, that everyone is wrong, and everyone is right and it makes no difference because people are starving and dying and life is brutally unfair . Edited by Katherine Ray Mondo & Emily Brodtman

Jeepers Creepers Kathy Jane is gonna hop aboard the angry train after this one. Sorry mom. For the millionth time. My B. All systems point to this is your fault somehow. So this is a quick mini episode to tide you over under my 2nd iteration of my live show this time on March 11th from 8/10 pm EST. It will be broadcast live from the Marcy Hotel North which is a legendary underground Brooklyn party ware house that houses the whole Wolf and Lamb (Crew Love) posse. I had some of my very best youth filled nights of debauchery and chaos in their squash court lined walls. This very special episode will focus on what happens when the party is over...How do you rebuild your life from the ground up after trauma, sickness or incarceration? First up Michael Alig - the original party monster, creator of "club kids" when Limelight wasn't a shopping mall. He has just been released from jail after 17 years in max security prison for brutally killing and dismembering his friend and roommate, Angel. Second - Zev Eisenberg, creator of Wolf and Lamb, underground Brooklyn Party superstar, international DJ and producer who has used food and lifestyle changes to survive cancer. I am so nervous. Wish me luck. I just had a beautiful Brittish girl rub my whole body in coconut oil and align my chakras to combat my nerves. Life is GOOD. Just wanted to remind you all that if you put "ZOE" into the discount box at www.adamandeve.com you will get 10 free legit gifts with any purchase, discounts, and free shipping. It comes with so many fun games and toys and oils and vibrators...you don't even need a partner to enjoy it...trust me! Anything you buy here helps convince them I'm worthwhile to sponsor and helps me shake more shekels out of them in the future when we renegotiate my contract so..be a pal...and buy yourself a large strap on...because you won't just be helping yourself...you'll be helping a young (ish) woman's dream stay alive I LOVE YOU MOM!!!! You're my best friend. Embarrassed face emoticon. Music: Would I Lie To You - Annie Lennox Your MY best friend - Queen Follow me! Review me! Rate me! Love me! Tweet Me! Facebook me. Um...periscope me...ooh that sounds DIRTY

A couple rainy days ago I called an Uberpool to take me to work, I opened up the door, and who was sitting snug as a bug in a rug? A real life curly q Heimish! Now, even though I live with and see them almost every day, it's almost like we are living in two separate universes. They usually seem to look right through me, and almost never smile, nod, wave, or make casual conversation at the post office, grocery store, the M train whenever our paths my cross. I once was sent to live with a Hasidic family when I was 12, it left a vicious mark on my memory. It was like stepping into a time portal into the literal past, no electronics, no books, no color, all business. They had 12 children, I slept in the room with the littlest one was was 3 who had hair to his shoulders and I kept confusing him for a girl which made me super unpopular with the rest of the house especially the Mother who basically took all my clothes the first day and threw them out replacing them with drab cement colored wool numbers that erased any body silhouette and left you looking like a cylinder block. ANYWAY I've been thinking a lot about happiness, community, religion and my own personal relationship with the culture and beliefs on which I was raised. As I continue to force myself to mature, I'm trying to lay to rest my childish anger towards the sadness and judgement I felt coming from my fathers very religious parents who consistently would tell me things like "You'll never understand our sacrifice or the true meaning of family..." and were consistently disgusted by my appearance, clothing, and zest for exploration outside what I felt to be prison like walls Judism erected around sexuality, freedom and choice. I used to argue with her, for hours, about the existence of God. I never believed and because of that, she thought I was a disrespectful spoiled Americanized disgrace. One of the last things she ever told me before erasing me from her will and life (when I was 14) was that I would never understand what love meant. The thing is, I've always been able to feel her blood running through my veins and guiding me through life especially when I was first building my business. She was a Gorgeous brilliant and unstoppable Entrepreneur. The mastermind behind the huge businesses that my family built from scratch out of nothing. She came to Pittsburgh via Poland in the beginning of the 20th century as one of 8 siblings with a couple gold watches and acted like she was a incensed Spanish bull and the whole world was red. While she made me miserable, and deeply envious of my friends who had smiling grandparents who baked cookies and taught them how to ride bikes etc, I always was secretly proud of her calculator brain and razor sharp wit. I hope that if she could see me now she would feel the same for me....but either way, I'm going to try to delve deeper into my history and find some peace within it's mangrove roots. Because regardless, it is who I am, there's no use running from it or yelling at people who believe in it. Going to try to embrace it and move on.

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time - robin williams Good golly miss Molly I feel in love with this woman. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. I mean I spent most of the interview mesmerized by her face and her perfect round belly (SUPER preggo) I would never let my boyfriend's penis anywhere near this soon to be MILF. I could go on forever about how lovely it is to see a sex positive Iranian immigrant create a empire out of dick picks. You just can't make this stuff up. She gave me a ton of free swag, a t-shirt with a little trump dick, fridge magnets, and my FAVORITE the gift wrapping paper. I'm going to buy anything and everything she makes. Thank you for inviting me into your home and allowing me to bask in your glow. Check out all her work at http://www.dicturegallery.com Follow her on twitter&Insta @dickturegallery Check out ALL my work www.zoenightingale.com Follow me @genuinelyfalse (twitter) @drznightingale (insta)

My favorite tango dancing heart surgeon is back and more anxious than ever. He's landed a TV show where hell be traversing the states talking to Americans about our beloved democracy. He's eyes are bright and sad, he seems worried and sleepy because he's been hustling and rebuilding his career one interview at a time. Good luck Bassem! I'll be here every couple months to check in on your impending success. Music: Coming to America (Soundtrack) God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood Edited by Violet Ikonomova

Bonus track from my live show last week that has been helping me personally deal with how to look at the loss of love. My friend Anthony is an expert in love and matters of the heart, and had consoled me many times in my life where it had become impossible to pry my heart broken body off my shag rug when my bones had liquefied into powder and I became a puddle of human on the floor. I have spent my life chasing giggles and avoiding pain. I leave it I hide from it, I douse it in alcohol or try to smoke different plants to make it fuzzy. But there comes a point where this hide and seek you're playing with life's obstacles leaves you an empty robot shell you barely recognize and you have to strip it all back and look in the mirror and face it. It is a process. To anyone in love, losing love, devestated by love, and despairing that they will never recover... Check out Anthony's Love Card game he created. It's so dope. Guaranteed to help you and your partner fall deeper in love or for newly dating couples to get to know each other WAY better. www.playthelovegame.com Music: In the Name of Love Thompson Twins

MY FIRST LIVE SHOW! I will explain more about this later, but my head is killing me and I have to go to a David Bowie dance party with my mom so brb ! Music by Love Hangover: Diana Ross What Is Love: Deelite Can't Buy Love: Aquarius Heaven

You know, it takes alot of confidence to strut around with ya junk and ya trunk out walking around a city with some of the most hot to trot lads and lasses in all the lands. Where do they find the time I always wonder as the breeze from their slickly coiffed pony tail whips by my face, the faint glow of their perfectly coordinated neon outfit leaving acid like trails in my eyes. Even when I do put down the bloody mary's and go to the gym IF I can find a sports bra, non thigh high socks AND a hair tie that didn't come off a banana, I consider it a feat akin to stealing fire from the gods. Perhaps these uber manicured people don't have four jobs and an elderly dog that walks about as fast as a sea turtle defiantly crawling up a sand dune to lay it's eggs. It is also possible that they don't have a gaggle of oscar worthy actresses as bff's having Fukashima style life meltdowns every other day.... ..Because somehow, everyone is buff and on their 12th day of a cleanse that consists of a combination of sheer determination, a murder forgiving level of insanity and cold pressed, gluten free, sugar free, kosher, vegan rabbit pellets. OR they're all on enough adderall to power all the vibrators of all the housewives in the mid west... I DON'T KNOW how people do it. What was my point again? OH YES. No pants Subway ride. Put on every year by the wonderful mischief makers at Improv Everywhere Now, I like my tuchus, it's warm and friendly and easy to talk too... BUT I am NOT an instagram girl with a instant Miami toe, and practiced selfie pout, who likes to be naked in public. I get really nervous, anytime I have to put out or get it high school style, I'm all talk. I don't like being anything close to in my under roos around strangers. It also does not help that I've gained a soaking wet pre schooler in weight this year and yet despite that I live in a hamster cage sized apartment with less closet space than John Malcovich's head, I still have a LARGE section of clothes in my closet I refer to lovingly as "the way we were...." or "yeah right," for short. I can't decide whether it's my cheap Jewey Lewis and the News mentality of never throwing anything out that doesn't have mice actively living inside of it OR my Ozymandias like insistence that once day I'll have Bridget Jones Moment where I throw all my sins in a garbage bin and obsessively go to soul cycle classes whatever the hell that is, and finally fit into my club gear from 09'. Sadly, I've finally come to the conclusion that unless I actually amputate a leg or ALL my ribs disappear magically, this is not going to happen. So I guess I wanted to do this event because I thought it would be good practice for me to walk out with my cock out in New York Fucking City and....It was just wonderful. So what is the point? I walked around pretty much naked and black guys said i had that "Coco." This is apparently a good thing. Hurray! Until Valentines day you can put my name into Adamandevetoys.com 's discount box and they'll give you 50% off anything in their online store, ship it to you for free and there will be a Zoe approved gift bag containing a vibrator, a special gift for him AND a mystery adult DVD yes yes i know they still make those!!

I GOT A SPONSOR!!! Whoo hooooooooo!!! Finally. Who better then the lovely people behind Adam and Eve Toys! Until Valentines Day you can enter my name "ZOE" into the check out box at www.adamandeve.com and you'll get 50 percent off whatever dastardly object your foul little mind can think up! YOU'RE WELCOME!! Also they'll ship it for free and it comes with a Zoe approved bag including but not limited a vibrator, a "special" gift for him and a mystery DVD!! I swear, those are still a thing! So dust off your DVD players, turn up the Barry White and get to town. I need ALL of you to do this so they know my listeners are perverts who will buy their wares and they'll keep sponsoring me and I can keep making podcasts HUZZAH! sidenote. I did not make the god aweful imagine obvi, they did.

It's been 6 whole months since my episode debuted on Love & Radio, Nick Van Der Kolk and Brenden Baker's incredible, inspiring Podcast. I had been trying to become a guest reporter for them and make less hardcore, more substantive stories for them when they called me and said you have three hours to get your life together, we're taking three of your old episodes and they're premiering today. I didn't have a functioning website, I didn't have twitter. I wasn't prepared for the overflowing of love and hate I would get almost instantaneously from their rabid fans. For the first time ever, I had people listening to me, and my sisyphus like task seemed more realistic. Suffice it to say, I am not their usual kind of story teller. I don't use wind chimes, I am not precious, and I consistently use words that make people spit up their coffee. I was so honored and delighted to be included in their amazing roster of gorgeous stories, (and quite frankly shocked). Either way, this is the episode they made by squishing three interviews I made in the infancy of my podcast's life. THANK YOU NICK AND BRENDEN I OWE YOU FOREVER. Eternally grateful. Check out all their stuff at http://loveandradio.org/

If I had a dollar for everytime someone who loved god told me he wished I had never been born I would be diving in Scrooge Mc Duck style vaults of gold coins, and doing back strokes through rubies. I don't know why I do it. Why do I always want to talk to men standing on bible soapboxes? So there I was minding my own business on an epic date to see the best musical of all actual time, Hamilton, with my favorite person ever Navin. He is a gorgeous caramel colored Indian man, which obviously angered our lord and savior because out of nowhere this very angry man was yelling that particular blend of hypocritical diametrically opposed hooey of love and hate that ONLY religious zealots can master. Why do I always stop? What is actually wrong with me? I can't help it. They are my meth, the flame to my moth antennae, and I cannot keep away from their glittery hot white light. I just want once, just once to have an articulate conversation with someone about Jesus. I Challenge you internet universe, to send me someone with heart and wit who I can talk to me about why the laws of science don't apply to them, why it's ok to preach love and acceptance but marginalize those who are different and vilify woman for stepping out of the June Cleaver box they'd like to put all our Vaj's in. Come on. One intelligent debate. It must be possible. Until then, pray for my cursed soul and maybe send me some new shoes? Honestly, because if my soles look more valuable than my soul, my soul IS SO SO CHEAP, flat and used.

As I watch those around me voluntarily march down the road most travelled, my feelings towards marriage and procreation have not changed. I avoid them like the bubonic plague. I know that there are many wonderfully happy couples who have found ways to use the foundation you build with another human to grow and learn etc....but I definitely would rather have sex with a chainsaw....to put it more kindly, it just simply isn't my brew of macha. I know I run the risk of actually becoming a discount bin version of Sarah Jessica Parker, wistfully waxing poetically about the wonders of being a single gal in New York City, except I am aware that she only made it look cool because she had 40,000 in heels and a sexy rent controlled one bedroom in a brown stone and I still live in a tiny crumbly apt with two other people while simultaneously wearing the same style of flat Steve Madden suede knee high boots I first got in 7th grade.. no savings, no investments, no property, no children, no foundational anything....I wonder is getting married the only way for me to actually grow up and create an infrastructure for a meaningful life for my older years? I spent my life building my business and collecting beautiful humans....cultivating what I thought would be life-long friendships with charismatic hooligans who I poured all my love and energy into but one by one they are vanishing like the Truffla Trees, leaving me, the sad little Lorax standing on the last stump wondering why a S'need is something that everyone needs. I'm rambling but seriously, my best friend from college had a baby today. TODAY. I am a god mother. Hell hath frozen right over. Things are changing, now I can't get Stevie Nicks lyrics in Landslide out of my head these days... "I've been afraid of changing, because I built my life around you. Time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too." Anyway wish me luck, I want to make my mom happy, so it looks like I'm going to have to suck it up, and join the parade and say yes to some dress.....Well maybe a peacock colored mardi gras dress that's designed by a drag queen but I think at this point my mom will take what she can get. If you know ANYONE that should go on a date with my amazing mother please send all relevant info to my email [email protected]. That's her on her wedding day Love love love Z Edited by: Jordan Reisman White Wedding: Billy Idol Chapel of Love: The Shirelles

Drug addiction has affected my life since I was a wee lass and ever since I can remember I have always been a glowing lamp post attracting a cornucopia of moth like addicts who represent the full spectrum of human sadness. It's rare that I post serious interviews like this, and I have done tons in the past, because to me, they simply aren't funny. However I am posting this now because I hope to show people like him that their lives are worth fighting for even if the path they have taken is full of crazy straw twists and turns. I met him on Christmas day and I instantly found his quiet honesty immensely likable and he also was one of the best first time Charade players I have ever seen. This is a very small segment of what was a very long interview, but I'm pretty sure he was jacked out of his mind and he kept bobbing and weaving like cassius clay around his life details and it was hard to keep a flow going so this is the beginning of what I hope will be many interviews that i'll do in the future because he has just had the most wonderfully rich life. You never really know who listens to your podcast, but I want to say if anyone out there is dealing with life's capriciousness with copious amounts of substances or has someone in their life they feel is in trouble and needs a friend (someone to talk to, off the record of course) i'm here send them my way. “The face of "evil" is always the face of total need. A dope fiend is a man in total need of dope. Beyond a certain frequency need knows absolutely no limit or control. In the words of total need: "Wouldn't you?" Yes you would. You would lie, cheat, inform on your friends, steal, do anything to satisfy total need. Because you would be in a state of total sickness, total possession, and not in a position to act in any other way. Dope fiends are sick people who cannot act other than they do. A rabid dog cannot choose but bite.” - William S. Burroughs

Directly after burning man, I found myself visiting my friend Princess Donna at the San Francisco Armory which is the gigantic mega massive terrifying Moorish Castle built in 1912 to hold arms for the U.S. National Guard. This Castle was turned into the home for the world's largest Kink and fetish website Kink.com (mostly extreme bondage and non consent fantasies) in 2006 and now serves the world up with piping hot servings of the literal filthiest devious most insane porn you're fucked up brain could ever dream up. There's a Four Chan saying that if you can think of it, it exists in the porn world and let me tell you that this place is like Mecca for innovative ways to push the boundaries of what I personally am comfortable with. I am not one to judge, ever what turns people on or how they want to consensually get their rocks off. But I must say, that I left this shoot needing a super hot shower and a lot of snuggles. It's hard for me to know what I think about rape fantasy culture, and hardcore pain/humiliation porn and whether it propagates a culture of sexual violence against women and what it actually means for the future of our sexual fabric as a society. Either way, it was a really cool thing to see and do just from a Jane Goodall platform in a tree far away from the throbbing mob of humans shouting for the anal destruction of these nice young women. As always I called my parents before and after I went there for moral grounding. All my dad cared about was what food and supplements the male porn stars use to keep hard. I mean...sometimes I wonder what is actually wrong with my family. NSFW. to the max. Love, Zoe

What can I even say, he is my hero. A brilliant, soft spoken, lightening rod who used his comedic genius to stand up to his government and military and effect real actual change. A man whose beliefs lead him to be exiled from his home, and forced to uproot his life and family to the US. He is perfectly set up to be a uniting force and a white light of knowledge in the US during these incredibly scary times where hate and xenophobia has people frothing at the mouth like rabid racoons. I feel lucky and honored to call myself his friend and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for him. Get ready all you ignorant fucks who want to close our borders and brew hatred in a country that was founded to protect our prism of differences. I am ashamed and embarrassed to read the kind of vitriolic hate mongering that's going on. I'm going to get louder, and I'm going to try to counter this shameful hooey with my own blend of medicine, using story telling with warm hearted, big brained, lovely people of all walks, colors and creeds to combat this fucking nazii minded right wing garbage. I'm ready to fight. Are you?

OH Mo Amer how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Your whip smart story telling, your long camel like eyelashes that are full of sadness, your little kid laugh, he and I met on the Norwegian Princess (maybe that was the name?) Mega Cruise ship, the 10th biggest in the world, that had water slides, rope courses, like 1000 restaurants and was so heavy from the egos of entrepreneurs that I was nervous we would sink. I loved summit, I HAD THE MOST FUN. Second up on my interviews of badass one of a kind humans is MO AMER. I'll let him tell his own story but suffice it to say, we had some magic storytelling chemistry. This interview went on FOR HOURS but i had to cut most of it out because it was innappropriate. I KNOW. I have a line, and I drew it with him. THANK YOU MO!!!!! Check him out www.moamer.com OR @REALMOAMER

I spent last weekend on the Summit at Sea boat party and this is one of the many amazing people I met there. I will preface it by saying the quality of my voice is akin to a 432 pound women named Bertha who works at 1-900-sex hotline. I hadn't slept much and had been yelling and singing alot, so as always, i'll promise to do better next time.

Introducing Sundanataidas! (Magic Spelling) Head of some section of the Hare Krishnas, I spent an afternoon with him trying to understand why I should buy an orange pashmina, give myself one of those top knot Los Angeles hair cuts and start dancing around like a spastic Capuchin monkey trying to attract a female. He actually was really wonderful. I assumed immidiately that he had a life like a boon dock saint, and had fled to Krishna for salvation and I WAS RIGHT. Either way, he was so bloody happy. Dancing around doing version of the electric slide with his buddies all dressed in orange Fanta colored clothes, it's really just so much fun. Anyway I learned a lot, mostly that Karmically, I'm in big big trouble, and I need to do some serious critical thinking about what I want my soul's destiny to be. This episode was edited and recorded by Barry Jive, my wonderful accomplice in recording crime.

I did an interview for a brand new podcast but I debated sharing it because the audio is so muffled however I always want to support and share my fellow podcasters work. It's from Breaking Ice. You can find his stuff here. It's really not my or I think his best work but whateva treva I don't have a episode this week so i'm cheating. https://soundcloud.com/makeastart

Greets and Salutations my friends and enemies alike! I will begin exclusively premiering shows on a new platform, called ACAST, which will allow me, due to small ads, to do this show full time without becoming a freegan who dumpster dives at whole foods, uses a moon cup and takes up ulkelele as a hobby. So hurray for creative freedom, boo for selling out but girls gotta brunch, ya know? So I spent a sun soaked day in Washington Sq Park with my trusty beat up toe up from the flo up free sex advice sign, adjacent to a baby grand piano that sits and waits for wayward musicians to stroke it's keys, and waited for the world to open it's oyster shell. Three wonderful humans discussing a sundry of life's most topical issues, mostly centered around anal sex, as always. LOVE ZOE

You spend your entire life thinking you are nothing like your parents while simultaneously trying to figure out how it's possible you are a combination of their genes. Then slowly, as you start to pay your own bills, establish your adulthood and form a friendship with them they begin to let down their parental shields and open up a John Malcovitch portal into their brain and you realize, FUCK ME, we are the same. THEN i imagine you spend the rest of your life watching in horror as you slowly become their doppleganger. Maybe the avalanche doesn't really happen until you have your own children and you catch yourself saying things you swore as a youth you would NEVER do..but I must tell you, my parents continue to surprise and shock me even thirty years after I met them. This story, told to me as we were washing the plates after Friday night dinner FLOORED me. I always knew my dad was a bit of a rebel without a cause, but this story takes place in the beginning of the 70's where he was a Lawyer working for a part of the Government was all about ethics and regulations! Makes sense. I got it from my poppa. Good for him. If I god forbid get tricked by my apparent ticking time bomb judas ovaries into having one of those babies everyone keeps raving about, these are the kind of parents I would want to be. This is my main issue with parenthood, the parents all seem to turn into zombie 28 days later hosts for the new lifeforce. I can totally see why creating a mini me and filling it with all the information I felt like my parents never taught me would have some curb appeal. But it turns out being a parent is so darn difficult, just keeping them alive its a gosh darn miracle let alone actually make them cool and socially adjusted with good taste in music and a good heart. I don't know. So anyway never mind my rambling, another testament to how much I love my parents and how much fun it always is to learn new things about who they are and where they came from.

So I've been spending more time with my parents because they are, lets face it, the absolute fucking best ever of all time. I've been struggling to find inspiration in NYC...and kind of moping around which is antithetical to my entire core of who I believe myself to be. So I went home to spend some time with my creators, and remember just how lucky I am to have chosen my amazing mother as a portal into this universe. I have developed a really new fun game where I ask my parents to define dirty words. It's the best. Sometimes I can't tell if they're fucking with me, as if they have their own secret game where they see if they can make me believe that it's possible, plausible or probable that they wouldn't know what road head is. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were drinking wine laughing at MY gullibility when I finally went to bed. Doubtful, but anyway, as I continue to work on the more difficult burning man episodes (next one launches NOV 1) I have some wonderful short family pieces to hopefully make you laugh in the meantime. Sending you SO MUCH LOVE. Zoe

My mother and I continue to fall down the rabbit hole further and further. I woke up Day 1, and found out that my mother and aunt Peggles were already out dancing at District. District is the craziness most bananas day party where various creatures of all shapes sizes and colors crawl out of their make shift homes and get grimy on the dance floor. I show up and where is my family, but at the very top of the three story dance floor, dancing with nekid super cute young men. I mean duh. I got it from my momma i guess. Anyway, in a flash she was off, on her own adventures, and coming back to camp with wild stories of wanton abandon. I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER IN MY LIFE I LOVE YOU MOM. Your bravery, openness and willingness to challenge yourself has always given me such pride. May we all learn to conquer our fears and doubt with such grace. I am still very much learning to tackle mine. Music: I feel Free: Cream Editor: audio god David Herman. I LOVE YOU DAVID. This photo was taken at my Bat Mitzvah where I was being a total asshole.

Secret for patreon!

Question: What happens when you take 5 east coast super jews whose idea of camping includes 4,000 Egyptian sateen blend sheets and a penchant for obsessing over food, logistics, weather and being on time and leave them helpless to fend for themselves in a desert populated with 70,000 insane asylum escapees with only ME as their way finder? MAGIC BABY. I have been plotting for this moment basically my whole life. I have always been different, always been the fly in my families ointment. While they love me, they’ve never really understood what the deviled egg I was ever wearing, saying, doing. My resistance to getting a “real job” my failure to get a masters. My insistence on spending my life traveling like dandelion spore in the wind. While they have always supported me, they have always questioned me, rolled their eyes and muttered old yiddish expressions under their breath whenever I would tell them about my newest adventure business idea or travel plans. We have always been incredibly close, but as the years went by and people moved away, had children, settled down we naturally grew apart. I stayed crazy, they all stayed sane. It’s like the quote in dazed and confused, I get older, they all stay the same age. I needed to ruffle their feathers. To take away their cell phones, their addiction to work and process. I needed them to get lost, be confused, fend for themselves against the elements, let fate take them on a Icarus ride straight to the sun. I needed them to understand the joy I have felt my whole life being free so they in turn could understand me. Everyone I told my plan to for the last five years has shook their head and said you’re crazy. I would never take my family there. Looking back on it, it was absolutely nothing short of brilliant. My mother and I switched places, I got to be her teacher and she my child. After it, have never been so full of love, hope and excitement for my future. I have never felt stronger, or like there is nothing I cannot conquer. This was an exhausting exhilarating rollarcoaster where I faced my past, my present and future fears all at once. Where my family each was torn down and left with a tabla rossa to completely reinvent who they were. I got to watch as my mother went through a sexual revolution that I believe will allow her to find the partner worthy of sharing her amazing life with. No matter who you are and what kind of relationship you have with your family, you can get deeper, you can face your judgements about one another and admit you failures and come into a kind of honesty and acceptance that I didn’t know was possible. To my amazing family, I LOVE YOU. Music: Tradition: from Fiddler on the Roof Do You Wanna Touch ME: Joan Jett This episode was edited by my new AMAZING Audio Alchemist (slave) David Herman he is a fucking bad ass and used to work for Freakonomics can you believe this shit. So expert a higher level of PRO from my usual gutter bargain basement editing. HURRAY

Bonus episode! Just a really silly bonus episode I wasn't going to air, but I had to take a sledgehammer to my first burning man episode I had created and start from scratch due to a combination of my total incompetence and a tired mac book air that gave out on me last night. Anyone wanna donate a computer to the you're welcome team? Fuck. My best friend Ben who came to burning man with me and my family explaining his lowest point. Excuse my cackle laughter, he makes me laugh so much and we had been at the burn for four days and I had been screaming for days and days while inhaling gallons of toxic prehistoric battery acid dust that had destroyed my previous vocal cords. (he's the one in the silly hat) He does bring up a good point however. Where does all this shame come from?

Why is it such a bad thing to want to fuck mothers? How is it possible that I still live in a world where I can't call my friends (who I assure you ARE) motherfuckers, on festive party buttons and stickers? How am I supposed to plan bachelor parties and baby showers for my male friends if my freedom of speech is shat upon by this amish minded company? How am I still having conversations like this? We live in a world where a video of too girls pooing into a cup was a cultural revolution. When the deviled egg are the hilarious Christian conservative super prudes going to admit defeat. The battle of good vs evil is over. The devil won. Turn on the news, just watch the Rebublican presidential debates for proof. Let me print my buttons in peace. Sheesh. Editors note. My father thought this was a boring uninspired episode. He may be right. Bear with me. I am getting through all my new material slowly! Music by: Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now Eyes Without A Face - Billy Idol

I was invited to record You're Welcome at a Art Gallery opening for a realistic sex exhibit last week but I had taken shelter in the summer air, because the inside of the pop up gallery literally smelled like the inside of an ovary. This was due to the lack of air conditioning in a alphabet city basement that was stuffed to the gills with 100 super quaffed/perfumed fashion week model/actor types all wearing Amish hats. My girlfriend described the smell as "mangey minge" I thought it smelled like the inside of an otter's pocket. I must say it lent a realistic atmosphere to huge paintings of double penetrated v's. ANYWAY as I was cooling off, and I see this wonderful man, who could have been a character in Zoolander, with what I thought was a hilarious fashion Snork Snorkel so obviously I forced him to come share what the deviled egg was going on. Basically he's a super lovely Cyborg who no longer identifies as human, and he's launching a campaign to open the first Cyborg Institute to help others use the same technology to enhance their lives. I don't know whether I'm happy about this or not. I actually can't imagine anything worse than having a device installed in my head that would make me love Times Square. There will be no limit to where this goes once it gets started. I for one am an analog girl living in a digital world. I want less and less technology. But as cars become driverless, computers get put in front of our eyes, porn becomes 3D through oculus rift, sex dolls get heartbeats, google launches balloons to blanket the world with free Wifi...I guess I wave the white flag. Pretty soon i'm going to have to move into a log cabin get a shot gun and start muttering to myself about the good old days when I had to wait hours for Kazaa to download Space Hog. The most exciting porn I when I was young was a gold leafed Kama Sutra book in my parents room. I am scared to have children. I just can't imagine what this stuff is doing to kids brains. Instant access to the entire cess pool of human collective wants and imagination? Get ready everyone, it's all happening, and it's happening FAST. Music credit: Mr. Roboto - STYX One More Robot - Flaming Lips My editor this week was the amazing Samir I found on Fiver. If anyone needs audio editing he is the best!! https://www.fiverr.com/users/sganich Video of him and me at the Show! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cbO53k4fFs Oh and it was produced/recorded by my new cute intern Barry Jive.

Good Golly Ms Molly am I in a slump. I've been trying to sort through the 40 hours of tape that I have from burning man. I honestly just keep staring at my computer and then trying to find the one 1/4 bar of xanex I keep for emergencies..But because everything I own is covered in powered battery dust and my brain feels like it's swollen 6 times to big for skull I can't find it. So here I sit, freaking out, lonely, depressed wishing i could crawl back inside my mothers womb and ask god for a refund, and trying to remember all that powerful carpe diem chutzpah I used to have. I promised I would post every Wednesday. I obviously lied. If you want to help me on my path of hiring someone to shift through my raw tape and help me edit this monstrosity of a burning man episode staring one Kathy Jane Klaus (my mother) Please donate to my Patreon Campaign: https://www.patreon.com/zoenightingale?ty=h If i can get a couple thousand people to donate a dollar a month I will be able to do this full time, with an editor and buy new equipment and MAYBE just MAYBE get this shit done on time. At the moment, I am moving about as fast as a sea turtle trying to get up a sand dune and lay 1,000 eggs. So please forgive me, and here's a interview I did with a Swarovski crystal dealer at the AVN porn awards who was set up right next to Hustler, selling brilliantly expensive rubbish to ladies who wouldn't know style/class if it fucked them in ass. I never thought it was funny and the sound quality is garbage, but as I sift through my raw tape I'm going to have to keep pulling old mucky muck out to keep you entertained. AND I promise you that I did my homework and really soon I will have brilliant new pieces for you. PROMISE.

Whoooo boy! This was a DOOZY. There is no myth worse for me than the engagement ring. Maybe it's because i'm of that age where people actually start to buy them. Did anyone else take the same history lessons as I did? I know i'm sounding like a crazy cat lady but seriously they're beautiful, fine, they are valuable i guess, but i don't like the mentality that traps us all into this boring cycle of commitment, monogamy, cheating because we are monkeys who constantly need to put out genitals on stuff, and then divorce. Anyway my girlfriend and I after Ashley Madison disaster went to go see what was going on in a place where A BILLION DOLLARS A DAY IS BEING EXCHANGED IN EVERY BUILDING. * any relationship mentioned here and is purely make believe. Patreon campaign is up! https://www.patreon.com/zoenightingale?ty=h

IIntroducing Kai and Plasma, two traveling ladies of the streets who came up to ask me if I could give them money to help replace their boyfriends with rats. I mean, how does one say no to this question? I ended up on a literal rat race around New York City that took two days and brought into sharp focus some interesting questions for me about the morality around animal rights. What I always find to be incredible, is that somehow our worth is locked into home ownership. One of the most vicious capitalistic reinforcements, where if you live on the streets you become invisible and not worthy of compassion. These girls were not drug addicts, they were women who had had difficult upbringings and had become used to a life hopping fright trains, seasonal work (they pick blueberries and weed!)and a revolving roster of men who take advantage of them. Kai, a Native American who left her reservation to find a better life and with brutal trappings of little education on the reservation fell into stripping (her stripper name was Pocahantas, worst) and a transient life. Plasma, a Bosnian immigrant, whose boyfriend had just OD'd on heroin, was looking for an animal companion so she could have a reason to live, and something to look forward to. I had to think a lot about my own morality about my consumption of meat, leather, my obsession over my one sacred pet and then neglect of other forms of animal cruelty. I can't decide if I did the right thing. It felt right. I don't know yet where I get this weird compass about animal rights, what is an OK animal to eat and wear, why I have strong feelings about Fur, but not leather. Why I think it's ok to eat chicken and not veal. Our barometer as humans is so fucked up about what we will and won't take a moral high ground on. As this clearly meth addicted manager of Petco stared at me with total contempt, spikey, yet fuzzy teeth sticking through his upper lip, I despised him. I instantly wanted all the bad things in life to happen to him and only him..which is bananas, because why do I have the right to hate him for standing up for his beliefs no matter if they were held together by duct tape and sheer determination? Either way, Pepe, the skunk colored rat is thriving, and and I'll post photo updates soon. Special thanks to my new editor Katherine Rae Mondo. She is the only reason I have an episode this week. Music: Principles by Benoit and Sergio (who are fucking epic) Manifest Destiny, Jamiroquai

I snuck into the Voice Auditions using one of my many fake business cards, and dove head first into the nightmare that is the audition process for a reality T.V show. This was a really hard podcast to do because it was a Philippe Petit style tight rope walk between supporting people's creative dreams, and also feeling the need to be a realistic barometer so perhaps I could shave years of poverty and disappointment off their lives. Everyone reminded me of the kids from the movie Fame..full of hope and ambition, all with completely unrealistic dreams and a future full of uncertainty and rejection. On what planet is being judged by a revolving cast of hasbeens from the 90's a good idea? Christina Agrilera used to wipe cum off her face in her music videos while wearing ass less chaps and a bad weave. MAROON 5? That whiney little bitch is so fucking lucky he isn't some sad sack bar mitzvah singer in Staten Island. I don't know whose dick he sucked to get famous, but it was the right one. Blake who? Usher? Come on. These judges don't give a shit about anything besides adding a tiny bit of flame to their diminishing relevance. Voice is NOT the way to realize your dreams. Why do we all feel like our lives only matter if it's projected onto a screen so millions of people (who have ZERO relevance to your actual life) can judge us instantly and then go back to scratching their balls and eating microwavable dinners? My heart hurts for them all. Lined up like cattle, casting agents checking off little boxes trying to come up with a dynamic formula for a show that hasn't produced not one Kelly Clarkson. NOT ONE! Also, I met NO people of color who made it through. NONE. The only people I met who got through were medium hot mid twenties white girls. I am not joking. I hope one day we shut these programs off. Turn to the people around us, and play charades. We as a collective society are turning into the most boring bunch of lemmings of Orwellian proportions that even the literary masters of the early 20th century couldn't have predicted. TURN OFF YOUR SCREENS. SING IN THE STREETS. Don't let anyone ever tell you you can't pursue your creative dreams. BUT do not be led by the pied piper of talent based reality television. Start a sound cloud page, use free social media tools to spread your music. Make cute, cheap Youtube videos with your friends, let your personality shine. Listen to Field of Dreams, If you build it, they will come.

Greetings Friends! As I piece together my new podcast I thought I would repost an interview I did with Alan Lewis for a podcast called Speak Into This. I was a little grumpy when we did this interview, and it was super late due to his time zone in Australia and I get a little preachy and sanctimonious towards the end. Sorry about that...I have just been so overwhelmed with the state of the world, I keep getting up on these little invisible soap boxes. Apologies in advance. Either way I wish you THE BEST WEEK EVER. Go make out, hold hands, dance in the sun, get lost, get drunk, eat mushrooms and play in the woods, just attack the day. It's an awesome time to be ALIVE. https://soundcloud.com/speak-into-this - Listen to all his stuff here!

Countdown is ON! One more day until I begin to describe myself as "in my early 30's" and start saying things like, " that was a such a great soul cycle class." I wanted to post this episode because as I'm getting older, my girlfriends become more and more vicious about their critical opinions about their bodies and by proxy mine. IT SUCKS. Just because I LOVE carbs, and would rather drink a glass of wine and play charades than spend an hour of my precious time looking like a menopausal hamster sweating on a spinning wheel, whose stuck in time, going actually nowhere at the gym. I HATE THE GYM. Who are these freaks who like being in these places? I always feel like i'm in Gattaca, when I'm on the treadmill (RARE) and everyone is a bunch of mindless robots. Anyway so this last year was BRUTAL. It's possible I gained some weight..give or take 30 pounds. But to be fair my look before could have been described as methtastic. I was really thin, and apparently accordingly to most of my girlfriends, that was the better look for me. Anyway this made me laugh, so on this, the day that my mother went to the hospital and I was born with 30 minutes, I send my love to all of you...I am in a barn in the middle of nowhere with the people I love and I AM SO GRATEFUL. Thank you Kathy Jane for your constant love, devotion, sacrifice and wisdom. Without you I would be literally NOTHING. I LOVE YOU

I met this lovely girl on the steps outside Union Square who was holding a sign that said "Homeless, Pregnant, Please Help" so I helped the only way I know how..She is brilliantly funny, resilient and warm. It's a story I've heard many times, religious parents and a daughter who gets into normal teenage trouble, and the lack of acceptance drives them to the streets. This is major issue in the LGBT community as well and it breaks me every time. I just realized I should have used the Bone Thugs and Harmony song she reminded me of for my intro. Dammit. Next time. Their are so many girls standing at this fork, and with a little bit of help and love, they could get right back up on their feet, it's up to us as a society to figure out ways that work to help kids who want to hump each other all day deal with the very real repercussions of their pituitary gland. This was a tough one for me, and a very delicate situation, and I am aware that my approach may ruffle some feathers. But I feel strongly that we need to talk more openly about abortion as a community to help reduce the stigma and shame that is still attached to it. Either way, you will never look at Whole Foods the same way, I promise you. Lastly, I have been a strugglesarus rex with the work/life/passion project thing. However, finally I have something to show for the countless hours of recording i've been doing all over the summer streets. More to come. Thank you all for your words of love and support, it fills my whole body with the energy I need to do this after a long day of work. LOVE Zoe

I have been working on a new podcast for the last couple weeks and I promise that I'm almost done. You know when you are trying to balance your professional life and your creative life and you just suck balls at it? Well that's where I'm at. In the Mean time, Jake Sasseville, called me a couple weeks ago, and asked if he could flip the script on me, and give me a taste of my own medicine. I met jake years ago, and we shared a common love, radio. Jake had started his own show, basically in his basement as a young tween. So after a really long day at work I went home, had almost a bottle of Rose and tried to explain to him all the failures and decisions that have shaped me into the person I am today. It's been amazing to receive so much love and hate recently, and I guess this is a bit of explanation of what i'm trying to do? I don't know. You can listen to all his beautiful interviews ProfoundlyHuman.com and on Sticher http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-jake-sasseville-show

Hi everyone! I present to you, my latest serious hard hitting journalism piece, "Brooklyn's Smallest Penis Pagent." I want to preface by saying I went to this with my four best/worst girlfriends, and we were drinking...heavily....the event dragged on forever...and we kept drinking Penis Coladas..and my voice got...let's just say a bit aggressive. I want to also explain that this event, that was in DEEP bushwick (obvi) was packed with drop dead sexy black men, which I found really hilarious. So please forgive my repetitive yelling of show us your dick.

So i recently auditioned for my idol Howard Stern.They made me make him a reel of the highlights of my radio show from the last year. So i spent days and days pulling out funny bits to try and make my hero laugh. I then played my selections for my friends, who all said that I sounded like I had the charisma of a cardboard box. So I scrapped it and went with a crowd selected bunch of mini clips that people seemed to like. Either way, wish me luck! *Update. I was quote "too smart and too long" for their show. Oh well guess I gotta keep schlepping along.

Sorry i've been Mia. I have two full time jobs and a super sick pup who destroyed my already invisible saving's account. Suffice it to say I haven't had a lot of extra time and money to travel around talking to strangers. HOWEVER i've established a routine, my pup's nose is cold and wet and i'm ready to go back into my favorite world of talking to strangers about their penile dysfunction. Here's a quick, short, sweet secret recording of my parents...how I love them so. I didn't include my dad kvetching about not wanting to pay for something even when it wasn't him paying. Priceless.

I recently got a hidden microphone. I had to, because in order to record myself embarrassing my amazing mother I had to be more discreet, she's "on to me" so she thinks! So after a beautiful night walking through the wintery streets of the West Village, red wine, laughter, and PG fun at the Barrow Theatre I tricked my mom and aunt into checking out "Fantasy World" the 24 hour full on sex store on West 4th. She just kept picking stuff up and showing them to me like a cat that presents a dead mouse on your doorstep, with equal amounts sheepishness and pride. She literally couldn't believe the pandoras box available to pleasure seekers. As she's recently on the dating scene, I thought it would be a good idea to get her equipped for her next J date. I love my mom, and once again I'm sorry. I promised I wasn't recording. I was lying. I love you. I'm getting you that penis jello mold for passover.

I met Pablo McFagFace, Bobby Pin, Jane Fondler and Lady Diamond at the Weribee National Park/Zoo in Melbourne Australia. I was with my friend Grant who desperately wanted to know more about how he could get to know his prostate. This one gets a little graphic I must say. All in all I ended up having quite a night with these four ladies, We were staying at the same hotel and I helped them get into their evening pool looks which may I say were exceptional. Hope to see you soon ladies, thanks for all the advice!

I don't get it. I consider myself to be a relatively educated human. I have strong opinions, I went to a bunch of schools i've read a bunch of books...BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND the art world. But then again, who am I to judge? It seems to me to be a big fixed operation where a bunch of jerk off rich assholes decide what art should be valuable just like they do in the stock market, call each other up on the iPhone 7's they already have from 43,000 feet while they eat seal carpaccio in their gulf streams and laugh like Mortimer and Randolph Duke dreaming of their Scrooge Mcduck vaults of gold and riches. All the art I loved was cheap, all the art I hated was so expensive I kept thinking it was a joke. Piles of garbage, literal animal carcasses, stuff that looked like it was made by a serial killer in an insane asylum with his own excrement. I found it really challenging. So I spent most of my art basel asking people why and how this has happened. Here's what I've learned - NOTHING. It's all just a big circle jerk of short rich guys and their ballon lipped girlfriends/prostitutes However I did manage to talk to some really funny people and ruffle the feathers of quite a few gallerists and I may have found Miami's next great rap superstar.

I just love New York City. Another drive by Free Sex Advice Victim in the form of a obviously closeted flaming homosexual Austrian tourist who stopped by to chat with me when the weather was warmer about the meaning of life and why woman had all the power. He had the creepiest laugh I may have ever heard, wonderful just wonderful stuff.

So I found myself in Melbourne Australia in the middle of a music festival at a Koala reserve because even though I recently turned thirty, I am still an overgrown child clinging on to my eucalyptus tree of youth. To make matters worse I was wandering around in a neon animal print onesie talking to Ozzy's totally munted youth (new world! means chewing face!)I saw a giant inflatable igloo with a man named Lucky Toby gaurding the door in a matching floral suit. No one was allowed to go in. It was this amazing VIIIIP igloo and all these stoned festival goers kept wanting to know what it was and the answer was invariably, you can't come. The people inside are too famous. They granted me an exclusive interview, which I was very greatful for at 7 which was three hours from when I recorded the first part of this. He was guarding Melboune's most famous unheard of supergroup, Expen$$$ive who was doing an exclusive VIP meet and greet in said bubble for their "fans." When you walked into the bubble there were three girls dressed in almost nothing sort of like Britney Spears in the Lucky Video, all frills and fluff and pink with barbie perfume and blank CD's, troll dolls and high heels and pink feathers. Usually I would get along famously with people like this, but from the moment I stepped in, I felt the Hindenberg start to catch fire. To be clear, the didn't like me. One bit. Not one bit. And I for the first time EVER ended up apologizing to an interviewee because I was trapped in this bubble with three very hormonal women who all looked like they could beat the shit out of me, who also possibly could have had some gender identity issues. They looked like the girls who did backstage at theatre camp, and were ready to put my head into a wood chipper. I also have gotten into a fair amount of trouble with lesbians in my life, they usually have a shit sense of humor. So even though I am NEVER sorry for being offensive OR talking about other peoples cervii I bowed down to their power and got the fuck out of igloo (dodge)I still don't know whether this was all a practical joke. Which is what makes it so genius. Keep turning it up to 11 ladies.

Ok, part 2 of my back ally exploration of Hastings street which is one of the most dangerous, notorious streets for homeless heroin addicts in the world! So I basically draped my microphones around my shoulders and walked around and waited for the fates to weave me a beautiful complex tapestry. I must tell you that there is a dignity and honesty to the homeless that I am addicted to. I love talking to them. There's no bullshit, there's no pretense, no instagram filters, they have nothing to hide and nothing prove. During the holidays, I always find people who care to be depressed and stressed out. Running around buying scarves for family members they see once a year and have no ability to connect to anymore in a substantive way. So on today, the day before Christmas, I want to give thanks. Serious deep hardcore pray to a golden calf bloodletting thanks, to my mother. For being the most beautiful, patient, loving, thoughtful and brilliant woman I could ever imagine. How it happened that I came out of the cosmos and had the absolute luck to be transported through her magical body into this world is beyond me. Secondly to my father, whose brilliant comedic mind is a thing of real beauty. I always tell people I come from a long line of punsters and jokesters, I can almost feel your wordsmithery running through my veins. Happy Holidays Everyone, the people that you meet on this tape and really gorgeous, really homeless, and full of the kind of dignity most people will never know.

I don't know what it is about crack allies that i love so much. Doesn't bode well for my future or speak well of my past. More and more I am just eternally grateful for my life. It's been a really challenging year for me personally and I lost someone I love very much. Through it all, there is so much to be thankful for. My mothers smile, my dogs wet nose, moments of pure joy and deep laughter, so this holiday thanksgiving weird time where we give thanks and remember history that was blood soaked and rape infested I hope we can all take a second put down our god damn iphones and think how lucky we are to be able for just one day to live in this amazing earth.

I met these two turtleneck enthusiasts during one of my "Free Sex Advice" booths in Washington Square Park. They were two little pokemon balls of positivity and had so much jewish wool over their eyes i'm not sure if they could even see. They made me want to call my mom immidiately and apologize for being such a wayward sheep. Then subsequently have another bat mitzvah for learning so early what a bunch of absolute hooey it all is. We talked about many things but mainly their supposed "virginity" this "hymen" thing i had totally forgotten about and what would they do when this sex they waited their whole pious lives for came around and their little Larry David wanna be would cum in four seconds with his tiny little circumcised weenie. Yuck. They really made me laugh though. ENJOY

So I often spend my taxi cab rides talking to the drivers. Often times they are sponge bob crazy pants. This one was so so sweet to me, yet so so archaic, misguided, homophobic and misinformed. But he had an incredible amount of conviction about his nasty little ideas that it was fun to banter with him.

goodness gracious great balls of fire. I knew it would be a good idea to call and secretly record my mother learning that I was about to go to the Kink.com armory building home of such enterprises as boundgangbang, everything butt, public disgrace, sex and submission the list goes on and on, generally totally vicious, ferocious, feral, wild fetish world where there are literally no limits. I had met the vivacious and totally terrifying Princess Donna with my sister back at the AVN (adult video awards) in vegas last year. She is gorgeous, well educated, eloquent and a sex positive, lioness who wears her sexuality like a badge of honor. She invited me to check out behind the scenes of her directed shoot "Public Disgrace," where one woman was literally swarmed like termites on soft wet pine by a cross section of rando san fran riff raff who is able to touch, and interact with said model. It's absolutely overwhelming. I literally had to leave as soon as i was done with my interviews and they started filming. After I went, I called my mom again to share my experiences with her. i hope it makes you laugh as much as it made my sister.

There's nothing like a festival to make you feel awesome about what you look and sound like. Fields of furry hobbit drug monsters sucking on pacifiers, pupils blown, futures questionable. Don't get me wrong, I love raving, I just can't believe what it actually looks like now...I can't tell if it's because i'm older or it's just that much more horrible. The main difference is the music was good! I also don't remember this PLUR shit (the peace love unity respect movement) at all. The music when I was a rave monster back in the day...was good! (or maybe the drugs were better? who knows) This "music" was so awful it felt like Athena was sprouting fully formed out of my head. Reporting live from Mystery Land music festival on the harrowed Woodstock Grounds in Monticello NYC. So I want to preface by saying that I had eaten some chocolate mushrooms and i spent the whole time trying not to sink into the ground. I had much, much funnier interviews but I bungled them somehow which is not surprising. But here's the best of the worst, hope you enjoy!

This is an old episode I never published, but since I actually have a day job that's kicking my ass right now, i'm having a use old material. Never fear, I will be spending the whole weekend searching out the globe for weird characters to share with you! Anyway I loved this women, she looked like a bootleg Joan Jett and had the voice of mike myers in S.N.L Coffee Talk. the title says it all. All you need in life is a big dog, a pair a hose, a saint john's suit and a can of hairspray.

OH BOY OH BOY! Justin Ross Lee has graced us with his pretentious prick once more! This time this big fat dick has a voluntary muzzle on it because the Great Tin Man himself, this heartless charicature of modern jewishness has gone to Oz and found a heart in the ample bosom of one Kate Nardi queen of the Shiksas. It's actually really cute. I know everyone hates him, but the truth is he's merely a moderately clever person whose turned minimal talent into maximum profits and exposure. As a rule I never hate the player, I merely hate the world we live in in where these kinds of bullshit antics begat attention and money. He talks to us about what has happened since his time on Millionaire Matchmaker, his impending law suits, and of course his favorite topic his penis.

Happy 4/20 ya'll! This very short episode comes from a cannibus enthusiast drum circle at Venice Beach where people were just getting silly. I spoke to this seemingly yoga mom hippie dippie type who was waxing poetic about trees and hugging and incense or something but then launched into some a typical sponge bob crazy pants rants that were really confusing considering how high I was. Editors note: not my most attractive face. Also please excuse the horrible shrieking quality of my voice I was…really really stoned and it was the first time i had worn shorts in 6 months, i was a little excited.

Oh dear. Meet Mandy Morbid, an amazing spirit who has found a way to overcome extreme adversity. Afflicted with a rare genetic discorder that causes her body to basically fall apart when she stands, she has still mustered the moxy to raise above it and become a porn star. We could all learn a thing about making lemonade from the sourest lemons.

The great Harry Perry, or Kama Kosmic Krusader, a caramel skinned, ocean eyed yogic musician who has dominated the Venice boardwalk since 1964. Wearing a white turban, a bright white smile, rollarblades, hockey shin guards, and playing his well-loved, target-patterned Fender Stratocaster with a tiny "pig nose" speaker tucked into his belt. At 6'4 before the blades, he is a sight to behold. Harry can be seen in several movies including 1987 - Dragnet (Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks) 1988 - You Can't Hurry Love (Bridget Fonda, Anne Bancroft) 1988 - Greetings from L.A. 1988 - Lovestruck 1993 - Point of No Return 1992 - White Men Can't Jump 1993 - Point of No Return 2009: Tenacious D Pick of Destiny Most importantly, this man has the most amazing energy and laugh, his eyes twinkle and he's been doing what he loves and making TONS of money doing it for the last 40 years all under the California Sun.

A travesty occurred. This interview was much longer and I accidentally hit this stupid button and deleted an amazing argument about dinosaurs, homesexuality and anal sex but I was able to salvage the last end of my interactions with this lovely Jesus fanatic who stands all day every day on the Hollywood strip holding a big sign that says "Jesus Saves, Repent Your Sins" and a T shirt that said "Jesus Saves Us, I repent, Amen." He was covered in cheap prison style tattoo's and had almost demonically bright eyes that shined behind deep dark skin and a big crazy town beard. He was like a Politician who got caught having an affair, his lines were so parroted that it was literally like talking to a wall. I always have the hardest time getting non bible based responses from jesus freaks they are terrible debators factually but excellent orators and are so committed to their hooey that they always wear me down to a piece of obsidian.

Tragic. A wonderful lady who like many has come to Los Angeles to follow her dream of working as an actress. The problem is, she has yet to find work so she like many before her, has donned a disney costume and started patrolling the Hollywood strip as a sad Ariel from the Little Mermaid to make money. I met her on her first day trying this out. She was lovely, honestly, and I wish her the absolute best. She had blue glitter eyeliner that looked like it was drawn on by a five year old, purple glitter fake eyelashes and a custom made tail that was ill-fitting and accentuated all her wrong curves. I just wanted to wash her face, rip off her seashells and put some clothes on her. She gave me a hint of her acting skills with a minute long monologue that she gives whenever she goes on castings. That acting bug is a cruel and capricious mistress.

In case you were pissed off today when Starbucks guy gave you 2 percent instead of soy, or your 4G was slow, your TIVO didn't record your favorite show, the train was late or your flight delayed... Raven is here to give you and your "problems" a much needed reality check. From her miserable childhood which lead her calling the police on her family to only then be shuffled through a litany of terrible foster parents to her years living off the streets and riding freight trains to addiction to teen motherhood, her life has been like a thriller staring Morgan Freeman and Jodie Foster. She stands tall and proud in the face of almost insurmountable abuse and neglect and made me feel an rush of gratitude for my family arguably perfect childhood. Settle in, kick your feet up and immerse yourself in the movie that is Raven her life and her triumph. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.' Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore - For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore - Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating `'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door - Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; - This it is, and nothing more,' Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, `Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; - Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!' Merely this and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. `Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore - Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; - 'Tis the wind and nothing more!' Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door - Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door - Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore - Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as `Nevermore.' But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered - Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before - On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.' Then the bird said, `Nevermore.' Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, `Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore - Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore Of "Never-nevermore."' But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore - What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking `Nevermore.' This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore! Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. `Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted - On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore - Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore - Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore - Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels name Lenore?' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' `Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting - `Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.' And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted - nevermore!

I swear this guy might be Bob Dylan. The sound of his voice is epic, melodious and perfectly sums up the sound of the streets of California. I don't spend alot of time out in the wild west but every time I go I am floored at the characters that have sprouted up along the streets on on their perfect beaches. The warm weather lends itself to the creme de la creme of crazies and I spent a full day sitting and just listening to the songs they had to sing. So here we have Paul, a heroin addicted felon who was incarcerated for 20 years living on the boardwalk in Venice. Surrounded by cheeky signs asking for drugs, sex, and money he was drinking a cocktail so foul it was an epic battle to just sit next to him. He smelled like 20 years of sadness. He had deep tourquoise eyes, made even brighter by the lightning bolts of red that shot straight into his pupil. He lost his wife, his son, and his only family his daughter won't speak to him. He's got an ant farm of needle tracks criss crossing his tatted arms but he had this quiet dignity to him that was powerful and palpable.

what on earth can i even say anymore. Every single women at the dog show wants to look like an old apple computer, archaic, old, boxy, thick and absolutlely SEXLESS. This is a woman who wears a piece of filet mignon on her arm...

. Coming from small catholic towns....rebels with a cause. Beautiful, smart and funny I wanted to just shake them and scream YOU HAVE SO many options. They assured me that this wouldn't be their career for long.. that they will one day hang up their v's and own their own line of toys, and production company and be directors instead. I tried to tell them perhaps they were too young to understand the severity of their actions and that perhaps staring in incest porn wouldn't be something they would want on their linked in profile in the future, they were non plussed. I hope desperately that this industry isn't going to devour them and leave them like a armadillo carcass for the vultures on the side of the highway.

I met this amazing Jane Lynch look alike at the dog show and I could tell before she even admitted to loving Ani Difranco that she also loved v on her face. I delve deeper into why ALL women in this show wear the same HORRENDOUS boxy sparkley knit lesbo power suit.

Oh what a lovely knight this was! An epic swordsman, horse rider and defender of chivalry, introducing "Sir Christopher."

A huge bronze man in an epic beaver/lion fur robe stopped to talk to me about what it takes to be one of the main knights at Medieval Times.

I met the CUTEST boy EVER who had just turned 15. He had this whispy pubey mustache and super long hair and looked like a acned mini rockstar from the 80s. He was there with his mother who couldn't have been older than 30. He explained to me why PC gaming is so much better and his DJ style. Such a cutie...his voice kept cracking!

Introducing Bogey, the champion Samoyed. We interviewed his owner about the effects showing champion dogs can take on your sex life. Bogey was being groomed, petted and attended to by 3 asians who were literally imported from all over the world to tend to this fantastic specimen. His owner looked like he had come straight from Goldman Sachs and had the deep red lobster glow of a man whose just gotten back from Ft Lauderdale and had been wearing a flowered shirt and a jimmy buffett hat. Shockingly, his owner seemed totally willing to sell me his prized animal for the right price even when I asserted it would be to sell off as meat to koreans or for my own personal pleasure. Anyway, the dog was INCREDIBLE. Like a giant Falcor marshmallow lion teddy bear made of clouds. My apologies there is a sound of the dryer of them puffing up this fluff ball while i spoke to him, it's a tad annoying.

You're Welcome was invited to cover the 2014 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. I met the most wonderful people and learned about the complicated politics behind this event. My absolute favorite was this sparkling disco ball, Darla Sue Doherty handler of Castle, a Great Pyrenees and the runner up at the Westminster Dog Show 2014. Hailing from the snowy tundras of Indiana, this woman was straight out of Best in Show and literally had a busy bee.

When I saw the Hookers for Jesus booth I immediately thought it was going to be some sort of obnoxious conversion freaks however these were incredibly eloquent wonderful women who turned difficulties in their life into an opportunity to help others. Yes there is an undercurrent of religion to their work, but they are helping women who have been sex trafficked or fallen through the cracks of the sex industry get a second chance at life. Through cocaine addiction, domestic violence, and cancer Annie has made it out of a devastating life as a prostitute and turned her life around now helping her fellow sex workers find a way out of a vicious cycle of drugs, death and disease. She worked under the name "Falon" for 16 years until she eventually overdosed on cocaine after being diagnosed with Lymphoma. After I talked to her two coworkers, women who had been married for 30 years to porn addicts who came to work for Hookers For Jesus after their painful divorces. They talked a lot about the devastatingly effects porn has had on their lives and what it's like now as a 50 plus woman trying to compete with the virtual world. I found them absolutely riveting, The best part was their booth was smack dab in the middle of the AVN convention, so they were trying to get these girls who were there promoting their porns to give up their life and come to God. It's like being a rehab clinic handing out pamphlets in the middle of a WMC rave. www.hookersforjesus.net (who the hell has www.hookersforjesus.com?!!)

One of the best parts of starting this show was my mothers reaction to it. I can't begin to tell you how much fun it is to watch her respond to the different topics I bring up and her shock and confusion over the nefarious people I meet. Basically my mother has this sweet, insanely gullible head in the clouds mindset (She thought my bong was a water vase) and regardless of how many times I trick her, she always has faith that in the future I will "act with gentle loving kindness." It reminds me of the Einstein quote about the definition of insantity... It's not her fault, her name is Kathy Jane and she grew up in the 50's and wore white gloves and pearls at dinner. Her clothes had her name embroidered in them and the most trouble she ever got in was when she definantly refused to eat her Strawberry Rhubarb Pie and was sent to her room without desert. However, she's always had a problem with what she calls my "fresh" mouth, and while she's come to terms with who I am, I still have so much fun pushing her buttons. This conversation also perfectly demonstrates her complete inability to use Skype even after we've been using it for a decade together to communicate. Her camera is always pointed on her left ear, or right elbow.. Any time she leaves me a voicemail she's starts it with "hi, it's Kathy, your mother calling," as if I don't have caller ID nor the ability to ascertain within 1 millisecond it's her calling. She also signs off her texts messages letting me know who was writing...it gets me everytime. I love her so much.

I learned so much from Miss Jesse Jane, Queen of Porn. First lesson, you can be a serious professional and not even know what LinkedIn is!! Second, how to give the perfect blow job. Third, not everyone paid attention is English Lit Class like I did. Surprisingly, my Melville reference was completely lost on this blonde bombshell. Jesse has appeared in several mainstream films and TV shows including Entourage, and starred in more than 75 adult including the most expensive Porn to have ever been made. "Pirates". (A spoof on Pirates of the Carribean!) She has an incredible array of sex toys, lubes, Fleshlights and real dolls, basically she is a super Baller with a net worth of 8 million all earned with carefully placed blow jobs, she is my HERO. She has an important lesson, love yourself and your body no matter what color or shape it comes in, lucky for her however, her's comes in the shape of sex on a stick. She's literally like a pedofiles wet dream. Introducing, the one, the only Jesse Jane.

Brian Pumper and His Little Love Muscle How do I even begin. I saw this teeny tiny black man dripping in diamond jewelry leading a giant black woman dressed in white lace lingerie (who had a foopah so large that it could have doubled as a waterbed) ON A WHITE LEASH. It was so wonderful that I ran through the casino to ask him for an interview. Let me be clear, Brian or "B" Pumper is eloquent, educated, and hilarious, and has an AMAZING list of Porn Titles under his belt. Some of my favorite are: 1. Weapons of Ass Destruction 2., Black Poles cumin up white holes 3. 1 in the pink 2 in the Stink, (which is wonderful change up of the usual saying) 4. Butts Tits Feet Mouth Dick Pussy 2, 5.Can a Brotha Get a Squirt 1, 6. Bootylicious 44: Slaves For The Black Man, 7. Black Thai Affair 8. Black on White Crime 4 9. Black in My Saddle Again 10.Beverly Hills 9021-ho 3 11. Racial Profiling 2 12.Big Black Sticks In Little White Slits 13. Where the Fuck's the G Spot? The poetry, the word play the metaphor the use of hundreds of years of racial inequality the puns, and he thought he could actually get me to pay 20 dollars to own one of them! Anyway I talked to him for hours, but I had been drinking heavily and somehow screwed up the recording so I only have some of it but ladies and gentleman, I present to you B PUMPER!!!!

Oh how I loved this lovely old man...(he was born in 1938!) I found him strolling around the convention hall, his leather sholder bag stuffed full of films titled things like Mothers Vs. Daughters...He had recently lost his life long wife and was spending his days volunteering at the Zoo (i mean how adorable) and jerking off to 18 year old girls who have to hold up their passport in the beginning, probably from an eastern european country just to prove they aren't 12...Anyway I digress, he was actually really sweet and dreamed of a day when he could simply have sex with a nice girl...who was three dimensional. We talked about having sex in your third trimester of life...trust me, I think all of us should forget about all our insecurities and have as much sex as humanely possible because the future is BLEAK kids

I met this kevin federline (KFC version) looking man who claimed his name was Hung Low and he was from Singapore. Problem was he was wearing a collection of claire's jewelry which he called "real fake" and sounded like a cast member of jersey shore. He admitted to me with very little probing why he uses dildos...

Ugh, where to even begin. Imagine a real life Pinata, only filled with STD's and a boob job that was done by someone who was visually impaired (unless she specifically asked for tits that looked like water balloons filled with cement.) Then pour that concoction into a 14 peso turquoise dress that has cut outs so you can see her cesarian scars. She was there with her boyfriend/producer who looked like Ricky Martin's little brother if he was missing a chromosome. I had to take 12 showers after this one. She should come with one of those Yuk man stickers I used to have on my fridge when I was little, with a hotline you could call if you ever by accident swallowed her.

How can I even begin to describe what an absolute legend this man is. He's dominated the Porn industry for the last 12 years, and I couldn't get enough of his style, humor, and razor sharp wit. From a small town in Texas where he worked at a slaughterhouse, to the big dick king of adult films, sit back and enjoy the ride.

I met Tan, a lovely quiet Malaysian man with a wonderful laugh and fabulous bond villian accent. He had been standing in line for two hours trying to get Jesse Jane to take a picture with him (the Queen of Blowjobs and Princess of Digital Playground) and i decided to keep him company while he waited. We talked about his masturbation habits, and his inability to keep a girlfriend due to his rampant porn addiction.

I met an absolutely terrifying man in my trip to Las Vegas Porn Awards this weekend. His name was "Flashman" he was holding three open Budweisers, and claimed to be on something called "Miley Cyrus Extacy" he was wearing the entire claire's collection of jewelry from 1993 and his breath smelled like china town in august. Enjoy

Introducing Diego. One of the best men I've ever met. Wonderful, charismatic, homeless man living in Thompskin Sq park since 1999. I have never wanted to help someone as badly as I did this man. He was sharp, funny and his story broke my heart. I have tried to find him, for over a year since I met him. I fell in love with his story, and I've never been able to get the sound of his voice out of my head.

A beautiful 25 years old mother and wife to a Marine sat down to talk to me about what was missing in her sex life, her fantasies and called her husband so we could tell him together what he could do to make her more satisfied.

Two drop dead gorgeous, on fire gay men stopped to talk to me about monogamy, relationships, and a secret life of prostitution.

Tom, a 60 year old, very handsome Vet of multiple wars came to talk to us about his 5,000 plus sexual partners, what it feels like to take a life, and the wonderful world of 1960's in Spain.

Two ladies,dressed in J crew turtle necks, fresh off the greyhound, came to talk to me about their troubles with online dating, their vagina size, and their love of whipped cream schnapps. I must say, they were excellent sports, I was in a feisty mood and they took it with dignity grace and a lot of laughter.

I met a very cute, very young looking girl in Washington sq park. She immidiately started talking to me about her sex life and boyfriend who was going to meet her there in a couple minutes. When I saw what her boyfriend I was floored. At least 40 years older, algerian guy who looked a lot like a sea cucumber.